23-weeks

This is a diagram of how abortion is carried out on a 23 week old fetus. The child is about a foot long and roughly one pound. He or she is starting to move and is developing blood vessels in their lung. They can hear your voice even if they cannot yet understand. The skin is thickening and fat storage begins. You can see the baby stretch as it’s arms and legs push at your belly. It is currently legal in the US to follow through with a second trimester abortion. This is only one of the three brutal procedures. Poisons are injected into the baby and it is torn limb from limb out of the mother. How can you justify this mass genocide?

I’m getting really wound up about people who don’t vaccinate their kids recently. I understand that it is a mother’s choice but honestly it’s selfish. When I got my bloods back at 14 weeks I discovered that I’m not immune to Rubella, which could have been fatal to my unborn child in my first trimester, but the doctor’s advice was not to worry because most people are vaccinated so the likely hood of contracting it before I can be vaccinated after delivery is low. 

Don’t be a dick.

Vaccinate your kids.

Don’t put other people in danger.

First day of class Magda with post-morning rain frizz and a 23 week belly. You can follow my “Feminist Perspectives on Culture” course on tumblr. The course, in short, is about badass feminist women doing badass feminist shit. I am looking forward to it and looking forward to learning with Women’s Studies students and being privy to their perspectives.

This is why I don’t post things on Facebook half of the time…
Up until we found out the sex of our baby, I didn’t really post anything about my pregnancy on Facebook. Why? Because Facebook is the land of “I’m going to give you my opinion on what you should do thru your entire pregnancy because this is your first child". Mmm-kay, I have 5 nieces and nephews, of which all of them I’ve taken care of since the day they were born and I have 2 sisters that can give me the advice I need.
Plus, people on FB are quick to throw out negative comments towards pregnancy. I don’t like that. It’s like, if you are going to comment on something, be inspiring and positive. Yes, I know my body will change and go thru things, but I’m CREATING A HUMAN….what do u expect? That doesn’t mean I want to hear the worst side of everything from you.
Then I have the people who don’t even half know me harassing me for a “baby bump" picture. Now I’m thinking to myself, this person hasn’t checked on me once thus far in my pregnancy… Why would I post anything that you ask for? Plus, I feel that’s a personal thing. A woman may not be comfy with her bump yet, or she may feel chubby…. Although that’s not the case for me, I’m just a private person and I feel more comfy posting a bump pic on here than on FB. **Sigh** Why cant people just say “Congratulations" and move on.

What pregnancy is like

I want to eat everything yet nothing sounds good.
I haven’t seen my feet in what feels like 80 years.
I cried because the house needed cleaned.
The father worked at Taco Bell. I had his work number in my phone as “Tacos MMM”
All the sweet foods BELONG IN MY BELLY. All the spicy foods BELONG 32075435 FEET AWAY.
Woke up at 5:30am pissed off confused and hungry. Pregnancy why.
I’m starting to feel like a walking petting zoo.
This guy keeps texting me between 3am and 8am. Stuff like, “Do you like your toilet seat warm before you sit on it?” You know what I like AT 4 IN THE MORNING? UNDISTURBED SLEEP.
All the glorious naps.
“I’m hungry but I finally found a comfortable spot on the bed” - a book by me.
Clothes? Why yes I would like some clothes. Nothing fits anymore.
I want massaged but don’t touch me.
Pregnancy brain is real. I put shampoo on my head before my hair was wet.
Last week I had a donut in one hand and a pickle in the other.

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23 weeks 2 days
Soon enough, these little movements and kicks will turn into the pitter patter of tiny feet. I never knew it was possible to love someone so much that I have never met. My heart is whole.

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Body dysmorphia during pregnancy is a real thing. I feel like I’m so much rounder and bigger than what the scale says.

The other day I ran into a coworker who hadn’t noticed I was pregnant yet (we don’t have many meetings together) and she gushed and told me 3x how beautiful I looked that day. I almost kissed her on the mouth.

My doctors appt. -- 23 weeks.

Well, my doctors appt. went O.K. today. He was a little behind & we didn’t get in until an hour after my scheduled appointment. Which is fine, I don’t blame him at all. They had training going on. Kynlee is doing great!! She kicked for the doctor today >.< so cute. All her measurements from our last ultrasound were normal. :) 

Next appointment I have to get my glucose testing done.. fun fun. 

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Win - 23 Weeks

Solid foods are on my mind lately. We’re having a hard time waiting until 6 months with this guy. He really wants food, and it’s making meal time difficult. If I put him in his floor seat he whines the entire time, and if I hold him on my lap he aggressively lunges for any and all food, even if I give him a fun toy to hold. Yesterday he knocked over my cereal bowl.

If he was sitting up a little bit better we would just go for it, but he isn’t there yet. He’s still pretty wobbly in his high hair, so that makes me think we should hold off for now. I caved today though and gave him a bit of banana in one of those little mesh feeder things because he was whining so much at breakfast, and that made him happy as a clam.

Aside from his inability to sit unassisted, I have other hesitations about starting solids. It’s all just a delay of the inevitable, but I’m really not looking forward to the messiness of it all. Mashed up food everywhere, all over the baby, the high chair, the floor. And why must bananas, the most baby friendly fruit, stain so badly? Then there is the stinky, sticky poop, which means I’ll also have the added chore of spraying off the poopy diapers before they can go in the pail. Breastmilk poop is just so pleasant, as poop goes. I’m really going to miss it.

Of course there is an emotional element as well. He is my baby–possibly my last baby–and I’m just not ready for him to be at this stage. I’m not ready for his warm, milky smell to be replaced with the smell of the smashed banana that he will smear in his hair. I want to be able to experience his babyhood a bit longer. I don’t need him rushing ahead. I’m not ready for him to be ready.

I just don’t know what to do. I don’t remember Eleanor acting this way at all. Actually, she had a very “take it or leave it” attitude about food until she was well over one year old. But with Win, I’m at the point now where I honestly feel mean for withholding food from him. He watches me eat and smacks his bare gums together, like he knows exactly what is going on. Maybe I’ll continue to give him small bits of fruits and veggies in the mesh feeder just to keep him placated while the rest of us eat, and then start Baby Led Weaning in earnest once he is sitting strongly.