2012-halloween

Service Offered: Professional Third Wheel

Unwanted suitors? Not sure if you’re on a date? To nice to turn him down? I can help! With nearly four years of experience sabotaging romantic encounters, I’m the uncomfortable silence you deserve… and now, I’m offering my services professionally. 

Bring me along as a platonic bufferzone on unwanted or ambiguous dates with suitors you’re not interested in but don’t know how to turn down. Guaranteed to kill the mood or your money back!

Basic services include: Terrible puns, poorly-timed jokes, casual physical displays of affection, bringing up unappealing facts about you (to be established or fabricated ahead of time), including myself in attempts at cuddling, domineering the conversation, irritating laughter, talking about I may have finally found an apartment for rent that’s big enough to house all of your cats, subtly making remarks about how nice it is that you’ve made a new friend. 

More advanced services: Creating diversions (available at tiers 1, 2, and 3; examples include pouring water over my head, impromptu hula dancing, and  triggering alarms), intimate displays of physical affection, accidentally spilling drinks on your suitor’s clothing, laughing at everything your suitor says while drinking until I manage to time it so that water comes out of my nose and sprays onto them. 

 Package deals: 

  • The Gay Best Friend: What it sounds like. Because this persona runs the risk of stereotype and exploitation, I prefer to keep this subtle. Willing to engage in mild flirtation with your suitor. Please use discretion when requesting this service; the intention is to make him realize that your feelings towards him are platonic. Do not even consider this package if he is aggressively homophobic. 
  • The Imposing Older Brother: I scowl, smirk, and huff judgmentally. Comes in two flavors: the Violent Ex-Con and the Insufferable Elitist. Can flex my physical or intellectual muscles as needed. 
  • The Irritating Younger Brother: I bring a gaming device along, snicker rudely and roll my eyes whenever he speaks, complain about the time, chew with my mouth open, shrug indifferently, prop my sneakers on his chair, wipe my nose on my hand, and bluntly interrupt the conversation whenever it strays out of your comfort zone. 
  • The Priest: Why the heck would you bring your priest on a date?! I don’t know, and neither will your suitor! Obfuscate them into backing off. If that doesn’t work, I will recite dry Biblical passages until they are driven away by crushing boredom or fear of Hell. 
  • The Son from The Future: Depending on the age difference, I can also pose as your Son from the Current Era. Will dress in conspicuously unusual clothing (ex. holographic baseball cap, life preserver, roller skates, VISOR-like sunglasses), continuously ask for the date and time, and anxiously mutter about how it’s almost time for you to ditch this place and meet my father for the first time.
  • The Enslaved Zombie Ex-Boyfriend: I don milky, semi-opaque contact lenses and follow you around mindlessly, with jerky, unnatural movements. I am at your beck and call, controlled from beyond the grave by your occult powers - the fate of all the boyfriends who displease you.  
  • The Demon Prince: I wear a stylish fawn suit, soft kidskin gloves, and silver cuff-links etched with strange symbols. I have a ring or a cane decorated with the head of a ram. I say little, but smile often. Now and then, I pull out a little silver hourglass from a chain around my neck and examine it, tapping my foot, my fingers, or my cane impatiently. I adopt a curious and subtle accent and ask him to appraise his immortal soul. I carry a sleek briefcase rigged to emit a bright light if I crack it open a hair. Optional: I carry a cube of sulfur in my pocket for the smell.
  • The Mulder: A proven classic. I periodically derail the conversation with crackpot conspiracy theories, the nature of reality, extraterrestrial intelligence, and ESP. May accuse your suitor of being a Reptilian, or demand that they feel the scar where I had an alien implant removed. Insist that we change tables because this one is bugged and we are under surveillance by the secret shadow government.    
  • The Fiance You Thought Was Lost at Sea: I burst through the door, dripping wet, with barnacle-encrusted clothing and a crab dangling from my ear lobe. I’ll smell of brine and have a haunted look in my eye. This will require some acting skills from you; you’ll need to throw yourself sobbing into my arms and cry, “I thought I’d lost you!” and I’ll hold you and mutter something about Davy Jones getting ahead of himself.  
  • Other: I am happy to work with you to develop a persona specific to your unique needs and preferences. 

Rates: Sliding scale, determined by me on a case-by-case basis. I want to make my services available to all who need them. Factors such as the relative heinousness of suitor is considered; affluent clients can generally expect to pay more as likelihood of physical or spiritual harm increases. For swanky dates in nice locations with minimal levels of danger, I typically ask only that you cover the cost of my meal, entrance fees, transportation, and other expenses.

IMPORTANT:
Although I am prepared to deal with any number of eventualities, I am not a professional: bodyguard, assassin, exorcist, crocodile hunter, or escort. If you expect that any of these services will become necessary, I am happy to put you in touch with a specialist. ADDITIONALLY: If your suitor is non-human, please be upfront with this so that we can plan accordingly. We do not want a repeat of the events of Halloween 2012.

ADDENDUM 2014: I reserve the right to terminate our deal at any time. This is a exclusively a professional relationship, and any physical or romantic affection we may share may be considered performance and unrelated to my personal feelings.
ADDENDUM 2015: If you are trying to orchestrate a set-up because you get off on watching your significant other jealously beat the crap out of perceived rivals, fuck you. Vengeance will be swift.

imthesegagirl  asked:

I went as Sonic for Halloween 2012, and a ton of people recognized me. It felt so good. XD

I cosplayed as Sonic once at a convention in Texas and a ton of people screamed GO FAST at me xDDD 

I also cosplayed as Shadow and four girls got up suddenly saying “Sh—Sha” and I ran. 

Like ran…

So…I guess that’s in character LOL 

Every Dan and Phil video in the London Apartment in order

I made a list of every single Dan and Phil video that they have uploaded since they first moved into their, (now old), London apartment. I have left out any YouTube Red videos but have included videos from all 6 channels, (danisnotonfire, AmazingPhil, danisnotinteresting, LessAmazingPhil, DanandPhilGAMES and DanandPhilCRAFTS).

If you think the order is wrong or any of the links are incorrect please let me know and I will try to correct it.

(I spent WAY too much time on this but oh well)

Keep reading

I took away his ride for messing with mine.

Halloween 2012. It was around 2am and I had just arrived back home from a neighbourhood party. As I walked towards my house and the porch light came on, I couldn’t help but notice that the left side of my car was completely covered in egg. All over the window, all over the door, all down the front windscreen and underneath the window wipers too. I was naturally infuriated, but it was Halloween after all, I had just gotten unlucky. I grabbed a kitchen roll from the house and proceeded to spend 15 minutes trying to get egg off of my car in the dark. After thinking I had finally succeeded, I decided to sit in the car with a cigarette on the driveway, and call my friend. This is where it begins. As I was sat there, I could see through the rear-view mirror a car going past my house, slowing down, turning around and driving past again. It must have happened 4-5 times. ‘What if these were the people who had egged my car?’ I thought. I explained to my friend I needed to go, put the phone down and continued to watch this car acting really strangely on the road out front, until finally it stopped, 2 meters in front of my driveway. The engine went off, and through the darkness I could make out a tall hooded figure slowly depart from his crap-mobile and walk up to the rear of my car. He was checking around him, and looking in the direction of the house, before he crouched down behind my car and went out of sight. Was this the guy who had vandalized my car. What’s he up to now? Without hesitation I launched myself out of the driver’s seat and charged around the side of my driveway. He was obviously not expecting that, as he bolted away from the house (and his car) down the street in a record beating sprint. I looked down and saw two massive rockets (fireworks) stuffed in to my car’s exhaust, which he was about to light WHILST I WAS SAT IN THE CAR. By this time he was well out of sight, so I walked up to his car. He had left the window down on the driver’s side. I put my head through and saw two sheepish chaps sitting there silently, staring at me in complete horror - and to my surprise, his car keys were still in the ignition. I quickly yanked them out and walked back in to my house.

I had taken his car as prisoner on my driveway.

Without hesitation I was on the phone to the police. They said they were on the way and wanted to know where this guy was. By this time he had come back to the house and began banging on the front door shouting threats and demanding his keys back. Then the flashing lights came. I stood there holding his keys whilst he was swiftly arrested for attempted arson and vandalism. Halloween was complete.

I still have no idea who he was or why he was targeting me. I did get a thank you from the police because he was 'known’ to them though. The car was removed first thing in the morning, and I assume his friends bailed out the car before the police came.

Signs As Horror Movies

Aries: Cabin In The Woods (2012)

Taurus: Halloween (1978)

Gemini: It Follows (2014)

Cancer: Nightbreed (1990)

Leo: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

Virgo: Suspira (1977)

Libra: The Fly (1986)

Scorpio: Saw (2004)

Sagittarius: Fright Night (1985)

Capricorn: Evil Dead II (1987)

Aquarius: Ginger Snaps (2000)

Pisces: Let The Right One In (2008)


If this post gets enough notes I will do another one maybe on certain decades or another subject! Hope you enjoy.

I took away his ride for messing with mine.

Halloween 2012. It was around 2am and I had just arrived back home from a neighbourhood party. As I walked towards my house and the porch light came on, I couldn’t help but notice that the left side of my car was completely covered in egg. All over the window, all over the door, all down the front windscreen and underneath the window wipers too. I was naturally infuriated, but it was halloween after all, I had just gotten unlucky. I grabbed a kitchen roll from the house and proceeded to spend 15 minutes trying to get egg off of my car in the dark. After thinking I had finally succeeded, I decided to sit in the car with a cigarette on the driveway, and call my friend. This is where it begins. As I was sat there, I could see through the rear-view mirror a car going past my house, slowing down, turning around and driving past again. It must have happened 4-5 times. ‘What if these were the people who had egged my car?’ I thought. I explained to my friend I needed to go, put the phone down and continued to watch this car acting really strangely on the road out front, until finally it stopped, 2 meters in front of my driveway. The engine went off, and through the darkness I could make out a tall hooded figure slowly depart from his crap-mobile and walk up to the rear of my car. He was checking around him, and looking in the direction of the house, before he crouched down behind my car and went out of sight. Was this the guy who had vandalised my car. What’s he up to now? Without hesitation I launched myself out of the driver’s seat and charged around the side of my driveway. He was obviously not expecting that, as he bolted away from the house (and his car) down the street in a record beating sprint. I looked down and saw two massive rockets (fireworks) stuffed in to my car’s exhaust, which he was about to light WHILST I WAS SAT IN THE CAR. By this time he was well out of sight, so I walked up to his car. He had left the window down on the driver’s side. I put my head through and saw two sheepish chaps sitting there silently, staring at me in complete horror - and to my surpise, his car keys were still in the ignition. I quickly yanked them out and walked back in to my house.

I had taken his car as prisoner on my driveway.

Without hesitation I was on the phone to the police. They said they were on the way and wanted to know where this guy was. By this time he had come back to the house and began banging on the front door shouting threats and demanding his keys back. Then the flashing lights came. I stood there holding his keys whilst he was swiftly arrested for attempted arson and vandalism. Halloween was complete.

I still have no idea who he was or why he was targeting me. I did get a thank you from the police because he was 'known’ to them though. The car was removed first thing in the morning, and I assume his friends bailed out the car before the police came.

Can we

Talk about

Raph’s Halloween costume

aND WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS!?!?!?!

can we talk about how hot he really looks

Macabre-of-horror’s recommended film list
  • Deliver Us From Evil (2014)
  • The Last Will and Testament of Rosalind Leigh (2012)
  • Satan’s School for Girls (1973)
  • The Amityville Horror (remake 2005)
  • A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
  • The Devil’s Rejects (2005)
  • The Ring (2002)
  • Drag Me to Hell (2009)
  • Insidious (2010)
  • Insidious: Chapter 2 (2013)
  • Silence of the Lambs (1991)
  • Oculus (2013)
  • Orphan (2009)
  • Sinister (2012)
  • Halloween 1-8  (1978-2002)
  • Rob Zombie’s Halloween (2007)
  • The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
  • The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974 and remake 2003)
  • The Woman in Black (2012)
  • The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death (2014)
  • The Conjuring (2013)
  • The Possession (2012)
  • Mama (2013)
  • Scream 1-4 (1996-2011)
  • The Pact (2012)
  • Saw 1-7 (2004-2010)
  • The Grudge 1-3 (2004-2009)
  • Wrong Turn (2003)
  • The Others (2001)
  • The Shining (1980)
  • Carrie (1976 and remake 2013)
  • It (1990)
  • House at the End of the Street (2012)
  • The Omen (1976 and remake 2006)
  • Maniac (2012)
  • The Purge: Anarchy (2014)
  • You’re Next (2011)
  • 13 Sins (2014)
  • American Mary (2012)
  • Misery (1990)
  • The Cabin in the Woods (2012)
  • Cannibal Holocaust (1980)
  • Friday the 13th (1980 and remake 2009)
  • Shutter Island (2010)
  • American Psycho (2000)
  • The Babadook (2014)
  • When a Stranger Calls (2006)
  • The Loved Ones (2009)
  • The People Under the Stairs (1991)
  • Fargo (1996)
  • The House of the Devil (2009)
  • The Collection (2012)
  • The Seasoning House (2012)
  • The Poughkeepsie Tapes (2005)
  • The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2005)
  • It Follows (2014)
  • Evidence (2013)
  • Jessabelle (2014)

Happy Halloween, 2012.

Role reversal has always been a common prompt in fandom culture, is all I have to say. The spirit of Halloween probably doesn’t have anything to do with bondage, but you can’t deny Daniel is a creepy little fruitcake once the insanity kicks in. Yes, I did in fact draw this as a Halloween illustration. Don’t ask me why.

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Halloween Hallmark Commercial - Late 80’s to Early 90’s [10/04/2012’s Pick]