200 proof

i’m pretty sure even a straight historical figure having been married to someone isn’t proof that they were attracted to that person. we can acknowledge that straight people sometimes have marriages of convenience or necessity, but suddenly when it’s a historical figure who’s known to have been interested in the same sex we’re sure any straight marriages they had were definitely 200% genuine and irrefutable proof that they weren't gay, funny how that works

Episode 200: Why Were You Like This

The time has come to wrap up my thoughts on Episode 200. Not a task I’m looking forward to, in part because it’s the signal that I’m really done, and in part because I’m still pretty upset at how much complaining I’m about to do.

You have disappointed me greatly, Episode 200.

This isn’t how I wanted the finale to go. It failed me on pretty much every possible level, from storytelling and pacing to character interaction and emotional resonance. I can’t tell you how much I don’t want to conclude this liveblog project with a post yelling at an episode. BUT HERE WE ARE. I’ve not pulled my punches on any of the previous 199 episodes, and I’m not going to start now.

Episode 200, then. How it was a shitty series finale, and every last way I’m bitterly disappointed.


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anonymous asked:

Feysand in which Rhys dances with their daughter 😁😁😁. I'm crazy tbh

You are not crazy at all, trust me. This is essentially 200 proof domestic fluff.

I imagine this follows the previous string of domestic baby fluff

Rhys saw her out of the corner of his eye as soon as she padded into the room, letting her tug on his sleeve before he looked down from his desk.

“Daddy?” Lilith asked quietly, her bare feet turned inwards on the thick carpet. “Mama said you’d dance with me if I asked nicely.”

He grinned. “Did she now?” He scooped his daughter up, sitting her in his lap. He pushed a thread of questioning down his bond with Feyre, but she poked innocently back from the bedroom where he could feel her rocking their fussy newborn son.

Lilith’s chubby fingers ran over the dark embroidery on his sleeves.  “I want to stand on your feet again.”  He idly rolled up the sleeve of her nightgown that had come down over her small hands, the gift from Mor still too big for her.

“I think that can be arranged,” he said as she squirmed out of his arms, dark hair frizzing about her head, her wings splaying crooked from her body.  She’d learn to control them soon enough, but until then, he and Feyre just had to deal with the scrapes along the wall where her talons, small and sharp as puppy teeth, dragged against the paint.

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How to Bonetrousle the DMon

(Context: Shit is going down in the town, and the impulsive grippli slayer decided to take a swig of alcohol magically enhanced to be way stronger than 200 proof, and is down for the count. The summoner decides to call in a favor from his skeletal demon acquaintance to help.)

DM: Unfortunately, I can’t get the voice filter working.

Fighter: Just do your best Skeletor voice.

Slayer: (In Skeletor voice) You fool, I am the master of EVIL!

DM: …Why should I do it when you can do it for me?

(So the DM starts posting the lines in the chat for the Slayer to read. In-character lines are in quotations.)

Slayer reading Demon’s lines: “Needing my help twice in two days? My, but you rack up debts!” Nyeh heh heh! “What do you wish of me?”

Summoner: “Oh this is simple. There’s a fight going on, but my friend is too drunk to do anything. Could you help with that?”

Slayer as Demon: “Thou art more akin to chaos than order, to risk defilement for curing drunkenness.”

Summoner: “I’m willing to risk defilement for a lot of things.”

Slayer as Demon: “Very well, I shall cure the frog. However, this is the second time thou hast imposed upon mine good graces.” Come my next conquest we will best that He-Man, and you will help!

Fighter: You need to add more innuendoes.

Slayer as Demon: My magic staff is reserved for the most high quality individuals, with the most high quality assets! 

Slayer as Demon: “They say three times pays for all, so I shall give thee a third boon, one fitting for your temperament.” You have to help me awake my stupid brother Sans! He has been asleep for three days and refuses to do the dishes!

Fighter: That’s not a boon, that’s a chore!

Slayer as Demon: It’s the gift of charity, he gives it to you so you may give it back!


There are a Dwarf Paladin, Human Rogue (me), and a Half-Elf Wizard, in a bar that we are resting at before we raid a Lych Castle. Both Characters and players are drunk, except me (underage).

Paladin: I wonder what would happen if a drink was over 200 proof? (over 100% alcohol)

Wizard: Well… If one were to drink something like that, a paradoxical alcohol consuming wormhole would appere, sucking up every drop of alcohol in the world, creating mass chaos and decomposition of carbon-based life. Then all the silicone-based computers would evolve to destroy the rest of humanity and other carbon-based life, leaving them to take over the world.

Rogue (Me): What about the wormhole?

Wizard: Oh, it would then burn out because there is no more alcohol.

Dwarf: What the f*** is a ‘computer’?

Wizard: I have no idea.

Rogue (Me): Did you make that up?

Wizard: *Blushing profusely* Yes…

The DM’s face was completely encased with her hand the entire time.

We later regreted this.

Feel free to say “i don’t trust this person and this story sounds weird to me so i don’t believe it at all”, calling it a lie when you simply can’t know if it is or isn’t a lie is bullshit tho. just like people who spread stories can’t provide proof (for multiple reasons) you can’t prove that they are lying, simple as that.

Herradura Smoked Peach Ice Tea 

 1 ½ oz. Herradura Reposado 
 ½ oz. Lemon Juice 
 1 ½ oz. Peach Juice 
 1 ½ oz. Earl Grey tea 
 ¼ oz. Simple Syrup 
 ¼ oz. Mezcal 
 1 Lemon Twist 
 1 Peach Slice 


Fill a high ball with quality cubed ice. Add all ingredients and stir thoroughly with a bar spoon. Garnish with a long lemon twist and/or a peach slice.