1x03 dead in the water

Day 22: Monologue

Talking to Lucas in Dead in the Water:

You know, I’m thinking you can hear me, you just don’t want to talk. I don’t know exactly what happened to your dad, but I know it was something real bad. I think I know how you feel. When I was your age, I saw something.
Anyway. Well, maybe you don’t think anyone will listen to you, or believe you. I want you to know that I will. You don’t even have to say anything. You could draw me a picture about what you saw that day, with your dad, on the lake.
Okay, no problem. This is for you. 
(…) That’s my dad. That’s my mom. That’s my geek brother, and that’s me. (…) All right, so I’m a sucky artist. I’ll see you around, Lucas.”

I love how gentle and understanding Dean is with Lucas, how he doesn’t try to pressure him into talking. How he suggests alternative means of communication. How he treats Lucas like an equal. How he offers to listen, but doesn’t force Lucas to open up if Lucas doesn’t want to. And how instead of leaving the second it becomes clear Lucas isn’t going to talk, Dean stays a little longer, because Lucas isn’t just a possible witness – he’s also a kid that Dean cares about.

Don't leave me

Originally posted by guardian-of-lavender-dawn

Warnings: Drowning, fights, feels.

Request: Could you write an imagine where during Dead in the Water the reader dives in the water to save Lucas, and gets dragged down in stead, and Dean saves her, and when she’s not breathing he’s crying and begging her to come back while Sam does CPR. It eventually works and Dean is a mess, and the reader is coughing and Dean hugs her and keeps telling her home much he loves her.

Notes: Finally ready! Sorry for taking so much time to write this, but my vacation is over and i’m not feeling exactly fine so…

This story passes in Dead in the Water 1x03, sorry for putting so much of the episode in the story.

It’s small but i hope you guys like it, the other requests will be out in a few days.

And guys… talk to me.

Follow @realdiepie

“Stop yelling!” You screamed.

“I’m not fucking yelling (Y/N)” He shouted angry. “I’m just trying to make you understand that i didn’t flirt with that girl! Because i fucking love you” 

“Do you?” You anwered sarcastically, lowering your voice trying to prevent the tears from falling. You met Dean two years ago in a hunt and since then you were girlfriend and boyfriend. But since his father went missing and you two went to Stanford to get his little brother Sammy, you two were fighting over every little thing. You didn’t believe in his “I love you” anymore, you didn’t believe in anything. You sighed readying yourself to say what you were thinking for the last days. “I’m so done of this. After this hunt, i’m gone.”  

But before he could open his mouth to answer you, Sam opened the door looking at you two a little confused. 

“Guys, we need to go…” He said making Dean - who stared straight into your eyes with a underable expression - shake his head and follow his brother outside the room. 

You let a single tear drop from your eye and followed the guys to the Impala. You were working on a case of some suspicious drowning, including the drowning of the husband of Andrea, the girl you said Dean was flirting with. She was beautiful, you had to admit, probably prettier than you. The fights with Dean made your self-esteem become pretty low. Because of this, you didn’t blame the girl, actually a little part of you didn’t even blame Dean for flirting. You’re fucked up. If you were Dean, you wouldn’t stand your self anymore too.


You let a silent tear fall when you thought about how your relationship was going, this was not right. You loved Dean with all your heart, you really did. But with all the fights, all the distrust of both parts, you just couldn’t stand it anymore. And it hurt so much. 

“(Y/N)? Is everything okay?” Sam’s preoccupied voice interrupted your thoughts, making you look at him. You and Sam were in the Impala waiting for Dean to finish packing because the Sheriff of the town kicked you out. It’s sucked but it happened in some cases.  

“Yeah Sammy.” You said giving him a small smile trying to stop crying, but of course he didn’t believe you. He sighed shaking his head in denial.

“Look (Y/N), i know my brother can be an ass sometimes but… i know he loves you and…”

“He doesn’t Sam.” You interruped him with a very broken heart. “Maybe one day he did but… we’re not the same anymore. He doesn’t care like he used to, but i do… and that’s why i’m gonna leave.” 

“There’s nothing i could say to make you change your mind?” Sam asked with a sad voice and you shaked your head in denial. “In this case, i’m gonna miss you… we didn’t have many regular woman in our life and i’m happy to say that you’re one of them.” He said smiling offering you his hand and you took it finally after days, smiling a little bit. 

“Thank you Sam, i’m gonna miss you too.” You said and he smiled but before you could continued this conversation, Dean enter the car with a serious face, you were still mad at him but you knew that something was bugging him.

“What’s wrong Dean?” Sam asked and Dean accelerated the car to the opposite direction of the city’s exit.  

“We’re going to Andrea’s.” He said and Sam’s eyebrowns frowed.

“Andrea’s? Why?” Sam cried and you sighed knowing exactly what this was about. 

“I’m not leaving this city until i make sure Lucas is okay.”  

When you finally arrived, you guys found Andrea drowning in the bathtub, and Lucas desesperate. After Sam took her out of the bathtub, you stayed in the house talking to Andrea and trying to understand what the heck was going on.
In the morning Lucas found the dead kid’s bicycle and you understood what happened. The sheriff and Bill Carlton killed one kid drowing him into the lake, and now this kid was haunting their families. 

“LUCAS!” The sheriff screamed and you saw the little one on the edge of the lake. Shit. You and all the others started running and when he was pulled into the lake by the kid’s spirit, you were the first one to jump to get him. You got Lucas’ hand and boost him towards the surface feeling the spirit grab your feet.  

“Lucas! Oh my god” Andrea cried and with Sam’s help, they got Lucas out of the lake. 

“(Y/N)?” Dean asked when he saw that Lucas came out of the water but you didn’t, he started to panic. “(Y/N)!” He screamed trowing himself into the water to search for you. He could feel his whole body shaking with the fear of losing you. He couldn’t lose you. 

His mind wans’t processing things but his hands were moving like crazy in the water trying to find you. Until his hands finally met something that seemed to be your waist. He pulled you out, and Sam helped him lay you down on the pier.  

“(Y/N)?” Dean asked looking at your non breathing body, starting to fear the worst. 

“(Y/N) Wake up damn it!” He screamed shaking your body and before he knew, he felt tears in his cheeks. 

“Move Dean!” Sam screamed trowing himself on the top of you so he could do CPR. Dean was sobbing when he took your cold hand watching Sam pressing your chest and breathing into your mouth. 

“Wake up (Y/N), you can’t leave me!” Dean begged crying hard. “I never want you to leave… come back to me babe.” 

Sam tried a few more times before starting to feel his own eyes fill with tears as he looked up at his brother, shaking his head in denial. Dean’s eyes widened and he shook his head not wanting to believe. 

“No Sam…”He started and Sam wiped his face of tears.  

“She’s gone Dean.”

“NO DAMN IT!” Dean screamed starting to do CPR in you again. He refused to let you go. When Sam was about to pull his brother away from your body, you started coughing water.

“(Y/N) oh god” Dean said crying in relief when you opened your eyes confused. He helped you sit to cough some more water and after you finally stopped, he hugged you still feeling the tears fall. 

“I love you so much sweetheart.” He cried still hugging you. “Please don’t leave me, please…”

“De-dean…” You started still feeling a little dizzy. 

“Shh… c’mom let’s get you inside.” He said but before anything else, he touched his lips on yours so gently that it was almost like you weren’t kissing. “I love you (Y/N), don’t ever doubt that. Don’t leave me, please, we can make this work, don’t leave me.” 

“I’m not going anymore Dean” You said a little surprised, confused but extremely happy to hear that as you wiped his tears. “Even if i want to, i love you too much for that.”

He sighed in relief kissing your forehead before getting up and carrying you in his arms into the house. And even though words weren’t spoken, you knew that the fights would be over for a very long time from now on.


1x03 “Dead in the Water”
♫ Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers ♫

“Dead in the Water” is probably one of my absolute favourite episodes and of course to a good extent that is due to how Dean heavy it is, how in the third episode of this show ever you already have such a beautiful and complete grasp on who Dean Winchester is and what shaped him most. Through Lucas the show tells Dean’s story of loss and trauma and fear too. Where for Lucas it was the element water that took his father away while he only helplessly coud stand and watch leaving him traumatized suffering from PTSD and unable to talk, for Dean it was the element fire that took his mother from him, which deeply traumatized Dean and as he himself reveals in this episode had him not “feeling much like talking”. Through helping Lucas, Dean a teeny tiny bit, has the chance to work through his own tragic story and heal a little bit because in the end he was able to save Lucas and being saved even back then already - pre Hell, pre Purgatory, pre the apocalypse, pre the mark - was something Dean had long gave up to ever just be a possibility for himself.

What struck me most though when re-watching the episode the other day was the use of the toy soldiers that I of course had taken note of before, but had never made this connection before. Right from the beginning when Dean goes to speak with Lucas for the first time it is established that Dean used to play with these toy soldiers too - and of course sure enough 4 seasons later one of those very toy soldiers would play a major role in averting the apocalypse and equipping Sam with the energy to overpower Lucifer long enough to jump into the cage. Throughout the episode almost every time we see Lucas he us surrounded by these toy soldiers almost like he thinks of them as a protection. And they do their job for a while, but not completely, because in the end it is the one toy soldier that fell into the lake that endangers Lucas’s life and with that does the opposite of what Lucas may have hoped to achieve with having them around. BUT of course Lucas gets saved and not by anyone, but Dean Winchester, the boy who has experienced similar trauma as Lucas did. Dean Winchester, the boy who was referred to as “daddy’s good little soldier”.

And while this is breaking my heart when thinking about how all of it falls together, there is a sad but beautiful poetry about Dean, the boy who had to grow up way too fast himself, ending up being the true protector as “toy soldier” for Lucas here and maybe, just maybe, even though he himself wouldn’t ever think of it that way, saved himself too in that moment, saved the four year old boy who lost his childhood in the night of november 2nd, 1983. Judging from Dean’s facial expressions when he pulled Lucas’ head back above water, the pain written all over his features imo reaches deeper than Dean worrying he may have come too late to save Lucas or Dean’s general immense ability of empathy, to me it is pain felt due to memories being shaken loose and wounds starting to bleed again, because they had never truly healed…