30 for 30 best that never was

A Year in Fics

Three hundred and twenty-one thousand, one hundred and twenty-one.  Otherwise known as…321,121.  What is the significance of this number?  That is how many words I wrote in fic this year.  321,121.  Holy crap!

What a year this has been for me, personally and in the fandom.  I’ve met some amazing friends and learned a lot about myself.  Most of all, I’ve found my voice and have put it to good use, I think.  Writing has been an unbelievable stress reliever for me during some difficult times over the past few years, and this year was no exception.  I’ve had the opportunity to learn more about my art and to practice it and to get some amazing feedback through it. And so…I’ve decided to make a master post with the fics I’ve written this year–all of it Larry, all of it mine.  If you’ve read my work and supported it–thank you!  If you haven’t–check it out and let me know what you think!

Best wishes and happy reading–L

Keep reading

Ari Beats the Gatekeepers Part 1 or.. Ari Knew She Was Right So She Went Around Those In Her Way

Unfortunately, due to the lack of clear guidelines and training in all levels of government regarding policy on transgender name and gender changes.. transgender people need to be prepared, they need to know more than ‘the supervisor,’ they need to be polite, but confident and assertive, and maybe someday, the gate-keeping will stop for all of us. Well, we can dream!

Today was a difficult day filled with aggravation and disappointment.. however, today was also a wonderful day topped off with a victory over red tape and a would be gatekeeper.

If you have been following my story long enough, you may remember I legally changed my name and updated my driver’s license and social security card information in May of 2016. Well, I was also in the midst of my divorce during that time. I wanted to apply for a passport since I never had one before. I filled out the paperwork over the summer and set it aside. I wanted to be able to apply with the divorce date filled in so the records were accurate. I decided, “no rush, I can wait until my divorce is final.” I did not anticipate it taking 11 months for my divorce to be final. It was not contentious.. my ex and I handled ourselves in the best manner possible in my opinion. Still, due to all of the built-in delays (30 days to respond here, 30 days to respond there) and some rather inept lawyer-ing from her representation.. it took 11 months! 

Guess when it was finally final? The irony.. it was Inauguration Day! That’s right, I waited to send out my passport application due to that one little box not being able to show that I was legally divorced and in doing so, I am one of the transgender people now holding my breath to see if I sent it in time. In time for what, you ask? In time to be treated like a human being rather than be treated like a criminal by the wretched hive of scum and villainy that is now the white house.

Anyhow, one of my loved ones had to be admitted to the hospital on the 19th, just one day before my divorce was final.. this threw a new wrinkle in things as I took the needed time to care for my loved one. She had to be top priority. My passport application waited another two weeks for me. (My loved one is due to be released tomorrow - yay!!!)

Finally, yesterday I went into my local post office which is also an acceptance facility for passport applications. I asked the woman working the passport desk to take a new photo for me because the Walgreens employee made me look like a grandma in my first attempt at getting an acceptable picture. This woman had kind eyes and she was also very knowledgeable and patient. She went through all of the paperwork I brought… my physician’s statement, my legal name change court order, my photocopy of my id.. then she paused.. 

“Is this the only birth certificate you have?” she asked. I said, “Yes, Why??” (as my heart began to sink)

“I’m sorry, but you need the long form and this is the short form. They will reject it immediately if your parent’s names are not on the copy.”

My heart sank as she told me I could get a copy the same day if I went to one of the Cook County Vital Records locations. I thanked her and decided I would just take the next day off (Friday) and take care of it. I double-checked the website when I got home and confirmed that the nice woman at the post office was correct. She had not given me bad information. I just missed that detail in my research. 

I started Friday morning at the dentist getting my newly prepared crown put in place of the temporary crown I got 3 weeks ago. Once that was complete, I was off to the Vital Statistics room of the Bridgeview Illinois Court House. Of course this involves going through a TSA like security (only not as invasive). They had the lines split for men and women. I of course went through the women’s line. They were nice enough and there were no issues. I found the right room, took a number and waited. I got called up to a station and told the woman that I needed a long form birth certificate. I showed her the short form one that I had (with my original birth name), my court order for my name change, and my current license. She started punching things into the computer then went to get a supervisor. Of course, I could already tell this was not going smoothly, but I hoped the supervisor knew the drill and knew that everything I brought was more than sufficient to prove who I was. NOPE! She told me that there was no way they could issue me MY birth certificate since my driver’s license now stated a different name. She said that I could be anybody. I had given her a stamped and sealed COURT ORDER for the name change and she told me she could not help me. 

I was so dumbfounded by the inept logic that I did not have the words to argue as she handed me a form to fill out and ship to Springfield Illinois so that I could have my birth certificate updated (a process that takes 4 to 6 weeks) BEFORE they could help me. Of course, as you can tell from the title of this post, I knew this supervisor was wrong. I decided then and there that I would visit each of the 5 other Cook County locations that day until I found a supervisor that knew the actual guidelines. Of course, because of the extended conversation about my gender and my name change with many people behind me waiting for their turn.. I had about 12 pairs of eyes looking quizzically at me when I turned around to leave. That’s okay though, because I smiled at them all, knowing I was right and that this was not a true road block. I imagine I had a rather determined look on my face..

It turns out, I only had to visit one more location! That’s right, after another twenty minutes of driving, the helpful people at the nearby Markham, IL location sorted me out in a matter of minutes (well, after I waited in line for about 25 minutes). The clerk did ask for a supervisor, but she returned just to tell me that I should make sure to also send the right form to Springfield, IL so that my birth certificate would match my ID in the future. I promised her that I would. I paid for two copies of my birth certificate and thanked the woman.

I glided out of there, feeling like I had just won a major victory. I knew I had enough time to get to the post office and still get my passport application out that very same day. I drove straight there (an hour drive back by that point). It was the same woman who had to turn me away the day before. I said cheerfully, “Hello again! I have the correct long form birth certificate, although I had to go to two different locations to get it!” I explained what had happened to her and she basically shook her head and lamented that it was sad I had to go through all that. She carefully went through all of my documents and told me that everything looked good and that I was all set. I paid for expedited processing and my passport application is now on an airplane.

I went home, filled out the form I was given to change my birth certificate and went back to the post office to get that sent out along with another physician’s letter and legal name change court order. This should not impact my passport application, because with expedited processing it should be finished by the time they get to my birth certificate change in Springfield (a slower process by all accounts). If my passport gets rejected because the birth certificate I sent has my old name and the system gets updated and shows my birth certificate has changed.. then resubmitting will be fine and less complicated because my birth certificate will show the correct gender and they will have no reason to question it or to deny it. What a tangled web.

By this point it was late in the afternoon and I was elated to have all of that done, but I also had several stress knots in my neck. I looked across the street and saw one of the salons that I frequent. I decided to get a blow out (they also give you complimentary neck and shoulder massages). The girl doing my hair did a great job and had some suggestions for a cut as well. I plan to go back on Wednesday for a cut, but went with just the blowout for today.

The point of writing all of this out is that I hope it is helpful for anyone else dealing with this. Even if you have only one county court house you can visit, perhaps going on a different day and getting a different clerk will get you different results. It is unfortunately a toss of the dice every time we as transgender people have to deal with changes to identification documents.
Be in the know, do your research, know more than the supervisors, be prepared to politely but assertively stand up for what you know to be the correct process. You could also even suggest that they call another location to ask how they handle it if they are unsure. 

I titled this post with “part 1,” because I am fully aware, that there is a strong chance that either my passport application or birth certificate update request will be denied. As long as one of them comes back as expected, then I know the next attempt should be the last to get this all finalized. Of course, Mr. Drumpf could sign an executive order on Monday that calls all of this into question and both of my requests could be halted. If that happens I will immediately contact the lawyer who represented me for my divorce (she is also a transgender woman) and together we will take on the U.S. Government if we have to. 

I will keep standing up for myself and keep going to any lengths to make sure I am not denied. You should do the same 😉

-Ari

My goal in sharing my transition is to represent transgender people in the positive light that we all deserve. Re-blogs are always okay if they are for this purpose, but if you are a fetish blog or fetish website then I want nothing to do with you and you do not have my permission to use my images.

Hi guys! This is the first time I try something like this, but I’ve always loved botms so I thought why not? It will be a great way for me to find new blogs and to spread some love so please don’t let this flop??

Some rules:

  • must be following me
  • reblog this post
  • this gets 30 notes or it never happened
  • deadline is april 30
  • all types of blog can enter
  • 1 winner and 2 runners-up for each category
  • maybe check out my edits?
  • enter my birthday page?

The categories:

  • best overall
  • best edits (please put your edits tag in the tags while reblogging)
  • best aesthetic

What you get:

  • a follow from me if not already
  • a spot on my updates tab for the month of may
  • 5 promos for winners and 3 for runners-up upon request during the month of may
  • my eternal love and friendship

That’s it I guess! Hopefully someone will join (please don’t let this flop i’m begging you)

Let’s do this!

I know it’s late, but I just got home, and week summary must be done. :)


Interesting and fun stuff

Recipe lists

Top recipes

Cheesy Egg Boats Recipe

Mini Chocolate Almond Cakes with Blackberry Buttercream and Chocolate Glaze

ULTRA SOFT STRINGY, STICKY RICE BREAD

Slutty Cheesecake Brownie Bars Recipe

SLOW COOKER RAMEN NOODLES RECIPE

Frozen Hot Chocolate Breakfast Smoothie

CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE MARBLED SKILLET BROWNIE

LEMON BUTTER AND GARLIC BAKED SHRIMP

Naan

CREAMY SUN DRIED TOMATO PARMESAN CHICKEN (NO CREAM)

CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE CUPS

Honey Chipotle BBQ Chicken Skewers

TRIPLE CHOCOLATE ZUCCHINI MUFFINS

Banana Ice Cream Breakfast Parfait

Roasted butternut and buffalo mozzarella pasta bake

Buffalo chicken pizza

Oh and yes, hit a milestone!

on our second date he tells me about his sweet tooth. about how the last twelve months have been all sugar and cold pillows and trying to forget about what he found in the ashes. one week later engulfed in grey sheets I show him the softness of my belly and the birthmark on my ribs and do my best impression of something warm. something you want to devour again and again.

I’ve never been one for dessert.
the word “more” has never been a shape my lips have been comfortable forming.
I guess that what I’m getting at is
most of the time
I chew up potential lovers like a piece of supermarket gum
but I reach for him the way you reach for the second piece of cake.

full,
full,
full.
wanting nonetheless.

Promise (Thomas Shelby x Reader)

Title:  Promise

Pairing;  Thomas Shelby x Reader

Request:  Yes.  “Hellooo,I’m kinda new at this whole requesting stories so ima try my best lolz,your Ada Shelby’s bestfriend and you hear Tommy having a nightmare and you comfort him”

Word Count:  2,341

Author:  Emily

Author’s Note:  This imagine was way too long, but I got caught up in it.  Of course, hope you all enjoy!  There are two more requests I need to do!

Date Written:  Friday, December 30, 2016

Date Posted:  Friday, December 30, 2016

Keep reading

Day 21 - Fave Bro Hug Scene

Yep, I changed it, I don’t watch SPN for sex scenes, but I love the bro hugs. 

MYSTERY SPOT

Don’t let anybody tell you that Sam isn’t just as co-dependent as his big brother. Look how tight Sam is holding Dean. Chuck help anybody who tries to pry his big brother from his arms. 

(which is why most of us are pissed at CARVER for giving us Sam shacking up with Amelia, and not Sam tearing Purgatory apart looking for Dean)

Leap Of Faith - Three

Spencer Reid

Spencer had no idea why he’d suggested that they go back to his place, he could have found an open coffee shop if they’d have walked for long enough.

He also had no idea why he wasn’t taking this girl to the nearest hospital either. She’d been about to commit suicide so she obviously needed help. Yet there was something stopping him. He didn’t know this girl from adam, but she clearly had a story. One that he very much wanted to hear.

He led her away from the park and out onto the main streets pulling her little suitcase behind him. He noticed the luggage tags still on them, she’d flown in from New York.

“So did you have to get a flight connection via New York to get here?” he asked her curiously, confused as he couldn’t recall a British Airline that flew to D.C via the Big Apple.

“Erm no, I live in New York actually. Have done since I was 22,“ she e replied, digging in her pockets for a tissue and wiping away some of the mascara that had made its way down her cheeks.

“How old are you now if you don’t mind me asking?”

“How old are you Spencer Reid?”

“32,” he looked back at her seeing her eyes widen slightly. She had deep green eyes now he could see them properly, the light from the streets lamps illuminating her face somewhat. It was a shame that they were rimmed with so much red and black right now, he could tell she’d be very pretty without any make up and without the evidence of tears splashed across her face.

“You don’t look it. You look younger than me,” she replied, studying his face as she navigated the side walk expertly in her high heels.

Now they were in the light he could see she was impeccably dressed, her clothes were clearly tailor made for her, him not recognising the brand. He could however see the telltale flashes of red on the soles of her shoes.

Seeing him looking at her expectantly she sighed. “I’m 29. I’ll be 30 in three weeks. Well, 24 days actually. That’s one of the things that triggered this whole debacle actually.”

“Turning 30?” Spencer asked remembering how his team had initially forgotten his 30th, only throwing him an impromptu party at headquarters after he’d let it slip to Emily whilst on a case.

“Yes….. Me and my best friend made lists when we were 15 of all the things we wanted to have achieved by the time we turned 30. She kept them and I reread mine four months ago. From a list of 13, I’ve achieved two.”

“You made the list when you were 15. Things change. How many has your friend achieved?”

“Well considering she’ll never see 30, she’s still managed to achieve eight out of her ten. And nine and ten would have happened within a few years time.”

Spencer turned into a side street leading Persephone with him and up the stairs to his apartment building.

“Wait… Why will she never see 30?” he realised the answer almost as soon as the question left his mouth, feeling like the most insensitive dick around. It was obvious. “I’m sorry Persephone,“ he murmured. “How long?”

“Six months. Her and her fiancé. Car accident. Least they were together, I guess. Her Mum found the lists in Alex’s room. I hadn’t realised she’d even kept them all these years.” She cleared her throat, blinking back tears before closing her eyes. Shaking her head slightly she reopened them, the tears gone and a look of resolve on her face.

“Alex always went after what she wanted and she never let anyone stand in her way. I do. Because I’m scared of the consequences. I generally do what I’m told, when I’m told. I rarely fight for what I want. And that’s another reason I’m in this mess.”

The way she spoke gave Reid the impression that she’d had this conversation before, whether with herself or with another person. Her voice was tinged heavily with regret but he also got the sense that she knew exactly what her issues were. When some people contemplated suicide, they simply didn’t know why they were sad, they just were. In fact, not knowing what was wrong was more common than actually knowing what was. Persephone seemed to know what her problems were, so if that was the case, why didn’t she change them?

“This…. This is me,” Spencer unlocked the door to his apartment, switching the lights on as he went in.

Pleased his apartment was clean he led her in, watching her go straight to his book case, her eyes flickering over the masses of books.

“You like to read I take it?” her hand trailed across one of the shelves before she moved to the wall next to it, seeing his degrees and certificates which his mother had insisted he display.

“You’re 32… Some of these are dated years ago… Are you some kind of freaky genius Spencer Reid?”

“I don’t believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified….. ” he stopped, seeing the look on her face. “Yes I’m a genius.” Sometimes it was just easier.

“And an FBI agent too,” She’d got to his work based qualifications. “A profiler to be exact. So that’s how you were able to read me earlier then. Interesting.”

She read through the rest of the certificates quickly before spinning to turn him.

“So….. Coffee? I’ve kinda got things to do here.”

“Coffee.. Do you want to come through to the kitchen, Persephone?”

“Sure thing Spencer Reid…. Who clearly does that,” She laughed at her own joke. “Sorry. I’m sure you get that all the time.”

“Not since school actually,“ he clicked his kettle on, spooning coffee into mugs and adding sugar to his before sliding the dish over to her.

“How much sugar? Seriously? Why drink coffee if you ruin the taste of it with all that sweetness?”

“I honestly couldn’t tell you. I’ve always drank it this way, and everyone always comments. It’s just habit more than anything now.”

She ignored the sugar, waiting for him to add the water. She shook her head at the creamer he offered her too choosing to take it black.

“So. Here we are. Drinking coffee,” she raised her mug in the air in a ‘cheers’ motion.

“Persephone…. ” he began, but she cut him off, knowing what was coming.

“Seph. And you said you wouldn’t ask why.”

“Sorry…. I just. I want to understand.” Looking at her now in the harsh light of his kitchen, she seemed familiar. Like he’d met her before somewhere.

“Okay… Fine. There’s lots of contributing factors to my decision Spencer Reid. But the simplest way of explaining it is this: Have you ever known where you are now, and known where you want to be, but you have no idea how to get from A to B? And that not knowing builds and builds and it eats away at you until it consumes you entirely. You know what you should be doing, but you just can’t get there.”

“I can understand that feeling, yes.”

“I knew where I was ten years ago. And I knew what I wanted to be by the time I was 30. And I’ve achieved nothing….. Yes alright, I should be happy, I have parents who love me in their own way, up until this morning I had a fiancé, who for all his flaws was a decent enough human being. And I had the bestest friend in the world up until six months ago. I was working my arse off trying to establish my dream as well. I was….. well I wasn’t happy. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt 100 percent happy with my life. But I was coping. I was getting on with it. And I was working towards my dream that would have made me happy. I was existing in an state that I could live with. Until Alex died and every went tits up. And until I saw this stupid list and realised how much I actually haven’t done. My dead best friend achieved pretty much everything on her list and I probably never will now. My whole life has been planned out for me by my parents, and I’m too chicken shit to go against their plans for me. I want more, I have my own plans and my own ideas. Except I don’t know how to achieve them anymore, I don’t know how to do the things that will make me happy. And if I can’t make myself happy then what’s the point. Why carry on? Why put so much effort into a life that’s not going to reward me because I don’t know how to make it reward me. It’s too hard. And I’m not cut out for it. So why bother?”

To some, she may have sounded like a spoilt brat. She wasn’t admitting to being abused, not saying she had any kind of dependency problem. She simply wanted more out of life than what she was getting, but didn’t know how to get it. Plenty of people would see this as no good reason to end a life. But to her, it was all the reason she needed. Why carry on if she wasn’t excited by life?

Spencer got it. He understood her. He thought he’d have cured schizophrenia by the time he was 25 and he hadn’t. The disappointment he’d felt, the self loathing and lack of purpose. There was definitely more going on though, a deeper layer to the issues. But in the simplest terms, she was holding herself back and she knew it. But she felt crippled, unable to do anything about it for some reason.

“Persephone…..”

“Spencer Reid,” she interjected.

“Why do you call me by my full name?” he asked her suddenly.

“Because I must have told you four times already that it’s Seph. Yet you insist on calling me Persephone. I know what you’re trying to do.”

“I’m not trying to do anything, it’s just a pretty name.”

“It’s a ridiculous name. Especially when it’s paired with my surname,” she scoffed.

“Which is?”

Spencer watched as she reached into her purse, tossing her passport across the table to him.

He flicked it open to the photo page seeing her full name.

Persephone Bella-Morte.

“Stupid isn’t it…. And quite apt really.”

“Bella-Morte…. ” he clicked his fingers as it came to him. “I know who you are. I thought you looked familiar.”

i hate the straights™

Five Ways to Survive Him

1) don’t kill yourself
the best part about outliving someone is knowing the dirt has been poured and the dust has settled and you never have to visit the grave
2) read every love poem that is about everyone you met after he laid hands on you if skin was paint take comfort in the fact that his color is no longer the first thing people see on you
3) write an entire novel on everything he destroyed and called love
destroy it and call it what it really is
a force that cannot be undone
4) masturbate or teach yourself how to touch yourself gently or re-learn the difference between a good and bad touch or use your hands for something other than worrying
5) do not try to forget
do not give him the luxury of slipping away that easy remember him and paint his name onto the roof of every mouth you meet until everyone knows who he is and what he has done and what to do when they find him

despite being thrust into the world blind, coyotes learn how to hunt within nine months of being born. this is another way to say that the people you love with wobbly legs and quivering lips are not an end, but a necessity to the end.

it’s okay to open your mouth and cry out over the things you step on, the hearts that inevitably you’ll crack.

there will never be anything shameful about howling at the moon.

—  4/30, Caitlin Conlon

anonymous asked:

if you watch 13 reasons why: can you do an imagine where the reader and montgomery are best friends and the reader is justin's little sister so when the mom's boyfriend beats her she goes to montgomery and he comforts her and more fluff? thank you !

I haven’t watched it. I read the book years ago but I don’t think I’ll write for it because I never really got into it.

Requests are open from 12:30 pm Sunday 9th April to 1:30 Sunday 9th April {UK Time Zone}
requests sent in before or after the time slot will be turned away :)

anonymous asked:

1, 14, 30

Ask Me Shit 

1. have you ever been in love?

No. Love is an odd concept to me to begin with. I understand people feel it - I’ve seen it in front of me before, and it’s so obvious it’s nearly nauseating. But feeling it for myself? 

Never. It’s not an issue. 

14. have you ever been heartbroken?

In the romantic sense? No. In other ways? In a manner of speaking. 

30. do you prefer the moon or the stars?

I don’t have a preference. The best nights are when the sky is clear and there’s nothing but the blackness of space and the shine off the moon and stars staring back. It’s something hard to get, living in the city, but there have been assignments going off shore with none of the lights of the city buildings and looking up there’s just… nothing. It’s like getting engulfed in the void. 

It’s pleasing. 

Dpr Live drabble 30, please ✨

30.“I’ll never leave you again”


You got into bed thinking about everything that happened the past 2 weeks, Dabin your best friend, well ex-best friend now, had an argument with you ad said something like ’This is why people don’t like you, just leave’ or was it ’I don’t like you?’. Doesn't matter, He got angry because you said his girlfriend was an ugly cheat but of course, he didn’t believe you, he left you for her.

He kept calling and texting you but you had no energy to answer never mind getting out of bed, you sighed as your phone went quiet and your stomach grumbled ’was there any food in the house?’ you got up to take a look and see if there was anything to eat, finding nothing you sighed again, put your jacket over your pj's and left to buy something. 

You walked to the nearest cafe, ordered your favourite coffee and as you were walking back home someone called out for you, you turned around to see who it was.

It was Dabin.

“Y/n! hey…” he was avoiding eye contact, you rolled your eyes and turned to keep walking, but Dabin ran in front of you, stopping you “Can we talk? please?!” you sipped your coffee and shrugged your shoulders “Just call me” you tried walking again but he stopped you putting his hands  your shoulders “You never answer” you looked at him unimpressed clearly not in the mood to talk to him, he let go of your shoulders and moved to the side, sad to see his best friend walk away but before you could get very far he shouted

“Y/N YOU WERE RIGHT MY EX WAS AN UGLY CHEAT!!! Y/N I’LL NEVER LEAVE YOU AGAIN

you smiled to yourself, happy you'd gotten your best friend back and that he’d dumped that ugly shit. 


prompt list

Novice rounds