always meet me in the hallway. Whether it was four AM, three in the afternoon
or so early she had almost had to leave for work, she was waiting for me to
come home. For a kiss placed upon her lips, her arms snaking around my waist
one of the things I always looked forward to. Gradually, she didn’t wait for me
anymore. I don’t know what caused her to be so heartbroken that she’d just laid
on the sofa, eyes trained on the television as I passed her.
where it started. Rumours. I’m not one to go around and lie that I didn’t do
anything wrong, because I’m not perfect – but whatever magazines were
slandering about, I knew that wasn’t
true. I’d never do anything that would do Y/n any wrong. But I think, and somehow,
I hope I’m wrong, that it had gotten through her head. Everything she heard –
from so many people – pictures that were ripped out of their context – I just
couldn’t blame her. We never spoke a word about it. Per her request.
I hope she
still loves me. I hope, that when it gets better, when I get better, she’ll give me another chance and it’ll work out. When
I got home today, her last drop seemed to have fallen.
“Y/N, I’m home…” My voice hasn’t been chirpy
since she stopped waiting for me – I know I can’t just expect her to do so, but
it seemed she enjoyed it as well. I hear a mumble coming from somewhere out of
my field of sight, so I take a few steps into my home.
“Harry.” Y/n appears in front of me, apparently
completely dressed, her jacket slung over her shoulder. I stare at her, at
every aspect of her, and I feel my throat already constricting. “Where are you
going love?” Her lip starts quivering and without a second thought I leap
towards her and cup her face in my cold hands.
“H., I – I need some time off. I think.” She
averts her gaze and I swallow to keep any fluids at bay. Within a split second,
I wanted to scream out and vomit all over my floor. She can’t leave me. Not
now. “Y/n, sweetheart, where would you go? Please, don’t leave me.”
She just shakes her head. I don’t want her to disappear
through that door and not know where she is. I don’t think my heart could
handle that. It was more than logical in my mind that the next words flowed
past my lips. “Stay. I’ll leave.”
“Harry, no. This is your home; I was just a
guest.” She pushes me away from her and starts shrugging her jacket on; but I
won’t have it. “The moment you stepped foot insides this house it was also
yours. Everything that I own is yours.” My words were heavy and I hope she
grasped the nuances behind it. For now, I might as well leave.
“I’ll come collect my things when you’re at
work tomorrow.” I mumble, my voice so strained I think she knows exactly how I
feel. I take another step towards her, pressing my lips against hers, for
maybe, my last time. I didn’t look back, because she would see how much this
was paining me.
roamed the streets for the rest of the day. I didn’t want Y/n doing this, but
right now I didn’t know where to go either. Of course, I could just give Lou or
Niall a call and I’m sure they’d help me out almost immediately, but, we were
going our own way and I don’t think they liked their former bandmate crashing
on their sofa for an unspecified amount of time.
I walk and
walk, think and try to force myself to think harder, for it to get better, for
me to get better, for some way to work this out. I knew my girl and I know the
most important thing she needed now was time. But I wasn’t going down without a
still feels vice-grip-tight, my throat closed off. I’m in some sort of daze
where I somewhat realize I’m walking the streets of London, but I have
absolutely no idea where I am. At some point, I’m sure I passed Piccadilly
Circus, but it seemed so empty. I had never seen it empty.
hard, both for her and I alike. I wouldn’t want to think about reading so much
slander about my girlfriend and
pretending everything is alright. I would’ve cracked months ago. The hours pass
and the sun trades his place with the moon.
When I stop
in front of his door, I don’t know how much time has passes. I just hope he’s
still up. I need a friend, horribly. I hear his heavy footsteps stomp towards
his front door and shrug my coat closer to my shivering frame as I hear the
are you doing here? It’s almost six in the morning, man.” Niall opens the door,
rubbing his eyes tiredly as he stares behind me to see if I brought anyone with
me – Y/N.
“Y/n and I –
uh – we are on a break.” I cast my gaze down, biting my lips while stuffing my
hands in my coat pockets. I hear Niall sigh and the door creak. “Come in, H.
You want some tea?”
I talk to
Niall about it. Every single little thing that has eventually built up to my
relationship crumbling at my feet. I feel helpless and I never thought I’d
experience something like this again. “I don’t know what to do now, Niall. If I
lose her, I’ll practically lose everything. But the horrific part of it all is
that I get her and I wouldn’t blame her if she decided to let it be.”
sits there and lets me ramble. We talk until ten in the morning when he offers
his guest room to me. I assure him it’s just for a few days – at most.
days pass and when I’m not doing promo for the new album or recording, I try to
stay out of Niall’s way as much as possible. I don’t know what I need to do,
but I need to come up with something, fast. I’ve been so occupied in my mind
that it’s physically paining me.
I walk the
streets, and by now I find that I almost have them all completely memorised. I’ve
met some new people, found some new bars. But all I could think about is how
much Y/n would like this overjoyed fan, or how much she’s like the paintings on
the wall on this art-themed café.
stopped at my front door many times, about to knock, but deciding not to. This
day wasn’t any different, although I’ve been standing here for almost an hour
now. I lack the courage of knocking, or just entering, and talking to her. I’m
afraid – terrified even – she’ll say the things I don’t want to hear.
Just when I
had decided to come back another day, hopefully with more courage, or maybe a
box of Y/n’s favourite chocolates, I feel my phone vibrating in my coat pocket.
A text message from her flashes brightly onto my phone screen.
If she closes her eyes hard enough, and just at the right moments, Y/n can feel Harry in Dan.
It’s quite peculiar, how she finds Harry in almost anything. It’s something she finds so riveting yet so dangerous at the same time. He’s everywhere, he’s in every breath she takes and in every move she makes, and it’s something that brings her an overwhelming sense of comfort yet an overbearing sense of instability.
Dan—who varies oh, so differently from Harry—can feel like him if she really tries hard enough. His arms don’t hold her quite the same, and his lips aren’t as soft and flavorful, but if she squeezes her eyes shut, and she loses herself in the memories of Harry, it’s like he’s almost back again, only in the most minuscule of ways.
Which is why now, in this moment in time, Y/n can barely keep her eyes open.
It’s the first time Y/n brought Dan to the house, letting him stop by to watch a film after his shift. It’s a little something he’s wanted to do for a while, and after many coffee dates and many pleas from Dan, she finally took the step of being completely alone with him.
Gabby decided to go to a friends house and insisted they take their time together. It started off wonderfully; a bottle of red wine, a box of chocolates, and a bag of popcorn while they watched Jaws.
It was all wonderful until Dan decided to make the move.
Dan is on top of her, lips connecting to hers in a lustful motion. It isn’t that Y/n doesn’t want to be in this position, but more of her being hesitant to do so. She hasn’t kissed anybody since Harry, and although Dan is one of the nicest people she’s ever met, she can’t find it within herself to keep moving any more forward.
And everything about it feels wrong.
Between all the touching, all the kissing, all the feelings within her, she can’t stop thinking about Harry. She can’t stop thinking about how much she misses him and how much she wants him back. She’s still in love with him, so much so that doing this with someone else makes her feel dirty—makes her feel like she’s betraying him.
And it’s all too much, because no matter how hard she closes her eyes, no matter how hard she tries to feel him, he’s not there, and she can’t help but seem to think that he never will be—not anymore.
“No, no, stop.” She whimpers, shaking her head in an attempt to reject Dan’s restless lips.
He doesn’t stop, however, too engaged in the moment to really understand the words stuttering from her mouth. He continues kissing her, instead, moving down to her collarbones.
At this point, Y/n starts to hyperventilate. Between the sobs daring to escape her chest and the lack of air from her previous activities, everything is straining against her. She doesn’t fully understand how she was able to get this far without it being with Harry.
Her arms push Dan off of her until she’s alone on the couch as he’s panting on the floor. She can’t breathe. Her chest is tightening and her cries are so harsh that her lungs are collapsing inside of her.
She reaches her hands up to the roots of her hair, pulling back on them as she tries to gather all the oxygen she can. At this point, her head feels light and her sight is completely blurred by the tears flowing out of them—ones that she doesn’t even try to stop.
“I’m s—so sor—ry.” She hiccups, her head falling to her hands.
Dan gulps as he tentatively stands from his spot on the floor, his hands up in front of him as if in a panic, trying desperately to figure out how to fix the mess being made in front of him.
He looks around the room, as if in search for something to guide him through this situation, but there’s nothing. All the room occupies is a Y/n sobbing breathlessly on a couch in front of him, muttering incoherent phrases under her breath.
“Okay,” he huffs out, nodding his head to himself, “It’s okay, yeah? You’re okay?”
He occupies the empty spot next to her, hesitantly wrapping an arm around her shoulders in an attempt to comfort her. In all honesty, Dan is complete shit at helping people during emotional breakdowns, and considering this one had happened so suddenly, he had absolutely no warning that he would be put in this position.
Y/n feels bad, she does, considering Dan doesn’t deserve the treatment she’s given him and surely doesn’t deserve what was once an innocent date to end up a complete disaster. But she can’t help it, and she can’t stop now, no matter how hard she tries.
“It’s Harry, isn’t it?”
His voice is nothing but a whisper, and the words that spoke out from his lips nearly brings every movement in Y/n’s body to a halt. She never told him that it was Harry who broke her heart, and to be honest, she doesn’t even find the strength within her to begin to question how he even knows of Harry—especially his relationship with her.
Of course, their relationship has been publicized for years, but Dan is a very closed-off type of person. He’s not much into music, either—another part of him that differs so drastically from Harry—and spends a majority of his time working or spending time outside rather than succumbing himself in social media.
He looks down at the rose ring wrapped around his pointer finger, twirling it around with the hand that was once wrapped around Y/n’s shoulders.
He knew the moment he saw Harry’s reaction that this ring very much belonged to him. He wasn’t quite sure why she sacrificed it so mindlessly—why it seemed to have no story behind it. But between everything Gabby’s told him and everything he’s gathered from her previous relationship, she wanted nothing more than to get rid of every reminder she had of him.
He doesn’t feel worthy enough for it, though. If Y/n and Harry don’t find their way back to each other, he feels she should at least give it to somebody that she loves, not somebody she needs to help her get over her heartbreak.
He slides it off his finger, placing it gently on the palm of his hand before closing his fingers into a fist.
“We can’t keep doing this, Y/n. Not if you can’t talk to me.” He mutters softly, “Not if you’re still in love with him, we’ll be getting nowhere.”
This makes her cry harder. She still doesn’t have the audacity to look up at him, no, how could she? After everything she’s done?
This is why she always ends up alone. No matter how in love she is, no matter how much effort she puts into a relationship, they always end up leaving her. It’s happened long before Harry, and she was so convinced he’d stay when he came around. She was so dead set on him being her forever, but the same thing happened again. He left, just like everyone else.
And now, Dan is leaving her, and although she can’t exactly blame him for doing so, it’s another wound to her heart—it’s another pain in her chest that only seems to increase with pain.
He sighs sadly at the sight in front of him, upset with himself that he’s probably a partial reason for her soul-shaking sobs and lack of air, but he has no other choice. If he stays with her, he’d be forcing her to love someone she doesn’t. He has to let her go if it means to possibly make amends with her happiness again.
He takes one of her shaking hands away from her face and bringing it towards his lap, spreading her fingers away from her palm so that he can set the ring softly against it.
She sobs at the sight, bringing her opposite hand to her mouth as she tries to quiet herself down.
“This was Harry’s, it always was. This belongs to you, Y/n, not me.”
She nods, trying her best to smile at him as a form of appreciation, but it fails miserably. He understands, though, that she cares, and doesn’t ask her any questions.
“I’ll let Gabby know to come home now, okay?”
He kisses the top of her head, the way he always does, before removing himself from the couch and toward the front door.
“Take care of yourself, Y/n. I mean it.”
And then, he’s gone, leaving Y/n alone in an empty house and her haunting thoughts. She feels the world is closing in on her, only giving her a restricted amount of air and a limited amount of light to see what’s in front of her.
She’s alone—she’s left by herself in a dark room that’s only being illuminated by the television light, where nobody can hear her, where nobody can touch her, where nobody can see her; in a place where she just can’t trust herself.
She’s left alone, as she’s always left, and she just can’t take it anymore.
Her emotions become so strong that her body collapses onto the floor, her head throbbing and throat burning from all the tears and cries. She can’t breathe, her lungs failing to take in oxygen and her chest is pounding.
It’s so bad that if Gabby doesn’t come home soon, she actually believes she’s going to die. She feels the tug on her heart and feels how hard it is for it to do its job properly—she practically feels it overworking itself.
Gabby finds her on the floor, making her immediately drop her purse and run to her collapsed body. Y/n is a withering mess underneath her, completely drenched in sweat as violent sobs erupt from her body.
She’s quick to sit her up properly onto the floor before lifting her back onto the couch, running a comforting hand down the side of her neck as she begins to shush her down to a calm state. However, her attempt falters when Y/n shakes her head to remove Gabby’s touch from her neck.
“I can’t—I can’t—“
She tries to find words to explain what’s happening to her right now. Between the pain in her body and the feeling in her head, her brain is scrambling with so many fearful thoughts that the only thing she can truly comprehend is being saved from this horrifying feeling.
Gabby is taken aback when she says it, completely astonished by just how serious this all is. She realizes this isn’t a situation that she can fix on her own, and it makes her feel like such a bad friend that she can’t give her what she needs.
Tears fall from her eyes in panic, well aware that her friend is undergoing something far worse than a mental breakdown, but also knows that the hospital won’t be able to help her.
Only Harry can.
“Let me call for help, okay?“ She asks softly. “I’m gonna send help.”
When Harry sees Gabby’s contact light up his phone, something inside of him instantly fills with worry. He knows, without a doubt, that Gabby hates him more than anybody ever since what happened. And knowing her so well, she would never reach out to him, especially when her negative feelings toward him were so strong, unless it’s serious.
“Gabby?” He gulps.
“You have to do something, Harry.” She cries through the phone, peaking over her shoulder to look over Y/n from her location in the kitchen.
She’s still a mess, holding her hand over her heart as if it were going to mend the pain. Her head is thrown over the back of the couch, her other hand running over her face continuously. Her sobs haven’t settled, only seeming to increase with panic over the unfamiliar reaction occurring over her body.
“She thinks you don’t want her and—Harry she thinks she’s dying. Her heart is so broken. She keeps saying her heart is going to fail her and I don’t—I don’t know what to do. I don’t think there’s anything I can do. She—she was trying so hard. Harry, please, you have to—you have to—“
Harry leans on his elbows over the kitchen counter, huffing out a shaky breath when he hears both Gabby and Y/n’s cries through the phone. He rubs his hand over his face, doing anything to prevent the tears nearly pooling out from his eyes.
He’d be lying if he said that guilt isn’t eating him alive in this moment. And it’s not that he hasn’t felt any remorse or any guilt since he’d broken Y/n’s heart, but he’s now fully aware that he has to look at the damage he’s done. He’ll have to witness all the pain, all the heartbreak he’s put her through, and nothing makes him feel worse.
“I’ll do anything.” He whimpers. “Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it. I promise I won’t keep doing this to her, you have to believe me. Just—“ he lets out a broken breath, reaching his hand up to rub his eyes to prevent any tears from escaping, “just tell me what to do.”
Gabby wipes the tears from her cheeks, yet again peering over to watch over Y/n on the couch. To her dismay, there is absolutely no improvement.
“Come here, pick her up, and bring her home. Just talk to her, please. Nothing makes her feel worse than believing you don’t want her anymore. Hell, even if you don’t—I don’t know with you anymore—just give her something. You’re the only one that can fix this.”
He sighs, nodding his head before making his way out of his house without much of a response to her. He’s only concerned for Y/n, and is so focused on getting to her so that he can prove to her that he’s changed—that he’s not the same Harry he was and is going to be there for her for as long as his life lasts, even if she doesn’t allow it.
But it’s upon arrival he realizes how much more serious this is than he thought. She’s completely breaking down, every inch of her shaking and fear struck on her face. She’s a complete and utter mess, a completely wrecked version of such a beautiful, unbroken woman who had so much love in her heart and surrounded by so much love in the air.
And even though Harry knows she believes she’s going to die, apart of him believes she already has. The life inside of her has burned out and is now just a product of what once was. The Y/n he has always known is long gone—so far gone he almost doesn’t believe it’s her.
He looks at her with the most distraught and sympathetic look Gabby has ever seen. She has never seen so much guilt in somebody before that—no matter how much she hates him—she can’t help but feel sorry for him, too.
“Baby, hey. Hey now, it’s alright.” He whispers, kneeling in front of Y/n’s shaking figure and tentatively reaching for her hair so that he can attempt to calm her down. “I’m here now, I’m right here.”
A pitiful sound leaves her lips when she looks up at him; something between a whine, a sob, and a groan. It’s messy from her throat being raw from all the screaming and cries, and it leaves an indescribable pain that only makes her cries stronger.
She can’t even think properly, everything in her body overworking itself. It’s something she’s never experienced before, and all the fears of it being a permanent start to rush through her veins—leaving her with an overwhelming amount of anxiety.
“She’s having a panic attack.” Harry mumbles to Gabby, making sure to rub gently over the back of Y/n’s neck. Although panic attacks weren’t common for her, whenever she was overwhelmed and stressed, this gesture always seemed calmed her down.
“I don’t know what to do. I can’t drive with her like this I—Gabby, how do I focus with her like this?” He cries, the situation in front of him making his body turn to shambles, “Especially when it’s my fault? How do I—do I keep her here until she’s calm? I don’t—I don’t know—”
Gabby shakes her head, reaching her hand over to graze his tense shoulder. She squeezes the muscle softly, almost as a sort of reassurance.
“She needs home, Harry—” she whispers, “she needs you.”
He nods, choking back sobs as he brushes the hair out of Y/n’s face. The skin of her face is red and completely soaked, but this is the first time he’s seen her since the morning in the grocery store, and she’s never looked so beautiful.
“I’m going to take you home with me, Y/n. But I need you to breathe for me, can you do that?” He asks, holding her face delicately between his hands, “Breathe with me.”
Y/n sucks in a deep breath when Harry inhales deeply, attempting to rid all the anxiety and pain settling inside of her. Her inhale is broken between hiccups and cries, but as she keeps eye contact with him as she tries to calm down, a little part of her feels revived.
“It hurts.” She whimpers between sobs, referring to the pain in her chest and the throbbing in her head that just can’t seem to heal.
She watches as Harry’s face scrunches with an agonizing cry, and she knows he’s aware of exactly what she’s talking about. She’s been brokenhearted for so long, she doesn’t even think he’s the least bit shocked when she tells him her heart is hurting.
“I know, baby. I know.” He whispers as he kisses her forehead gently. “Let’s get you home, yeah? Make you feel better?”
And as much as she wants to hate him, or yell at him for everything he’s done to her and make him understand just how much of her life he’s ruined, she genuinely feels like her body is going to collapse at any given moment. She needs him, even if it’s just for right now, she has to just focus on everything happening in the now. Harry’s come back to her and she’s about to go back home.
Because if she doesn’t think about the present moment—Harry holding her, Harry kissing her, Harry about to take the both of them back to their house—she’ll never find a way to fix herself. She’ll be stuck in this anxiety and pain for far too long—so long that it could actually kill her.
So she closes her eyes, only focusing on his touch and his breath fanning over her wet face. She forgets the t-shirt, she forgets all the times he’s ignored her after declaring them to take a break, and she forgets about Jessica. At least for right now, she can focus on all that tomorrow.
She nods, and it’s then Harry notices how much more calm she is. Although she’s still crying and still incapable of speaking much from the aching in her throat, she’s breathing properly again and her once undying sobs have turned into soft whimpers.
He leans in so that he can properly wrap his arms around her, hooking one hand on her back and the other under her knees. There’s no way in hell she’s capable of walking—not like this, and in all honesty, he would much rather hold her now than leave her side for another second.
It’s when Y/n is being held so close to him again that the aching in her chest seems to almost vanish completely. And although there is still a weight on top of her lungs, and still a slight uncomfortableness in her heart, she’s finally able to breathe again.
“I’m gonna make this all better, okay? I promise you, gonna fix this.” He mumbles with his lips against her hairline, making sure to keep rubbing the back of her neck softly.
It’s a promise he intends on keeping—a promise he never plans on breaking again. He could never live with himself if he were to keep putting her through all of this pain. She’s the most undeserving person—he knows that—and he knows she’s too pure to go through all that she’s been through the past couple of months.
The car ride is completely silent, only Y/n’s cries and small sniffles filling the empty space. Although she still isn’t completely calm, she’s improved so much since he first came to pick her up and it is able to keep his mind at ease. At least while he drives.
And he doesn’t miss her hand sneaking over the console to intertwine her fingers with his. He doesn’t expect it but he also doesn’t mind it. If anything, it makes him feel better just as much as it does her.
When they pull up to the driveway of their once shared house, every bit of composure she’s withheld in her body is breaking down by the second. Her strength is wearing thin, and knowing she’ll be reuniting in the house where Y/n and Harry once had everything makes her more afraid than ever.
Harry notices her sudden shift in mood and doesn’t hesitate to unbuckle himself from his seat and walk around the car to where her exhausted figure is sobbing, slumped against the passenger seat. He sighs meekly before unbuckling her, as well, and lifting her against him the way he had before.
“Hey there, s’alright, I’m here. We’ll work this out, but you need to sleep first, yeah? Looking very pale and I know you well enough to see you’ve been lacking sleep.”
Although they both know Y/n isn’t going to respond, she wants to continue listening to him speak. It’s something she hasn’t heard in so long, and she wouldn’t even care if he was talking about the goddamn weather, she just wants to hear him again.
He keeps talking, too, because he notices the effects of his voice on her anxiety and how the muscles in her body relax under his words. He’ll stop at nothing to make sure she’s okay again, even if it means having a one-sided conversation.
“You know how you are, too—grumpy and sensitive when you’re tired. Almost take my head off if you don’t get more than seven hours. Remember that one time at my mum’s Christmas dinner party? Barely slept the night before from wrapping so many gifts that you genuinely got upset with me for not knowing your favorite alcoholic beverage.” He chuckles softly. “Funny lil thing.“
Through the nonstop crying and the frown that hasn’t left Y/n’s lips in what feels like an eternity, the first smile stretches from her lips. It’s the smallest closed mouth smile he’s ever seen, but it’s there, and it’s the most genuine feeling of happiness she’s had in so long.
When Harry unlocks the door, he wastes no time making his way over to their couch. He knows very well that she wouldn’t want to sleep on their bed, considering she’s well aware of what he did with Jessica on that bed and he wants no reason to upset her any further.
He sets her down in front of the couch, petting the top of her head softly before gathering a blanket and a pillow for her to sleep on.
He sets it up like a bed, almost, before turning to leave so that she can have her privacy. He doesn’t think she’d want to sleep with him, so he decides to sleep in the guest bedroom since he knows she’d always pick the living room couch over that room.
But before he gets too far, Y/n weakly captures his fingers in hers, pulling him back towards her.
His head snaps down to her finger, noticing the rose ring being worn beautifully on her middle finger. He almost chokes when he sees it on her, eyes wide and lips slightly parted in half confusion and half in awe.
“Please,” she whimpers, “stay.”
He snaps out of his trance at her words, slowly nodding his head as a small “of course” falls from his lips.
He lays comfortably on the couch, looking up at her when he finds a position where she can lay beside him.
“If you want you can take the—alright” he huffs.
His eyes narrow as he watches her lay on top of him—fully on top of him; her cheek nesting right where his shoulder meets his neck as her arms slither around his sides until her hands meet under his back. Her legs tangle perfectly in between his, and in any other circumstance, this probably wouldn’t have been an ideal sleeping position for the either of them. But Y/n is exhausted, both physically and mentally, and she feels this is the only position she can sleep.
Harry doesn’t mind and easily ignores the subtle uncomfortableness in his back as he wraps his arms securely around her frame.
Although Y/n is already fast asleep on top of it, he’s unsure how he can close his eyes for longer than a blink. This could be the last chance he has to be with her in this way. He’s unsure what tomorrow holds for the both of them and their relationship—it could end entirely or create an entirely new beginning.
With the possibilities almost endless against their favor, he doesn’t want to miss a second of what could be the last of her in his life. So, he embraces the feeling of her tight hold, the little puddle of drool on the shoulder of his t-shirt, and the tickle on his chin from her loose strands of hair, because this could be the last time he feels all of that.
But he also can’t help but feel that small bit of hope still latching onto him. That somewhere—deep down—he knows they belong to each other for the rest of their lives. And that, maybe, if the universe decides that their relationship should end tomorrow, he knows destiny will find a way for the both of them again.
So, he holds her a little tighter, breathes her in a little harsher, and soaks up all the extra warmth in her body, and prays that everything will be okay.
He lays there, blanket pulled to his torso, eyes shut, he looks like the rest of them, and she feels her heart ache. She can’t help but notice how young he is, he can’t be any older than twenty-six, and here he lays with no one around him.
“Hi there,” Y/N whispers, bending down to height of his ear, “I’m your nurse Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N, and I’m here to take care of you. Make sure you stay healthy for when you wake up, make sure you don’t get any bed sores yeah? I’ll keep you company, keep you updated on what’s happening in the world, tell you some funny jokes, I’ll even let you in on the latest company gossip, but you gotta do me a favor,” she whispers, placing her hand on top of his. It’s a cold hand, rough, and she knows it’s supposed to feel that way, but it maker her heart ache even more. Y/N closes her eyes, taking in a shaky breath, “you have to pull through this and live, yeah? Because when you wake up, it’s going to be your turn to tell me all about yourself, yeah?”
She opens her eyes and sighs.“It’s late now, one a.m., but I’ll be back later to check in on you,” she gently brushes the hair out of his face and stands, “we’ve got a deal. You can’t fail me.”
Y/N is Harry’s beautiful nurse who he can’t stop thinking about, to the point that he’s willing to give up his old memories and life to make a new one with her.
whine, throwing my head against the seat as I try to kick my shoes off. Harry
wanted to visit Liam and Niall, who were enjoying their time off in some sort
of beach hours fucking miles away. Of course he decided this at six in the
evening, so we had to drive the whole night to reach our destination. I was
bored out of my mind, H not wanting to put the radio on, and he himself being
awfully quiet since we left.
babe?” I decided to kick my shoes off, my bare feet resting against the dashboard
of Harry’s car, my free hand dangling out of the window. I am bored out of my
mind and I’m ready to jump out of this riding death trap and meet Satan in
a couple more hours babe, you’ll be fine.” Harry sighs out as he gives me a
quick smile before averting his gaze back towards the road. We were the only
one out, seeing how it was like two A.M., darkness surrounding us except for
the lights of the car that illuminated our way. I started fidgeting with my
fingers, the only thing I wanted was to enjoy Harry for the few days I had him
all by myself, and now we’re leaving to spend those free alone time with the
people I actually wanted to get away from. Don’t get me wrong, I love the whole
band as if they were my brothers, but a girl has needs, you know.
the night when H came home from tour, I had bribed my roommate into leaving the
premises for the rest of the night. Harry knows exactly where to touch, with
what pressure, and don’t get me started on that tongue of his. The boy is pure
My eyes involuntarily close as I rethink the very welcome memories, the feeling
of Harry’s fingers ghosting over my wet core as I wriggle and beg for more, beg
for him to take me as he pleases. He had gotten even more fit, strong and
muscly, I couldn’t do anything but to try and touch every single square
centimeter of skin.
I opened my
eyes again to see that Harry did not pay attention to me, a song stuck in his
head which he hummed along to, his fingers tapping along the steering wheel.
I could feel my heart beating faster, my knickers wetter and my hands trembling
to touch him. But I’m fairly certain that if I tried anything right now we
would get into a fight, which isn’t something pleasant to look forward to if
you’re still stuck in the same car for the rest of the night. I guess I’ll just
have to help myself out.
fiddle with the straws of my sweatpants as I glance once more towards H, still
nothing. I let my hand glide into my sweatpants, closing my eyes as I let my
fingers toy with my slit, my mind bringing me back when Harry was banging me,
the headboard shaking against the wall as his grunts vibrated through the air.
I bite my lip, letting one of my fingers slip into my core as I lean back a
bit, opening my legs a little to give myself more access. I didn’t care about Harry
anymore, if he wasn’t going to pay attention to me, I would pay attention to
hear my breathing get heavier, that along with the gravel on the road the only
thing being heard. Harry was still tapping the steering wheel along to an
imaginary beat, and I let my imagination run freely.
What if he just pulls off the road now and shags me against his the hood of his
car? I could be moaning into thin air, begging for more and nobody would even
accidentally let a little moan slip out as I buck my hips up, my mind giving me
vivid images of what could happen. All of the sudden the beating of H’s fingers
stop and I can her him scrape his throat. “What are you doing?”
I cock one eye open, trailing it over his shocked yet amused face.
“What does it look like? You ignore me so I’ll help myself out.”
curses and I moan freely now bucking my hips up to meet my own touch as I can
hear Harry curse once more.
I am shaken from my own little world when I feel the car come to an abrupt
stop, and I open my eyes to see Harry staring at me.
“What’s wrong H? You wanted to be there by nine, so don’t you think you should
step on it?” I blatantly state, still annoyed that I couldn’t get my alone time
like I had wished for all those months.
I let my eyes fall onto his jeans, the tight clothing straining against his
growing bulge and I smirk as I raise my eyebrows before meeting his eyes again.
“You like this?” I slip my hand from my own knickers and crawl on top of Harry,
my back resting against the steering wheel as I let my fingertip trail over his
collarbone, my lips wetted by my tongue every couple of seconds as I kept his
I press my
core down onto his aching crotch, cupping his neck with my cheek. “Answer me H.”
“Ye-yeah. Fucking hell.” His hands come up to grab one of my breasts but I
quickly slap his hand away, pinning them to the side of his car seat.
want to touch me before H, so you can’t right now.” I chuckle darkly taking my
shirt of slowly, exposing my breasts to Harry since I couldn’t care less to
wear a bra if I was sitting in a car all night. His eyes almost pop out of
their sockets as he tries to touch me again but I growl and his hands fly back
down, his puppy dog eyes coming out as he pouts his lip at me. I ignore it,
pushing my sweatpants down before pulling Harry’s jeans and boxers down in one
swift motion to his knees.
fingernails scratch over his hips as I rid him of his shirt as slowly as I can,
my hips in meanwhile circling against his exposed cock, slicking him with my arousal
and his pre-cum. He was a groaning, withering mess underneath me and I had to
take all my willpower in me to not just ride him immediately. He deserved to be
lick and nibble my way up on his torso towards his jaw, licking a stripe up his
neck before I let my teeth sink into his sweet spot, Harry by now a groaning,
muttering mess underneath me. “Please, please.”
“Please what H?” I smirk, stilling the movements off my hips as my nails
continue their movement over his abs.
“Let me fuck
Instead of answering him, I let myself sink down onto his cock, a hiss drawn
from his lips as he closes his eyes and leans his head against the car seat.
“Mm H.” I moan out, riding him by circling my hips, and I grab his hands and
set them on my waist and he takes that as his cue to kick in.
second his grip tightens, enough to bruise, and his hips start to meet mine in
short, quick thrusts. Both of us are panting and moaning profanities, and this
is what I’ve wanted, some alone time for us to connect, not the sweet and
innocent giggly H but the one that’s passionate and rough with me.
His hands grab my breasts and by now I’m bouncing on his lap by just the motion
of his hips, I’m a mess, moaning his name over and over again as I reach my
take long for Harry to finish as well, his arms immediately snaking around my
waist as he hauls me into his chest, his ragged breathing warming my neck as he
tries to regain his breath.
you.” Harry breathes out in pure bliss, my own lips leaving tiny kisses near
the nape of his hairline, my eyes closing at the smell of vanilla and sex. My
favorite scent on H.
“I did too H. Really.” My nails scrape his neck, up to his hair to pull there
lightly as he lets out a breath he had been holding in.
“I’m sorry I’m dragging you across the country, Niall and Liam just really like
you and were complaining they want to spend some time with their best mate.” My
heart flutters at the realization that his best friends, band mates and practically
his whole life actually enjoys my company and wants me around.
“I don’t mind babe, as long as I’m with you.” I wink and let my lips catch his.