but really i’m just tired…

tired of feeling like i’ll never be good enough

tired of stressing over school

tired of my parents

tired of constantly being let down

tired of over-thinking

and just tired of feeling. 

i don’t want to be here anymore. 


The mark of 11/11/11. 

So like I told you awhile ago, I had my ears pierced. Both of them. So here’s what they look like. Very awesome, aren’t they? Yes, they are still hurting though the pain’s tolerable. And yes, they are still pinkish-red in color.

I haven’t tried touching them yet since it was indicated in their “Piercing Code” which the woman gave me earlier, that I can’t touch them for a couple of days. I have to clean them everyday but I can’t touch them. How is that even possible? Plus this will take me 6 weeks of waiting for it to be fully healed before I can finally replace the earrings. :)

Scarcity of conscience and guilt..

Our Father, Who is in heaven, Holy is Your Name;

Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread,and forgive us our sins,

as we forgive those who sin against us;

and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.

I know what I saw and I believe that, what I did was the right thing to do.

I just can’t help but feel miserable for the alleged suspect’s family particularly his two children who are also studying in San Beda and are certainly going to be affected by all of what’s happened today. Perhaps he really had no intentions in getting that envelope from the start however, since the situation got worse already, he needed to protect himself by acting innocently and contradicting every accusation against him until the end. But no, he was wrong about that…

The police called me on my phone awhile ago. He was asking if I’m prepared to give them a statement concerning the case that the victim had filed against the suspect. To be honest, I was in fact undecided at first. I didn’t know if I should stand for what is right and tell them what I actually saw. I was aware that this occurrence might get me into huge trouble nonetheless; I still chose to help out. Why? First of all, I realized that if the same incident happened to me, I would really wish for someone to do the same thing for me: Stand up for what is right. That money which we pay for our tuition fees are corresponding to all of the hard works made by our parents just to send us into a prestigious school. That amount of money can’t be picked up from the streets, found in a pile of junk nor grown from trees. He should know that as a father. He wouldn’t wish for the same unpleasant incident to happen to any of his children. Second, I know to myself that if I did nothing during that time, I will be guilty for the rest of my existence for not having the backbone to stand for what is right. Third, the victim was a Bedan. Sino-sino pa ba ang magtutulungan kundi kapwa Bedista lang.

I really hope that everything will be okay soon. I feel terrible about all that’s happening. Either side, there are people who are going to suffer just because of other person’s fault. I pray to God that he will enlighten those minds that are too fogged up with temptations and selfishness. I don’t think that that money will be returned anymore. I just hope that this will serve as a lesson to everyone. We wouldn’t want Karma to bang on our door and ask us for payments with interest. Now, that’s something to be frightened about.

Banchetto Wish Lanterns 11/11/11

I wanna go here too but I’m still not sure. I think there will be a lot of people who are going to attend this event which is not good for me since I hate crowded places. LOL. Serious. It really makes me dizzy and suffocated. I’ll think about it though. I heard that you’ll need to reserve your own lantern. GAH. Still undecided, why is my life always like this?? Anyway, I’ll inform you guys if I’ve decided to go or not.. :)

Just got home, people! :) Had a blast awhile ago during the INDULGENCE party in at Area05, Tomas Morato. Super duper fun! There were lots of people who came from different schools but I’m super proud for all my fellow Bedans who came.

All of us enjoyed the party and you can really see that Bedans are different as compared to other schools. There’s this angas factor especially with Bedan guys that you can notice them even from afar.

Also, Bedans are all pretty and handsome even without exerting any damn effort. Well, everyone who attended awhile ago were all good-looking but I don’t know.. It’s just different. Bedans really know how to stand-out without making papansin or making a fool of themselves in front of the whole crowd just to gain attention. Guys have their manners while girls know how to have fun with class.

Okay hold on.. I’m not saying all of these in behalf of the whole San Beda because this is just my opinion and this is just the way I see it. I support and love all the schools especially those located in Manila since we’re all neighbors. Hence, we consider everyone as family. Maybe this is because I am a Bedan that I am THIS proud of my Alma Mater. Well who’s not proud of theirs, right? :)

One thing I love about San Beda College is the way that they were able to preserve their traditions. You’re not a true Bedan if you didn’t experience this. To all the freshmen ‘11, I hope they’ll see this activity as a start of being part of the Bedan community. Dalawa lang advice ko sainyo:

  • Wag maangas
  • Wag pikon

Just enjoy everything and have fun. Ganun lang yan eh. Iwan nyo muna sa bahay/dorm nyo yung “pride” nyo kasi trust me, mauubusan ka nyan during the whole activity. Paka-saya lang para masaya tayong lahat. :)

“Ut In Omnibus Glorificetur Deus”