Name: L Dream
Location: Baltimore, MD
Coming out age: 16
What was the hardest part of coming out?
I was most worried about my parents. I knew my mom wouldn’t be too bothered but my dad damn-near disowned me. After I confessed to my mom I called my dad (who lives in Ohio) to tell him, but my step-mom answered and I suddenly lost my nerve. I was brave enough to tell her but I just couldn’t figure out how to break it to my dad without disappointing him. Even though I told my step-mom not to say anything, she told him anyway…hmph! So that summer when I went to visit he pretty much laid into my lil ass. But I broke it down for him…I said: “Dad…I’m 17 years old. I’ll be 18 soon…a GROWN WOMAN. I think I’m old enough to know what’s right and wrong by now. And I’m old enough to make mistakes and learn from them on my own. If this is a mistake, let me handle it on my own terms. But I’ve been confused and unhappy for most of my life…and now that I feel like I’m on the verge of finding myself, you want me to go back to what I was. I’m sorry…I just can’t do that.”
In the end, he basically came to terms with it…he didn’t really have a choice though lol.
Do you still struggle with others due to your identity?
I used to. Especially when it came down to figuring out whether I was more of a stud or femme. I was always a tomboy and I can count on one hand how many times I actually put on a dress…but at one point I went through a really “boyish” phase, rockin baggy pants and oversized shirts…it confused the hell outta a lot of people. But as I got older I realized I was just masking my womanhood. Now I really don’t consider myself stud OR femme…I’m still a tomboy…but I have slightly feminine mentalities. All I know is I’m happy with who I am and FTW :)
What advice would you give to someone who fears coming out to their family and friends?
All I can say is be true to yourself…love who you are. If you love yourself then the rest will follow!