hej hej♡ today i continue my swedish lesson on duolingo about questions! and here i’m falling for this language over and over againnn ;;-;; i’ll be receiving my finals’ grade on this thursday loolll wish me luck guys! ヽ(*´∀｀)
this isn't really about Onion, but i've been looking at lots of blogs like yours and i'm starting to get uncomfortable that i'm a 17.5 yr old girl dating a 26 yr old man. i feel like he emotionally abuses me sometimes, he gets mad when i fall asleep early and tells me i don't love him. once, he told me he took 10 of his antidepressants at once and i was sobbing and shaking because he wouldn't respond to my texts. he said he wanted to die and i'd get over it. (1/2)
an hour and a half after he told me that, he was suddenly perfectly fine and he told me he actually only took 2 pills. i don’t know what to do. do you have any advice?
I don’t know you or your boyfriend personally so I don’t want to come off like I’m telling you what to do, but I’m going to pass along what “knowledge” I have and hopefully it will help. I’m going to say “you” a lot, but I’m talking in general, not personal. There are two major red flags I see.
1. The age difference
There is a HUGE power imbalance when a 17 year old dates an adult and it’s very layered so bear with me.
I’m going to be saying “power imbalance” and “power scale” a lot. What I mean by that is if someone has a higher position on the power scale in a relationship, they could use that against the person in the lower position to manipulate/control them. The further apart the people on the scale, the easier it is for the person higher on the scale to control the person lower. I hope this makes sense.
Emotional imbalance: I’m not saying it always happens, but it WAY easier for a 26 year old to emotionally manipulate a 17 year old than another 26 year old. A great example of this is actually Greg!
You can see that the relationships he started with 17 year olds and an 18 year old lasted WAY longer than the two relationships he had with women in their 20′s (Green and purple dots, they’re not actually dots they’re lines too but the relationships were so short the dots overlap). Both of the relationships with the women in their 20′s only lasted a few weeks and this is because they saw RIGHT THROUGH his emotionally manipulative tactics. Greg said that Hannah broke up with him because he told her he loved her after two weeks. This not normal. It’s a RED FLAG and it seems she took notice. Compare that to Lainey who was a 17 year old high school student when they began talking. They started dating Feb 27th and were already engaged by March. His pickup line was asking Lainey why they think he is their soulmate. Love-bombing a googley eyed teenager with a crush so they can get the relationship moving very fast and very intense. RED FLAG!
If you want, Greg’s ex Adrienne wrote a long email about her experience with Greg. (She was 26, he was 25) Although it is very long, I HIGHLY recommend it because she points out a lot of Greg’s manipulative techniques and she actually confronted him about it.
There is also a common technique adult men use on teenagers, I don’t know what it’s called, but they’ll say things like: “I don’t usually date someone so young, but you’re mature for your age.” “I’m afraid to talk to you because I might fall for you and you are so young.” etc etc.. they know full well what they are doing. It’s 100% BULLSHIT to make the teenager feel like they must be special to gain the interest of an adult and that THEY need to PROVE themselves to the adult. RED FLAG!! This puts the adult higher up on the power scale.
Financial imbalance: Dating a 26 year old as a teenager can be very appealing because 26 year olds generally make more money than other teenage potential dates. It could seem very luxurious. Like dating an 18 year old boyfriend, picking you up in his used car, getting a slice of pizza, then going to his parents house to watch a movie. Compare that to getting picked up in a nicer car, get taken out to a decent restaurant, then go over to his own apartment! It makes the teenager feel like an adult. That you’re more special than other teenagers you know. Again, puts the adult higher on the power scale.
Another financial aspect is dependence. Most 17 year olds are dependent on their parents and trying to figure out what they will do with their life. Go to school? Start working? Try to move out? An adult dating a teenager can give them the illusion of financial independence. Move in with me! It might feel like freedom at first. You aren’t dependent on your parents, you don’t have to worry about your future for the time being… but this could all be a trap. You went from being dependent on your parents to being dependent on your partner and they might use that against you. This very much puts the adult way higher on the power scale than the teenager.
This can also get tricky when wanting to leave a live-in relationship as a teenager. Moving back home with your parents? Starting financially over from square one and having to listen to “I-told-you-so’s” from your family? It almost seems better to just stick it out and wait for the good times.
Life Experience imbalance: 26 years olds tend to have more life experience than a teenager. A 17 year old teenager doesn’t really know what is normal and not normal in a relationship, how fast should things move along. What is normal and not normal in the bedroom. They would not know how to properly introduce things like BDSM or poly relationships into their life and generally adults will take advantage of that when that’s something they want.
Brain development: A 17 year old brain isn’t fully developed. They just aren’t it’s fact. That’s why in the US the drinking age is 21. The rational/decision making/consequence predicting part of the brain is not fully developed. It doesn’t matter how high your grades are, how mature your body looks, or how mature everyone says you act. You’re going to make dumb decisions, we all do it at that age.
2. Emotional Abuse
This part I will get personal. It’s good that you recognize what he is doing might be emotional abuse because it is. Threatening suicide is 100% a fucked up, emotionally manipulative things to do to someone. The fact that he only took two pills tells me he had NO intention of dying and only wanted to control you. Again, Greg is a great example of this. In 2012 he publicly threatened suicide because he was trying to gain the attention of his ex-wife so he could convince her to cancel their alimony. (Here is his posts and videos from that time.) What did he say about it years later? That horrible time in 2012 when he was sooo emotionally distraught he was thinking about killing himself?
In the 2016 video “Re: List of Onision Abuse Accusations”, Greg admits he used threatening to kill himself as a manipulation tactic against Skye: “That is true. I did publicly threaten to kill myself. I have no defense for that because publicly threatening to kill yourself is really stupid. Especially since that was a manipulative tactic and I had no actual intention of killing myself.” He says he was angry at Skye for lying in court to get more money from him.
It was fake. He faked it. He admitted it was an emotionally manipulative tactic. No intentional of killing himself. 100% bullshit, 100% RED FLAG!
NOW.. If any of this resonates with you and you believe you are in an emotionally abusive relationship and want to get out, you can do it!
Emotionally manipulative people like control. They might make it hard to leave. I think the best way to get is no contact. Break up and walk away, block them, ignore them. They might try all kinds of things to gain back control over you like threatening suicide, trying to get you back, or spreading lies about you. Hopefully none of that will happen, but if someone does threaten to commit suicide after you break up with them and they can’t seem to be talked out of it, try not to get back together with them to make them feel better. I haven’t been able to find any guide or what to do on the internet about a situation like that (I tried to find one a few months ago for a friend, but had no luck), but I knew someone in HS in a situation like that. They called the police and their ex had to explain to the police and hospital that they weren’t actually suicidal.
If anyone has any better advice for a situation like that, please let me know. Again, I had a hard time finding information online.
I did find this article about how to leave a narcissist, but I think it could apply to any emotionally manipulative person because it gives steps to to prevent the narcissist/emotional manipulator from gaining back control over you.
If anyone has any better advice or want to correct me please do so!
Hey there, guys! Welcome to the second Gencio Week! This is a place where fans of Genji/Lúcio can share their works and have fun celebrating the ship once again!
This event is open to any and all fanworks for Gencio; art, fics, playlists, edits*, headcanons? Any creative medium is welcome! The prompts are merely guidelines as well; any interpretations are welcome, and you can do what you wish with them!
*If you are going to be making a playlist/edit and plan on using another artist’s work as part of your submission, make sure you get their permission first!
Day 1: Feb 26th- Rainy Days Day 2: Feb 27th- Fear/Injury Day 3: Feb 28th- Long Distance Day 4: March 1st- Alternate Universe Day 5: March 2nd- Swap (Abilities/Ultimate) Day 6: March 3rd- Date Night Day 7: March 4th- Laughter
Tag your submissions with #gencioweek so I can compile them onto this blog!
You’re welcome to start the prompts any time you want, but I’d appreciate it if everyone waited until the actual event to start posting things. That way it’s easier to keep track of prompts! And if for some reason you’re busy during the week, no worries! Late submissions are welcome, as I’ll be checking the tags up to two weeks after the event!
Just little artwork I drew inspired by the new Disney movie. I saw it Feb 27th (that was pre premiere) And it was cute funny and charming, with smart plot and brilliant characters but that moment I knew I must draw this crossover! I bet Judy’s first day at work would be a lot better if only Carmelita was there =D Once she was a rookie too but had Sly around and he helped her. Judy was all alone and I felt sorry for her when she get scolded by her boss(
I wuv ur blog so much ❤️❤️❤️ I was wondering if u have any dismemberment/post! dismemberment fics because I loveeeeee the angst
Hi there! Thank you so much dear ♡ And of course, I wasn’t sure if you had a specific pairing in mind so I included both jikook and a few other pairings :) I hope this helps!
Title:Busan Author: Shook_Jungkook Rating: General Audiences Length: 1–5k words Genre: Fluff Summary: In which BTS disbands and Jungkook has a plan that makes him very nervous.
Title:Dream Team Author: mintsugakookies Rating: Mature Length: 1–5k words Genre: Fluff, Smut Summary: “Jikook would be that couple that would 100% un-ironically high five after sex.” or Jimin and Jungkook are quite literally the definition of a perfect team, in all aspects of the word.
Title:Feel a Little More (and Give a Little Less) Author: jellyfishes Rating: Mature Length: 15–20k words Genre: Pining, Fluff, Angst Summary:Jeongguk knows he wears his heart on his sleeve, but he thinks that, given the circumstances, he does a good job of keeping a straight face. And it’s not a big deal. He can watch an interview of Park Jimin on a talkshow even though the last time he spoke to him was an awkward five message exchange on Jeongguk’s last birthday. or Jeongguk spends a lot of time thinking about Jimin in the eight years following BTS disbanding for someone who isn’t still in love.
Title:Formal Absences of Precious Things Author: pettey Rating: Explicit Length: 15–20k words Genre: Mutual Pining, Fluff, Angst Summary: The first night he spends at Jimin’s new place, Jeongguk decides it’s finally the right time to start catching up. Or, that tedious post-disbandment fic.
Title:Got that Young Love (Even When We’re Old) Author: offthebeat Rating: Mature Length: 10–15k words Genre: Angst, Romance Summary: a three-day trip back to busan shouldn’t incite these strange feelings in jeongguk again. but, well, busan is almost always equivalent to jimin, and jeongguk’s never been the greatest at dealing with either.
Title:Forever Yours (jinkook) Author: jeonty Rating: Teen Length: 15–20k words* Genre: Slow Burn, Pining, Fluff, Slight Angst Summary: on 2018 jun 13th, bts disbands when big hit only offers to renew six contracts and seokjin isn’t among them. on 2022 feb 27th, kim seokjin becomes the first south korean actor to win an academy award for best actor in a leading role
Title:Strange That Things Change (yoonseok) Author: realface Rating: Teen Length: 5–10k words Genre: Pining, Fluff, Slice of Life Summary: Three days before his birthday, Hoseok comes back to Korea. Yoongi wakes up to a phone call at shit o’clock and Hoseok’s voice in his ear, saying, “Surprise! Come pick me up.” “No,” Yoongi says automatically. Then, after a moment, “Who is this?” “I’m going to ignore that,” Hoseok says, “Terminal three, hyung. I’m waiting.”
Title:The Unreleased Album (yoonjin) Author: noctemlux Rating: Teen Length: 5–10k words Genre: Slice of Life, Slight Angst Summary: Seokjin had never once believed that love existed in the idol industry, not when they’re all hormonally charged young men who spend far too much time together in such close proximity. They had to have release in some way. So it wasn’t love, Seokjin tells himself, even if Yoongi said it was.
Title:You Again (vmin) Author: IGotJams95 Rating: Not Rated Length: 15–20k words* Genre: Pining, Angst, Fluff Summary: BTS has changed since they disbanded 5 years ago: Namjoon is getting married; so is Jin. Yoongi is alone as ever. Hoseok has a kid. No one has heard from Jungkook. Taehyung? He’s still out there, acting. Meanwhile, Jimin refuses to acknowledge the fact that he’s still in love with him.
Hi :) I was wondering if you had a list of fics where there's sexual tension? Thanks!
Oh there’s a lot of fics with sexual tension … so let’s say this is my fav, okay ? Also take a look at my Hate to Love fic rec ;)
Always Come Back To You: “I’ll do it,” Harry offers brightly. No one even blinks. “I’ll do it?”Louis sighs irritably. “Shut up,” he orders, tossing a pillow in the
general direction of Harry’s face. This is a terrible time for jokes,
especially Harry’s lame, old people ones.Not that it was an old people joke. Just that most of the time
Harry’s jokes consist of knock-knocks or terrible puns. The type of
jokes old people like, Louis’ pretty sure. His nan always finds them
hilarious when Harry tells her one.Harry bats the pillow out of the air without even blinking. “Be reasonable, Lou,” he says in his most reasonable voice.Louis is perfectly reasonable, thank you very much, and he’s also
frustrated and upset and tired and he really wants to punch something.
Maybe he should have held on to that pillow a little longer.“You’re not gonna fucking do it,” he snaps. “That’s the last thing I need.”
You’re An Asshole (But I Love You): College AU where Harry studies law and psychology. Louis is a
philophobic frat boy who’s majoring in acting, plays footie and needs
tutoring in psychology. Of course they hate each other but that doesn’t
stop them from having a ridiculous amount of sexual tension.orLouis
is a frat boy with a drinking problem who doesn’t know what he wants to
do with his life, and Harry is a psychology student who always takes
care of him and might just be exactly what Louis doesn’t want, but
really needs. (85k)
I Like the Way You Bend for Me, Baby: Uni AU, in which Harry is a part-time yoga instructor with rock
hard nipples and skin-tight leggings, and Louis most definitely isn’t
Hold Me Closer
Louis Tomlinson is one of the most promising dancers of the English
National Ballet, on track to become the youngest principal dancer in the
company’s history. That is, until forces conspire to significantly
complicate his life, including: a surprise ballet, an unfairly
attractive guest choreographer, and being pushed into a rivalry with his
best mate. Featuring lots of wine, dancing, pining, and a happy ending.
If I Should Stay
:Louis is a television actor who suddenly needs a bodyguard. Harry is the bodyguard he ends up hiring. A fic loosely based on the classic 1992 movie The Bodyguard. (31k)
:Louis is forced to attend a week long meditation retreat. The meditation coach is not quite what he was expecting.Louis and Liam are songwriters. Harry might be a giant hippie. Niall plays guitar and Zayn is dark and mysterious.A Meditation AU, because that’s totally a thing. (25k)
We’re Like Bumper Cars
: “I have won, I won the final cross country. I win, Harry–”
“Whoever gets to fucking nationals wins it, pretty boy,” Harry
teases. “You haven’t won. Interhouse is nothing compared to nationals,
or interstate. You haven’t even won interschool. You can dream all you
fucking want that you’ve won.” Louis becomes so ignorant he decides to no longer eye the boy taunting him. “Trophies prove it all, Styles.” “Where’s your trophy for biggest asshole?” “Where’s yours for winning cross country?” Harry growls before hooking his fingers in Louis’ belt loops and bringing them together for a flat kiss. Or the AU where Louis and Harry are rivals of the century and Cross
Country competitors before things get complicated and they play pretend. (31k)
Take My Breath Away: There is a prestigious school in the British Royal Navy
classified as Premier Delta - or as it is known by its flyers, 1D. These
select pilots are an elite set of Naval lieutenants who are trained in
the skill of aggressive aerial combat. They are instruments of war,
trained in times of peace. They are dogfighters, relentless and fearless
in their mission to protect their beloved country. From their lofty
vantage, they are always watching, waiting, and ready to lay it all on
the line.Lt. Harry Styles, call sign Sparrow, is a prodigy when it comes to
flying. The owner of an unrivaled Naval pedigree, being a pilot was
always written in the stars for Harry. With his trusty RIO, Lt. Niall
Horan, Harry has made an unprecedented ascension in the ranks of the
Naval aerial combat elite, and has been recruited to the esteemed
Premier Delta flight school, carrying on his family’s legacy. What he
finds there are unexpected friendships, perilous challenges, and
something beyond what he ever thought possible. Because as his father
had always told him, before the great Captain Styles went tragically
missing in combat, you don’t fall in love with the sky, you fall in love
with what keeps you on the ground. (153k)
Love Is A Rebellious Bird
:AU in which the boys still make music. Louis is the
concertmaster of the London Symphony Orchestra, Harry is the New! and
Exciting! interim conductor/ex-cello prodigy who “has made Mozart cool
again” according to Esquire Magazine (Louis hates him immediately, which
is definitely why he internet stalked him in his dark bedroom late at
night that one time), and Niall is the best. Zayn and Liam are around
too.Don’t hum Bolero. (134k)