Alone- Part 1
Based on a prompt line; “Don’t leave me behind.”
Warnings; Fighting, Feelings of Worthlessness
A/N; Honestly I’m not really sure where I’m going with this. If you want a part 2 though let me know!! Feedback is encouraged! :)
Pairings; Bucky x Reader, Steve x Reader
It had been almost 3 years since Bucky became an avenger. And it had been almost 3 years since you developed the biggest crush ever.
He had sauntered into the compound and looked at you with those piercing blue eyes and that was it. Ever since then you’d been inseparable. The bestest friends ever, but that was it, nothing more.
The only other person who knew about your feelings was your best friend Nat. She’d been trying to encourage you to tell Bucky how you felt for years but you couldn’t, you were almost positive that he didn’t see you that way and didn’t want to ruin your friendship.
You always told her “Something is better than nothing.” To which she’d dramatically roll her eyes.
You were looking down at the book you were currently reading but couldn’t focus on the words. All you could hear was the high pitched giggling coming from the kitchen and every note pierced your heart. It was one of the many girls Bucky would bring over when he was ‘lonely’.
He strolled over to you, coffee in hand. “Hey doll, whatcha readin’?” He asked as he sat down next to you and handed you the hot mug.
You smiled and grabbed the coffee from him. “Thanks Buck. It’s uh-”
He grabbed the book from your lap before you could protest and read aloud. “In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”
He paused for a second, his cheeks going lightly pink and looked at you. Your eyes met and it seemed like his eyes glossed over before he let out a loud awkward chuckle.
What the hell was that about? You thought.
His eyes were still lingering on you as the blonde girl came up behind him and laid a hand on his shoulder. He jumped slightly and turned to look at her. “Honey we should let her read, come on let’s go back to bed.” She purred. He looked visibly uncomfortable as he stood up and followed her down the hall.
As you stared into your mug urging your eyes not to water and trying to suppress the stabbing feeling in your chest, you missed when Bucky turned back to look at you, a hopeless longing in his eyes.
* * *
A few hours later you were in your workout gear pummeling a punching bag, imagining a certain blonde.
Why couldn’t you be enough, why couldn’t he see you as more. What were you doing wrong.
Why. Why. WHY.
You felt hands touch your waist and turned just as fast sweeping their legs out from under them. There was a thud and an “Ow! (y/n)!”
Steve was laying splayed out on his back looking vengeful.
“Oh Steve! I’m sorry! Instinct.” You shrugged as you helped him up.
“It’s okay it was my fault, shouldn’t have snuck up on ya like that.” He smirked. “So what’s got ya so angry?” He pointed at the still swaying punching bag.
“Honestly I don’t even want to talk about it.” You sighed.
“Wanna practice then? We do have a mission tomorrow.” He smirked again inching towards you.
“Rogers, don’t even try.” You ran at him flipping over his shoulders and he turned slowly, not expecting it.
Just then Bucky walked by the door of the training room, but you were too distracted by Steve to notice.
He sauntered over to you and got right up in your face. Grinning he pushed a strand of hair out of your face. You were always very fond of Steve and had a flirty relationship but never took it any further. With one swift movement he took you down and was straddling your hips inches away from your face.
Bucky couldn’t watch any longer, a lump growing in his throat as he walked away feeling defeated.
Just as he left you flipped Steve over and put him in a head lock. “I win!” You sang cheerfully.
There was clapping from behind you and you both turned to see Nat walking in. “I want in on this!”
The three of you spent the rest of the afternoon training together until you were all too tired and sweaty.
* * *
The next morning you met in the hanger fully dressed in your gear. This mission wasn’t going to be all of you. It was just a simple mission to retrieve information from a Hydra base.
As you, Bucky, Steve and Nat got into the quinjet you tried to make eye contact with Bucky but he wouldn’t meet your gaze.
“Alright, Nat and I will go in through the front and (y/n) and Bucky will go through the back.” Steve said over the comm. “You two will take out anyone in your way and get to the communications room, there should be computers. Back up the information to a USB and get out of there as fast as you can. Nat and I will check for prisoners and take out anyone else. Everyone understand?”
We all nodded in unison. Thirty minutes later everyone was in position. You and Bucky made your way inside, working together to take out the four guards blocking the door. He still wouldn’t meet your gaze as you crept down the dark hallways. A man came from your left, you didn’t see him in time and there was a direct hit to your side, you crumpled to the ground as you heard Buckys metal arm hit the guy and he went down.
Bucky helped you to your feet, your face only inches apart. “Watch yourself next time.” He said in a flat tone as he turned to walk down the hall.
You reached out and grabbed his hand to pull him back. “What did I do that made you so upset?” You asked quietly.
His cold eyes bored into yours. “Why don’t you ask your boyfriend.”
You stood there shocked. “My-my what?”
He pulled his hand out of your grasp. “This isn’t the time for this.” He said as he turned and walked down the hallway turning into a room a few doors down.
Once you were in the room you told Steve and Nat over the comm that you had begun transferring the information.
When the screen read 94% there was yelling outside of the room you and Bucky were standing in.
He looked over at you and nodded. “Stay here, make sure it’s done.” With that he left the room.
Someone was thrown against the door.
There was a gun shot and a loud yell.
The door crashed in, Bucky and another man rolled into the room.
They both stood, the other man had noticed you. You reached for your gun.
There was a bang. Then a lot of pain, you looked down to see thick red blood coming from your stomach. You fell to the ground.
Bucky walked over to you, glanced down and took out the USB. You could see him saying something over the comm but couldn’t make it out. Your vision was starting to fade in and out.
He started to walk out of the room.
He was leaving? Why is he leaving? You thought urgently. Don’t.
“Don’t leave me behind.” It came out as a whisper but he tensed and you could tell he had heard you. Your eyes locked on his and your vision went black.
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