I want to drink lots of wine, and then throw the glassware against a wall. I want to speed way past the speed limit on an empty freeway at 2 in the morning. I want to feel that emptiness in my stomach…I like that feeling, like when you’re on a roller coaster and right before it goes fast, it’s going slow. I want to feel my heart beating against my chest, I want to hear every beat of my existence. I know I am alive, but I want to feel alive. I want to feel things I’ve never felt before. I want to feel things that don’t exist in another persons mind. I want to remember every detail about every little thing, I want to listen to good music and reminisce. I want to reminisce about the sad things to remember why it made me sad, and I want to reminisce about the happy things to simply remind myself that I don’t need to be sad. But, what I want most of all is to forget you. I want to paint your stupid face, and then rip the picture apart. I want to bury every rose you ever gave me, and yes, I kept every stem, and every petal in a jar. I want to take back the only thing that was mine that I gave to you so willingly. I want to take back the endless nights thinking of forever. I want to go back and fall out of love before I fell into it. I want to be in love again. I want to be in love again, but this time I want it to be real.