2014 1

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as someone who also witnessed it, i don’t blame you minghao

How much independence?

(November 2011)

(August 2013)


In my opinion, when One Direction (usually Liam) have spoken about control, they aren’t talking about public actions, promotional strategies, and publicity. They are speaking about artistic control and the creative process—songwriting, production—their sound. Did they have more and more writing and involvement with each of their albums? Yes. And it’s extremely important to them. They didn’t get to choose their singles, though. (Consider, too, did they choose their merch? Were they eager to release yet anotherwas it the fourth??—perfume? Or a 1D make-up line? No.)


30 October 2012

November 2012 (no link)

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Kris Kremers and Lisanne Froon were Dutch students who disappeared on April 1, 2014, while hiking in Panama. After an extensive search, portions of their bodies were found a few months later although how they died could not be determined.

[INFO] EXO Becomes 1st Boy Group Ever to Achieve 100 GROUP Wins on Music Shows (not including subunits, solos) They are the only group besides SNSD to reach this number!

Call Me Baby: 18
Growl: 14
Overdose: 12
Love Me Right: 11
Miracles in December: 10
Monster: 9
Lotto: 7
Wolf: 4
Sing For You: 3
December 2014 and For Life: 1 

And lastly as of 08/10/17, KokoBop: 10

TOTAL: 100 music show wins!

No one can deny that they are now truly legends in their own right. Congratulations EXO! (X)

Originally posted by 12fools

10

JOURNEY TO FEARLESS.

BORN- November 7th, 2008
DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER- October 15, 2013
FIRST BIG BREAK IN FIGHT- January 2, 2014
TUMOR INACTIVE- May 1, 2014
GOT TO HUG THE HUMAN THAT HELPED HER THROUGH HER FIGHT- May 7, 2014
TUMORS RETURN- November 18, 2014
TUMORS INACTIVE- December 18, 2014
TUMORS RETURN- February 20, 2015
TUMORS GROW NEAR OPTIC NERVE WITH RISK OF SPREADING- August 20, 2015
SURGERY TO REMOVE EYE COMPROMISED FROM CANCER- September 3, 2015
CANCER FREE- SEPTEMBER 23, 2015
1 YEAR CANCER FREE- September 23, 2016
2 YEARS CANCER FREE- September 23, 2017

@taylorswift, I don’t know if you remember my niece, Khloe. You planned a visit to CHLA in 2014 specifically to meet her after seeing her story and hashtag all over Instagram. You spent about 40 minutes with her talking, laughing, and making her feel loved and important. It was one of the best days. I don’t know if you’ll ever fully comprehend the impact of that day on her and our family during that time. You brought such a breath of fresh air to all of us when we felt like we were drowning. And it’s a day we held onto throughout the rest of her fight. In 2015, she was battling cancer again and it was very serious. The tumors started to impact her eyesight and it got to the point where she could only see shadows in her right eye. They were growing near her optic nerve and there was the big risk that it could spread to the rest of her body if she didn’t have surgery to remove her eye. We actually found out the day before your 1st LA show of the 1989 tour. Since finding out the news, it was all a blur but that night at the show, we forgot everything that was happening outside of those walls. Khlo wasn’t a child with cancer, she was just a child having the time of her life watching her favorite perform all the songs that brought her happiness in her hard times. You did that. I actually blew my savings to surprise her with floor seats to the last of the LA shows. At one point in the show I lifted her up above the crowd and she wholeheartedly believes you smiled at her and she kept asking me if I thought you remembered her. I always replied the same, ‘There is no way anyone could ever forget you.’ I post this all because I remember watching an interview years back when you said one of the hardest parts of your job is meeting children battling cancer and then returning to the hospital years later and them not being there. So I just want you to know, Khlo did battle cancer twice more, and it did steal her sight from her right eye, but it didn’t steal her from us. Her FEARLESS heart still beats strong. She still absolutely LOVES you and still has her dance parties to your music. The difference is that now it’s no longer in hospital rooms but in her own. Thank you for being a constant source of happiness for her. I always loved you on my own but the fact that I get to love you through her, is what makes me thankful for you everyday.

A few of Eddie’s journal entries over the years

6 years old:

August 10, 2006:

Some asshole of a child ruined my favorite shorts today by pushing me into the mud. Bill yelled at him and I cried. Stan from school was there with him. The kid who pushed me bought me ice cream a little after. He walked me home and talked the whole time. I don’t think he brushed his hair at all.

August 11 , 2006: 

Bill and I went into the woods today. His mother played us some music while we had snack. I went to the pharmacy to get refills. 

August  12, 2006:

Bill was busy today and couldn’t hang out. I spend the day watching TV with mom. I didn’t speak much today. 

August 13, 2006:

Bill was busy again today. I went to the park to get out of the house. The boy with the hair from 3 days ago was there. He sat with me and talked a lot and really fast. He knows a lot about dinosaurs and numbers. It made my head hurt a little in a nice way. We went to the deli together. 

He reminds me of the broken wind up toy that I have that doesn’t stop moving even when the pin stops turning. I love that toy.

August 14, 2006:

I had to stay in bed today because mom said my allergies would act up in the weather. I really wanted to go to the park with my friends. 

August 15, 2006:

Stan was at the park with his dad when I went. He was looking at birds and let me sit with them. He let me use his binoculars. I didn’t really speak today. 

August 17, 2006:

Mom’s friend came over. She smells like dirty dishes and the red grownup juice mommy drinks at night. Nothing really happened today. I didn’t talk much.

August 18, 2006:

I spend the whole day in the quarry with Bill. I told my mom I was at the park down the block. I’m worried she’ll know I lied.

August 19, 2006:

The boy with the hair has a name. Stan says his name is Richard but he likes to be called Richie. Stan thinks kids like shorter things and we might grow into our full names. Sometimes I think his thoughts sound like mine.

Richie was at the park when we went and I like listening to him talk. I learn a lot. He got sand in his hair and shook it on Stan. Bill laughed really hard. Today a lot happened. It was nice.

August 20, 2006:

I don’t feel like writing but I promised I would write everyday. I didn’t talk except for when the teacher called on me.

9 years old

March 10, 2009:

Richie howled the whole way from the quarry back to his house on his bike. He says it tricks the werewolves into thinking you are one of them. He says he’s not scared of werewolves but he does this every full moon. He gets mad if I don’t do it with him.

 So I howled until I needed to use my inhaler. Funny how fear works. 

March 11, 2009:

Bowers is a bully. That is all.

March 12, 2009:

Bill’s stutter was really bad today. He couldn’t say any of our names very well. We went to his house after school and we watched Mulan. He didn’t stutter on any of lyrics. Stan noticed, too, I think.

March 13, 2009:

Some kids were saying I’m still using training wheels because I’m small and I’ll break in pieces if I fall down. Sometimes I think they are right. I feel like one of those dolls that will shatter if I fall too hard. I hate it. I don’t like dolls. I’m not a doll. 

March 14, 2009:

Richie is a fucking jerk. I told him I was ok with the training wheels but he took them off my bike. He threw them away in the dumpster he knows makes my voice stop working.

I fell off the bike. My leg is all cut up and I had to use the big band-aids that I don’t have a lot of. When I finally got back he pushed me off and rode away on his. I wanted to hit him I was so angry.

I learned how to ride a bike today. Richie is still a jerk, though. 

March 15, 2009:

I’m not allowed to leave the house today. My mom didn’t like that I got hurt.

March 16, 2009:

I went bird watching with Stan and his father again. It was nice and still. Stan gave me a list of all the birds we saw and it is on my wall now. We saw 10 birds. It was a really fun day.

March 17, 2009:

Reason 78 that Richie is a jerk happened today. He took my inhaler and used it as a punchline for a joke. I’m mad at myself for laughing at it. I had to use it right after, because sometimes when I laugh too hard my lungs break. 

March 18, 2009:

Pharmacy after school today. I hate pharmacy days. Bill came with me and bought skittles. We shared them and went to his house to do homework. Georgie is getting really big. I remember the night Bill stayed over my house because he was being born. 

Time is weird. 

March 19, 2009: 

Richie wasn’t in school today. Stan said that Richie wasn’t sick so I don’t understand why he didn’t come in. 

March 20, 2009:

Richie sat out of gym with me today. He said his leg was hurting him. It was nice to have company for once on the bleachers, but I know Richie would have rather been running around with the other kids. He spend the whole period playing with my hands and hair and laughing when I slapped at his hands. I gave up and now ended up getting a knot in my hair.  

12 years old:

June 6, 2012:

My lungs were broken all day today. I couldn’t speak, I could barely look at anyone. Bill bought me skittles and I almost cried. 

I went home early from hanging out with my boys because everything was making my allergies act up. 

Richie came through my window and says he will sing me to sleep if I like. I have good friends.

July 20, 2012

A lot happened today. The kid who I sometimes talk to at the library was almost killed by Bowers. We’ve gained a new member, and I think I love him a little already. His name his Ben and I think Richie likes him a little, too. He kept doing his voice more than usual today while we were trying to help him. I found my forth forever friend, I think

Anyone who Gretta hates is a good person in my books. Beverly Marsh is amazing, and I think I can now finally ask her about how she makes her face look so wonderful without it being creepy. I want to know her my whole life. She is my fifth forever friend. 

July 24, 2012:

We threw rocks at Bowers and I gained another forever friend. Mike is wonderful. I think maybe everything about this summer is going to be important. Sixth forever friend found. I think I don’t need anymore after this.

August 10, 2012:

I don’t think I will never sleep well again. 

September 13, 2012:

I think I might like Richie the way I’m suppose to like girls.

 I’m scared to tell anyone so I don’t think I will. But it is hard to not look at him. He is really pretty, even though my mom says boys can’t be pretty. 

Maybe that is what it is really about. The curls and how beautiful he is. I’m sure I’ll like a girl soon. I’m just smaller than everyone else. Maybe I need time to catch up.

 He’s just really pretty, and sometimes I think whatever is up there wouldn’t make things pretty if they weren’t meant to be looked at and taken are of. Speaking of, he’s coming through my window now. 

I’ll write more tomorrow. 

October 9, 2012:

We were all together again today. My heart felt lighter than it has in a while.

14 years old

May 27th, 2014:

I spend almost the whole day with Stan and his father. We talked alot. Then I went over Bill’s house. 

Things were good today and my head felt mostly ok.

June 1, 2014:

Woke up feeling heavy. Something was different about Richie today and it took me a long time to figure out h ditched his glasses. I’m going to miss them, but he looks happier. That’s good. 

july 5 2014:

I can’t sleep. When I do I wake up far away. I stayed up, but I think Rich was having a nightmare. He woke up and wouldn’t let me leave the bed, which is fine. I don’t think I would have been able to get up anyway. 

July 10, 2014:

Hung out with the Losers today. 

July 11, 2014:

Hung out with the Losers again today. Ben and I cuddled. It was nice. I missed actually feeling being with them all. I missed them

July 12, 2014:

Almost used my inhaler today. Had to remind myself it wasn’t a real need.

July 13, 2014:

I don’t remember anything. I don’t think my head spend any time inside of my body. I can’t remember if I spoke today. 

September 7, 2014:

Richie spend most of today playing with my hair and fingers, but not how he usually does. He wasn’t fidgeting. I don’t know what he was doing, but anytime he was close enough his hands were on me. I think this boy may kill me. 

December 30, 2014:

I had too many panic attacks to count today. Used the inhaler Richie keeps with him for some reason. Didn’t talk at all. I should not have gotten out of bed. 

15 years old

October 13, 2015:

Saw the therapist for the first time today. That’s not what I want to write about. Richie was there when I got out. 

I love this boy and I think I have to live with that knowledge now. Guess I’m gay. Or at least, I love a boy