1974 eurovision

ABBA – Waterloo

MY MY! (DOO DOO) AT WATERLOO, MAPOLEOM DID surrender. WHOA YEAH (DOO DOO) AND I HAVE MET MY DISTANT NEON quite a similar way. the history book on the shelf, is akways repearin titSELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLF WATERLOO! I WAS DEFEATED, YOU WON THE WAR. WATERLOO! PROMISE TO LOVE YOU FOREVERMORE. WATERLOO! COULDN’T ESCAOE IF I WANTED TO. WATERLOO! NKNOWING MY FAITH IS TO be with you. WHOAOHHA OWHOAHA OHAOH WATERLOO! FINALLY FACING MY WAterloo. (ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh) MY MY! (DOO DOO) I ’VE TRIED TO HOLD YOU BACK BUT YOU WERE stronger, OH YEAH *(DOO DOO) AND NOW IT SEEMS MY ONLY CHANCE IS ESCAPGIN ANENOGUH TO fight, and how caould i ever refuse? i feel like i win when i LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE WATERLOO! I WAS DEFEASTED, YOU WON THE WAR. WATERLOO! PROMISE TO LOVE YOU FOREVERMORE. WATERLOO! COULDN’T ESCAPE IF I WANTED TO. WATELOO! KNOWING MY FATE IS TO be wit hyou. WHOAH OWH AOH OAHHOWHA, WATERLOO! FINALLY FACING MY waterloo. so how could i ever refuse? i feel like i win when i LOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE, WATERLOOP! COULDN’#T ESCAPE IF I WANTED OT. WATERLOO! KKNOWING MY FATE IS TO be with you. WHOA HWOAH OWHOA HWOA WATERLOO! FINALLY FACING MY waterloo. whaohwoooooohooo WATERLOO! KNOWING MY FATE IS TO be with you. WHOSAH OWHA OWHAH OWHOAH OWATERLOO! FINALLY FACING MY wagterloo. whwowooooooooo, WATERLOO! KNOWINF MY FATE IS WTO be with you. WHOA AHOWAHO WHOA WH

Jeremy Corbyn now abandoned by everyone apart from ‘voters’

Down to his last 20 million supporters…

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn is now so isolated politically that he can only call upon the support of a shadowy group of people known in the UK as “voters”, it emerged today.

Facing certain defeat in the Oldham by-election, Corbyn played a typically dastardly trick in persuading normal English people to come out of their homes in droves to vote for the Labour candidate.

The result, in which Labour scored a huge popular majority with an increased share of the vote, was condemned by commentators as “treason” and “Labour sympathising”.

Sun columnist Ron Liddle explained that Labour hadn’t really won at all, as getting the most votes in a democratic election was no guarantee of fairness, and proved his point with examples from history including Hitler, Stalin, and, confusingly, ABBA’s 1974 Eurovision Song Contest hit “Waterloo”.

It is unclear where Corbyn can go after this disastrously huge victory. If this performance could be reproduced in the next General Election, Labour would be in line for a stunning victory, but this would be unlikely to save a man who is frankly not allowed to win.

“Corbyn will be feeling pretty ashamed this morning,” insisted Prime Minister David Cameron. “Making it clear to the voters that you don’t support indiscriminate bombing, and then expecting them to vote for you – well, it’s a pretty low trick. Certainly something I’d never do.”

Meanwhile, Nigel ‘Man that time forgot’ Farage was making a convincing case why the Oldham election was unfair to his voters. Apparently, the local preference for postal voting discriminated against UKIP supporters, because they “can’t work out how to use stamps.”