1d joke

ok um im so sorry like NOAH FENCE but……….  

niall: ey mate, proud of you

harry: why’s that exactly, niall?

niall: last two in the band to not have gotten a girl pregnant!

harry:

niall:

harry: true!

*nods and highfives*

1D Hiatus: Day 493

* Pictures of Liam out in LA last night are released

* Harry’s childhood friend Alice posts an old picture of him on Twitter

* Liam posts a picture on Instagram

* Harry’s interview with The Rolling Stone magazine is talked about during the BBC Radio 1 Breakfast Show

* A picture of Harry performing on SNL is posted on Gucci’s Instagram account

It’s Apr 19th, 2017.


On this day a year ago: #128

You know what, @bigbrotherlouis? He finds it in a fic when he’s three glasses into the bottle of wine and Aimee’s on her way over and he’s going to have to come clean to her about how he might be a bit in love with Harry.

He’d wanted to be the one person immune to Harry, and so he’d willed it to be true. Even once he realized that he wanted it to be true because his immunity was part of his allure. The fallacy that Nick wasn’t going to fall in love with Harry was what let Harry get close to him in the first place, let him tuck his bony feet up on Nick’s couch and sleep on the other half of his bed and kiss him sleepily and meaninglessly when Nick left for the studio before dawn.

For just once in his life, Harry wanted a best friend who wouldn’t fall in love with him. And Nick hates that he couldn’t give that to Harry. He’s let Harry down, unforgivably.

He doesn’t deserve Aimee’s pity. So he’s preparing to make the whole thing into a comedic tale of cosmic injustice, starring Harry as the equivalent of the cat that made Nick tip over his car. “Rock-hard abs and eyes you could drown in” sounds just right, just a little bit over the top.

He plots out the monologue in his head. “It was inevitable, I suppose,” he’ll say, with a self-deprecating eye roll. “Rock-hard abs and eyes you could drown in.”

It’s a bit of a lie, anyway. Not that Harry’s abs aren’t a wonder, they are. But it’s the softer bits around his hips that Nick can’t forget touching.

“KNOCK KNOCK” PART II

Harry: Hey, Lou. Lou. LOU. LOUIS. LOUIS. LEWIS. LEWIS. LEWIS TOMLINSON. LOU.ISS. WILLIAM. TOMLIN-

Louis: For fuck’s sake! WHAT?

Harry: …Heard any good jokes lately?

Louis: Haz, I-

Harry: Cuz…

Louis:The Lord is testing me.

Harry:

Louis: He’s just gonna keep bugging me. And bugging me.

Harry: Pleeeeaaaase!

Louis: Fine.

Louis: Just NO MORE KNOC-

Harry: YAYYYY!

Harry: Knock Knock…

Louis: You’ve got to be kidding me.

Harry: Nooo…Louuuu…You’re suppose to say ‘whoooo’s there?’…

Louis: Fine.

Louis: ‘Who’s there?’

Harry: Let me kiss.

Louis: You’re already laughing at the joke and you’re not even done telling it! 

Harry: Louuuuuu!

Louis: Okay, okay…Let me kiss who?

Harry: Let me kiss YOU!

Louis:

Harry:

Louis:

“Knock Knock”: Part I

Fave thing on the internet

“KNOCK KNOCK” PART I

Louis: I haven’t heard any good jokes lat-

Liam: NO! Louis DON-

Harry:

Louis: NO. No, Haz.

Harry:

Louis: Ughhh.

Louis: Fine. As long as it isn’t a knoc-

Harry: Knock Knock…

Louis: Hoe don’t do it.

Harry: Nooo…Louuuu…You’re suppose to say ‘whoooo’s there?’…

Louis: Oh my God.

Harry: And then I’d say, ‘Kiss.’

Louis: …Kiss who?

Harry: KISS ME YOU FOOL! 

Louis:

Harry:

Louis:

“Knock Knock: Part II”

i would totally agree with “money doesn’t buy happiness” if concerts didn’t exist