pretty odd

genre: the fluffiest of fluff

warnings: death mention, but d&p don’t die, dw.

words: 12k what

summary: Dan Howell, piano teacher and speedster, craves chocolate cakes at three in the morning. He meets a baker named Phil who owns the only store opened at three in the morning and who bakes the most delicious chocolate cake in the world. It’s a pretty odd love story.

a/n: this motherfucker. This fucking fic, man. It went through seven different phases I’m not even kidding. This is the Chosen One™. I had such a blast writing this. I loved working on it, and I hope you love it, too. Thank you for 1k, and I hope this shows my gratitude <33

also, quick facts: John Chambers is an actual fictional character! he’s a speedster who obtained his powers via the speedster formula. The more you know.

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lesbianshipsandvideogames  asked:

When the fuck did a math equation become a word that fucking turns people into Shazam?

3x2(9YZ)4A is a mantra used by Johnny Quick and Jesse Quick to gain access to the speed force.  Not all of the magic words I listed had anything to do with Shazam.  Many of them did.  Nonetheless I have spoken each of these words with the full conviction that it would work.  It has not at the time of this writing.

anonymous asked:

(For you) so If you eat bird seed does that mean you're billy batson?

lol.  Sunbelt Bakery Cereal is so tasty.  All those yummy nuts, seeds, oats, and dried fruit.  

I wish.  I have sincerely tried every magic word I’ve come across in comics. Shazam. Captain Marvel.  Chocolate Egg Cream. O mighty Isis.  Vlarem.  Kimota.  Thunder.  Ibac.  Sabbac.  Kaji Dha. Say You. So cool. Eternity. 3X2(9YZ)4A.  

I actually identify more with Jebediah of Canaan aka the Wizard Shazam.  His life sounds so sweet.  Have a lot of cool adventures when you’re young.  Have sex with a demon.  Then trap a dragon between a rock from Heaven and a rock from Hell.  At that point you just get to fucking chill in a chair for centuries guarding said rock.  Sweet.  Then you use the ghost of an orphan’s dead father to lure said orphan to an empty subway to take him to your magic rock.  Then you give that orphan powers and immediately get crushed by a boulder.  The orphan, his sister and friends can summon you as a ghost any time when they light a candle.  I’d sign up for that in a heartbeat.