November 24, 2004

“I’m thankful for our pack.”

“I’m…uh, thankful for food.”

“Nice one kiddo. I’m thankful for my wife and kids.”

“I’m thankful for my sister who is a truly wonderful Alpha.”

“I’m thankful for our territory and it’s safety.”

“I’m thankful for my new phone.”

“Really Laur? I’m thankful for my husband and kids, without them I’d be nothing. Same for my pack.”

“I’m…thankful for…Kate.”

The dinner table went silent.


November 25, 2004

“That was a real shit thing to do at dinner Der.”

Derek furrowed his brow, looking over to Laura through the brush and moonlight. Tonight the moon hung low in the sky, it’s round fat face full in all it’s glory. Peter had been teaching him how to control the shift ever since Paige died last school year, using anger as his anchor.

Tonight was one of few he’s started to spend outside the downstairs bunker with the younger kids.

Laura didn’t smell or look mad, more disappointed than anything. It hurt more, stung deeper than her yelling at him for being an idiot. For being stupid and falling for an older woman, one nobody really knew but Derek.

Derek trusted her though, trusted Kate. She was sweet and a few weeks ago took the news of werewolves just fine…not that he’d let anyone know he actually told her. It was his family’s secret, but like he said he knew her enough to trust her with it.

“What do you mean a shit thing to do? I am thankful for her,” Derek defended, curling more into himself while balancing on the rock he was sitting on. They were at Beacon Point, the very edge of the reserve that looked over Hill Valley, the city just beside Beacon Hills.

The twinkling of the bustling city below managed to calm him a bit but not by much.

Laura huffed, shaking her head full of curls before sitting beside him on the rock. Looking to the girl three years his senior he frowned, gritting his teeth together.

“Was it really that bad Laura?” Derek asked, voice low to hide the slight vulnerability he was feeling.

His sister’s coldness broke, her arm wrapping around his shoulder and pulling him into her. Derek didn’t hesitate to curl into her side because maybe he did ruin Thanksgiving.

“I think it just took us all by surprise, out of all the things you could’ve said you mentioned her. Definitely knocked Mom and Dad’s socks off,” Laura answered.

Derek could already see why she was the next Alpha in line, it was part of the reason he hated this situation. Hated that he’d disappointed her and their parents. He disappointed them with Paige and now again with Kate, he was such a shit excuse for a son in this family.

Cora is seven years younger than him and is a better child.

“Stop it Derek,” Laura warned, “I’m choking on your self pity and I know you’re pretty much drowning in it. Just try better next year, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “next year will be better.”

For a while after that they sat in silence, watching the moon rise to it’s peak as the night went on. It’s soft glow casted a blue hue over everything. Over time he felt himself calm down and his sister’s hold was only making that easier for him to do.

Maybe this was his first full moon where he was perfectly calm.

“So,” he started, “how is everything with Josh?”

Laura snorted, a thing she did when she laughed, “over and done with. He only asked me out to get into my pants.”

“Considering how tight you buy your pants in the first place he had no chance anyways,” Derek said, looking at her with wide eyes.

They both erupted into easy laughter, eyes crinkling and noses scrunching up. This was nice considering Laura is attending college in New York which meant less time with her. Everyone had been worried she wouldn’t get her work done in time to make it home for Thanksgiving, but Derek had no doubt she’d made it.

She always does.

Before either of them could recuperate from laughter the light air was spliced with darkness. A weak excuse for a howl echoed within the night, broken and practically begging for mercy and help. It sent shivers through Derek and made his heart clench in his chest.

The moment he realized who it belonged to was the moment his stomach fell from his very body, eyes widening and jaw going slack. Laura mimicked his expression.

“Cora,” they said in unison before bolting from their place on Beacon Point, thrusting themselves into a beta shift as they sprinted through the woods back home.

Fear pooled low in his chest, vision swimming without control, and the only reason he was on track is because Laura was running in front of him to guide the way. A few times he tripped on messy underbrush, his knees and palms torn up from the rough ground but the pain was nothing and already healed by the time he was up and running again. The leafless trees and spiny bushes passed by in a blur of dull colors, the chilled air like ice in his throat as he breathed in deep to keep running.

They were less than a mile away by the time he caught wind of what smelled like fire and burnt ashes. Fire wasn’t good on werewolves, it took almost as long to heal as mistletoe or mountain ash burns. Depending on how bad the burns were it could take years.

He hoped more than anything Cora just howled because it was instinct and not because the others couldn’t.

When they broke the tree line Derek nearly fell to his knees at the sight before them. Orange crackling flames licked up the side of their house, the back and entire left side of it engulfed in it. Derek felt the fear within him manifest to pure agony when he realized none of their family was outside.

The smell of singed flesh made him gag.

The only thing worse was the sounds of screams and cries they could hear from inside, claws and fists banging against what must be the metal door from the bunker below.

NO!” Laura roared, hysterical as she ran up to the house.

Derek froze watching as his sister was about to run into the house, “Laura! NO!” Before too much could happen she was thrown back off her feet, landing on the ground with a harsh huff.

Mountain ash.

Nobody was meant to escape, this was a trap, someone set this up…

A hand smacked him across his face, bringing him out of his thoughts, blinking wildly to see Laura shaking him. Her green eyes were soaked in tears and her body shook violently.

“Get your head out of your ass Derek! Help me find another way in before the cops get here!” Laura screamed before running off to the right side of the house where the flames had yet to touch. He watched her start to scale the ivy which curled up to the second story roof.

Shaking his head he made his way to the left side, wary of the flames that were anything but tame. They ran like wild and moved with lethal grace. Derek blinked away the blur from his sight, eyes flickering blue to see if whoever did this left any blank spots of mountain ash.

What he did find was the grated window that was part of the bunker. There was no mountain ash barrier but the iron itself was soaked in it to prevent a younger or out of control wolf from getting out on full moons. Derek wanted nothing more than to rip it out but knew it would be no good.

“Hey!” Derek yelled into the mass of screams, flopping onto his belly and wiggled in close to the grate to see inside. Large walls of flames were all over the room, basking everything in an angry glow.

There were bodies on the ground, one in particular had him crying out. It was the olive green shawl that gave her away; she wore it around the house and she wore it at pack meetings. Her hair and skin were burnt beyond compare and just looking at her made him want to die.

She wasn’t supposed to be dead! This was his mom, his Alpha, his everything!

“Mom!” He screamed, shoving himself closer to the window even as smoke billowed out and fire threatened to burn him. He didn’t care anymore though, he just needed Laura to get inside and get them out.

Hands suddenly grasped the bars, caked with blood and flaking skin. The face of his father appeared, mangled from the fire. Derek put his hands over his father’s, numbness washing over him.

“Son,” his father rasped but coughed before much more could be said.

“Dad! Hang on okay! Laura is finding a way in, and we called 911,” Derek said, flinching when ashes wafted out of the small window and into his eyes. His father’s hand wrapped around his, the grip tight and expressing everything that needed to be said without any use of actual words.

Derek  opened his eyes again and looked to his father, shaking his head, “…no, please Dad…I-I can’t…”

Before much more could be said a flash of heat wafted out from the window this time, Derek screaming as it hit his face. Scurrying back from the heat he watched as his father’s face was swallowed whole by the flames.

The numbness that washed over him was astounding. The ringing in his ears was bliss compared to the rapidly fading screams of his family. He didn’t actually see the flashing emergency lights, or hear the sirens, or feel as a deputy pulled him away from the house.

Derek felt his body thrash around on it’s own accord and felt his throat move with a wail but heard no sound. Sturdy arms wrapped around him, shielding him as something exploded from inside the house which only created more flame and heat.

Finally he took a breath, he let the pain in because holding back made him feel like he was drowning. Once again the crackling of fire and screaming sirens filtered in, his body could comprehend the officer dragging him to an ambulance, and the realization that all he had left was Laura crushed him.

“Son! I need you to calm down, okay? We’re gonna get your family–”

Using his strength he ripped away from the cop easily enough, spinning on his heel to face him. The guy was young-ish, hair sandy brown/blonde, blue eyes worn.

His name tag read “Stilinski”.

“My family is dead,” Derek sobbed, wiping his eyes harshly, “I watched them…they…they’re dead!”

Stilinski deflated, a hand clasping Derek’s shoulder as he lead him to the ambulance without so much of a word. Laura was angry, so angry as she carefully kicked and flailed around on the gurney she was laying on. Her body was covered in black soot and her arm had a massive burn on it.

“D-Der,” she wheezed and he rushed inside, shoving the EMT away when he tried to tell Derek to stop. He threw himself into the back of the ambulance and held onto his sister for dear life, crying into her smoky scented hair.


“It’s my fault,” Derek muttered the next morning as they said and waited outside the Sheriff’s office to give a statement before Laura hauled them both back to New York.

Laura was hunched over, knees curled into her chest, “what?”

“I think I know who did this…who set the fire,” he clarified and his sister looked to him with such hatred and anger it made him recoil. Her eyes even flashed red for a second before turning to their human state. Fresh tears sprang to her eyes as she stood up on two shaky legs, making her way outside.


“I can’t believe you told her! Derek how could you have been so stupid?!” Laura screamed at him, the “this is all your fault!” was left unsaid but very clear in Derek’s mind. Every deputy froze, eyes wide at the two of them.

Derek didn’t protest when she stormed out of the station. Hell he deserved for her to leave too…he didn’t deserve to have her. What he’s done is unforgivable. He’s the reason Peter is comatose in the hospital. He’s the reason his ten other family members are six feet under in an empty casket because there wasn’t enough remains to bury them properly.  

Choking on the lump in his throat he stood when the Sheriff called him in, not missing the sorrow stricken look on deputy Stilinski’s face as he walked in alone.


Thank you to @endgame-sterek who beta’d this for me! Have fun with the angst!


Harry and Niall

8 days to go! 


Imkaan: the National Network of BME Women’s Support Organisations



PHOTO & INTERVIEW OPP: Trafalgar Square to Downing Street march and petition hand-in, Saturday 21 November from 12.30pm

A powerful and authoritative new report on the health of the black and minority ethnic (BME) women’s organisations which support women and girls fleeing or at risk of violence and abuse in the UK, is published today (21 November) as campaigners march from Trafalgar Square to Downing Street to hand in the report and a petition on protecting these services, ahead of the Spending Review on Wednesday (25 November) which is also the International Day for Ending Violence Against Women. 

The report outlines the extremely serious funding crisis now facing these BME women’s services, which include refuges, helplines, outreach services and advice centres. The report warns of the devastating consequences the loss of this unique sector would have for BME women and girls in the UK, which prominent leaders in these organisations now fear could happen.

The report finds that BME women and children in the UK have great and urgent need of specialist BME women’s services, which uniquely understand the situations they face - in the last financial year, in London alone, 733 BME women sought refuge spaces (1) and only 154 were successful (2).  Nationally, in one year alone, 17 BME VAWG organisations supported a total of 21, 713 women (3).

Marai Larasi MBE, Executive Director of Imkaan, said:

“Support services which are set up and run by black and minority ethnic women are unequivocally the best at providing tailored support for women and girls who may be fleeing domestic violence, a threatened forced marriage, sexual abuse and more. The women leading and working in these services understand the particular risks and dynamics of violence in different communities. And they understand how the barriers to approaching mainstream services like the police and health, or even other charities, are greater for some women.

“These organisations are well known in the communities they serve and have the highest numbers of women approaching them directly rather than being referred on by police, social workers or others. Bigger, more generic services are rarely able to achieve this profile or these ‘self-referrals’. If these services are lost, lives will be lost. When this lesson is learnt, it will be hard to start again and rebuild. We urge the Government to show that it understands the needs of BME women facing violence and to commit to a nationally ring-fenced funding solution.”

Case study: Apna Haq - The crisis facing Black women’s services came to national attention this Summer when Rotherham-based Apna Haq was threatened with closure, despite being the only specialist service for BME women and girls in a town which has a national spotlight on it following the child sexual exploitation prosecutions there. Rotherham Metropolitan Borough Council awarded funding for ‘floating support’ targeted at BME women at risk of domestic violence to a non-BME specialist provider. Apna Haq’s fight to survive continues, and service users and supporters will gather at Trafalgar Square and deliver their petition to Downing St this Saturday 21st November to demand centralised funding for Apna Haq, and the national network of BME violence against women and girls services.

Zlakha Ahmed, Executive Director of Apna Haq, said: 

“Independent, specialist and dedicated services run by and for the communities we seek to serve are life saving. Our ‘led by and for’ services offer uniquely empowering experiences to women and children as service users are reflected in staffing, management and governance structures. In Rotherham, we are a critical space for Black women to come together and share our experiences, keep each other safe and share our dreams. Demand is increasing every day. We, and many others, simply cannot afford to close. Central Government must take action now.’

More report findings - The 2011 census found that the BME population of the UK increased from 8.8% in 2001 to 14%, and in London stands at 40.2% (4). Yet BME women’s services have experienced a devastating reduction in funding, forcing some to close down and many to reduce capacity. There are currently over 34 dedicated specialist BME VAWG services in the UK, of which half are refuge providers who between them have over 700 years of experience of supporting women from BME communities. But the Imkaan report shows that these services make up only a tiny proportion of violence and abuse services offered in the UK - most local councils fund no support for BME women facing these issues at all. Many areas in the UK have no such service meaning BME women must travel further to receive support. This also demonstrates the need for a national funding solution for these life saving services.

67% of BME VAWG organisations spoke about the huge barriers they experience in accessing local funding because of the unequal playing field created by a funding/commissioning environment and culture, which favours larger, generic service providers. Imkaan’s data suggests a worrying increase in specialist BME VAWG organisations being taken over and managed by generic providers across the UK, where just over half of BME VAWG services currently managed by a large, mainstream organisation (5).

BME VAWG services reported overwhelming uncertainty “In the long term it does not look bright…they have announced the budget from 2015-2018 and I’m not convinced BME services will be considered from 2018-2021.”

Recommendations: To ensure the protection of BME women victims and survivors of violence, Imkaan makes the following recommendations:

1. National and local recognition of BME violence against women and girls (‘VAWG’) organisations as a unique specialist model of provision, providing local and national benefits across all aspects of health and social care, as well as contributing to the development of better-informed policies, legislation, practice innovation and significantly enhancing UK society.

2.  A single national ring-fenced budget for specialist BME VAWG ‘led by and for’ organisations including refuge providers and outreach/ advocacy services, similar to the nationally based precedent set through the Rape Support Fund (6)

3. A mixed package of funding, consisting of national ring-fenced funding and grant-based funding by Local Authorities, Police and Crime Commissioners and Health commissioners to BME VAWG organisations. This should be attached to robust local accountability structures including lead VAWG commissioners in local areas, trained on all equalities strands. Any VAWG commissioning approach and setting of priorities should be linked to national and regional hate crime and VAWG strategies.

4. National accountability through a Violence Against Women and Girls Ombudsperson who will hold to account local commissioning services, highlight good practice in local areas and regions and take complaints.

5. Central funding for second–tier organisations, which supports services around sustainability including the development and implementation of specialist BME quality assurance frameworks, measuring impact, supporting consistency and strengthening skills and expertise.

6. For charitable funders, trusts, foundations to develop specific funding streams framed around VAWG and equalities based principles and aims.

Full report and summary available on www.imkaan.org.uk 21 November 2015.

Statistics on violence against women and girls - With 2 women a week killed in the UK at the hands of current or ex partners (7), 1,267 people seeking support from the forced marriage unit in one year (8), an estimated 137,000 women and girls affected by FGM (9), and approximately 85,000 women raped in England and Wales every year (10), we know that any further cuts to VAWG services will cost lives.  

New EU obligations to provide high standard services for victims - By November 2015, all EU member states will need to fulfill requirements set out in the Victims’ Directive 2012/29/EU which sets out a set of minimum standards to ensure rights, protection, support and dignity to all victims of crime, regardless of residency status.


Media contacts: 

Sumanta Roy (Imkaan) 07939 936 467 www.imkaan.org.uk 

Zlakha Ahmed (Apna Haq) 07521 983 277 http://www.apna-haq.co.uk/ 


#saveapnahaq #nothingaboutuswithoutus #stateofthesector #blackwomenblackservices  

Notes to Editor:
1. Information collected by Women’s Aid for London Councils from UKRefuges Online courtesy of Women’s Aid, November 2015  
2. Some of these may be repeat request’s as count is of instances of referral, not individuals
3. Imkaan national member survey, September, 2015
4. Office for National Statistics (ONS), (2015), citing the Homicide index from the Home Office, Figure 2.5. Accessed online November 2015 at: http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/publications/re-reference-tables.html?edition=tcm%3A77-376027
5. Imkaan BME VAWG services directory accessible online at: http://imkaan.org.uk/membership
6. Ministry of Justice (July 2014) Organisations awarded funding from the female Rape Support Fund: 2014 to 2016.
7. Office for National Statistics (ONS), (2015), citing the Homicide index from the Home Office, Figure 2.5. Accessed online 20 November 2015 at: http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/publications/re-reference-tables.html?edition=tcm%3A77-376027
8. Forced Marriage Unit 2014 data, accessed online 20 November 2015: https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/412667/FMU_Stats_2014.pdf
9. Macfarlane and Dorekenoo 2014 Female Genital Mutilation in England and Wales: Updated statistical estimates of the numbers of affected women living in England and Wales and girls at risk Interim report on provisional estimates 2014 Equality Now and City University
10. Rape crisis England and Wales Statistics page, accessed online 20 November 2015 at: http://rapecrisis.org.uk/statistics.php

giant-baby-tree  asked:

do u have any hollstein fanfic ur own or just recommends

The Trades We Choose by carmillasleatherpants it’s rated E with 8 chapters. It has smut in it, but it’s very plotty and very good. “In November, Carmilla Karnstein turns 25. In November, she becomes the new chairman of Karnstein Industries. In November, Laura will part ways with her.After November, she’d never see Carmilla Karnstein again.(Personal Assistant AU)” Note: This author is amazing and writes so many great carmilla fics! Definitely check out more of their stuff!

Pandemic by Puntrest also rated E with smut but I freaking love apocalyptic stories and this one is very well-written and keeps you engaged the whole time. “A deadly virus plagues humanity. The Infected and their blood relatives are placed in quarantine camps where illegal experiments take place. When Laura Hollis’s father falls ill, the two of them are sent to a camp known as Silas. There Laura befriends a group of outcasts who have plans to escape, and she becomes roommates with a mysterious loner named Carmilla.” 

The Black Cat by marissalyn14 I read a lot of E fics with smut I am so sorry. It’s a stripper au with a twist and it keeps you on your toes the whole way through. Fantastically written with a great plot! “For her 21st birthday, Laura gets dragged to a strip club, her present waiting inside.” Most stripper au’s I read aren’t done very well, but this one is pulled off amazingly and it’s a great read for any creampuff!

Absolution. by lordvoldyfarts Once again rated E with smut! This is a cheating fic with some hollence sprinkled in but it’s very good. “Laura’s dating Danny. Carmilla knows that. It doesn’t stop her from wishing, wanting, waiting. And when the opportunity knocks, you let it in, consequences be damned.” It has amazing plotline, and goes into amazing details with the characters and their emotions. Note: I really, really, really enjoy this author and I read a lot of their stuff and I didn’t want to fill the list with their fics only but they are, by far, my favourite fanfic author and I 100% recommend reading their stuff!

Elevators and Blackouts by makeme123 it’s rated M and has 26 chapters. “Carmilla and Laura live across the hall in LA. A heatwave caused blackout leaves them stuck in an elevator for hours. Time to meet your neighbor…” It’s a good one! One of the first I read, I think.

The last two are one-shots. I would like to say that I am very, very critical of one-shots. One-shots have to have a great enough story to keep the reader focused from start to finish, and has to be long enough to contain all the characteristics of a good story. If they are able to create a multichapter fic in a single chapter, I think they are amazing. That being said, the two one-shots I’m listing are fantastic, and are beautifully written by amazing authors who have been able to convey a good storyline as well as portray the characters in the story in such short fics.

Color by hedalexastrong it’s rated G and it’s an amazing one-shot. “Everyone sees black and white. There has been rumors that color exists, but the only people who claim to see it have said that color comes into your life the moment your soul mate says your name. Even if it is true, it is said to only happen once in your life.Carmilla didn’t believe that rumor. Until it happened. First with Ell, and then with Laura.” I have yet to meet a creampuff who read this story who has not teared up a bit, or who has not loved it.

The Way She Looks by Kendarrr it’s rated E with smut. (I am a sinful child and do not at all regret sticking to my standards of filth.) “Laura agrees to pose for Carmilla, an artist friend of LaFontaine’s, only to strike a friendship with her that evolves into something more.” Once again an author who can put what could have been an entire fic into one chapter and do it right. Let me tell u. This story. This fucking story. Is so amazingly written. I almost wish it was multichapter but it’s fantastic how it is and I’m so happy to have read it.


I hope you enjoy the fics!