32 birthday


Today is my husband’s best friend’s 21st birthday. Here in the St. Louis area there’s a bar that plays live music and is super popular that literally everyone goes to on their 21st birthday, it’s basically a right of passage. Well we’re going tonight to eat and celebrate this guys 21st and I’m nervous people are going to judge a giant pregnant lady in a bar…. I shouldn’t care because I’m obviously not drinking or endangering my baby, but still. Judgmental stares make me nervous…

Inconvenient curses to put on people

When cursing people please remember the rule of three. this is mostly just for fun :)

1. May your mother come to talk to you, and then leave your door slightly ajar, so that you have to get up and close it.

2. May every sock you wear be slightly rotated, just enough for it to be uncomfortable.

3. May the chocolate chips in your cookies always turn out to be raisins.

4. May both sides of your pillow be warm.

5. May your article load that extra little bit as you’re about to click a link so you click an ad instead.

6. May you forever feel your cellphone vibrating in the pocket it’s not even in.

7. May you not be able to get an erection without thinking about Steve Buscemi

8. May you always get up from your computer with your headphones still attached.

9. May you always hear the last 5 seconds of your favorite song when getting into your car

10. May your life be as pleasant as you are.

11. May the tool you need RIGHT NOW disappear only to reappear when you use an inferior tool

12. May your chair produce a sound similar to a fart, but only once, such that you cannot reproduce it to prove that it was just the chair.

13. May you always forget why you walked into a room

14. May your five year old neighbor have their violin lessons during all of your hangovers.

15. May your sock always slip down onto your foot at the most inconvenient time

16. May you have your laptop charge all night without noticing the cord isn’t plugged in the wall.

17.May the person in front of you always be going a tad too slow

18. May your return calls always go unanswered, even though you literally just f*cking called me, Kyle.

19. May the belt loop of your pants always get stuck on a door handle

20. May you always step in a wet spot after putting on fresh socks.

21. May your tea be too hot when you receive it, and too cold by the time you remember it’s there.

22. May you always see people eat string cheese like regular cheese

23.. May your cookie always be slightly too large to fit inside your glass of milk.

24. May your shoelace always break when you’re tying your shoe in a hurry

25. May the pin of the bathroom stall never reach the lock to close the door.

26. May the person in front of you in line always let other people cut in front of them

27. May all your Facebook notifications be game invites.

28. May you never be quite certain whether that pressure is a fart or poop.

29 May it always be poop

30. May your spoon always slip and sink under the hot soup you’re eating.

31. May people always say “chachacha” in between the verses of the happy birthday song on your birthday.

32. May the corner of your fitted bedsheet always slip off

33. May you always have to get up to pee when you’re really comfortable

34. May your youtube videos take way too long to load

35. May your headphone cords always be tangled

36. May the hairdresser always cut your hair a tad too short

37. 38 May you always have the feeling that someone is looking over your shoulder

38. May your eye twitch, for a very short time, several times throughout the day

39. May someone always change the settings on your chair

40. May the people you eat with be very loud chewers.

I got the idea for this from buzzfeed, A lot of them I thought of and some I got off the internet :)