“We’re werewolves, not swearwolves,” Not anything to do with drinking, but it just might be one of the best sentences anyone’s ever uttered.
This week, I went to a screening of a Hong Kong horror comedy called Vampire Cleanup Departmentat my local film festival. It’s just as campy, fun, and off its rocker as you could hope for an homage to 1980s Hong Kong action flicks. It also reminded me in a way of one of my favorite horror comedies of all time, this goddamn masterpiece from New Zealand. It’s This is Spinal Tap meets Twilight, if the latter were any good and not a creepy, slow-paced ode to abstinence or whatever.
Select one vampire trope and sip whenever it is mentioned or portrayed onscreen:
Stakes/silver (isn’t that a swearwolf thing?)
Historical lithographs and the like.
Stu’s red cheeks.
Everyone loves Stu.
Someone says THE BEAST.
Deacon says ‘pasketti’.
SHAME SHAME SHAME *dingdingding*
Petyr is fucking terrifying.
Awkward flatmate stuff.
Through the entire ceiling battle. Puts Inception to shame, if I’m honest.
LIVER TRANSPLANT WAITLIST MODE *Only for those looking to become the living dead*
Drink every time Vlad does something with his eyebrows.
A masterpiece. I highly recommend this classic Hong Kong crime film. The cinematographer, Andrew Lau, would later be Wong Kar-wai’s cinematographer for Chunking Express. Lau also directed Infernal Affairs, remade in the US as The Departed by Martin Scoresse.