3.04 ottery st. mary

Cabin Pressure | Ottery St. Mary [3.04]
  • ARTHUR: So Heaven is full of otters!
  • DOUGLAS: More than you can possibly imagine.
  • MARTIN: So in your case, Arthur, probably about twelve.
  • ARTHUR: Hey, I can imagine loads of otters!
  • DOUGLAS: Really? How many?
  • ARTHUR: A million!
  • DOUGLAS: You see I don’t think you can. I don’t think anyone can.
  • ARTHUR: I can! I’m doing it now. Wow!
  • DOUGLAS: No, you’re just imagining a lot of otters and then saying that’s a million. I don’t think anyone can actually, genuinely imagine more than about twenty otters at a time.
  • MARTIN: Oh, come on! I can definitely imagine a hundred otters.
  • ARTHUR: Me, too! Yellow car.
  • DOUGLAS: All right, how much space do they take up? Could you for instance get a hundred otters onboard Gerti?
  • MARTIN: Yes, I reckon you could.
  • DOUGLAS: And is it a jam-packed, RSPCA nightmare of a plane, or are the otters lounging in relative comfort?
  • MARTIN: Well, okay, well there’s, uh, there’s sixteen seats, so say two to a seat –
  • DOUGLAS: They’re good friends, these otters?
  • MARTIN: Let’s hope so. And one in each overhead compartment.
  • DOUGLAS: Always remembering to open them with care, because otters may have shifted during the flight.
  • ARTHUR: And one under each seat?
  • DOUGLAS: Yes, good thinking!
  • MARTIN: But that’s where the lifejackets are.
  • DOUGLAS: That’s all right: otters can swim. Now, how many in the galley?
  • MARTIN: Um, four on the floor, two on the worktops? Well, it depends – are we carrying Carolyn and Arthur?
  • DOUGLAS: To wait on the otters? I think that would be an indulgence, frankly. I think we’d be better off replacing them with more otters.
  • MARTIN: We’d be better off replacing Arthur with an otter anyway.
  • ARTHUR: Hey!
  • DOUGLAS: So thirty-two in the seats, sixteen in the overhead lockers, sixteen under the seats, six in the galley -
  • MARTIN: Fifteen in the hold?
  • DOUGLAS: Oh, twenty easily, and six or seven in the aisle.
  • MARTIN: Call it seven.
  • DOUGLAS: So that’s what? Ninety-seven - and three in the flight deck! A hundred!
  • ARTHUR: Brilliant!
  • MARTIN: No. Not in the flight deck.
  • DOUGLAS: Hypothetically.
  • MARTIN: I don’t care how hypothetical it is, I’m not flying with a live otter in the flight deck!
  • DOUGLAS: I don’t see why not. Historically, very few hijackings have been carried out by otters.
  • MARTIN: I’m sorry, but I don’t think the Civil Aviation Authority would be too keen on the idea.
  • DOUGLAS: To be quite honest with you, Captain, I don’t think there’s a whole lot about this plane full of unsupervised otters the CAA is going to love.