Tony Stark x Reader

September 8th 2015, that was when everything changed…That’s when I changed.

Flashback-, September 8th 2015

“Hey, Red, think you can help Wanda out?” Tony asked as he flew down next to me, and knocking out one of the guards I was fighting . I rolled my eyes at the nickname he’d given me (it was all because my hair was bright red) and nodded, as I began to run over to the building where Wanda was, she was trying to control a fire that had started. I was an Avenger, my powers were invisibility, telekinesis (similar to Wanda) and mind reading. I ran to Wanda’s side assisting her with the fire and that’s when I heard this voice in my head screaming ‘help’, I looked around and saw a little girl standing by the window of the burning building.

“Y/N, don’t, we need to put this fire out” Wanda said, obviously seeing the girl.

“Wanda I can’t just leave her there” I replied, as I ran towards the building, the girls voice getting louder and louder in my head.

When I finally got to the room the girl was in, I saw a hydra agent holding a gun to the girls head…She was a child…She was just a child and he was going to kill her.

“Let her go” I shouted over the crackle of the flames. The hydra agent just laughed as he pushed the girl away and directed the gun towards me. I dodged the bullets that he was firing and went invisible and punched him a few times until he was unconscious. I ran over to the little girl who was in the corner of the room.

“It’s okay, it’s okay you’re safe now” I whispered to her as she hugged me

“You’re my favourite avenger…I knew you’d save me” she whispered, causing me to smile as I picked her up as I stood up and that’s when I heard the sound of the gun, making me jump. But iI felt no pain, and that’s when it clicked. The girl that I was carrying had been shot…Her body was limp as I lied it on the ground…She’d been shot in the head…Rage filled my body as I ran over to the hydra agent beating the absolute shit out of him.

“Looks like you couldn’t save her after all” the hydra agent said as blood ran from his mouth, his comment caused me to hit him again until I was stopped by Tony as he pulled me away from the hydra agent and flew me out of the building.

The guilt that I felt was unimaginable….she was just a child, she didn’t deserve to die. I constantly replayed everything that happened that day in my head, wondering if there was something I could have done differently, if I’d have been faster..Or a better fighter..Would things have been​ different, could I have saved her life?

3moths later-time skip

It’s been three months since the incident and I’ve changed so much, I’m rarely sleeping and when I do it’s only for a short time before the event of September 8th replays in my head. The words of the hydra agents always echoing in my head, the look of the girl when she died engraved in my memory. I also began to drink…And I don’t mean a few drinks…I began to drink, heavily, because it helped me to forget for a few hours. When I was with the other Avengers I acted like I was fine, I pretended to be happy and they all believed me, except for Tony. Tony had known me the longest, we’d met when we were in college (well when I was in college..He was always dropping in and out). He knew me better than anyone, and he could tell when I was acting.

All of the Avengers had gone to bed, leaving me alone, so I decided to grab a bottle of whiskey and pour myself a glass (the first of many)

“Mind if I join?” I heard Tony say as he knelt against the wall, I said nothing as I poured him a glass. He looked at me, it was as if he was planning what to say.

“What happened to you, Red?” He asked after he downed his drink.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Tony, I’m fine” I stated, looking down at my glass.

“Y/N” he sighed, as he walked closer to me “I’ve known you long enough to know one thing, that when you say you’re fine, you’re really not fine.” He stated now standing in front of me.”I also know that you keep drinking, I can smell it on your breath, and the black circles under your eyes tell me that you haven’t been sleeping either..” he finished, and I could feel his gaze on me.

“Talk to me, Red, what happened?” He whispered. And that’s when I broke down, I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. Within seconds Tony had me in his arms rubbing my back and  trying to calm me down.

“I-it was my f-f-fault” I sobbed into his chest as he pulled me closer. “She died b-because of me” I continued.

“Who did?” Tony whispered as he kissed the top of my head.

“That little girl in Poland… I tried to save her, but I-I wasn’t quick enough” I saw realisation fill Tony’s face as he remembered that day.

“That’s why you were beating the crap out of that agent” he said, I just nodded trying to stop crying.

“And you’ve been drinking to try and forget?” He asked, again I just nodded.

“Oh, Y/N, why didn’t you talk to me?” He asked, a hint of pain filling his voice. I just shrugged

“I didn’t want to bother you,” I whispered.

“Y/N, you wouldn’t have bothered me at all, I’d do anything for you, you know that.” He whispered into my hair as he held me closer.

“I just feel so guilty” I mumbled.

“You have nothing to be guilty for Y/N, none of it was your fault, you tried to save her from a burning building, you weren’t to know that there was a hydra agent there” He said looking directly into my eyes, I tried to avoid his gaze by moving my head to the side, but then one of his fingers lightly grabbed my chin, causing me to look at him.

“I know you blame yourself for what happened but it wasn’t your fault, you’re an amazing avenger and even more amazing person; you have such a big heart and you’re so kind and caring to everyone, so don’t punish yourself, when you have nothing to punish yourself for” he whispered, and it’s at that point I realised how close our lips were, i could feel his breath against mine. He looked at me for a second, then at my lips and then back at me, as if he was asking for permission. I nodded slightly and before I knew it his lips were on mine, it was a soft, delicate kiss, but full of passion. Both of his hands came up to my face, cupping both of my cheeks as he pulled away from the kiss.

“No more punishing yourself, baby girl, if you need to talk I’ll always be here,” he said as he kissed me again.

“I love you Red, I have done since college" he whispered against my lips.

And for the first time in three months, I smiled, a proper smile (not a fake one) as I said the words,

“I love you too Tony.”

(Word count=1,286)

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