2013 daily

7

“You just have to decide what kind of a man you want to grow up to be, Clark; because whoever that man is, good character or bad, he’s… He’s gonna change the world.”

Man of Steel (2013) dir. Zack Snyder

Fresh start.

The new year provides the cleanest sense of a fresh start that I can find. For a person with OCD, one that struggles with the impossible hope of perfection, it has extra weight. I’m always talking of perfect and how it doesn’t exist, and I suppose it’s a broken but necessary record for me to play because it reminds me of deep breaths and curbs the urge to feel so crushed by any small or large misfires. In that way, I should not be so excited by the illusory fresh start, the New Year. It’s bad for the part of me that seeks perfect. It says, “Maybe this time you’ll get it right.” That’s how I go haywire, and it’s right from the beginning.

I know all this and today is but another day. Yet I’m wound and wound around a fresh start, unable to help myself.

And we kept saying how we’d never stay in Los Angeles forever, how it’s not a forever-place. Except this morning, staring at my pants in the closet, I thought that we’d eventually just find ourselves having stayed here forever. You and me and everyone else we know in different formations or pairings, maybe, with lives that have gotten bulky or skeletal from all of the decisions and the choices and the living. We’ll be closer to the water somehow in an old house with all of the old things we’ve collected as we’ve collectively gotten older. You and me and everyone else, older and still here. Because I don’t want to wear pants, and here I can most often wear last year’s pants that I’ve hacked off above the knee, and I can most often wear some T-shirt I’ve had for so long and washed and washed till it’s gotten thin around the bones in my shoulders. And when it’s the first day of spring and it’s not snowing and it’s overcast but it’s not cold, not cold the way that other people know cold and live with cold, we will just wander out of the house in whatever with our hair saying whatever and our faces saying whatever and our mouths saying whatever. Of course there will be those times when the ground got upset and our whole houses moved on their own, but then I’ll think about how I, too, get upset—you and me and everyone else, we get upset sometimes—and so…whatever. Hollywood will still hang around the corner with a wide white smile that’s so horrific I gasp and shake my head and maybe laugh, and I’ll have to force-remember how there is a lot of everything else here too. There is a lot, and that is what has made this not a forever-place and a place we’ve found ourselves staying forever, looking at our aging faces in the mirror fifteen, twenty, thirty years later and seeing palm trees out the window behind us. Sit on the sofa, stare at the wall, walk by the ocean, run. You and me and everyone else we know, different but still holding onto some shred of the same, in tiny colored boxes, living our secret little lives.

anonymous asked:

Do you think it is possible that other people working on the bbc are doing this twitter thing willingly by themselves because they were disappointed? I mean, someone doing this without being told so by mofftiss. Or is this not likely?

i think that’s unlikely. go on twitter.com/contactsh and see for yourself how much work it’s being put into updating it + the balance of probability that someone with access to that part of the bbc building would be so into johnlock that they’d create that account (in 2013!) and update it daily ever since s4 aired without being told to do so by any bbc sherlock decision-maker seems pretty low to me 

8

So it’s my favourite person in the world’s birthday and honestly, where did the time go?? I’ve loved this dork since 2013 and started up Daily Robbie Kay last year, finally jumping into the void of Tumblr. Earlier in the year, he changed his Twitter profile picture to one of my edits and I’m pretty sure I cried for a solid 10 minutes I have no shame. Practically everyone knows about my “little obsession” (including Sean Maguire, out of all people…) and I’m patiently waiting until I can meet him and hopefully not faint. Words can’t describe how much I adore and love him.

Happy 21st birthday, Robbie Kay ♥ 13.09.1995