As I prepare for motherhood I cannot believe how incredibly harsh our society is on new first time moms! There are so many incredibly insincere people, majority of them women, criticizing and shaming other moms because of their parenting choices. It’s unbelievable how this culture is so UNSUPPORTIVE of motherhood! People are so quick to say, “you’re doing this wrong”, and chastising moms based on certain choices they make. So what? Let that mom raise her children vegan, her children aren’t being held back by anything! Let that mom co-sleep with her child, those years slip by so fast that when you blink they will be off on their own! You can’t get those years back. Let that mom choose to educate her child at home, there is no rule that they can only learn in schools, & by a teacher (this is coming from an educator herself AKA me). Let that mom choose what benefits her and her child’s needs! No child is the same. Like a fingerprint, each child is unique and different.
Stop chastising moms for using cloth diapers, or deciding on regular diapers! Stop telling other moms that letting your child cry to sleep at night is bad, or that caving in to cuddle them back to sleep will “set them up for failure”! These opinions are JUST OPINIONS that these moms who work hard to keep everything together just do not need unless she asks specifically for advice.
This not only goes for parenting, the same goes for pregnancy and your birth plan. Choose what you want. Epidural no epidural. A hospital versus a birthing center or birthing at home. We all have one goal: to bring a healthy baby into the world! Some choices resonate well with others but you cannot shame a new mom for what she chooses! She makes her choices based on what is best for her and her lifestyle.
Do not assume that she has not done any research on what she chooses! If you are concerned about her choices, why does it affect you? Are you going to be raising her child?
We know it’s hard to refrain from giving out negative opinions but the carelessness of those negative opinions are like ripples in the ocean. It starts small, but eventually spreads to the shore. Be mindful of your words, what you think, what you say, and how you act. If you want to give advice or your opinion, I was taught by my boss from a job I had when I was 18 years old that stuck with me forever which is to…
Ask the person, “would you like some helpful advice?” If the mom says “no thank you” then please RESPECT her answer. And be OK with her response. No one was born to be a parent expert right away, it’s all instinct and a learning experience.
So if a mom is excited to share something about her life with you in a photo or blog post, be happy and encouraging because she was proud to share it with you!
We need to be one sisterhood, one tribe, encouraging and assisting when asked for help. If you spread love and helpfulness it will truly change our world and the way we see things. 🙏🏻💫🌙☄️💖
Be kind, be gentle, and be loving, always.