36 hours

Today is the 147th anniversary of John Brown’s execution. In 1859, Brown led a raid on the federal armory at Harpers Ferry, to start a liberation movement among the slaves there. During the raid, he seized the armory; seven people were killed, and ten or more were injured. He intended to arm slaves with weapons from the arsenal, but the attack failed. Within 36 hours, Brown’s men had fled or been killed or captured by local pro-slavery farmers, militiamen, and U.S. Marines led by Robert E. Lee. He was tried for treason against the Commonwealth of Virginia, the murder of five men and inciting a slave insurrection.

Podfic Life Problems: Making Money with this Stuff

I have submitted eight professional audiobook auditions on the last 36 hours, in genres ranging from an adorable older lesbian romance, to a crockpot cookbook (and who knew they even MADE professional audiobooks of cookbooks?) As a result, I have not had a chance to edit the hour of Star Wars podfic I recorded, or finish the birthday present for a certain someone. Ah, well. At least it will hopefully result in money?

biaspile-lz  asked:

Since you wanted asks, I figured I'd send you one. Hi, I'm Lily. I hope you're well. I know this has been a really challenging time for you, and I hope it slows down after finals so you can get some rest. I've been really impressed by your work ethic. I gave up on my semester like weeks ago; it's a disaster. Incompletes all around here.

well hello lily, this is sweet of you but yeah it’s been indescribable, even if I managed to find the right words to do so no one would believe it haha oh well but yeah things should return back to normal in about 2 weeks more or less. I can’t wait to be back home and hold my cat I miss him

but omg don’t be impressed. it’s literally me crying for a solid chunk of the day, basically being in neutral doing stuff so I don’t even know what’s really happening, more crying, being up for 36 hours at a time, drafting an email to drop out, crying some more, trying sleeping 2 hours and forcing myself to somehow in some way do the work I need to do;; do not be impressed at all omg 

but don’t give up just yet! you’re almost done :) try to find something that will push you! you got this 

2

so, this fucking happened today. i have never in my entire life met someone so unbelievably humble and grounded; someone as talented, or beautiful, or perfect. his laugh and his smile and his eyes and his jawline are even more impressive i person, lemme tell you. that man smiles and i could curl up in his fucking dimples. 

i caught the 7am train into nyc after not sleeping bc of the sheer adrenaline, stood in the pouring rain with deanambroseofficial for over three hours, our boots filling up with rainwater and trying desperately not to look like drowned cats in our dorky little ponchos, and it was so, so worth it.

i haven’t told this story before but i feel like now that i’ve told dean himself, i’m ready to talk about it perhaps a bit more publicly. when i was 17, i was diagnosed with a heart condition, generalized anxiety, and depersonalization. all are very treatable, but it meant that for an indefinite amount of time, i couldn’t kickbox. and anyone who knows me knows that kickboxing is/was my entire fucking life. it gets me outta bed in the morning, and it gets me into bed sore, bruised, and happy at night. and all of sudden, it was gone while i went through treatment. 

eventually, losing kickboxing pushed me into a severe, severe depression. it was the only thing i had, the only thing i was crazy passionate about. i couldn’t get in the ring, i couldn’t step on the mat, i couldn’t do anything that i enjoyed; hell, most days i couldn’t even leave my house. so on those days when i couldn’t leave or when i was in the hospital, i watched kickboxing videos and indie wrestling videos. five years ago, i was sitting in a hospital hooked up to an ekg machine surfing youtube when a video popped up in a search– ’unbreakable jon moxley pre-match’. 

i watched it and a few things happened at once. 1.) i was entertained bc i mean, dean ambrose is a fucking gift to the wrestling world; 2.) i forgot i was in a hospital bed surrounded by beeping machinery and loaded up on anti-anxiety medications and anti-depressants; 3.) i felt alive and i felt like myself again for the first time in the year since my diagnoses. i started to remember who i was, what i was, how passionate i used to be, how spontaneous and fun i used to be before those diseases ruined my fucking life. 

after watching that video, and the dozens i marathon-ed that same day, i changed. something about him– his passion, his talent, his determination– sparked something in me. for the first time since my diagnosis, i started making progress. i started kinda clawing my way outta that dark place i let myself slip into and i swore i was going to get back into that ring and back onto that mat if it killed me. and soon, i will be.

it’s been five years since i first watched that video and i never imagined i’d have the opportunity to stand in front of him and thank him but today, i did. i walked right up to him and had him sign a screenshot of that same hwa video, which he did gratefully and he listened to my story and let me thank him and when i handed him a little thank you note, he smiled and stuck it in his pocket. we took these pictures and after, he practically whispered in my ear that he was happy i was better and that he was proud of me for getting back into my training. (he was sO CLOSE i almost passed out– his eyes are beautiful and i cannot get over his fucking jawline.) but goddamn, he said he was proud and i haven’t been able to say that part out loud bc i got home and just started sobbing bc that meant so. fucking. much.

but man, he is truthfully one of, if not the, most down to earth person i’ve ever met. he has this calming presence about him that i can’t really explain but i know i can’t be the only person to notice that today. sure, i almost lost my mind but he’s just such a warm person and he smells so nice and he’s so kind. 

if anyone ever tries to say that dean ambrose is anything but a wonderful, humble, calming, kind individual, i will personally fight them because he is a fucking gift and he deserves the entire world.