ako ay ireg kaya surprise ako palagi pag nagkakaroon. at nagkaron ako kanina then naubos yung stock na pads dito then bumili ako sa sari-sari store. si kuyang nagtitinda hindi alam kung magkano ang modess at halatang halatang na-aawkwardan hahaha. wan ko ba bat hiyang hiya sila. ano bang nakakahiya don? para ka lang din namang bumibili ng shampoo or sabon. aba malay.

remaining humble

Worked 17 hours yesterday and ended up in Teterboro NJ delivering a tool from Bombardier to a company to use. Returned the tool back to Windsor locks CT and stayed at a hotel there. Woke up worked a plane in Hartford CT all day today. Now im leavin’ my house at midnight to go change a wheel on a Gulfstream in Boston.

Im really enjoying the fast paced work environment of the AOG corporate jet world. Working a 9-5 was pushing me to creative death… it wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy my work though. The same commute every day, the same drive-thru, the same stupid phrases my lame coworker would say.. now I dont live on for the weekend. I find myself enjoying my time at my sporadic and always changing work. It’s a good feeling. 

Can we just fall in love again without bringing the past? I’ll forget the heartbreak and I’ll pretend the all the scars were there because I fell down the stairs if you forget all the mistakes I done, how I take this love for granted and all the poetry I’ve written that weren’t always kind. They were never kind. Not to you and not even to me.

Let’s experience the things that makes us fall in love with each other again. Let’s saw each other face and smile instantly, how warm traveled all over me when I saw that light in your eyes. Let’s have those midnight phone calls and just skip sleep altogether. Tell me everything again like you never told me before. I’ll throw away the fears. I’ll throw away the “how many other girls he’s done this to”, the “I should reply this longer than he takes to reply”, the “I should talk to other boys so I don’t look so in love with him”

Because time is running out. It keeps blowing strikes to me at heart. Each a reminder of how I let this go. How I let my soul learn how to get used to all these spaces between us. When all I ever wish was skin on skin.

So let’s just fall in love again. Tenderly. Innocently. Quickly. Recklessly. Boldly. Bravely. Like we never hurt each other.

Don’t mind the scars. We can save each other later. Let’s just fall in love again.

—  in my defense part. 2