Horoscopes by Gil Hizon - Week of October 25 - 31, 2016
Friendship is like… expensive.
SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)
This week, expect the dark skies before you to part, revealing a place that would put the fucking Forest of Feelings to shame. Welcome to a colorful land filled with pink trees and mythical creatures. But be careful! If you stay too long, yo ass could end up becoming lost and before you know it, you’re knee deep in glitterized goo. Keep your wits about you, as nothing is perfect.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)
When it’s hard to tell what’s real or what’s not this week, it could cause you to wanna rip your face off. Whatever happened to your loosey goosey attitude? Perhaps, the past few weeks have hardened you (and not in a good way) and this week is the universe’s way of correcting your inner imbalance. My advice: don’t try to separate fantasy from reality. Riding that confusing wave can only knead them knots out.
CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)
You know what? A lot of people are tired of your impossible expectations. And many of us are getting the feeling that… whatever tirade you’re on, it ain’t about us. It’s possible that the demands you make of us, are demands you can’t fulfill for yourself. It feels unfair that we have to feel the brunt of your frustrations. Whatever it is that ails you, get the fuck over it.
AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)
Well someone certainly is a horny bitch this week. Whether you’re taken or not, the fact that it’s very easy to distract you with a hot body can be dangerous to your overall health. You really need to take care of all that inner frustration before you leave the building. Until then, you are not advised to operate any heavy machinery, you hear?
PISCES (February 19 – March 20)
We all know that there are other fantastical, big-fucking-picture things you’d rather do than be buried in your current monotonous work. What you’re not realizing is that this is not an all-or-nothing situation. If you think strategically, you’ll discover that you can find pockets of freedom from your boring tasks throughout the week and use them to indulge in fantasy and inspiration.
ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
Your problem this week is that you have waaay too many options. You’re like a LIBRA in a Banana Fucking Republic. But I swear to you, Ms. LIBBY is apt to handling a variety of choices, whereas you can waste time running from one option to another like a confused, overwhelmed queen. The key to conquering this week is by regaining focus of your mission statement and having the flexibility to prioritize.
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)
When it comes to a new potential for romance, side piece or not, you may be grasping at straws, thinking that there’s more there than what actually exists. Whatever mixed signals you may have gotten, it’s wise to stick to the real facts of your relationship with this other queen. It helps to be clear about your intentions from the get go, and until you know the real T, be cautious of the way you act around hurr.
GEMINI (May 21 – June 21)
The thing about showing vulnerability to others is that it may lead you to believe that you’re being weak. But really, queen, opening up to other hos about your personal trauma can only lead to strength, inspiring others to fess up about their own fears and hangups about themselves. This virus-like effect can make all of you realize that by revealing who you really are, it can only lead to a powerful solidarity.
CANCER (June 22 – July 22)
When it comes to a situation near and dear to your heart of hearts, there is a layer of bullshit that lies right on top of it. If something or someone feels off, trust that you’re not being paranoid. You are more intuitive than you fucking know, and you have every right to make sure that everyone involved is informed about the devil that lurks in the details.
LEO (July 23 – August 22)
A distorted point-of-view can be quite dangerous. Whether it’s an inflated sense of ego or a confused depiction of a situation, it’s never fun to find your way through such a haze. I wish I could tell you that this’ll all be over soon, but honestly gurl, that shit might linger on for a while. So until the path before you is free of fog and you feel safe to proceed, be cautious as fucking hell.
VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)
Oh, honey. You’re gonna need to focus real hard this week when it comes to shady bitches and tricky situations. Not every queen and ho is who they seem, and whatever facts you know about the circumstances, expect them to be scattered into fakery. Stick to the pieces you know are for reals, and build reality from there.
LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)
You’re kind of over the mundane this week. Whatever strips of cable that have tethered your reality to your fantasy, you want to fucking break them. Your desire to push away the monotony of your day-to-day responsibilities is so strong that you almost don’t care about who will be affected by this shit. There’s a time and place for that urge, and unfortch, this week ain’t one of them.
(DISCLAIMER for all entries: This is all a shitshow!)
For more Horoscopes By Gil Hizon, click here, gurl!
The worst of the head colds / coughs = all the naps, water, retriever snuggles … and difficulty feeling babes move. Sigh. Trying to just stay centered in the knowledge that sometimes, at 23 weeks, little bubs is going to be a little harder to feel. No fever, I’m staying hydrated, taking low doses of Tylenol. Just wishing I could feel one of those big thuds, you know?
Going to go through a drive through for something ridiculously sugary to drink to see if that stirs her (we don’t have that in the house usually, although today I certainly wish we did.)
Asexual Awareness Week: October 23-29th Once I realized Demi-sexual, Grey-sexual, and Asexual were an actual thing, I felt such relief. There wasn’t anything “wrong” with me, despite my partners assuming there was, and getting frustrated with me. It’s just how I (and a chunk of humanity) function.
I am single and recently took myself off dating sites. I feel myself leaning towards Grey-sexual these days. It’s such a rarity to come across people who even know what that is, nevermind wanting to hook up with someone like me, but I’m finally becoming ok with that.
“When I turned 20, people kept asking what changed about me.Actually, personally I think there isn’t any startling change. Just that I’m cherishing my memories each day more and more as the days go by”