365 days of writing: day 51
Day 51: diverging paths
I’m writing this entry this morning only because I have things to take care of before my best bro comes over so I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to write anything later on. Due to how rough the start of my weekend was I don’t feel like I benefited as much from the long weekend as I would have liked to since only two of the days were actually peaceful. I also feel like even though I only work three days a week now it’s actually more exhausting because I have to work at the warehouse which is quite a lot nosier as I mentioned before and it really makes me realize that my hyperacusis really is a nerve issue despite it presenting in ear pain.
Oh well, hopefully today will be relaxing for the most part. I do have to deal with my parents this morning since I have to get a blood test, the one I was supposed to get Friday so I’m not looking forward to that but I hope we can get it over with early so I can come back here and take care of what I need to do to get ready for the week. They are just little things that don’t take that long to do but I’m the sort of person that likes to get stuff done so it’s off my mind and I can just chill.
I’m still annoyed that it took me so long to recover from the interaction with my parents that I was zapped of all my energy and didn’t draw anything I intended to draw and I was kind of left with wishing the weekend wasn’t almost over. Oh well, the next weekend will come and I can do some things then I guess. I hope things improve with my parents since mom is finally starting to recover from her pretty heavy-duty dental surgery. I do hope this means we have some chance of getting along but it’s hard to say with my parents because they do often seem set in their ways.
I also regret that I haven’t really worked on my stories at all other than talking to my best bro about them. That does help me though because it’s kind of like I’m reading my thoughts out loud and hearing them while at the same time getting feedback about how it sounds from another person so it is helpful but talking about writing is different from actually writing. I think I will be more open to exploring different pathways in for example my Zelda-based story since my best bro did like the idea I had. I basically have an event where in the canon one of the characters’ interference with how his premonition foresaw events caused certain circumstances to be avoided (being very vague to avoid spoiling my story to peeps) and I thought… “I wonder how it would go if he decided not to interfere despite his fears or for some reason he couldn’t.” Basically I want to see exactly what he was trying to avoid and if my characters can still overcome the obstacle or how it will affect character development.
I will probably still keep the first idea as canon and if I like the second idea I might just keep it as a sort of alternate ending if you will. Since this event is pretty much the planned climax of the story anyway. That’s kind of what Kay and I did anyway when we were first experimenting with ideas back when we roleplayed them out. I think that this is congruent enough with the message I’m going for anyway so maybe if I get enough confidence in sharing the story I will release both pathways to see which people seem to like more. My main chara Luc has changed a lot since I originally made him nearly 20 years ago and with that so has his psyche. I do feel like he’s a lot more complex and less black and white than he was at the very beginning.
I really like who he’s developed into. He and the other mains are such precious children and I love them all but I do realize their adventure will ultimately put them through a lot of hardships and shape them in both good and bad ways but I think that’s how an adventures is supposed to be right? I just hope people will be patient enough with me using a sort of cliché plot point in the beginning. I am going to try to make it seem not cringy though I’m sure I will have to edit how I explain things later on. I should also try to write a timeline for my other stories because it really helped me get an idea of where I was going with my Zelda-related story.
I think I should try to do that this weekend at least a little bit and maybe that will help me gather more ideas for my stories. I was sort of thinking of dropping my Sonic idea with the Sonic characters as humans, I came up with it when I was 12 and it seems like it would have less of an audience now but I haven’t completely made up my mind. That one and the YGO based stories are the only ones I’ve seriously considered dropping and some of my other ideas are just on hiatus until I figure out what to do with them since they need some editing or my ideas have changed over the years.
I guess I’m done writing this entry for now since I don’t really know what else to say. Hopefully I’ll muster up the courage to write some more and like I mentioned in an earlier entry maybe just share it with my best bro at first and ease into sharing my stories with other people gradually so that my inner critic doesn’t get too wild. I also have to learn to discern truly constructive criticism versus the person just not really liking the idea or it not working for them. I think when I was younger than was harder for me to do and I got upset more easily.