30 minutes of nonsense

2

So who remembers their first anime obsession? Like that one show that you read fics for and shipped characters and like cried over and bought merch for and oh god

it’s all coming back to me. 

Anyway. That was Fullmetal Alchemist for me. Not like, Brotherhood, but the original Bones animation one. 

I blame this anime for my hellish decent into Weebdom. And so, in honor of this bullshit anime ruining my life, I am going to make Gracia’s (and Winry’s i guess) famous Apple Pie (with a little twist). 

~

Apple Surprise Pie
(serves: just eat the entire 9 inch pie you piece of trash you deserve it)

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Ingredients for Crust-

  • 2 ½ cups all-purpose flour
  • 2 teaspoons sugar
  • 1 teaspoon kosher salt
  • 2 sticks cold, unsalted butter, sliced into chunks and chilled
  • ¼ cup milk
  • ¼ cup (2 ounces) ice water, more as needed

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Ingredients for Fillings-

  • 2 Japanese Yams
  • 2 cups Tart Apples (approx 3)*
  • 2 Tbsp Sugar
  • 2 Tbsp Light Brown Sugar
  • ¼ tsp ground cardammom
  • ¼ tsp Ground Cinnamon
  • 1 Egg Yolk
  • 5 Tbsp Butter
  • ¼ cup Heavy cream
  • ½ tsp Vanilla Extract

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Procedure for Crust-

  • Sacrifice your siblings body and some of your limbs to ensure a perfectly flaky crust. 
  • In a large bowl stir together the flours, sugar and salt to combine. Scatter the butter slices over the flour, and mix it in with your fingertips until the mixture looks hella crumbly and it looks more like dirt than flour in consistency.
  • Stir together the milk and ice water. Drizzle this mixture over the flour mixture gradually until the dough will hold together when you give it a squeeze, adding more ice water by the teaspoon directly to the dry bits as needed.
  • Wrap the dough in some saran wrap and chill until all the filling are ready.

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Procedure for Bottom Potato filling-

  • Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Peel and cut the sweet potato into thin slices and layer them onto a grease baking sheet. Bake until soft, so like 10 minutes. 
  • Using a blender or a food processor, puree the soft potatoes, and then place the puree into a medium sized bowl. Mix in the egg yolk, 1 tablespoon of brown sugar, the regular sugar, the vanilla extract, 3 Tbsp butter, and the heavy cream. The batter should be thick. 
  • For the apples, core, peel and thinly slice the apples. Place them onto a pan and add the remaining butter, brown sugar, cinnamon and cardamom. Mix it for a minute or two, and then cover and let it sweat over a low heat for approximately 10 minutes. After 10 minutes, these lil nerds should be done.

~

Assembly-

  • Preheat the oven to 375 F.
  • Roll out the dough and fold it into itself before rolling it out again. You don’t want the dough to look crumbly and flaky, it should look like legit dough. 
  • Separate the dough into two portions, flatten one out and place it into your greased pie pan. Cut out any flapping out edge thingies and press down onto the crust so that it’s not loose.
  • Add a layer of the potato puree, enough so that it fills up like half the pie. Add the apples as a final filling layer, cover the potatoes entirely. 
  • With the second portion of dough, roll it out hella flat and give your pie an adorable lil weave thing. It’s pretty hard to do but if you suck at it, that’s totally a-ok, because I probably suck at it more lmao.
  • pinch on the edges so that none of the edges are loose, then, use another egg yolk and a splash of heavy cream and use a pastry brush to brush a coating of that over the pie.
  • Throw that nonsense into the oven for approximately 30 minutes, or until it’s hella browned and pretty. Take it out of the oven and let it cool for like an hour, then serve it with some ice cream and some  nostalgic weeb memories (aka all the fanfiction you wrote in middle school.)

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Damn. You just made some real special lookin apple pie friend. I hope you’re proud of yourself, because you just accomplished some really magical things today.

Enjoy your pie, try and block out the gross weeb memories from back in the day, and appreciate the perfection that is FMA and FMA:B. 

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also sign up for this contest ahh

We're having a baby part 3

“Good morning angel” I say quietly as I peer over the cot at 6am and jasmine instantly stops crying

I gently lift her out making sure to support her head so it doesn’t roll back

“Someone’s stinky today” I giggle, laying her on her changing mat

She looks at me intently as she sticks her hands in her mouth

I smile down as I undo the buttons of her baby grow so I can change her diaper

“God jasmine” I cringe at the smell as I remove the dirty diaper “how can that come from your tiny little body” I speak mostly to myself as I clean her up and put a fresh diaper

“I think daddy can take your next diaper change” I chuckle as I change her red baby grow into a clean pink and white one with some white mittens

“You know daddy can hear you” I hear toms voice come through the baby monitor next to me and can’t help but laugh

“Let go see daddy princess” I say cradling jasmine in my arms and walking back to our bedroom not before throwing away her dirty diaper

“Morning darling” toms yawns as we walk in and he reaches for jasmine

I sit down next to him on the bed as he lays Jasmine against his bent legs facing us

“She might get a little grouchy she’s due her feed” I say as he plays peek a boo with her

“Uh oh, where did Jasmine go” I say as tom covers her face with her hands

“There she is!” I say excitedly once he removes her hands She opens her mouth as if she were to be smiling

“Oh no is she gone again” I say sadly “there she is!” We continue playing this until she starts to cry minutes later as she’s hungry

Tom hands her over to me as I cradle her and pull down my top she instantly latches on, I gently pat her bum as her hand reaches up and plays with my T necklace. I smile down at her before turning my head and seeing tom looking over in awe.

“So what’s the plan for today babe?” I ask knowing his parents and sister along with his niece were flying over to meet Jasmine

“Well my family should be landing at around lunch time and they said they’d come around 3 and leave after dinner” he says as he wraps his arm around my shoulder and I lean into his chest, careful not to move Jasmine as she’s feeding.

“What shall I make for dinner” I say yawning due to being up at oddly hours of the night with Jasmine

“Don’t worry about that love I’ll take care of it alright” he says placing a gentle kiss on my head as I feel Jasmine stop feeding

I look down and see she’s fallen asleep, I chuckle and fix my top.

“Do you want to burp her babe?” I ask knowing he likes to be involved some way during the feeding process

He nods and takes her off me gently placing her on his shoulder as he rubs her back. Eventually she lets out a large burp to which me and tom chuckle at.

“I’m gonna go take a shower, you alright staying with her?” I wonder as I get my things for the shower

“We will be fine darling” he says from his place in the bed as Jasmine contently sleeps in his arms

I nod and go into the shower and get ready for the long day ahead of us.

There’s an hour till toms family get here and to say I am exhausted is an understatement, Jasmine is in the travel cot in the living room taking another one of her many naps as I’m sat on the couch with tom watching reruns of friends and trying so hard not to accidentally fall asleep

“Come here darling” tom says patting his lap for me to sit on

I climb onto his lap and lay my head on his chest as he plays with my hair.

“Mmm babe don’t do that” I mumble “it’ll make me sleep”

“Then sleep darling” he smiles “you’re tired, you’ve hardly had any sleep, you’re allowed to take naps” he says still playing with my hair

“But your family” I groan

“I’ll wake you” he compromises

I nod and allow myself to drift off to sleep in his arms

I wake up to the sound of laughter as I open my eyes and look around to see that I’m in my room. Tom must’ve carried me here.

I roll out of bed and brush my hair to make myself look more presentable as I walk down stairs.

“Auntie Taylor” I’m first greeted by the little arms of toms niece around my legs

“Hiya Ellie, look at you you’re so grown up” I say ruffling her hair as she giggles

“Come to the kitchen mummy’s here too and nana” she says pulling me towards the kitchen

“Alight alright I’m coming” I laugh and allow her to drag me there

“Well good morning sleeping beauty” tom greets me with a gentle peck on the lips as I blush “morning”

“How long have you guys been here, I’m so sorry I dozed off earlier” I apologize

“Nonsense Taylor and just a little over 30 minutes” toms mum says greeting me in a warm hug

I smile and turn around to see Jasmine happily in Sarah’s arms
“Well then jazzy I see you’ve met auntie Sarah” I smile as I give Sarah a side hug.

“I thought you were going to wake me” I say to tom as I wrap my arms around his torso and burry my head in his chest

“You were tired darling, you needed to rest” he says placing a gently kiss on my head as his hands wrap around the small of my back

I nod and pull away from the hug

“What are you making for dinner babe?” I ask as I lean back against the counter

“I was thinking fish fingers for Ellie and then salmon for us?” He questions and I nod

I notice Jasmine get fussy in Sarah’s arms as I push myself off the counter and take my baby girl from her. Jasmine instantly calms down and nuzzles her face in my neck. Her little hand wrapped around my necklace just as she did earlier.

“Awh jazzy did you just want a cuddle” I say rubbing her back as I sway side to side

I instantly get a dirty diaper smell come to my nose

“Daddy, someone has a dirty diaper and I think it’s your turn to change her” I smirk handing her over to tom who takes her upstairs to change with no questions asked

“So how’s mother hood treating you” toms sister asks

“Oh it’s only been 4 days but it’s been amazing, exhausting but amazing” I smile

As I get some pans out to start preparing dinner.

“Babe” I hear toms voice come through the baby monitor that was clipped onto the waist band of my jeans

“Mhmm” I respond so he knows I’m listening

“Do you want me to bath her and you make dinner or shall I make dinner and you bath her” he asks making me smile

“I’ll bath her” I say wiping my hands on a table cloth that was resting on the counter

“I’ll be down in a bit mom duty is calling” I laugh as I walk upstairs as tom hands me a naked Jasmine and heads down to start dinner.

I turn off the baby monitor knowing tom has one and I don’t need him hearing my conversation with our daughter

“Well at least he change your diaper huh jazz” I laugh as she cuddles into me and I start the water filling up the bath

I grab her blanket and wrap it around her naked body so she doesn’t get cold as I pace up and down the bathroom waiting for the bath to fill.

Once the baths filled and at the right temperature I gently place Jasmine into her little bath seat as I still keep an arm around her to keep her from slipping

I gently wash her with a princess sponge as her blue eyes look directly into mine

“Do you like the water baby” I coo as she lets out a small piercing scream as if she were to be laughing

I chuckle and finish washing her as I lift her out of the bath and wrap her into her pink fluffy towel before carrying her to our bedroom where I lay her down to dress her.

I dry her off and put on a clean diaper and a pale yellow baby grow that has matching mittens.

“Well don’t you look gorgeous baby girl” I smile as I lift her into my arms and head back down stairs.

“I’m just gonna feed her in the living room alright babe” I say poking my head into the kitchen to see him cooking with the help of Ellie

“Alright love” he says turning his head and smiling at me

I walk into the living room and sit on the couch next to toms mom and sister

I cradle Jasmine in my arms and grab her white blanket that I put over my shoulder, I move my top and she instantly latches on as I make sure the blankets covering me in case Ellie decides to wonder in

“How’s breast feeding going for you” Diana toms mom asks

“Oh, it’s been really good she had no trouble really, she just instantly latches on” I smile as I gently pat Jasmine’s bum as her little fingers wrap around my necklace

I talk with toms mom and sister until I feel Jasmine stop sucking

I look down to see once again she’s fallen asleep, I fix my top before lifting her against my shoulder and rubbing her back waiting for her to burp, eventually she lets out a little burp and I smile kissing the side of her head.

“I’ll be down in a minute I’m just going to put her to bed” I smile standing up and waking up stairs

I gently place Jasmine in her crib and bring her blanket up over her, I switch on her night light and make sure the baby monitor is on before leaving the room and walking back downstairs right in time for dinner to be ready.

“Jasmine went down okay?” Tom asks as I take my seat next to him

I nod and smile before we all dig into our food

“Auntie Taylor” Ellie speaks up

“Yeah el” I answer looking at her across the table

“can we watch a film after dinner” she asks sweetly

“Sure we can” I smile as I continue to eat and I feel toms hand rest on my thigh, I smile and lace our finger together

Once were all done I stand up and collect all the plates as I begin to empty any left overs into the bin and placing them into the dishwasher

“Hey el why don’t you go tell your uncle tom to show you the DVDs we have and you can choose one” I say turning my head to look at her

She nods and leaves to find her uncle

Once I’m done with the dishes I go into the living room and join everyone on the couch, as the begging of finding dory pops up on my screen and I smile as Ellie wiggles her way in between tom and I

Halfway through the film Ellie decided to climb onto my lap and cuddle into my chest, I smile at her and wrap my arms around the six year old. Soon after that she’s fast asleep

The film finishes as Sarah gets up and lifts Ellie out of my arms and places her on her hip as Ellie cuddles into her shoulder still asleep. I chuckle and stretch out

“Well we should get going now thanks for having us over, Jasmine is absolutely gorgeous” Diana says as she comes over to hug me.

She then hugs tom as we exchange goodbyes with Sarah and they leave.

“It’s been such a long day” I groan as I wrap my arms around toms neck and nuzzle into him

“I know baby, why don’t you head upstairs to bed and I’ll clean up here, check on Jazz and join you after” he smiles pecking my lips

I nod and climb up the stairs, cuddling under the sheets. As soon as my head hits the pillow I’m out like a light.


I think for the next part I’ll probably do a time jump to Jasmine being 1 already, please let me know if you’d like that or if I should do more parts with Jasmine being a baby

Thank you for not making fun of me when I cry from watching videos or movies with people proposing, getting married, or dying, thank you for not getting annoyed when I ramble about nonsense for 30 minutes straight without taking a breath, thank you for not being disappointed when I want to spend my weekends hanging out with my friends kids, thank you for not making me feel embarrassed when I can’t reach something off a shelf & also for grabbing it down for me, thank you for being you & for letting me be myself too!

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