1k:d

d-

 

I miss you.

 

I shouldn’t cry over you, but I do. I shouldn’t talk about you like you’re still here, but I do. I shouldn’t miss you this much, but I do.

 

I miss our friendship. It seemed so solid and full of love and respect and care for each other.

 

We’ve known each other since we were really little. I adore your family. Your grandparents have always been so kind and loving towards me. You’re sister is a little shit sometimes but I still love her. I love your mom so much it’s ridiculous, her and I used to make fun of you a lot. Your aunt is a wonderful person and her two boys are so precious. You dad scares the living shit out of me, I’m not gonna like, but I like him anyway. I love your dogs so fucking much.

 

I’m upset and angry and confused and hurt. I don’t understand why you chose your 5 month relationship over our 14+ year friendship after you told her over and over and over that there’s nothing between us. I don’t understand because she says that you’re lying and you’re cheating and no matter what you tell her it doesn’t make a difference. I don’t understand how you can just go from talking to me everyday for almost two years to not even texting. Not trying to talk to me once in 7 months.

 

I miss being able to call you because I’m upset that my dog is dying. I miss that I can’t send you pictures that made me laugh and reminded me of you. I miss that we can’t talk about all the things that we were gonna do together in our lives, like visiting museums and Duluth (you have never been there and it’s lovely this time of year). I miss going bowling or mini golfing or just hanging out with your grandparents whenever you visited down here. I miss making fun of your little truck (the blue ranger with the cat stickers). I miss when you’d call me and leave me voicemail messages, they were few and far between but still appreciated. I miss that you would flip me off every time I’d try to take a picture of us. I miss that you’d let me take a nice picture right after. I don’t miss that time you stepped on my leg after your football game and gave me a nasty bruise that lasted a month. I miss hugging you on the field though (even though you smelled like ass). I miss when you’d make me tell you everything that I love about you.

 

I miss you and our friendship that I have treasured so much over the years because you truly are my best friend.

 

I miss you.

 

Maybe I’ll see you someday soon. Maybe I’ll talk to you. Maybe I’ll hug you. Maybe I’ll cry about you.

 

Maybe I won’t.

 

-k