20 a day is fucked up

Every Day (Part 3) - Calum Hood

Thank you to everyone who requested a part 3! I got over 20 messages of requests and feedback so thank you :) Here’s the last and final part, enjoy!

Part 1 

Part 2 

SUMMARY: Somehow along the lines of their relationship, Calum and Y/N fuck up and Y/N is tired of a failing relationship lingering on. She ends things but Calum is dumbfounded and tries to fix it with constant pleading. She doesn’t budge and so Calum’s logical idea is to send her a bouquet of flowers every day for every day that he loves her. 

It’s been about 10 days since you last received flowers. 10 days waiting to see if there would be something at your front door but there was nothing. You thought about calling him or texting him, but what would you say? “Hey where are my flowers?”

You were at constant war with your thoughts. The moment you called it quits with Calum you thought you were making the right decision but now you were missing him. You missed his Australian accent, you missed him hogging the blanket every morning making you crawl into his arms for warmth, you missed him holding your hand, you missed dancing and singing in the car with him, you missed laying with him with your back against his chest, you missed everything. But you were being stubborn and something inside you kept holding you back on calling him.

Keep reading

not to brag but GUESS WHO JUST DID A FUCKING 90 MINUTE WORKOUT ON HER BIKE (with appropriate breaks inbetween sets ofc)
me aka the human manifestation of sloth and lack of motivation
2 days ago i got burned out after 20 mins of cycling and a couple squats
im tired now but holy shit i feel nice even tho my thighs are still kinda crampy
i’ll keep it up for good results

Hoe Tips

Okay so these are tips that can make a hoes life so much easier. Enjoy 💕💕

1. Throw away any shaving cream use coconut butter or oil to shave, than apply oil after you dry off. BAM. NO STUBBLE. NO BURN. IT’S THE SHIT.

2. Don’t use shaving cream or coconut butter for your coochie. Use Johnson’s baby oil instead. You’ll have no razor burn.

3. There isn’t anything wrong with your natural coochie smell, but if you want to taste sweet eat cranberries or pineapple. SHIT WORKS.

4. Stretch marks on inner thighs? Use Vaseline and coconut oil over night EVERY NIGHT to get rid of them.

5. Men’s razors >>> womens razors. Cheaper, closer shave and cleaner.

6. Pee after sex. It’ll help prevent any UTIs. Don’t hold it in. UPDATE: I’ve changed it now, but this used to say pee to stop STIs, that is INCORRECT, and the only thing to stop STIs is a condom. Thank you to @infinitelaughing for correcting me!

7. Carry your own condoms. You’re a strong independent hoe and carry your Trojans proud.

8. If you’re braking out buy tea tree oil.

9. KAT VON D LIQUID LIPSTICKS ARE BLOWJOB PROOF. IT WILL NOT COME OFF. PLUS IT’S MATTE.

10. Matte makeup (foundation, lipstick, eyeliner) all lasts better against sheets for sex.

11. Want longer nails to scratch with? GARLIC ON NAIL BEDS. COCONUT OIL ON CUTICLES. GROW BITCHES GROW.

12. To make eyebrows fuller put on coconut oil before bed.

13. Add ½ cup of apple cider vinegar to your bath. It’ll reset the balance of your coochie’s PH. You’ll feel and smell r8 8/8

14. Run a hot bath. Favourite bubble bath. Soak. EXFOLIATE. When you get out put coconut oil all over your body.

15. Honey + white sugar - lip scrub
Coconut oil + brown sugar - body exfoliator

16. Dry feet are nasty af. Soak feet in hot water for 10 minutes before using a pumice stone to get rid of dead skin.

17. For extra soft feet, do above and put on heavy duty lotion, socks and sleep.

18. To hide a hickey. Green concealer all over, foundation and powder. GONE.

19. To remove blackheads use charcoal based soap. And use natural beaded exfoliants

20. If you want your coochie to be BABY SOFT get yoni oil. Shit is magical.

21. If your hair is feeling lifeless massage coconut oil in every night + put in a bun. Wash out in the morning.

22. Put your undies in three categories. 1. I’m getting fucked tonight 2. I could be spontaneously fucked. 3. Getting none today

23. On the days leading up to and after your period use a pad on your fav undies to stop staining.

24. Eyebrows can be on fleek fucking in a forest. Get Anastasia dipbrow pomade. Lifesaver.

25. 6-10 green tea bags in a bath will help energise skin and refresh. Skin will glow and be soft.

26. If you’re about to get dicked down DON’T wear cotton undies. It will trap lint in the crevice of your thighs.

27. Chlorasceptic throat numbing medication helps with deep throating.

28. DRINK WATER. cliché af but keep coochie smelling good and brightens skin.

29. Lemon juice and baking soda will remove any cum stains from clothes. I got you 😏

30. It’s your body. Don’t fucking listen to anyone

31. Shave your coochie under water

32. Put baby oil in your bath - baby soft duck yeah

33. Have a special coochie cleaning day. You’ll not regret it

Basically, This is Basically What Every Dr. Phil Episode is Basically Like Basically
  • Dr. Phil: Hello, I am Doctor Philip, and today we'll be tackling an issue that is very widespread, but rarely spoken about. Gaming addiction. Now, I know many of you know at least one person in your life who plays video games, whether that be a child or, in some cases, a spouse.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: But, when unregulated, gaming can lead to serious addiction. Today I have with me a mother who's home life has been torn apart as her very own son descended into gaming addiction.
  • Mother: *sniffing and wiping tears away* Hello, doctor. Will you cure my son?
  • Dr. Phil: Well, dear, that's... uhh. Let's just bring the boy out already.
  • *dramatic music plays*
  • Gamer: My name is Gregg, I'm 19 years old, I'm a gaming addict, and I don't give a f*ck.
  • Audience: *gasps*
  • Gamer: Yeah, I game for 19 to 20 hours a day and the other four hours I use for looking up sick gaming strats or beating it to anime porn. I once sucked off a dude because he offered me minecraft diamonds. I don't give a sh*t, I would've sucked him off even if he didn't have the diamonds.
  • Audience: *gasps louder*
  • Gamer: Do I hate women? Yes, I hate women. I've emailed Anita Sarkeesian my address. She knows where I am if she wants to fight me. Feminists, square the fuck up. People always ask why I don't do anything other than gaming. I ask them why don't they mind their own f*cking business. I don't think I have a problem. Dr. Phil can honestly eat my whole an*s.
  • Gamer: *walks out onto the stage*
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: F*ck all y'all! I don't give a f*ck! *flips off the audience*
  • Dr. Phil: Please take a seat, son.
  • Gamer: *sits very disrespectfully*
  • Mother: *starts bawling*
  • Dr. Phil: Son, do you think that was acceptable behavior?
  • Gamer: The only behavior I care about is the behavioral patterns for enemies in the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. series. I love video games: Master chief, Mario, uhm, Blinx the Cat... Blasto. Love those guys!
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: I don't care! You think I care! F*ck all y'all!
  • Dr. Phil: All these people are booing you, doesn't that make you feel bad?
  • Gamer: Are you deaf? Have I not articulated the fact that I absolutely 100% do not care about anything except for video games? I. DON'T. GIVE. A. F*CK.
  • Mother: He's always like this, there's no changing him. It didn't used to be this way... just *starts bawling harder*
  • Dr. Phil: I think there is a way to change him, and we'll find out more about that after these messages.
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays*
  • *The lights dim and every goes empty eyed and slack-jawed*
  • Gamer: Heh, this is weird. *nudges mom and whispers to her* Hey, we're getting paid for this, right. Hey, mom? ...Mom?
  • Mother: *completely unresponsive*
  • Dr. Phil: *completely unresponsive*
  • Audience: *completely unresponsive*
  • Gamer: Heh... this is REALLY weird. *looks around nervously*
  • Audience member: Hey!
  • Gamer: Huh?
  • Audience Member: I'm in the audience! Over here! My arms are strapped to the chair! You have to help me!
  • Gamer: *runs to the audience member*
  • Audience Member: Thank god, I thought I was the only one here left with any brains.
  • Gamer: *hastily undoing the straps* What the fuck is going on?
  • Audience Member: I don't know, but this definitely isn't Dr. Phil's show.
  • Gamer: Then what is it?
  • Audience Member: No clue, but we have to get out of here before the commercial breaks ends.
  • Gamer: *successfully undoes the straps*
  • Audience Member: C'mon! Let's go. *grabs the gamer by the arm*
  • Gamer: *resists* Wait a fucking minute. Why am I supposed to trust you?
  • Audience Member: Because I'm normal and everyone else is braindead if you haven't noticed.
  • Gamer: Yeah, but I'm not going anywhere until I know what's going on. Being on Dr. Phil is a huge opportunity for me to, y'know, advertise my brand. I'm a gamer if you haven't noticed.
  • Audience Member: Are you insane? Have you had a look around you? Does this anything happening right now seem normal to you? Who cares about your "brand". Do you even remember how you got here?
  • Gamer: Well... now that you mention, I can't really remember exactly.
  • Audience Member: Yeah, now let's get the fuck out of here.
  • *the gamer and audience member run through the back exit into the hallways*
  • *the Dr. Phil theme blares as the show returns from commercial break*
  • Gamer: My ears!
  • Audience Member: Move it! *jerks gamer's arm*
  • Gamer: Okay, calm down.
  • *the entire audience screams in unison*
  • Gamer: What the fuck is that!?
  • Audience Member: It's the reason we're running! Quick, in here!
  • *the duo duck into a cramped broom closest*
  • Gamer: Listen, you have to tell me what the fuck is going on right now!
  • Audience Member: Shh.
  • Gamer: Don't shush me!
  • Audience Member: *covers the gamer's mouth*
  • *agonized screaming and violently rumbling passes by the broom closest*
  • Gamer: Holy shit!
  • Audience Member: Stop yelling.
  • Gamer: How can I not yell when it sounds the gates of hell just passed by us!
  • Audience Member: You want it to turn back around and find us?
  • Gamer: Alright. I'll calm down... I'll. *start sobbing*
  • Audience Member: Please, please stop crying. You're too loud.
  • Gamer: I can't! I'm under a lot of stress!
  • Audience Member: You'll be dead if you don't shut the fuck.
  • Gamer: I never wanted any of this, I just wanted to go on Dr. Phil so people would recognize me on YouTube and I could become a popular Let's Player!
  • Audience Member: If you don't shut up right now, I'll-
  • *a snake bites the audience member's neck*
  • Audience Member: *eyes roll up*
  • Gamer: *screams like a baby*
  • *snakes slither under the closet door*
  • Gamer: *stumbles out of the closet and falls into hallway covered with snakes* Fuck me! Fuck me!
  • Gamer: *attempts to run away but falls beneath the snakes and into and empty void*
  • *agonized screaming echoes from all around*
  • Gamer: Am I in hell? I have to be in hell. You don't fall through a pool of snakes and wind up anywhere else but hell.
  • Dr. Phil: THERE IS NO HELL.
  • Gamer: Doc, is that you? If this isn't hell then where am I?
  • Dr. Phil: YOU'RE IN MY REALM SON. *Dr. Phil's face appears glowing in the distance, his eyes are empty sockets and his mouth hangs open*
  • Gamer: What the fuck are you?
  • Dr. Phil: I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • Gamer: You're not Dr. Phil!
  • Dr. Phil: I NEVER SAID I WAS, SON. *a wall of gray human bodies lights up surrounding Dr. Phil's massive head, dr. phil's giant snake body slithers towards the gamer and opens its third eye* I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • *the wall of bodies screams in unison as Dr. Phil devours the gamer*
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays loudly*
  • Dr. Phil: THE NEXT EPISODE IS STARTING. I'M LATE. *slithers into the wall of bodies and his snake body slowly transforms into a normal Dr. Phil's body*
  • Dr. Phil: *crawls onto the stage*
  • Dr. Phil: *dusts himself off* Woo, I went on quite an adventure.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: I'm glad we can all find some time in our lives to laugh, but today's episode is covering something that is most certainly not a laughing matter. It's one of the most serious addictions striking America today and it's rarely talked about. I'm talking about people who love to pee on their mattresses and then pay people exorbitant amounts of money to suck their disgusting mattresses clean.
  • Audience: ... *someone clears their throat*
  • Dr. Phil: What's the matter?
  • Cameraguy: Spsss, Doc. That's not what the episode is about. It's about people with terrible gambling issues.
  • Dr. Phil: Oh, ah, fuck! Cut to commercial!

okay but imagine someone sees neil and andrew being a couple in public and is just. shocked. bc neil josten and andrew minyard hate each other?? everyone knows that?? the josten/minyard rivalry is stuff of exy legend?? so anyway pictures get posted online and everyone is so. confused. until someone goes “wait andrew has a twin” 

next thing you know, neil josten’s sordid affair with aaron minyard, his worst enemy’s brother, who’s married, is a headline across every tabloid, website, and social media account that even sort of cares about exy. which, as it turns out, is a lot of them.

aaron is horrified, nicky and katelyn are having a fucking field day, and andrew and neil are little shits who are entirely unhelpful in clearing the whole thing up.

100 reasons to watch The 100

1. That BC scenery

2. Seeing people experience rain for the first time it’s so cute

3. Octavia’s goddess-like hair in the first season

4. Bellamy Blake’s half smile

5. Monty’s expert clap backs

6. They all get high off hallucinogenic nuts

7. LINCOLNS ABS

8. trees and mountains and nature

9. Badass women

10. Raven saving the day, agin , again, and again

11. Monty putting up with people’s shit

12. LINCOLNS TATTOOS

13. Miller. Just Miller in general

14. Murphy’s sarcastic comments

15. P.A.I.N

16. Long speeches about survival

17. “Nothing like a little pain to remind you you’re alive”

18. Watch Raven save everybody and continue to be the most badass woman while getting fucked over by everyone and by Jrat again and again and again

19. “I can make it go boom”

20. Clarke’s pretty drawings

21. Bellamy’s character development

22. The Blakes.

23. Wells.

24. Monty’s wink

25. Monty and Jasper’s high five

26. You’ll go damn when Anya and Clarke jump off a dam

27. Bellarke development

28. “Together”

29. “I can’t lose you too”

30. “Love is weakness”

31. Clexa

32. Clexa (cus they were fucking amazing)

33. Finn pulling Clarke into the water

34. “I am become death, destroyer of worlds”

35. Everybody gets super sick

36. Murphy you creepy mother fucker

37. Murphy you amazing mother fucker

38. Uh oh Finn gone crazy

39. Pew pew! Bang bang!

40. A series of misunderstandings between grounders and sky people

41. LINCOLN BEING HOT AF

42. “Who we are, and who we need to be to survive, are very different things”

43. ALIE’s mansion

44. Murphy dancing around and drinking such a babe

45. Fuck jaha

46. “You always did what you had to do to protect your sister, that’s who you are!”

47. BELLAMY’S SHYING AWAY AND SHAKING HIS HEAD BACK TO REALITY WHEN HE TOUCHES CLARKES SHOULDER

48. DAY TRIP

49. Two headed dear

50. GLOWING FOREST THAT ONLY APPEARS IN THE FIRST EPISODE LIKE FUCK I WANT MORE GLOWING FOREST

51. Linctavia being amazing

52. Bellarke flirting

53. They’re so busy fighting and surviving to take two minutes to wash their faces

54. Jasper’s goggles

55. Anya’s badass dead stare

56. “What happened?” “I happened”

57. Raven experiencing earth for the first time

58. Every mention of princess

59. “Maybe you’re forgetting the last time you were saving us, I WAS SAVING YOU!”

60. Richard Harmons acting

61. You get to watch the blooper reels at the end of every season

62. “Maybe life should be about more than just surviving

63. So many beautiful people

64. Bellarke shit

65. Revisiting the dropship seasons later

66. drunk Jasper

67. Those few times clarke ever smiles

68. Lexa twirling her knife

69. The Kane and Indra friendship

70. Bellamy Blake and his guns

71. Bellamy Blake and his GUNS (y'all know what I’m talking about)

72. “What’s wrong with a little chaos?”

73. Every bellarke hug

74. Monty and Jasper eating chocolate cake for the first time

75. Maya showing Jasper paintings

76. Emori shutting up those shitheads in the city of light when they told her she could fix her deformities, and she’s like “I’d fixed something if there was anything wrong with me”

77. ROAN’S EYEROLLS

78. Bellamy Blake adopting every child he sees

79. Lindsey Morgan

80. Candles somehow being lit at romantic times??

90. How does Clarke keep saving the world with her hair down like that??

91. Bellamy’s hair flips

92. Indra is a goddess. The goddess.

93. The delinquents listening to music as they drive around

94. Clarke somehow knowing how to drive the rover despite never being around when it was in use??

95. “If I’m on that list, you’re on that list”

96. Kane’s dad talks

97. Anya biting the fucking chip out of her fucking arm like the biggest badass to ever live

98. “I give myself to the miracle of the sea”

99. Luna is the miracle of the sea

100. “In peace, may you leave this shore. In love, may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels, until our final journey to the ground… May we meet again.”

Y’ALL YOU CAN CALL ME JOANNE BECAUSE I PULLED OFF THE ULTIMATE SCAM LAST NIGHT.

I’ve been seeing the same POT for a month now. Yesterday was our fourth meet and I was going to mentally declare him an SD from now on. You’d better believe that was C A N C E L L E D.

After spending two hours getting ready, I drove another two hours in the snow in Toronto traffic to meet this man at a restaurant for our date. I got there, grabbed a table and sat down when he texted me saying he fell asleep and to order for him because he would be there soon. This really pissed me off because the last time we met up he was an hour late, and the time before that he was off by 20 minutes. Now, I had already spent money and time driving to the restaurant so my ass was NOT about to turn around and leave. No, I knew he would come, even if it took 2 hours. And it did. Straight up, two hours.

Luckily my boyfriend came and saved the day by covering my tab and letting me use his laptop to charge my phone in the restaurant. He stayed with me until this man arrived.

I walked out to his car, smiling and pretending everything was okay, because my ass already had a plan.

There was no way I’d be fucking and sucking this dude tonight. No way in hell! Had it been a vanilla man I would’ve already blocked his number and forgot his name but I was going to suck this man dry of every hour of my time that he wasted.

I turned to him, smiling and said, “babe, do you want to go to the mall?”

You’d better believe his ass took me to the Eaton Center, scrambling to make up for tonight. I had him withdraw $2,000 cash and buy me $400 worth of Steve Madden and Aritzia gear. Then, before it was time to leave, “I have to go to the bathroom,” I said, “I’ll meet you outside once you grab the car from the parking garage.”

And what the fuck did I do? I grabbed an Uber and hauled my ass back home. If anyone saw a young woman running down the street in Louboutins and an arm full of shopping bags last night, that was me.

After two hours of texting him and pretending I couldn’t find him outside, he got the hint.

lance: haha, wouldn’t it be fucked up if i had a writing assignment, two worksheets, a poster project, an oral presentation, a short reading, and about 20 document-based questions all due tomorrow and i didn’t start working on them until midnight?

hunk: what

lance, seeming to slighlty vibrate: executive dsyfunction owns my ass and i haven’t slept in days, please hold me

Keep waking me up at 5:30am?

Second attempt. First time it got eaten.

I lived in a very ghetto apartment complex for a while. While there I was working grave yard shift, and there was a car that would come at 5:30am on week days to pick up SOMEONE and they would lay on the horn for at least 20 minutes. They would never get out of the car, they would just lay on the damned horn.

I did ask them politely, once, to stop, to go knock, I work grave yard and would like to sleep. I basically got told to fuck off. Ok, you’ve asked for it.

He was driving a VERY pimped out Cadillac. Maroon in color, tinted windows, gold rims, large white wall tires, etc. Obv very proud of his ride. I waited a month, so it wouldn’t be obvious it was me, then I borrowed a paint ball gun from a guy at work. I took the screen off my window facing where he always parks, and waited for the next morning.

When he started laying on his horn I sprayed his car with neon orange paint. He stopped laying on his horn after that. I think I made my point.

Snapchat Mishaps {Pt.5}

Warnings: This ones very dirty guys, you’re welcome 😈. VEY VERY  NSFW gifs , FINALLY S M U T ,angst , Bucky Barnes x Reader (ft Johnny Storm 😉)

{ Snapchat Mishap Masterlist}             MasterList!


“ miss, I suggest you wake up. I’m required to remind you that you have work in 20 minutes” the blinds over your windows begins rising , letting your room flood with blinding light.

Fucking FRIDAY .

“ I’m up I’m up.”

You went right to your room after you left buckys floor last night. It took you a while , but you finally fell asleep . Work is the last thing you want right now , but you know You have a shit ton of medical records to type out and things to organize .


You are ready in 15, and on the elevator soon after . Finally the elevator opens on the med floor , and the silence is oddly soothing .

Your day passes quickly , before you know it it’s 5pm .

“ Mr Stark would like me to inform you that he is holding a small get together tonight at 7 and he’d like you to attend. He said ’ nothing fancy , just wear something to outline your-‘l

” I get the point FRIDAY.“ you cut her off before she can finish relaying Tony’s message about your ass. Real  classy Stark.

Originally posted by chaosofhearts


It doesn’t take long to finish your work, so you have plenty of time to get ready . You decide on wearing a black shirt dress, that clings to the shape of your curves and has a cross cross cut out around your middle , along with a low neckline . Overall, you feel sexy as hell. Your hair is down is loose natural waves, and you applied light makeup . You’re ready at 6:45 , and decide to head to the “party level ” early . Your nerves begin acting up when you think about having to face Bucky tonight. He didn’t try to contact me all day , so why the hell should I care ? He can do whatever he wants , and I can whatever I want . The elevators open , to the hall, revealing an unfamiliar group of 4 and you realize it’s the fantastic Four ; the other heroes of new York . The man with his back to you turns , a dazzling smile forming when he sees you .

Originally posted by this-is-what-makes-us-fandoms

I want to do him, oh man, do I want to do him .

“ well hello gorgeous.”
The woman across from him smacks the back of his head .

“ I’m sorry about my brother , I’m sue Richards , this is my husband reed , our friend Ben, and the one with no manners is my brother Johnny storm.” Playboy Johnny storm , his could be fun.

“ it’s a pleasure to meet all of you, thank you for what you’ve done to save this city , and the world .” They all blush at you, including Johnny.

“ well you know , I could think of another way to say thank you.” Johnny say with a mischievous glimmer in his eyes . His sister groans at his remark but you laugh

“ that’s a shame Johnny,” you walk past him , stopping to call over your shoulder ,“ because I think of a lot more ways than one .” You wink and continue heading into the official party area.

Originally posted by cybertronicvagrant

You spent most of the night near wanda and Natasha, bucky finally arrived with Steve a little later , his girl from last night no where insight. You fee his eyes on you as him as they both approach the three of you , after a quick hello you excuse yourself to go to the bar, you suddenly feel the urge for tequila getting louder .

You feel a hand on your lower back as you wait for the bartender , and you pray it’s not buckys .

“ what’s got a beautiful lady like you drinking tequila alone ?” Johnny , thank fucking god . You turn around , he’s so close that your chests are nearly touching .

“ do I need a reason for tequila?”

“ no, but your shoulders tensed and dropped in relief when you saw it was me , who are you avoiding babe?”

“ you never hear about how observant Johnny storm is , only how much of a playboy.”

“ I’m waiting for an answer .”
You look over his shoulder , locking eyes with a very aggravated Bucky Barnes . What the hell does he look so pissed - oh . Oh ! What a fucking - fuck it . I’m doing this.

You lean up to whisper in his ear, “Johnny I need a favor , feel free to say no. But I really wanna piss someone off.”

“ anything for you , I’m sure he deserves it.”

“ how do you-”

“ Like you said , observing is  my thing, and frostbite hasn’t taken his eyes off you since you walked to the bar .”

“ you’re pretty damn good mr.Storm”
“ oh baby you have no idea.” His arms wrap around your waist , both of you are devilishly smiling .

Johnny pulls you to the dance floor of people grinding against each other . You turn your body so your back is to his chest, your ass pressing against his already hardening bulge .

“ excited ?” You ask over you shoulder , he responds with a light kiss to your neck . You behind moving together , following the beat . 5 songs later and you’re way too turned on from dancing with Johnny and need air , you part with a quick kiss to his cheek then duck out to the balcony , sighing as soon as the breeze hits you.

Looking over the city is so calming , the lights are mesmerizing. So much in fact , you didn’t hear the door open & close behind you .

“ y/n” you jump at the sound , not realizing someone else joined you, and of course it’s bucky. You don’t turn , just grip on tighter to the ledge infront of you , how fucking great.

“ Barnes .”

“ you look nice tonight.” He is directly behind you now, close enough you can feel his breath on your neck . Are you fucking kidding me ?

You don’t reply , the anger building up inside you is threatening to spill out but you don’t want to give him the satisfied knowing the affect seeing him and the girl lady had on you.

“ you didn’t snap me today doll.” That’s it .

“ I didn’t snap y- you are something else Bucky Barnes .” You turn , glaring daggers into the deep blue eyes looking back at you .bucky just smirks ,

Originally posted by winter-barnes

“ I knew that would get you to speak.”
Bastard .

“ let me ex-”
“ why would you need to explain bucky? I shouldn’t of came to your floor , what you do isn’t my business, nor do I care . ”
Go me . self-five .

His face drops at your words , but he doesn’t drop it
“ I was stressed from the mission and I need to - listen I didn’t sleep with her . I sent her packin after I saw you. ”

“ well that was dumb. ”

“ why- I know your mad y/n. No need to hide it . ”

“ .im not your mother and I’m certainly not your girl friend so why would I be mad? we all have needs. “ you snap .

He’s silent , you take the chance to move away and back to the party but his voice stops you

” so what ? You’re going back to dancing with storm now? “
You laugh , ” is someone jealous ?“ When he doesn’t respond you walk back to him , placing your hand on his chest .

” are you jealous that he’s the one that’s going to have my ass grinding against him Buck? That he’s the one I’m going to be kissing tonight when we leave the party , the one whose dick im going to wrap my lips around ? That you’re not the one that’s going to be fucking me until I can’t walk? “
After a moment of him glaring into your eyes , you laugh , ” because it could of been you. But I’m sure you have someone else you can call again tonight , don’t you ?“ You spit , you go to remove your hand from his chest but his flies up to grasp onto it , holding you to him.

” I didn’t think -“

” doesn’t matter , it was just a game Bucky right? That’s all it was .“ Sadness clear in your voice , but oh well. His face drops , his eyes going to the ground at your words. 

Originally posted by munirakhairuddin

You rip your hand from his, and storm back into the party . Thoughts flying through your head at what feels like a 100 mph, the night you spent talking with him , all the snaps , the kisses ; it’s all too much . Fuck it was just suppose to be a game , I wasn’t suppose to feel anything for that dickbag!

” hey woah, you okay?“ you look up to see Johnnys concerned eyes .

” uh- yeah I just- tequila .“ You sigh out , and he nods , taking your hand and leading you to the bar .


Buckys POV

fucking hell. I never would of thought I could be this dumb , she’s never going to - FUCK.  I should of told her how I felt first.  Those should of been the first fucking words out of my mouth. But would this of ended any different?  it would of killed me if she still walked away after I told her. But now she just thinks- FUCK. 
Why the fuck is she even bothering with storm , he’s a man whore . What are thy even laughing about ? How much tequila does she think she can drink ?!

I don’t blame her , how could I ? I should of called her not - Lisa? Whatever that chicks name was . But whatever this is - was - between me and y/n is just too - I didn’t think I’d catch feelings. But she’s just so- y/n . I don’t even have words to describe how wonderful she is , I’ve always know though . Being an ass to her was just so much easier than giving into being close with her before . But after the other night , after everything we talked about , the kisses , fuck her lips are so perfect , almost like they were made for mine, I can’t help but give in. I learned so much about her , we moved so far into friendship in just one night. I’m an idiot .

Steve told me I shouldn’t of pushed her away , but what else was I suppose to do? She was the only thing on my mind during that mission , and the first thing back on my mind after I shook out soldier mode on the way home . That mission- I don’t even know- I lost myself for a minute . All I could think about is what if that happens when I’m with her ? What if I hurt her ? I didn’t think she was as in deep as I was , didn’t think she’d care about the other girl . I was almost praying she only saw this as truly a game between us , so atleast one of us had a little bit of hold on reality. But when I saw her eyes in the elevator , the way they glossed over with Unshed tears
; I lost it.

It wasn’t a game anymore , it wasn’t just about who could get the other to cave for Sex first , although I do want to fuck her 7 ways from Sunday . It only took one night, one night of her sleeping next to me, for me to realize I needed that every night . I let my fear of hurting her physically, hurt her emotionally. And now I have to sit and watch her all over this fucking prick . I wanted to drop kick him off the side of the building the minute I saw him go up to her .

What are they - where are they going ?!


Y/n’s pov

 You know its the tequila vision, but right now all you can think of is banging Johnny storm, and how much you hate bucky right now.  One a scale of 1-10, you’re a solid 5.5. You lean in closer to johnny , your lips grazing his ear,

” What do you say we get outta here ?“

 He doesn’t verbally respond, instead his lips go to yours, in a quick, but hot kiss.  He grabs your hand and all but sprints to the elevators.  He didn’t even hit the button before pressing you against the wall next to the doors . You moan when his lips land on yours, before you can even  make another move his body is off you .

” What the hell!“ johnny snaps, you open your eyes to a very flustered Johnny and pissed Bucky. you’ve got to be kidding me.

” You have 5 seconds to get out of my sight, that’s the only warning I’m giving you storm .“ Bucky barks, making your eyes go wide. Holy hell, ive never seen him this mad. Johnny looks to you , and you slowly nod, not wanting to cause an even bigger issue to pull anyone from the parties attention to the hall .  confusion rolls over you as johnny smirks and sends you a wink, did he- did he want this to happen? wtf.

Originally posted by master-of-duct-tape

” Bucky what the fuck do you think youre doing !“ you growl, ” I didn’t fucking chase that girl away last night , so what were you thinking !“

He stalks forward, caging you between his body and the wall  until his face is an inch away from yours,

” Storm is a man whore.“

” and youre not?“ you snap ” its not like I wanted to marry the guy, Christ. “

” You just wanted to fuck him ? “

” Obviously !“

” You’ve got a replacement right infront of you doll. I’m all yours. “  is he caving?

Almost like he read your mind Bucky dips down to connect your lips in a desperate kiss, his tongue immediately finding its way against yours as he gains dominance. When he pulls away your gasping for air,

Originally posted by sssmcdlove

” I’m done with this game, I want you and I want you now doll.“ his voice is full of lust, and super commanding , nearly making you fall to  a puddle infront of him .

All this is , is a fuck for both of us . He doesn’t want it to be more , and I don’t either . I’m not letting it be anymore. its a tequila induced fuck. No feelings , just sex.

 The elevator ride to his floor was silent, only thing to be heard is your breathing.  The minute you’re off the elevator, he’s got his hands on you . He pushes you against the nearest walll, his lips meeting yours in another needy kiss . His hands are roaming down your body until they land on your thigh, and he lifts you up. Your legs instantly wrap around his waist while your hands tangle in his hair, your lips still moving with his . Your dress is bunched at your waist now, letting his bulge rub against your covered core , the friction making you moan into his mouth . He moves you again , and you feel the cold granite of his kitchen counter under you .

” bucky please -“ His eyes are completely Lust blown as he takes in your plea . His hands move to your core , slipping under your panties and diving right into your slippery folds

” fuck y/n,“ he enters one, the then two finger into your pussy, starting a relentless pace . Moans rip through you at the feeling, and your hips start grinding down on his fingers . ” that’s it doll, fuck yourself on my fingers .“ And you do , you bounce yourself as much as you can on his fingers until your orgasm washes over you. You dig your fingers into his forearms as you slowly rock yourself through your orgasm.

” I don’t think you know how hot that was . Holy fuck.“ He breathes out before gently kissing you . You smirk at him as he removes his fingers, sticking them in his mouth with a groan. Fuck why is that so hot ? You gasp as he rips open the front of your dress, anger flashes through you for a moment before its  replaced with pure pleasure. His mouth nips down your chest, his tongue popping out to swirl around your hardened nipple. 

Your back arches, pushing yourself further into his warm mouth and you nearly cum from the feeling of him sucking your nipple . He alternates between your breasts, driving you crazier everytime he sucks them . You finally find the strength to shove him off of you , sending him a grin as you do .  

You slide off the counter and to your knees, going right for the button on his pants . You pop the bottom off, drag the zipper down and then pull his pants and boxers until they hit the floor and kicks them off . His cock looks painfully hard ,his top is leaking pre cum and your mouth starts watering at the sight . You lean up , capturing the tip in your mouth , you tongue swiping over the precum . You moan out at the saltiness, but your addicted to taste right away . You take more of him in your mouth , swirling your tongue around him as you start bobbing your head .

” shit - your mouth feels - “ he lets out a moan when your hand finds his balls .

” doll- sto-stop , I’m not cuming until I’m fucking buried in your pussy.“ You back off with a wet pop , standing up then leaning to kiss him .

” then what are you waiting for , sergeant ?“ That did it , his eyes snap to yours and another growl escapes him, making you even wetter , fucking hell . He lifts you again , taking you to his room . Once your feet hit the floor youre ripping at his shirt, buttons flying everywhere  .

 He removes your ruined dress from you , biting his lip as he looks over your body , only thing covering you is your black lace thong; and he takes care of that real quick.  He gently shoves you back, watching your chest bounce as you fall to his bed. He slowly tucks his fingers under the waist of your thong and pulls it down your legs before tossing it over his shoulder. You let your legs fall open, watching as he looks at your dripping pussy with hungry eyes.

” So fucking perfect Doll.“ he leans down , his lips finding yours in a passionate kiss that has your head spinning . He pulls away , sneaking his hands underneath your body , and flipping the two of you so youre straddling him . He smacks your ass, making you arch forward as you whimper.

” Up here baby ,“ you raise your eyebrow in confusion until you finally realize what he means .  You scoot yourself up, placing a leg on each side of his head and slowly lowering yourself down until you feel his lips on your slit.

” Oooh fuck!“ he dives right in , sucking and licking at your folds so hard you can barely keep yourself up right . His hands come down on your thighs, squeezing them roughly as he begins moving you back and forth over his face.  you take the hint and follow his lead,  hesitantly rocking yourself against him . His hands move you faster though , to the point that you are fucking yourself on his face. one hand disappears from your hips, and you feel one of his fingers enter you as he sucks harshly on your clit.

” Bucky ! “the last suck did you in, the knot in your stomach snapping harder than ever before . You feel yourself cuming , you can feel it dripping out of you into is mouth and the thought reignites the fire in your core.  Bucky gently lifts you and slides you back down to his lap  , and you get a good look of his glistening face. Holy fuck, I just fucked bucky barnes face.  fuck yes.  You pull him in for a kiss, sighing at the taste of yourself on his tongue . You suck on his tongue before moving away from him , and a low moan leaves his lips.

” Doll I cant wait any longer .“ he flips you once again, once hes over you his hand grabs ahold of his cock and he slowly pushes himself in . You know hes trying to be considerate and give you a minute to adjust, but you cant wait . The way he fills you already has you addicted , the pain only lasts a few seconds before you bucking your hips up . He starts thrusting slowly, and you let out a growl,

” Harder !“  you cry out , and he complies, snapping his hips into your rougher . His pace is animalistic, he manages to hit your g spot with every thrust making it so much better. The moans leaving your lips are ridiculously obscene, youre pretty sure theyd be in a porn video .

” Fuck doll I’m -“

You groan , not ready for this to be over . You use all your strength to switch your positions so youre on top of him now .

” Hold on , Sergeant. “ your steady yourself with your hands on his chest, and begin bouncing on his dick , the new angle making your pussy clench even tighter around him.

” holy hell Y/n, I can feel you gripping me so fucking good. C'mon baby .“ his fingers move to your clit , starting to rub it hard . You pick up your pace, crying out from all the sparks your feeling throughout your body . Bucky sits up, his mouth enveloping one of your nipples while he grabs at the other one . 

He moves off your chest after a few minutes, his arms wrapping around your waist now to press his chest against yours as he starts thrusting up into your heat as you slam down onto him .
” C'mon doll, cum all over my cock . I want to feel you-“

you whimper out his name , your orgasm ripping through you almost painfully. White spots invade your vision, and you hear bucky moan out your name as his orgasm follows . You feeling him slowly thrusting still, pulling you both through your finishes as he shoots ropes of cum into you . The feeling of him finishing in you triggers another smaller orgasm , then your body gives out, crashing against his. You’ve never cam that hard, and it was an earth shattering feeling, one that youre already craving again. 

 You lift yourself off of him, flopping to your back beside him on the bed.

” Holy - that was - wow.“ he says , both of you gasping for air .   You turn your head to the side, finding Bucky already looking at you .  Flashes from the other night in his room play in your mind, and you quickly come crashing back into reality  . This was just- it was nothing to him. So its nothing to me then too.

” Youre beautiful, you know that?“ Shut up , please shut up . He almost sounds sincere, but that just must be how he gets all the girls

You send him a smile, afraid to even say anything back to him .  He rolls out of bed & walks to his bathroom, returning with a wet cloth . He gently cleans you up, sending shivers down your spine when the cloth goes over your sensitive clit.   He goes back into his bathroom to drop the dirty cloth into his hamper, when he does you jump out of his bed, grab the first shirt you see and your panties . You quickly cover yourself, and head right for the door . Right as the door opens he stops you ,

” why- you’re not staying ?“ his voice was quiet and laced with confusion .  Pull it together , you know what’s about to leave your lips is going to hurt ; but it’ll hurt a lot less now , than it would if you stayed and slept beside him, if you woke up in his arms knowing it was just another night to him . You don’t bother turning around when you reply ,

” fuck no.”

Originally posted by fragileheartxxx

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  • Junkrat: *driving random Overwatch-stamped vehicle* I dunno WHY the company puts me under this kind of pressure, I’m just the FACKIN'delivery guy! THEY'RE the ones overpromisin’ customers, but I HAVE TO RISK MY LIFE to get their packages to them on time, it is ABSOLUTE bull shit. *Later* What can I do here, can I find a shortcut, here we go, up this hill, get to do a bit of a trick as well *goes flying 20 feet in the air* TO KEEP THE DAY EXCITING. Ya orda’ ya fuckin’ doll off Amazon in the mornin’, ya get ya doll in the afternoon, THAT’S OUR GUARANTEE. *fixes ramp on front of vehicle* Ya know what, the other problem is there’s TOO MANY PEOPLE on the road! *driving full speed* If all these BUMS could just get off the fuckin’ road, then they would NOT interfere with my job! Look at me kids, GET A JOB, GET A JOB, FUCK OFF, I got fuckin’ packages to deliva’, thERE ARE PEOPLE WAITING ON THEIR DOLLS OFF AMAZON! Fack off, fack off, fack off, fack off, fack off, fack off! Ya may THINK I’m actin’ Like Michael Douglas in the movie Falling Down, But *vehicles flying off* I’VE JUST FOUND A WAY TA BECOME SUPA’ EFFICIENT IN MY PROFESSION, THIS IS MY FACKIN’ CRAFT, I DON’T CARE HOW THE NEWS REPORTS IT, PEOPLE ARE GETTIN’ THEIR FACKIN’ PACKAGES!
  • submitted by dirt-luvs-turts
Sons of Lawrence

Summary:  Sons of Anarchy meets Supernatural. In this AU, the Winchesters run the most notorious biker gang in Lawrence. They traffic illegal drugs, weapons, and anything else that makes them money and keeps them on top.
Characters in this chapter: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Mary Winchester, John Winchester, Bobby Singer, Kevin Tran, Jo Harvelle, 
Pairing: Eventual Dean Winchester x Female Reader
Word Count: 2,219
Warnings: Language
Author’s Note: This series isn’t going to be light and fluffy. It will include explicit language, explicit sexual content, casual use of illegal drugs, possible explicit canon typical violence.

Originally posted by troohhippi

Freedom. That’s what it felt like when Dean hopped on his bike, and rode down the streets of Lawrence.  Even the back roads. Especially the back roads. It didn’t matter if he was going 20 or 90. It was the wind that surrounded him, pushed through his hair, up and over his shoulders. It was the fact that as he rode, nothing else mattered. Not John or Bobby grooming him to take over the family business. Not Mary pestering him playfully that it was past time to find a woman. Not Jo pining after him like he was a goddamn football quarterback. Nothing. It was just him and his bike.

Keep reading

OK YALL

So! we have had a Matt appreciation month, an Edd appreciation and now im putting together a tom apreciation month because hes a pretty darn cool dude ya know. He was in charge of legecy, voice of tom, and still does his own stuff with that one youtube channel named Tomska (Ill tag his ass later)

BUT TO THE IMPORTANT STUFF! Note: I will say Tom and then Tomska, Tom refering to eddsworld and Tomska refering to IRL Tom so yeah. Rules: dont be a goddamn dick for once, lets not put ship stuff in the tag, uhhhhhhh that should be good

NOW THE DAYS: NOTE THIS WILL BE TAKING PLACE IN MAY

(And if ya really wanna you can switch Tom to Tomska with a few of these but please dont make them the same people)

Day 1: Draw Tom
Day 2: Draw Tom being drunk, or getting drinks or something (chill with the drinks if ya drawing Tomska)
Day 3: Draw Tom with a harpoon
Day 4: Draw Tom with eyes
Day 5: Draw Scribble Tom! (or really any other reject with tom in it)
Day 6 Young Tom
Day 7: Toms parents
Day 8:Tom Doing a funny face
Day 9: Screenshot redraw of choice (with tom)
Day 10: Draw Tomska!
Day 11: Tom with Edd and Matt (Tord is optional)
Day 12: Draw Tom with outfit of choice
Day 13: Draw Black Tom (or any POC Tom, make hiim look fucking dope tho)
Day 14: Draw an EXTREAMLY small Tom right next to a GIGANTIC Tom
Day 15: Draw Jon I dont fucking know
Day 16: Look at or Binge watch Tomskas channel (its tomska or darksquidge)
Day 17: Draw your favorite Tomska video or like ASDF or something
Day 18: Sheriff Tom
Day 19: Future Tom
Day 20: Draw or say your favorite thing about Tom/ Tomska
Day 21: Draw or say your opinon on Toms eyes (orbs, empty, headcannon, etc)
Day 22: Tom or Tomska in a suit
Day 23: Tom with ringo, Or Tomska with his pet fox
Day 24: Monter Tom
Day 25: Tom with susan
Day 26: Tom with Tomme bear
Day 27: Just draw Tom straight up punching tord, just right in the face
Day 28:  Tom or Tomska doing something dumb
Day 29: Draw Dat boi or just post it and tag tomska with no context
Day 30: Tom and Tomska together
Day 31: Write a coolio heart felt note to Tomska

The tag is #Tomskaam and spread this to every site! (i swear i dont mean it to say scam)

4

On March 6, 2002, 19-year-old James (Jimmy) Carwile and 18-year-old Derek Faxlinger met up with 20-year-old friends Jonathon Cockerill (pictured) and Travis Payea, and his 19-year-old roommate Christina Lumm at the house those two shared in Flint, Michigan. Also present was newcomer Danielle Taylor, 19, and they spent the evening drinking and watching movies. After several hours, Payea grabbed a video recorder and focused the tape on Taylor, instructing her to say hello. She complies, then he asks, “If you had one thing to say, if this was your last day on earth, what would it be?” Jokingly, she responds, “fuck you,” as Cockerill appears behind her with an outstretched cloth in hand. Taylor darts to the side when she spots him, while he follows, joined by Carwile, and they wrestle her to the floor, binding her hands behind her back. Meanwhile, Payea taunts her from behind the camera, asking how she’s doing, then he says, “I take it it’s been better, huh? Just think, you’re better now than you’re going to be in half an hour, that’s for sure.” Later, when she complains of it hurting, he replies, “Hey, it hurts, right? Well, think about it. Half an hour from now, you’ll never feel another thing.” The group prepares to leave and Payea threatens, “If you scream and you fight we put a gag in your mouth and throw you in the trunk,” adding, “If you relax and accept death and what’s coming to you and take it like a real woman would, then you just accept fate and realize what’s going to happen and stop fighting.” Taylor lets out a whimper and Christina warns, “Don’t struggle.” With Derek Faxlinger left behind, Lumm starts driving the others to a remote wooded area a half hour outside of town with Carwile as her passenger and a blindfolded Taylor in the backseat between Payea and Cockerill. Cockerill holds a knife to her throat, as the taunts by Payea continue, and he allows her to say her goodbyes when their destination approaches. After exiting the car, Payea carries her to a shallow grave, and they begin shoveling snow and dirt on top of her. Payea then makes a slicing motion with the knife across her throat, and she remains slumped over in the grave, as he says, “Congratulations you’re dead.” Cockerill then begins filming the cast, revealing it was only a movie to them.

Two days later, Taylor returned to the house to retrieve the videotape and immediately turned it into police. All five of them were arrested and charged with assault and kidnapping. Since the videotape was the main piece of evidence, every frame was analyzed to prove whether the defendants claims it was intended as a movie and Taylor had known about the details beforehand were true. In their defense, they noted one scene, where she scratches her nose then puts her hand back behind her back, as well as another where she appears to free her hands, as evidence of her acting. Indicating they didn’t plan to cause her physical harm, tape that was wrapped around the sharp edge of the knife was cited too. They had also attempted the scenario with another female friend of Payea’s, but they stopped after three minutes because she became too freaked out. The prosecution countered with Taylor’s obvious terrified reactions throughout the video, as well as testimony from Christina Lumm stating Danielle was never told in advance about the prank. Lumm accepted a plea bargain on a reduced charge of attempted felonious assault and received a suspended six-month sentence pending the completion of probation. On a reduced charge, Derek Faxlinger was ordered to pay a 200 dollar fine. The other three each plead no contest to kidnapping and assault. Jimmy Carwile received a four month sentence, while Payea and Cockerill got eight months, all suspended sentences following the completion of probation.

alright, let me tell y’all a story about two badass gay (allegedly, but who are we kidding) resistance fighters in nazi occupied poland.

(rudy is on the left and zośka is right)

tadeusz zawadzki (aka “zośka”) and jan bytnar (aka “rudy”) met in 1937 at age 16, being classmates in high school in warsaw. they were also members of an underground polish scouting association called gray ranks (pol: szare szeregi) and they were both active in resistance actions and sabotages. some of the actions included ripping down nazi flags and putting up polish ones, painting “PW” on walls, symbolizing “polska walcząca” (”fighting poland”), blowing up train tracks or writing slogans over nazi propaganda.

rudy was arrested by gestapo (nazi police) on march 23rd and interrogated to get information out of him about gray ranks and the resistance. and by interrogated i mean beaten until he lost consciousness and then woken up to be beaten some more. but rudy was like “screw you i ain’t tellin you shit” and basically acted like he didn’t know anything. he was injured so severely that on the second day of his arrest he had to be taken to the prison hospital and transported back for interrogation on a hospital stretcher. so zośka decided “fuck this” and gathered a team of 28 people to rescue him from arrest. the action was succesful on march 26th when they rescued rudy and 20 other prisoners during their transportation to a different location. rudy died from his injuries on march 30th with zośka being right by his side. before his death, rudy managed to tell others the names of the two main officers who were interrogating him, one of which was herbert schulz who was shot a month later by zośka.

aleksander kamiński, also a resistance fighter, wrote a book called “stones for the rampart” which describes the history of zośka, rudy and other people from their scout team fighting in warsaw. the title, “stones for the rampart”, comes from a poem “my testament” by juliusz słowacki, which zośka has read to rudy on his deathbed and has insisted on calling the book that. (also because another book, rudy’s favorite, was called the same way)

“But I beg you – let the living not lose hope ever
And bear the torch of learning before their compatriots;
And when called, go to their death one after another,
Like the stones tossed by die Lord onto the ramparts…“

zośka died 5 months after rudy during a resistance action. they were both 22 when they died and both were awarded with the war order of virtuti militari (latin: “for military virtue”) which is poland’s highest military decoration for heroism and courage at war.

alright, you might say, but why do some people think they were gay? well,  elżbieta janicka from the institute of slavic studies said “because we’re talking in a homophobic culture, where questioning someone’s heterosexual orientation
isn’t an ascertainment but an accusation, i’d compare zośka and rudy to achilles and patroclus, a couple of legendary warriors.” in her opinion, a particularly telling part from “stones for the rampart” was where after rescuing rudy from arrest, zośka lies down next to rudy in bed and they talk about moving in together after the war and living in a countryside where they would spend unforgettable and happy days. zośka also says that during that time “when we were together, he enjoyed me holding his hand or petting his hair.” there were also rumours about the boys’ sexualities during the war, said zośka’s liaison officer. 

but whether they were gay or not, they were still bomb-ass resistance fighters and you should read “stones for the rampart” by aleksander kamiński (there’s also a movie from 2014)

So In Case No One Else Noticed

Several Asian positivity tags have been emptied/deleted. 

ADOV (Asian Day Of Visibility) has no Asians in it. The spelled-out version has a handful of posts, but not nearly as much as there used to be (I’m talking like, 20. There used to be hundreds.

YIDLA (Yes I Do Look Asian) is completely empty.

Yellowout has no selfies in it, just discourse. It definitely used to have actual selfies in it. (the piggybacking issue isn’t what I’m addressing here, I just think its Funny how the selfies were deleted but the discourse wasn’t)

AFAD (asian face appreciation day), #AsianInvasion and #Asian Invasion are still up and running, but it’s still Highly Suspicious that the others have been emptied, especially considering @staff‘s history of emptying/deleting the blackout and blm tags. 

Anyway, I’m fucking livid. @staff care to explain?

anonymous asked:

Jindosh in modern Academia for a prompt?

first of all, he’d be such a MEME

Rate Your Professor, student reviews:

>For everyone curious - yes, the thumb-vape is REAL

>Can’t wait for the day when T-800 comes from the future to stop Jindosh from inventing Skynet

>If Nikola Tesla and Walugi had a baby, and this baby was raised in a vapor store

>I never knew how great the capacity for hate was in my heart before I met him. I am a very peaceful person, but I could strangle him with his own ugly neck-tie.

>FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCKKKK YYYYYYYOOOOOUUUU

>If you thought Severus Snape treated his students badly, get a load of this guy

>My biggest nightmare is that at the greatest moment of my life Jindosh appears and says “Mediocre”.

>One guy was texting during the class and Jindosh jumped from the lector podium, ran up to him, grabbed his phone and threw it out of the window

>The Genius. The Myth. The Dickbag.

>One time he brought something that looked like a box with a periscope on top of it to the class and turned it to us. It pointed laser lines at the foreheads of everyone in the audience and kept tracking people even if they tried to move. Jindosh calmly looked at his clock and said “Hm, 3,5 seconds for a target lock-on.  Needs improvement.”

>There’s a tradition of buying “I Survived Kirin Jindosh’s Murder Course” t-shirts at the end of the year.

> Daddy Long Legs

>One time I saw him drinking coffee from a fancy porcelain cup, then casually chug down 2 red bulls in less than a minute and get back to sipping coffee like nothing happened

>I got a job at Google after I showed them a page from my lab project where Jindosh wrote “Interesting”.

>When I see movies with mad scientists after taking this class: “Pfff, amateurs!”

>He gave us test papers today. We should have been alarmed that it looked like a normal test instead of his usual fucking puzzles, but we were just happy. “He was too busy building death rays in his basement!” we thought. The fools! We started working on a test and after like 20 minutes noticed that our first answers vanished. The paper was dissolving the ink! Jindosh smiled and said that this test will make up one third of our final grade. And then he sat there, smirking and vaping from his goddamn thumb, and watched us panic and try to find something that won’t disappear on these fucking papers.  

>Good luck with your grades if Jindosh doesn’t find you interesting, and God help you if he does.

>This is the asshole that you’re going to hate and curse more than all of the other teachers combined, but then one day he says “Impressive. There might be some potential in you after all” and it’s the proudest you’ve ever felt.

Shit Kirin Jindosh Says, a collaborative documentary account:

“Since you’ve turned in your first homework at the last week’s class, it’s time to address the grades. Everyone gets an “F”.  I didn’t actually read your homework, of course, because I have infinitely more interesting and important things to do than reading your feeble attempts to grasp the obvious. In fact, I could achieve more advancement of the modern technology in a time that this lecture takes than all of you combined will manage in your entire lives. But if anyone thinks that their work deserves my attention, tell me and I will read it right now, and then share everything I think about your papers and you in particular.”

“I took points from the score of your project, Williams, because it’s ugly. Yes, it’s functional, and yes, there’s even an idea that is not completely banal, but it’s put together sloppily. You didn’t perfect the design until the elegance and simplicity of forms could emerge. If you’re not interested in doing this because you want to save your precious time for drinking and orgies, then I suggest you transfer to Sokolov’s class.”

“Today’s lab work is a group project. You will form pairs and each complete one half of the presented tasks. For the next class each of you will also write a program that can complete the same tasks as your partner did. The final goal is to successfully replace the human counterpart.”

“You make me test and challenge myself every day, Parker. I’m used to my genius mind knowing no boundaries, no limits of imagination, yet in the multitude of all possible universes I struggle to imagine a single one where you said anything worthwhile.”

“I have few comments to make regarding a so-called “Jindosh-bot” that roamed the premises yesterday. The integration of a smoke machine for hand-pipe is moderately clever, and the moustache wind-mill was not devoid of originality.  But the movement dynamics are horribly outdated! What did you use as a prototype, an epileptic cow? This is inexcusable as you have an access to the documentation of the Clockwork’s early builds. Overall, B- for the effort.”

SKJS is proud to present our first Kirin Jindosh dub-step remix. Mind your sensitivities, people!

Attached file: “Scintillating_industry.mp3”

Do you guys remember the dream that Chris had about Layne? It just totally breaks my heart 😢

Posted on 10/13/2008
The essence of a dream can follow you all day long. Sometimes two or three days. I have had dreams as a little kid that I remember like they were yesterday, though as time goes on these dream are sometimes hard to tell from actual events as they survive in my memory.
I am fascinated with the essence factor of dreams, period. They are as real as the essence felt from the ambience of an actual place, like a house you grew up in. Your favourite bar, or your school. The first Christmas tree you see every year, the smell of it, and especially songs. Some feelings these environments evoke are awful, some magical. All of them completely real.
Real enough that numerous cultures throughout history have believed that the dream world is every bit as important and substantial and a vital part of human life as the conscious state. Some mysticisms actually look at the world of dreams as being the “true and only world” and everything else an illusion. For my money, if you put an ice pick through your hand, I think it will prove to be a pretty fucking good illusion.
Last night I had a dream that has been following me all day like a sick dog. I was in a hotel near the house I grew up in. I was in a cafe that happened to be the lunch court of my elementary school. Various friends from my past were walking up and talking to me. In the middle of this scene walks Layne Staley. He looked much like he did the first time I met him. Shoulder length hair, clean shaved. Clear eyed and looking about 20 years old. I was so happy. Confused a little, but in a dream like this, I just wanted to accept the idea that there was some mistake and he was alive and well. He seemed happy and said was working on some new music project.
I woke up not long after that with the feeling that I had really just talked to him and he was somewhere doing just fine.
My next thought was one that has plagued me for years. Sitting in Kelly Curtis’ living room with about 30 people, all sobbing. We had just come from Andy Wood’s extra weird funeral-wake thing at the Paramount Theatre. It had these new age overtones that didn’t fit Andy’s life at all. There was an amazing film of Andy with Mother Love Bone band mates. All of Andy’s friends and family were there, mixed with a bunch of fans who I didn’t like but knew Andy would have loved. The fans went home. His friends went to Kelly’s.
We were crammed in a smallish living room with people sitting on every available surface. Couch arms, end tables, the floor. I was leaning on the back of one of the couches that face away from the rest of the room and toward the front door. I remember Andy’s girlfriend looking at everyone and saying “This is just like La Bamba” then suddenly I heard slapping footsteps growing louder and louder as they reached the front door and Layne flew in, completely breaking down and crying so deeply that he looked truly frightened and lost. Very child like. He looked up at everyone at once and I had this sudden urge to run over and grab him and give him a big hug and tell him everything was going to be OK. Kelly has always had a way of making everyone feel like everything will turn out great. That the world isn’t ending. That’s why we were at his place. I wanted to be that person for Layne, maybe just because he needed it so bad. I wasn’t. I didn’t get up in front of the room and offer that and I still regret it. No one else did either. I don’t know why.
Years later, at Layne’s funeral, I was angry. I kept hearing the “twice as bright, half as long” speech and the “he was just too special for this world” nonsense that I had heard at so many other funerals for so many other friends that were so young and talented. I’m not sure why I was that angry. Angry at Layne? Angry at all my other friends for leaving me? Angry at the people running around in circles saying “I knew him best” or “I was the only one he really trusted”, angry at all of them for squandering what I thought of as brilliant futures that would make the world feel to me like a place worth living? Or maybe I was just mad at myself because he was dead, and one time I had a chance to pick him up, dust him off and let him know that there was a person who cared about how much pain he was in and I didn’t do it.
If I ever run into him in a dream again, I hope I remember to apologise.
Night all. Sweet dreams.
C