BTS Fake Texts Masterlist ☁︎

Send me some Requests! ↠ Request ☾

Please read this before requesting! ↠ Rules!

Personal Favourites = ⚉

In order from oldest - newest

All The Boys

 When they text you when you’re in the same room/near them 

The members try and get you to confess to Yoongi 1 | 2 

♡ The members try and get you to confess to Namjoon 

The members try and get you to confess to Taehyung 1 | 2 

The members try and get you to confess to Jungkook 1 | 2 

Song Lyric Prank Maknae Line | Hyung Line 

You’re spending time with Got7 Maknae Line | Hyung Line 

They accidently confess Maknae Line | Hyung Line

Telling Yoongi you’re pregnant 

The boys make fun of you for accidently sexting another member ⚉

Accidentally text them saying you’re pregnant Maknae Line | Hyung Line RM + JH / SG + JN ⚉

Kim Seokjin (Jin)

Jin helps you study

Jealous Jin 1 | 2 | 3

Min Yoongi (Suga)

The members try and get you to confess to Yoongi 1 | 2 

☾ Jealous Yoongi 

 Talking about Holly

Friends to lovers 

Yoongi wants you back after a breakup 

Telling Yoongi you’re pregnant

Jung Hoseok (J-Hope)

Hoseok catches you singing

Everyday texts with best friend Hoseok 

☼ Hosoek misunderstands when he sees you buying a ring 

Kim Namjoon (RapMonster)

 The members try and get you to confess to Namjoon 

 Namjoon comforting you 

The boys make fun of you for accidently sexting another member 

Park Jimin

✩ Christmas texts with Jimin

 Jimin Is distant 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

✩ Everyday texts with Jimin ft Drunk Jimin

Enemies to lovers 

✩ Best Friend Jimin has a crush on you 1 | 2 | 3 

Kim Taehyung (V) 

Everyday texts with Taehyung 

The members try and get you to confess you Taehyung 1 | 2 

Confessing to Taehyung (Continuation of Jungkook finds out Taehyung likes you)

 You surprise Taehyung with a new cat 

Taehyung wants you back after a breakup 

Jeon Jungkook 

Jungkook finds out Taehyung likes you ⚉ 

Everyday texts with Jungkook 

The members try and get you to confess to Jungkook 1 | 2 

Friends to lovers 

Trying to convince Jungkook he looks like a bunny

Bf Jungkook comforting you ⚉

Jungkook wants you back after a breakup ⚉

A prank on Jungkook goes wrong

Jungkook brings up an insecurity 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | Angsty Ending | Fluffy Ending 

Jungkook and you go on a vacation

The boys make fun of you for accidently sexting another memeber

Masterlist ♥︎

Im Unterricht:
  • Meine Lehrerin: "Wisst ihr wie sich Personen die sexuell missbraucht wurden fühlen?"
  • *keiner meldet sich.*
  • Ich: "Sie fühlen sich unter Druck gesetzt. Vielleicht weil sie erpresst werden. Außerdem schämen sie sich. Denn wer gibt schon freiwillig zu, dass der jenige es durchmachen musste. Die meisten haben auch Schuldgefühle. Sie geben sich die Schuld daran, das es passiert ist. Für diejenigen kommt es gar nicht in frage das sie dafür vielleicht gar nichts können. Sie haben ganz einfach schreckliche Schuldgefühle."
  • *Meine Lehrerin starrte mich für mindestens 3min. geschockt an. Sie sah aus als wollte sie etwas zu mir sagen, hielt aber innen und wandtete sich doch von mir ab.*
Glitch In The Matrix Stories #3

Too Much Tea

This takes place on a weekday night about two years ago. My friend and I are juniors in college, hanging out in the common room of my dorm (no drugs, no alcohol, not tired). After we decide we’ve done enough homework for one lifetime, we go to the CVS down the street, more out of boredom rather than hunger. We get there and notice there’s a 2/$1 sale on Arizona Iced Tea. 

Since Arizona Iced Tea is the nectar of the gods and since it’s such a bargain, we buy two. I get the raspberry flavor because why would you get something else. My friend is being “adventurous” and gets the grapeade one (even though everyone knows anything grape flavored tastes like Children’s Motrin). I’m a supportive friend so whatever. We buy our Arizona Iced Teas and walk out.

Once outside, my friend is so eager to try his new grapeade that he opens it and in the process, breaks off the little metal tab on his can. I laugh. He puts it in his pocket. I ask him how the grapeade tastes. He says it’s fine. I know it’s horrible. I open my raspberry iced tea and stick to the true gospel.

We make it back to my common room, and watch some TV (…on Youtube, on my laptop). We’re watching some quality entertainment aka Maury, sipping on our Arizona Iced Tea. It’s like an average Tuesday night. And then at one point, I go to sip my raspberry iced tea, and I just stare at it for a while. My friend looks over (you know something is wrong if someone can pull away their eyes from a Maury episode) and says, “What’s wrong?”

I’m just staring at my iced tea can, trying to figure out why I’m staring at it. I say, “I don’t know. Something’s just different.” And then the big gaping hole in my can hits me. “Oh I just don’t remember breaking the tab off my can.”

We look at my can and the metal tab is gone. Huh. Ok. And my friend is like “Oh yeah I did that to mine too, remember?” He picks up his grapeade and the metal tab to his can… is there. HUH. OK.

We both remember him ripping off the metal tab on the grapeade outside the CVS. He even reaches in his pocket and pulls out the metal tab that allegedly had broken off his can. But now his can is cured and mine is the one with the missing tab. We are both stunned.

The metal tab fits onto my can as well as any broken metal tab can, but we are both certain that we never switched drinks (like I would be caught dead holding grapeade), I didn’t break my tab off at any point, and I was staring at my can for so long because something had clearly changed in the last 10 seconds.

We have no explanation for this. We laughed it off at the time so we understand when other people laugh at us. But this really minor, seemingly trivial event really freaked us out. This will henceforth be known as The Great Arizona Iced Tea Switch Glitch of Late 2013.

Credits to: waytoomuchtea

Horoscope On Radio Told My Mom She Was Pregnant With Me

My mom told me this story. When she was 32 she was tired and nauseous for a week or so and thought she pregnant as my parents were trying for a baby.

She took a test, negative. Went to the doctor, blood tests again not only showed she wasn’t pregnant, but going through early menopause. She was devastated.

Shortly after her visit with the doctor, she was at home cleaning the house. She was listening to the radio (this is way back in 1981), and it said, “Capricorn, don’t worry, you’re pregnant”.

She thought to herself, “well that’s ridiculous, why would they say that to every Capricorn listening?”

Not long after, another trip to the doctor confirmed she was indeed pregnant.

Credits to: ranna35

I’ve Either Been Drugged, I’m Losing My Sanity, Or I’m Literally Teleporting - My Most Profound “Glitch” Yet

So, I’m a security guard working 12 hour shifts midnight to noon on a large 3-building campus. I’ve had one or two weird things happen before, but never anything like this.

At 2:31 am I was walking back from a patrol in another building when all of the sudden I got this pang of electricity. It felt like I got electrocuted; I stopped in my tracks, the wind was knocked out of me, and everything was buzzing. It was like a jolt of energy was sent up my spine, and it felt like getting tased in the back while standing in front of a massive sub woofer.

I didn’t know what to think about this. I assumed it was like when you turn your head the wrong way and you get that twinge in your neck, but it was like that for the whole body. I moved on feeling bewildered.

Later, at 4:27am, I was outside walking the perimeter of two of the three office buildings on campus. I had 3 minutes left on my podcast and decided to take another loop to let it finish before I got back to my post.

23 seconds later I all of the sudden became aware that I was somewhere I shouldn’t be if I had only been walking 23 seconds; I had almost completed the loop - something I know for a fact takes about 3 minutes at average walking speed. I’ve been doing it every night for more than 6 months.

I know it was exactly 23 seconds because I instantly paused the podcast, and I remember at what point in the podcast I had made the decision to take another loop, and I paused it the moment I realized something was wrong.

At this point I’m completely bewildered and confused and convinced I’m going crazy. I know I wasn’t walking backwards, I didn’t change directions, and there are no shortcuts I could have taken. I even went back and timed how long it takes to do the loop at a normal walking pace (~3min 20 sec), and powerwalking/light jog (~1 min 45 sec).

At 4:45 am I drew the last straw. I scanned my ID badge to enter the building and go back to my post, and stopped to go to the bathroom on the way. When I came out of the bathroom, I SHIT YOU NOT I WAS IN A DIFFERENT BUILDING.

My mind was literally blown. I was frozen with existential dread. I could not/can not logically accept what my senses were/are telling me. Bewildered, I walked out of the building and into the correct one I was in when I walked into the bathroom.

I was telling myself that I just wasn’t paying attention and walked into the wrong bathroom. Then I realized that the bathrooms are completely different, and wanted to confirm.

I walked back to the other building, when my mind proceeded to blow itself AGAIN. MY ID BADGE DOES NOT OPEN THE DOORS TO THIS BUILDING. There is a separate badge that is kept in a drawer at my post that the guards share to patrol this particular building. There is no way I could have accidentally walked into this building; it would have rejected my ID and the doors would have remained locked.

After I go back and grab the right badge, I confirm that the two bathrooms are a completely different layout, and opposite color. I’ve never used the bathroom in the “glitchy” building before; it’s brown and yellow with wooden counters, whereas the one I use about 8 times per shift (16 times per week, 64 times a month, ~384 times total) is two different shades of blue with marble counters. They look completely different and I’m fairly certain I remember the bathroom I used being blue with marble.

So, yeah. This event is by far the most profound “paranormal-ish” event I have experienced in my life as of yet. I can’t think of a logical scenario that explains all three experiences I had, other than I’m going insane.

Credits to: cyntrix

Reoccurring Dream Character Showing Up In Family And Friend’s Dreams As Well

So this all started last summer I believe, when I had an abnormally vivid dream. In it, I was attending a large conference I’d been too many times IRL with a bunch of my friends and their families. I was standing in a long line for either a book signing or food (to this day I can’t remember which) and stood behind one of my friend’s dad. 

Then, as I was standing there at the end of the line, this guy comes up and stands behind me. I remember the details of what he looked like in my mind so clearly I could probably describe him to a police sketch artist and get a completely accurate image. The short version I’d give is that he was like a really good looking suburban dad. He was pretty tall, just slightly taller than I am, with blonde, combed back hair and really clear and hard blue eyes. His facial features were very sharp and angular, and he had thinner than average lips and a sharp nose. He was wearing a red, button down plaid shirt, which was one of the first things that caught my eye. 

The most distinctive thing about him though was his presence. Calling the feeling that I got when he walked up “uneasy” would be vastly understating the deeply unsettling nature of his presence. I don’t remember much of what happened in the dream after that, because I left the line in a hurry and woke up not long after.

Over the next three or four days, I had two more dreams with this character in them. In one, I was browsing my phone and I happened to look up at my window and see him standing outside, and in the other, I saw him on the news, the reporter saying he was working with some sinister entity or organization. This alone would have been enough to weird me out, but the weirdness doesn’t end there.

One day, my good buddy and I were talking about dreams, and I happened to mention that I had a really vivid dream about this conference, which he had also attended. He responded that he had also recently had a dream about the conference. He then began to recite back to me the exact dream I had dreamED two and a half weeks before. 

About halfway through, I started confirming details with him, like the line, the dad standing in front, and the weird guy in the plaid shirt. My friend starts getting more worked up as we go back and forth confirming details of the dream and this guy’s appearance, which he also vividly remembered. He tells me that before he had this particular dream that we’d apparently both had, he had seen the guy before in another dream, and also felt really uneasy about him. 

His previous dream had involved him helping a girl escape from a trafficking ring, and at one point in the dream, the man in the plaid shirt had showed up and appeared to be the head of the ring or at least involved with it. We were both pretty freaked out by this, but the weirdest part was yet to come.

About two months later, I was talking with my mom. She was telling me about this bizarre dreams he had the previous night, in which she was fleeing from a tornado that was making it’s way towards our house. She told me how in the dream, she had gone downstairs and hid in the closet, only for the wall to be ripped off by the tornado, providing a view of the driveway. She described how when the tornado got to the edge of the driveway, it suddenly began to spin out and dissipate, twisting and transforming into a large mangled metal girder that fell to the ground. 

Then, she said, the next thing that happened was really vivid and unsettling. She said that the metal stood up and turned into a man with a plaid shirt. I got chills when she told me this, and I started quizzing her on details. Everything was exactly the same as I had remembered. Sharp features, cold eyes, blonde hair, red plaid shirt.

I have never seen anyone matching this description before in real life. I never told my mom or friend or anyone else about this guy before they told me about their dreams, and they were both legitimately shocked to hear that I had seen the same character, whom I have taken to calling Plaidshirt Guy.

Credits to: BookwyrmBOTPH

sluttymonkey  asked:

heard raised voices, went to till to see old dude screaming at 16yo cashier for giving him the cigarettes he asked for (he got the name wrong but she should have been a mind reader) offered an exchange which he accepted but complained about the 3mins it took and kept making a fuss. He must've had time to spare though because he decided to go for the classic 'this customer service is abysmal, let me speak to whoever's in charge' look him dead in the eye and say 'you already are'. It felt good.

His bitching took way longer than the mix up did. He could have been out the door and destroying his lungs half a pack in by the time he finished his tantrum. -Abby


~ my maxes. 😘
Hip Abductions:
Hip Adductions (5):
Barbell Squats:
Romanian Deadlifts:

First time back in a while so will gradually increase again,
I was deadlifting 80kg not long ago but think it’s more a *self doubt* thing instead of muscle loss…
Also, I did 30mins on the treadmill (I’ve not done more than 3mins on one since last year!!)

Any who, YAY 🎉🎊🎉 made it to the gym. 😊💕
Thanks again @fit-and-sound 💖

 (fun fact: my life doesn't revolve around voltron, it’s just lance has been my focus lately, but WITH THE MANGA UPDATE AGGHHHH)

(okay crappy art but I did it in like 20min, here me out)

Hinata: I don't care if she has an owner, I’m keeping her.

Kenma: That’s called stealing.

Yama: So you don’t wanna keep her?

Kenma: Oh, no. We should keep her.

College AU where Hinata, Yamaguchi, and Kenma are roommates and very smol. So one day they find a lost cat and all agree to keep her.

BUT turns out she is a lost cat who happens to belong to Kuroo. He and his flatmates, Kageyama and Tsukishima, notice she’s missing and go crazy looking for her. Only to find her w/ some smol cute guys wearing cringe worthy gay shirts sweaters and coats. But there cute so… 

(I didn’t even try with Kuroo’s hair, also why the fuck does this 3min sketch look better than the 20min sketch??)

They ask for the cat back but flirt it up thinking the small bois will blush and stuff, but jokes on them. The smoll ones throw it back at them x10 harder

Kuroo Probably (to Kenma obvi): so I couldn’t help but notice your guys tops, you guys looking for someone?

Hinata, interrupting: nah, we got each other if we need anything.(he’s implying stuff)

All the tall guys thinking: holy shit ////

But they convince the small ones to exchange numbers so they could visit the cat (her name is Gato btw) which makes the boys a bit too happy

(Also I’m making Yama short to go with the theme, fucking fight me)

btws its Kuroo w/ Kenma, Tsukkiyama w/ Yamaguchi, Kegayama W/ Hinata 

honestly @u fu

I’m so fucking pissed.

I worked a 7hr retail shift today at a fucking shoe store.

At 5min till closing our manager closes 3 out of 4 of our doors, and dims the light to signal people to leave.

At 3min till close FOUR groups of people waltzed right in. Like did you not get the hint when THREE doors were locked, the lights were half out, and my manager was standing right at the door with her keys ??

Three of the groups left real quick after being told we closed in two minutes.

When we did close I had to go over to this lady and her daughter and tell them to very politely SCRAM and get the fuck out. She’s like okok in a pissy voice and went up to the register to pay. I’m like w/e and go to check her out so we can close but right AFTER i total everything and i tell her, her damage she sends her daughter to go look at our H U G E wall of stockings bc ‘hey dont u need stockings for school’ = the first ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME MOMENT

I very politely glare at her and i’m like are you all set? in my firm i’m annoyed as fuck but i kinda don’t wanna loose my job voice and the mom is like can u help her find her size. mind u our stocking wall has over 15 brands of stockings, approx like 25 colors of stockings and some colors have like 10 shades, and like 75 different styles. it’s a huge fucking stocking wall. = the second ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME MOMENT

(read: this is now 9 minutes after close on christmas eve)

so i go over and i’m like wtf do u want in my polite voice and she’s like this in this size so i’m like ok and literally find it in 2 minutes when she couldn’t find it in like 5

so we go back to the register and the mom snatches it and is literally like FUCK NO in russian and tries to have this discussion about how stupid i am that i got the wrong tights but fuck them I’m Ukrainian and can understand everything they say :’’’’’’’’’’’’) good thing i didn’t have my name tag on bc they would have known hahahaha = the third are you FUCKING KIDDING ME MOMENT

so they’re arguing and i’m like is this it? and the mom turns and goes STOP BEING SO RUDE AND RUSHING US and i give her the tilted head snarl face an I’m like we closed 15 minutes ago

(read: this is now like 15 minutes after closing time)

so they’re standing there arguing in russian about me and the socks and my manager finally gets po’d enough that she comes over and is like can i help you find anything we have been closed for 15 minutes and i need to close the store. and the lady starts to say something changes her mind mid sentances and then goes THIS IS THE WORST CUSTOMER SERVICE I’VE EVER EXPERIENCE AND IT’S CHRISTMAS. YOU’D THINK YOU COULD NICELY HELP ME ON CHRISTMAS, IT’S YOUR job. =read fourth are you FUCKING KIDDING ME MOMENT

 My manager literally stares at her and finally goes we closed 17 minutes ago. We’re are now working on our own time and we want to go home to spend time with our families on the holiday. This lady literally glares at her and goes but you’re here, what is the difference if I shop here until you leave or not. You are getting my money if I stay = read fifth are you FUCKING KIDDING ME MOMENT

anyway long story short she finally pays for her shoes and some tights her daughter picked out while her mom yelled at us…. and tbh i should have bit my tongue but as she was grabbing her bag handles I told the lady that our website is open 24/7 with the same price as if she would order the shoes in store (aka what she wanted to do, but dry anal fuck me if I was going to ring her in-store purchase and THEN open up the online ordering system and order her shoes for her (a 5~ minute process) 35 minutes after our store closed) or she could come back at 9am Monday when we reopen in Ukrainian but the fucking look on that bitch’s face was priceless  because in that moment she knew that i knew every piece of shit she just talked about me right in front of my face. 

anyway^2 moral of the story is DON’T BE A DOUCHE AND LEAVE WHEN STORES CLOSE


        ( About Jackson’s Condition So Far | 170211-12 )

*Official accounts Updates:

Tencent Midea official account posted
“Our Jackson. Get better soon (Hug) Take more rest (hug) (hug)”

Who is the Murderer “Hearts ache for my Ga,must take care of yourself,always reminding fans of their health,Jackson Wang get better soon…”

Official Go Fridge account  "Biggest wish is,for Go Fridge family members to all be well.Our Ga get better soon" Pic “Take care of yourself”

Jackson Wang trending 6th place on Weibo
Many fans expressing their sadness and showing support

**Fan Accounts :

Jackson’s sick so he left photo op, but for Ahgases he came back for fan sign but after starting 2-3mins he vomited  and left. The Chinese fans who came from China to see Jackson was all crying He vomited in front of the fans during fan sign

He collapse from the chair….
In the middle of fan sign, Jackson fell on the table, couldn’t get up and like that he returned to the back

***Jackson before the fanmeeting 170311 


****During the FanMeeting


Please watch “Women that you wanna hear every Friday” tomorrow too ✌︎

As always, thank you for the comments everyone 🙇
I do read them~!!


Lailatul Qadr - Important Facts

Here are some important facts about Lailatul Qadr, since we’re now in the last 10 days of Ramadhan.

What is it? Lailatul Qadr means ‘the night of Power’

When is it? We’ve been told to 'search’ for Lailatul Qadr so we don’t specifically know when it is. Some believe it’s on the 27th, and although it may be, we don’t know for sure. It is a night of the last 10 days. It’s more likely to be one of the odd nights, and it’s also more likely to be one of the nights from the second half of the last ashra (last 10 days). So we search for it in those last 10 days and try to make dua and extra prayers to make the most of it.

What’s so special about it? Lailatul Qadr is better than 1000 months - so the reward of your actions are hugely multiplied. The command/instruction of Allah is sent down in this night. 

What do I do if I feel it is that night? The Prophet pbuh was asked this question by his wife, and his reply to her was to recite this dua:

اللْهُمَّ إِنَّكَ عَفُوٌّ تُحِبُّ الْعَفْوَ فَاعْفُ عَنِّي

Allahumma innaka `Afuwwun TuHibbul `Afwa Fa`fu `Annii.

It means 'O Allah, you are the Forgiver, You love to forgive, so forgive me’

We are seeking forgiveness from Allah and protection from the hell fire. If we do this every night, surely, by the will of Allah we will catch that night!

Watch the below videos for brief talks about this topic that will explain the essentials.

Watch Main Video - Quick explanation about Lailatul Qadr & info (only about 3mins long)

Watch 2nd Video - For more info and a deeper understanding of the dua above. Amazing video (only about 10mins long)


anonymous asked:

gav, fam, o costume analyzer supreme, please, help me with a quandary: how in the hell are they indicating rank & eng/comm/sci in st:d? bc i can see that michelle yeoh has gold shoulder bits & smg as her no. 1 doesn't, but!!! a) everyone else has the same amount of panels & shoulder braid (as far as i can see) & b) doug jones has silver panels & one of the helmsmen might have bronze instead of gold, with c) no variation beyond!! pls is there s/t i'm missing from 3min of footage help me obi-juan

I think gold is command, silver is science, and bronze is security/comms. HOWEVER, i don’t think ranks are visible on the uniforms, which is a weird design choice?? the captain has gold shoulders, but i can’t see rank insignias on anyone else’s uniforms.

EDITED TO ADD: actually, i think ranks are signified on the starfleet badges! so you have to look pretty closely, but it’s there. they have little pips, with (i think) four dots for Captain.