2.mai

8: 2/2

“May I ask why a certain someone with a certain girlfriend was shirtless this morning departing from the room you slept in,” Cass asked as she walked into the kitchen.

I’d been up, making pancakes since Jaxson left early this morning.

I think I made enough to last them a month… and I didn’t think I’d stop anytime soon.

Cooking was just… relaxing to me.

Measuring out the right portions, repeating the same activity over and over again… it was therapeutic.

I liked to cook.

“No you may not,” I said simply, using the spatula to flip another one.

“Well I’m gonna ask anyways… why did Jax sleep over? And why the fuck was he shirtless,” she asked as she moved to the coffeemaker.

She was dressed in a denim top and bottoms with her name tag on so I assumed she had work.

Cass moved expertly around the kitchen, grabbing different items and tossing them into her bag.

She peeled a banana and took a bite, waiting for me to answer.

I poured out another pancake onto the griddle.

“He has a girlfriend,” she said with a mouth full of banana mush.

I rolled my eyes.

“Thank you for the reminder,” I said as I shifted my weight.

Why was that always the clause?

Why couldn’t people with girlfriends just leave me the fuck alone, anyways?

It was getting tiring at this point.

I still wasn’t sure how to feel about any of this.

I knew… I knew I was doing him a disservice by pushing a friendship he clearly didn’t want but that didn’t mean it hurt any less.

This really fucking sucked.

“So… did you guys have sex? Why didn’t I hear? Was it good?”

I gave her a look.

“It was bad?!”

I snorted.

“We didn’t have sex, Cass. We got in at 4 and he was gonna take the drive home but…”

He ended up crashing instead, after a lot of insisting.

She eyed me, narrowing her eyes a bit as she tried to gauge whether or not I was truthful.

“…He kissed me…”

Her jaw dropped.

“He told me he’s in love with me,” I continued and if her mouth wasn’t on the floor before…

There was a ding and the coffeemaker was alerting her but she wouldn’t turn her eyes away.

“He said he needs time to get over me but… I don’t know Cassie… feels like I got my heart broken…”

“Awwww,” she said, grabbing her cup before it dinged again.

“Why do I feel like this,” I questioned aimlessly.

I knew it was for the best but fuck if it didn’t feel like I lost out on a great thing.

He had answers for everything… he was there for everything… and now he was gone.

“After Hazel, he was your best friend… it’s okay to feel like this… is it for good?”

I shook my head.

“He said he needs time but…” I heaved a sigh. “I don’t know. This sucks,” I spoke truthfully.

She checked the time on her watch and sighed.

“I have to go but I promise we can talk about this tonight,” she said, and then she wrapped her arms around me. “I’m proud of you… for being strong…”

I huffed.

“I’m not strong, Cass… don’t feed me that.”

She just shook her and grabbed a pancake off the large pile. “You are Jordy! You just don’t see it,” she said as she took a bite and ran off through the front door.

It was well into the afternoon and she did mention having work today, which was why she left early last night to begin with, and Hazel was spending the day with Zaire but still… I really didn’t feel like being alone right now.

I usually had music on but I couldn’t find the right playlist so I just gave up.

I felt so… defeated.

There was a knock on the door and with a deep sigh, I dragged my feet towards the front door, spatula in tow.

I frowned when I opened the door.

“You’re supposed to be across the country,” I said, repeating the words he told me back to him.

Kai just shrugged. “I canceled,” he answered simply.

I let my eyes run over him, taking in the really relaxed attire… a Nike hoodie and sweat shorts, a baseball cap and simple running shoes.

They reached his face and I stared for a while.

“…Why?”

“Cause…” and he shrugged again.

Jeez, that was really annoying.

“It… wasn’t that important.”

My eyes moved past him and to the car in the driveway.

I laughed.

“What?”

“Nothing… I just… I don’t know… expected some fancy sports car,” I said.

It was the same one he’d always driven.

He smiled. “Nah… told you I don’t be coming here often… ain’t no point in getting a nice car for no reason,” he explained.

I nodded.

That made sense.

And then we just looked at each other.

“So… you gone let me in or…”

I honestly didn’t even have the energy and I knew talking to him required so much of me, so I wasn’t entirely sure why I pulled the door open wider.

I didn’t think my brain was fully functioning at that moment.

Kai kicked off his shoes and took a seat on the couch. He glanced around the room and scrunched his nose.

“All this pink shit is blinding a nigga.”

“I know right,” I agreed, letting out a laugh despite myself.

It was the truth.

“Did you have a good night,” he asked and I made sure to give him the dirtiest look I could muster. He let out a chuckle. “Besides me…”

I huffed. No. I did not. I absolutely did not have a good night but… it was over. We were past that. 

And at least he knew that he ruined my night… which was comforting to say the least.

Today was a new day though… except last night was technically today.

I’d try again tomorrow. 

“She looked like she was having fun,” he continued. I fell out of my thoughts to raise a brow. “Hazel… she was tipsy as hell,” he called through a laugh.

“Yeah… I think she had a good night.”

It seemed to be the only silver lining here.

“So you and Z organized it? The whole thing? Put it all together?”

I thought about giving him credit but honestly he didn’t do much plus he lied to me about Kai showing up so it was double fuck Zaire.

“It was more me and Cass,” I called and Kai smiled.

“Nah it was super dope… saw the video y’all walking in… helllllla funny,” he said, laughing like he was thinking about it.

“Why didn’t you come on time,” I asked curiously, since there was a time limit of 10 to get there by… and he showed up at on CPT at 1.

“Honestly?” He rubbed a hand over his face. “I wasn’t tryna come all the way out there only to find out you won’t there.”

“Oh,” I offered shortly.

Not expecting that…

“Where are you coming from,” I asked curiously.

Part of him looked well-rested but the other part… still looked troubled.

He said he didn’t have a place here.

“Where else Imma stay? I stay with my mama,” he said with no shame.

It was kinda cute.

“Oh jeez…” I muttered. “I’m sure you’ve extended your stay by now,” I started and he twisted his lips. 

“She be happy as hell when I’m home… you better act like you know,” he retorted playfully.

I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped me. 

“How is she doing, anyways,” I asked, trying my hardest to slip it through naturally and not like I was prying into his life.

I just wanted to know. 

I wasn’t trying to steer the conversation.

He smiled. “She good… ask about you sometimes,” he admitted and my cheeks flushed.

I wasn’t even sure why.

“And your sister? And niece,” I deflected, not wanting to delve. 

He’d spent Mother’s Day with them… I’d seen the photos on his Instagram one day when I took the plunge. It was a really cute picture.

“Yee they good too… Kylie sassy as hell now,” he said with a laugh that made me smile genuinely. “Be swinging her neck when she talking to me and everything,” he said and I could hear the laziness in his speech because ‘everything’ came out as ‘errythang’. 

It was adorable.

“…And your dad?”

He just smiled… and it was that forced one he’d been giving me since yesterday.

…Silence…

He didn’t want to answer.

We really needed to work on this.

I glanced at the clock on the wall and saw it was nearly 2 PM.

I’d been up since 8, standing in the kitchen, trying my best to keep my mind off things.

And then I remembered I still had a batch on the griddle.

“Do you want pancakes,” I asked, my feet shuffling off to the back.

Kai gave me a weird look, glancing at the clock as well. “…Nah,” he finally spoke.

His loss.

His eyes followed me as I moved to the kitchen, and since all of it was open, I could still feel his eyes on me as I shut off the stove.

I didn’t even know where my mind was right now… everything just felt… blank.

It took me a moment to head back to the living room, this time taking a seat at the end of the couch.

He ran his eyes over me… starting at the tip of my head and taking his time until he reached the color on my toenails.

And then he smiled but I saw through it.

There was something really wrong.

“You okay,” he asked, only earning a frown from me.

I should have been asking that.

“Do you believe in soul ties,” I asked instead, wondering if I was right about this…

Was my soul really tied to his?

The longer I looked at him, trying to weave through the layers of trouble behind his eyes… the more I felt I was right… I had been feeling his energy.

This was… fucking crazy.

“What’s that,” he asked with furrowed brows.

The thought of delving made me sigh. Plus… the idea of soul ties seemed really farfetched and I was sure he’d think there was something wrong with me.

“Never mind… it’s kinda lame,” I said as I brought my legs underneath me on the couch. I sat so that my knees pointed in his direction and my body followed suit.

I propped my arm along the couch, resting my temple against my palm.

“Nah, tell me,” he insisted, giving me an encouraging smile.

I just shook my head.

He’d laugh.

“Nooo it’s really lame,” I admitted this time.

He kissed his teeth. “Girl… you bet tell me,” he warned, and a short giggle escaped me.

Whyyy was it so easy for him to get me acting like a little ass girl?!

Ughhhh!

I heaved a sigh.

“So basically… soul ties is like… a connection between the soul’s of two people and it’s like… really powerful and happens after you’ve… you know…” I trailed off, the pinch in his brows making me sigh. “Like…” I trailed off, the words escaping me… or not being able to move through my throat.

Sex!

After you’ve had sex!

It was weird saying that though.

“After you what,” he asked curiously, clearly not following along.

“After you had um… sex,” I said, the word coming out quieter than the others as I felt the heat flush my cheeks.

It was just weird!

I was such an awkward person.

He laughed. “The hell you gotta whisper for?”

”I didn’t,” I blatantly lied and waved him off.

The smile settled on his face.

“Anyways, yeah… so like… you feel connected to the person, no matter what. You can kinda feel what they’re feeling and like… I don’t know… you’re just… connected,” I finished with a stupid shrug.

I wasn’t sure how else to explain it.

“And like,” I continued after a second of his patient eyes waiting for me to make the correlation, “if you can’t really cut ties with the person unless you both do it. And if you feel somebody pulling away, your subconscious makes you reach out to them… and you don’t really know why but you just do it… and it’s because of a soul tie,” I finished off and swallowed.

He let the words simmer.

“I was… trying to cut our tie recently and then you showed up,” I explained and his brows raised slightly. “It’s like… we can feel each other. It’s very spiritual and like… etheric,” I said finally, watching his face as he tried to follow along.

He twisted his lips. “So what, you think we have that?”

“I mean… I believe I have soul ties with you… you could have them with someone else…”

Kai scrunched his nose. “Shaaaade,” he called as he let out a few chuckles.

I smirked and shrugged.

I said what I said.

“So what that mean?”

I let go of a breath.

“For a while before I saw you… I felt like something was wrong. Like… I wasn’t sure what but… something felt wrong with you. And then I saw you last night and you said you were dealing with something and you were stressed and… it like… solidified the feeling.”

He didn’t say anything after that… just sorta looked at me as he tried to make sense of it I guess.

I broke the silence.

“What’s wrong, Kai?”

He chewed on his lip, bringing his fingers to his lips as he rubbed them absently.

He turned to look at me, and bit by bit I could see everything behind his eyes.

“I… dream… sometimes,” he began simply, reaching beneath his cap to scratch the back of his head.

He was quiet for a while.

“About what?”

I could see it… he was literally spilling over with something to say… he just didn’t know how. I could see it in his eyes… he wasn’t sure how to say it.

Come on, Kai…

“About the baby…”

My heart almost stopped beating.

I was not expecting that.

“Yeeeee… like… it’s a boy… and I see him,” he said and I knew he was trying his hardest to make sense of it all. “He has a cute smile… your smile… but my face and my eyes,” he continued, biting on his lip. 

He rested his eyes on me after a moment, I guess waiting for me to offer something.

I searched for the words… and it took a while to find the right ones.

“I… dream too,” I confessed as well.

I saw him… with my parents sometimes…

“Is that what bothers you?”

Kai shook his head. “It’s not that… I…”

…More silence…

And then he looked at me… the sorrow on his face clear as day.

“My dad’s dying, Jordyn.”

And the look in his eyes completely broke me.

My goodness…

Always remember this day

Dad, there’s a monster in my closet…

Story by VITDstories

I woke up feeling a presence standing beside my bed, jolting me out of my sleep. It was my son, and it was 2:38am.

“Dad, there’s something in my closet. I’m scared.”

My wife rolled over at the sound of his voice. “…huh? What’s wrong, honey?” she said, half asleep.

“Closet monster, apparently” I said.

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Verdadeiro ou falso? Pergunte-me

1- É você no ícon?

2- Tem mais de 18 anos de idade?

3- Já teve interesse em alguém do Tumblr?

4- Está interessado em alguém?

5- Já chamou alguém do Tumblr no chat? 

6- Já me mandou anôny?

7- Já trollou alguém em alguma rede social?

8- Já mandou mensagem para a pessoa errada?

9- Já viajou para fora do país?

10- Já deu PT?

11- Já fez dieta?

12- Já quebrou de alguma dieta?

13- Já consumiu bebida alcoólica?

14- Já perdeu dinheiro?

15- Namora?

16- Tem algum animal de estimação?

17- É uma pessoa ciumenta?

18- Já namorou?

19- É virgem?

20- Pensa em se formar?

21- Já é formado?

22- Pensa em casar?

23- Deseja ter filho(s)?

24- Sente saudades de alguém?

25- Gostaria de conversar com alguém, mas não tem coragem de chamar?

26- Já usou aparelho?

27- Já fez algum tipo de cirurgia?

28- Gosta de ir ao médico?

29- Frequenta academia?

30- Já usou drogas?

31- Já se mutilou?

32- Responde todas as ask’s?

33- Recebe muito anôny?

34- Tem mais de um Tumblr?

35- Tem algum piercing?

36- Toca algum instrumento?

37- Tem canal no youtube?

38- Tem instagram?

39- Tem/já teve amizade colorida?

40- É tímido(a)?

41- Já beijou mais de 3 pessoas na mesma noite?

42- Já fez uma declaração de amor?

43- Se acha romântico(a)?

44- Já namorou alguém sem gostar da pessoa?

45- Você mente bem?

46- Acredita em karma?

47- Acredita em signos?

48- Acredita em Deus?

49- Já tentou fazer com que alguém sentisse ciúmes?

50- Chora com facilidade?


Pergunte outra coisa, se desejar.

It’s a superpowered Splatfest this week in Splatoon 2! Which team will reign supreme? Let’s take a look.

Team Flight gets to save a bunch of money on plane tickets and you never have to sit in traffic again! Invisibility has its perks too though. You’d make a pretty great spy, being able to listen in on secret conversations, and skipping lines would be a breeze!

Of course, there’s only one way to settle this argument, and that’s by inking up your opponents on the splattlefield this weekend! Splatfest kicks off Friday 9/1 at 9PM PT and ends Saturday 9/2 at 9PM PT. 

May the best superpower team win!

politico.com
Inside Hillary Clinton’s Secret Takeover of the DNC
When I was asked to run the Democratic Party after the Russians hacked our emails, I stumbled onto a shocking truth about the Clinton campaign.

Right around the time of the convention the leaked emails revealed Hillary’s campaign was grabbing money from the state parties for its own purposes, leaving the states with very little to support down-ballot races. A Politico story published on May 2, 2016, described the big fund-raising vehicle she had launched through the states the summer before, quoting a vow she had made to rebuild “the party from the ground up … when our state parties are strong, we win. That’s what will happen.”

Yet the states kept less than half of 1 percent of the $82 million they had amassed from the extravagant fund-raisers Hillary’s campaign was holding, just as Gary had described to me when he and I talked in August. When the Politico story described this arrangement as “essentially … money laundering” for the Clinton campaign, Hillary’s people were outraged at being accused of doing something shady. Bernie’s people were angry for their own reasons, saying this was part of a calculated strategy to throw the nomination to Hillary.

I wanted to believe Hillary, who made campaign finance reform part of her platform, but I had made this pledge to Bernie and did not want to disappoint him. I kept asking the party lawyers and the DNC staff to show me the agreements that the party had made for sharing the money they raised, but there was a lot of shuffling of feet and looking the other way.

When I got back from a vacation in Martha’s Vineyard I at last found the document that described it all: the Joint Fund-Raising Agreement between the DNC, the Hillary Victory Fund, and Hillary for America.

The agreement—signed by Amy Dacey, the former CEO of the DNC, and Robby Mook with a copy to Marc Elias—specified that in exchange for raising money and investing in the DNC, Hillary would control the party’s finances, strategy, and all the money raised. Her campaign had the right of refusal of who would be the party communications director, and it would make final decisions on all the other staff. The DNC also was required to consult with the campaign about all other staffing, budgeting, data, analytics, and mailings.

the constant nonsense about russia is a distraction from the fact that the people who handed us president trump are hillary clinton and the democratic party

Voyager: The Space Between

Our Voyager 1 spacecraft officially became the first human-made object to venture into interstellar space in 2012. 

Whether and when our Voyager 1 spacecraft broke through to interstellar space, the space between stars, has been a thorny issue. 

In 2012, claims surfaced every few months that Voyager 1 had “left our solar system.” Why had the Voyager team held off from saying the craft reached interstellar space until 2013?

Basically, the team needed more data on plasma, which is an ionozied gas that exists throughout space. (The glob of neon in a storefront sign is an example of plasma).

Plasma is the most important marker that distinguishes whether Voyager 1 is inside the solar bubble, known as the heliosphere.  The heliosphere is defined by the constant stream of plasma that flows outward from our Sun – until it meets the boundary of interstellar space, which contains plasma from other sources.

Adding to the challenge: they didn’t know how they’d be able to detect it.

No one has been to interstellar space before, so it’s  like traveling with guidebooks that are incomplete.

Additionally, Voyager 1’s plasma instrument, which measures the density, temperature and speed of plasma, stopped working in 1980, right after its last planetary flyby.

When Voyager 1 detected the pressure of interstellar space on our heliosphere in 2004, the science team didn’t have the instrument that would provide the most direct measurements of plasma. 

Voyager 1 Trajectory

Instead, they focused on the direction of the magnetic field as a proxy for source of the plasma. Since solar plasma carries the magnetic field lines emanating from the Sun and interstellar plasma carries interstellar magnetic field lines, the directions of the solar and interstellar magnetic fields were expected to differ.

Voyager 2 Trajectory

In May 2012, the number of galactic cosmic rays made its first significant jump, while some of the inside particles made their first significant dip. The pace of change quickened dramatically on July 28, 2012. After five days, the intensities returned to what they had been. This was the first taste test of a new region, and at the time Voyager scientists thought the spacecraft might have briefly touched the edge of interstellar space.

By Aug. 25, when, as we now know, Voyager 1 entered this new region for good, all the lower-energy particles from inside zipped away. Some inside particles dropped by more than a factor of 1,000 compared to 2004. However, subsequent analysis of the magnetic field data revealed that even though the magnetic field strength jumped by 60% at the boundary, the direction changed less than 2 degrees. This suggested that Voyager 1 had not left the solar magnetic field and had only entered a new region, still inside our solar bubble, that had been depleted of inside particles.

Then, in April 2013, scientists got another piece of the puzzle by chance. For the first eight years of exploring the heliosheath, which is the outer layer of the heliosphere, Voyager’s plasma wave instrument had heard nothing. But the plasma wave science team had observed bursts of radio waves in 1983 and 1984 and again in 1992 and 1993. They determined these bursts were produced by the interstellar plasma when a large outburst of solar material would plow into it and cause it to oscillate.

It took about 400 days for such solar outbursts to reach interstellar space, leading to an estimated distance of 117 to 177 AU (117 to 177 times the distance from the Sun to the Earth) to the heliopause.

Then on April 9, 2013, it happened: Voyager 1’s plasma wave instrument picked up local plasma oscillations. Scientists think they probably stemmed from a burst of solar activity from a year before. The oscillations increased in pitch through May 22 and indicated that Voyager was moving into an increasingly dense region of plasma.

The above soundtrack reproduces the amplitude and frequency of the plasma waves as “heard” by Voyager 1. The waves detected by the instrument antennas can be simply amplified and played through a speaker. These frequencies are within the range heard by human ears.

When they extrapolated back, they deduced that Voyager had first encountered this dense interstellar plasma in Aug. 2012, consistent with the sharp boundaries in the charged particle and magnetic field data on Aug. 25.

In the end, there was general agreement that Voyager 1 was indeed outside in interstellar space, but that location comes with some disclaimers. They determined the spacecraft is in a mixed transitional region of interstellar space. We don’t know when it will reach interstellar space free from the influence of our solar bubble.

Voyager 1, which is working with a finite power supply, has enough electrical power to keep operating the fields and particles science instruments through at least 2020, which will make 43 years of continual operation.

Voyager 1 will continue sending engineering data for a few more years after the last science instrument is turned off, but after that it will be sailing on as a silent ambassador. 

In about 40,000 years, it will be closer to the star AC +79 3888 than our own Sun.

And for the rest of time, Voyager 1 will continue orbiting around the heart of the Milky Way galaxy, with our Sun but a tiny point of light among many.

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space: http://nasa.tumblr.com.

10

JOURNEY TO FEARLESS.

BORN- November 7th, 2008
DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER- October 15, 2013
FIRST BIG BREAK IN FIGHT- January 2, 2014
TUMOR INACTIVE- May 1, 2014
GOT TO HUG THE HUMAN THAT HELPED HER THROUGH HER FIGHT- May 7, 2014
TUMORS RETURN- November 18, 2014
TUMORS INACTIVE- December 18, 2014
TUMORS RETURN- February 20, 2015
TUMORS GROW NEAR OPTIC NERVE WITH RISK OF SPREADING- August 20, 2015
SURGERY TO REMOVE EYE COMPROMISED FROM CANCER- September 3, 2015
CANCER FREE- SEPTEMBER 23, 2015
1 YEAR CANCER FREE- September 23, 2016
2 YEARS CANCER FREE- September 23, 2017

@taylorswift, I don’t know if you remember my niece, Khloe. You planned a visit to CHLA in 2014 specifically to meet her after seeing her story and hashtag all over Instagram. You spent about 40 minutes with her talking, laughing, and making her feel loved and important. It was one of the best days. I don’t know if you’ll ever fully comprehend the impact of that day on her and our family during that time. You brought such a breath of fresh air to all of us when we felt like we were drowning. And it’s a day we held onto throughout the rest of her fight. In 2015, she was battling cancer again and it was very serious. The tumors started to impact her eyesight and it got to the point where she could only see shadows in her right eye. They were growing near her optic nerve and there was the big risk that it could spread to the rest of her body if she didn’t have surgery to remove her eye. We actually found out the day before your 1st LA show of the 1989 tour. Since finding out the news, it was all a blur but that night at the show, we forgot everything that was happening outside of those walls. Khlo wasn’t a child with cancer, she was just a child having the time of her life watching her favorite perform all the songs that brought her happiness in her hard times. You did that. I actually blew my savings to surprise her with floor seats to the last of the LA shows. At one point in the show I lifted her up above the crowd and she wholeheartedly believes you smiled at her and she kept asking me if I thought you remembered her. I always replied the same, ‘There is no way anyone could ever forget you.’ I post this all because I remember watching an interview years back when you said one of the hardest parts of your job is meeting children battling cancer and then returning to the hospital years later and them not being there. So I just want you to know, Khlo did battle cancer twice more, and it did steal her sight from her right eye, but it didn’t steal her from us. Her FEARLESS heart still beats strong. She still absolutely LOVES you and still has her dance parties to your music. The difference is that now it’s no longer in hospital rooms but in her own. Thank you for being a constant source of happiness for her. I always loved you on my own but the fact that I get to love you through her, is what makes me thankful for you everyday.

Inktober #1! Sherlock Holmes, ballpoint in my paperblanks sketchbook. 2-3 hours, mad mad lines. (i’m a little past midnight but i fully intend to do one for day 2 as well. may add an actual scan tomorrow under the cut)

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