Well, after some research I have concluded that LSD was not on the 3 hits of Marvel blotter paper I ingested last night. The first thing that got me suspicious was the taste of the hits. Very bitter like the peel of a citrus fruit with a slight hint of some sort of synthetic chemical taste (LSD has little to NO taste what so ever). Now this alone should of been a red flag to spit this shit out and that it wasn’t LSD, but me being the optimistic I am thought well maybe it’s the ink from the blotter paper. So after 15 mins of holding the 3 little squares on my tongue I decided to wash them down with the Shiner I was drinking. Now at this point I start to notice my tongue going numb and stayed numb for at least 30 minutes or more, I don’t know time was distorted soon. Now after returning to my room and sitting at my computer jamming music on my head phones I started to feel somewhat funny from mild body sensations to peripheral vision distortion. Now I knew the waves were starting to slowly wash in with every new song that started. I decide now is as good of a time as any to smoke the last cigarette in my pack(which turned out to be my last one period). Seeing how I probably shouldn’t go out on the porch when this trip takes full hold on my brain. Getting up from my desk was, well to describe it best would be that this must be what it’s like for a baby giraffe to walk for the first time. I was so wobbly and unsure of my legs I was starting to wonder if I was going to be able to make it out for that smoke after all. After a bit of patience I make my way out of my bedroom door and down the hall. Now the walls are starting to breathe a bit and things are starting to have strange hues to them. My room-mate is on the couch fucking off on his laptop and while I’m standing in the front door way.
I look at him and say, “This is a bit stranger then I was expecting.”
He replies back with, “You’re feeling it?”
“Yeah, I’m starting to feel it.”, I say with a smile.
Surprised he says, “Really, it took like almost 2 hours for us, but when we did finally feel it. We went to the moon I tell you!”
I laugh and say, “I feel lift off is soon to be coming.”
Now I’m on the porch leaning on the rail looking out into the sky at the clouds slowly moving across the blackness thinking, “I hope I’m ready for this.” I like to use psychedelics for personal growth and reflection whether it’s with a group of close friends or by myself. Which this night was all about me going into the unknown alone for some deep thought into my life and something’s I’ve dealt with over the last 5 years that need some closure. So I strike the wheel of my lighter to light my cigarette. Oh boy was that the most entertained I’ve been by the lighting of a smoke in a while, it must have been 5x as bright as normal! Looking out over the rail at the ground the grass began to sway and wave like green worms dancing in the wind. Now I think to myself, “better strap in cause this roller coaster is about to take off.” Now I didn’t finish my cigarette because it tasted a bit off. I don’t know if it was the mind state or the after effect of the hits on my tongue, but none the less it was off putting. After sitting on the porch and trying to keep up with my room-mate describing his trip at the Ren-fest. I had noticed it very hard to keep up with and process what he was saying. Not only from the mental and audible fuzziness, but also because his face was warping and the colors of the things in the background began to pulsate. So at this point I decided it was time to venture in my room and get comfortable.
Again walking seemed so odd and I felt unusually tall, which is way I describe it has a new born giraffe walking for the first time. Now I have no Idea what time it is exactly I figured like 10:30pm-ish. I knew it was around 9:30pm when I dropped this shit. Looking back I was somewhat right cause it was like 10:16pm when I posted this (http://cbnms.tumblr.com/post/35538137531/fear-and-loathing). So I’m sitting at my desk jamming random tunes and checking out my Winamp milkdrop visualizations(amazing by the way). Now I really began to notice I was tripping hard cause when I’d look out into the hall way from my door and the shadows would move across the floor and the wall was flashing with colors like the light of a TV was bouncing off of it. Last time I checked we had no TV’s in the hall way, just saying. So I stretch and reach over to the door from my desk and give it a nice little push and well it wasn’t hard enough so I was forced to get up(which I was not happy about). As I slowly pushed the door to the point I heard the little mechanism that holds it shut click. This is when I lost all connection with reality, time, and even myself. Sitting back down at my desk I lost interest in the visualizations. I mean when your desktop background is moving and coming alive with the music pulsating and swirling around more so than the shit that was made to do that. It’s very easy to see why it might choose to watch something that’s normally stagnant and lifeless. Now at this point I can’t really describe it word for word because words cannot even begin to express this shit I went through. Closed eyed visuals can only be compared to an Alex Grey painting. A million eyes spiraling in and out encased in kaleidoscopic triangles with colors brighter than anything I have even witnessed. At this point I stripped down to some comfortable stretchy shorts put my Tool and APC playlist on and crawled in my bed and under the covers. I laid there for what felt like hours upon days within a year watching these sights unfold behind my eyelids. With every track that came across my head phones opening up another door to a personal thought I needed to work out. I lost the idea of myself, total ego death. I would look at my hands and I honestly didn’t think they were mine.
When I finally did snap out of the peak of the trip I just popped up from my bed and rushed to look at the time on my computer. This is when my mind was blown yet again. I was thinking it’s like 7am maybe give or take, but no it is 11:56pm! A little over an hour and I kid you not I had went to the brink of inner space and thought. I tripped for at least another 5 to 6 hours fucking off on my phone taking pictures and even getting lost in the mirror looking at myself unable to recognize the person I was looking at. I watched the new episode of The Walking Dead which even in the come down phase was interesting. After which I ate some left over pizza, drank a bottle of water and then laid down and fell asleep to princess mononoke. The next day I woke up twice once like a 8am to get a drink. I was still not right in the head yet. As well again around 1:20pm and talked to my room-mate for a few minutes and went back to bed again. slept until 12:30am Tuesday morning at which I was craving sweets(look at my post before this one). At this point I was 100% level and was really able to reflect on everything.
All and all I had a very good after glow from the trip and I feel fresh again. I like having my idea of reality shattered. It gives me a chance to put it back together again and look at it piece by piece as I go. I have come to grips with things I was too afraid to deal with or even admit was a problem. I don’t see myself taking psychedelics again anytime soon. I feel that they shouldn’t be taking advantage of and if used right can be a nice tool for working out and looking at shit going on in your life in a new way. Word of caution I have a lot of experience with psychedelics and do not recommend anyone taking them alone for the first time. As always be safe and research anything you decide to put into your body.
so yesterday i tried 25i nbome for the first time. the come up was so quick i threw up all the cheetos i ate before but after that i hallucinated unlike ever before. cats. everywhere.
i would be hysterically laughing and a second later i’d be crying because of the laughter. then i would stop laughing and wonder why i was crying. this stuff really fucked with our emotions for a bit. it was extreme hysteria.
but i don’t regret it one bit. it was insane how i’d look at anything with a pattern (the ground, a bush, a table, or anything really) and my mind would make something out of what i was looking at. i would still see a bush but i would also see a pattern of tigers or pandas almost encrypted in what i was looking at. there would be hundreds of cats everywhere. i fucking loved it.