A dive down an thought rabbit hole* led to my googling my ex-wife for the first time in a couple of years and her LinkedIn profile, where I discovered that she “worked” for a company called Elit Solutions from June 1994 (when she would have been 24, and was actually a stay-at-home mom of her two small babies) through March 2013, four years after our divorce.
The company, of course, doesn’t exist. It DID exist for about a year in 2001, after I made it up when she was going to try her hand at web development, but the only thing it ever made was the logo I designed and a CafePress coffee cup containing the logo.
Oh, and apparently the copy above on her LinkedIn profile. So a branded coffee cup (there may have been a hat, too) and wire fraud**.
Now, of course, there are a couple of companies called “Elit Solutions” but they’re all in Spain or some shit.
* Rabbit hole process: Notice local alt-weekly in Memphis now requires facebook login for comments > Check that article to see if there are any fun comments > Spot a link to the “Best of Memphis” article, wonder what might have changed > Read article, see that sandwich place has opened an East Memphis location > Remember that ex loved one particular sandwich from that place, also that her birthday is tomorrow, check to see if she still lives in Memphis.
** With qualifications like these I expect her to have a senior position in the Trump administration any day now.