“ Actually, Clark, you egotistical alien jackass, what I meant is that costume is just plain AWFUL. First rule of non-powered crimefighting: you have to have a solid aesthetic to make up for the fact that you can’t punch villains through skyscrapers. Bats creep people out, and Ollie’s got the whole Robin Hood thing.”
“ Yeah, Clark, Bruce is right. What the hell is that eyesore supposed to mean? Do you shoot high velocity golden Ping-Pong balls out of your crotch? I haven’t seen anything that lame since the original Green Lantern’s duds, and you know how that worked out. ”
“It’s about marketing, man. You can’t squeeze coal into diamonds anymore, so you’re going to need that merch money. ”
“ How are you gonna get around town now that you can’t leap tall buildings in a single bound? You’re at least gonna need a car, and let me tell you, Bat and Arrowmobiles don’t come cheap. You won’t even be able to pay for a set of self-sealing, puncture-proof tires on a reporter’s salary, and keeping it topped off with high-performance racing-quality fuel? Forget it. ”
“ You think Alfred, my ‘faithful’ butler, hauls himself out of bed at 3 AM at his age to suture me up and make me a sandwich after Killer Croc used me as a chew toy for FREE? He’s got a better benefits package than most CEOs. The Wayne Foundation doesn’t pay for Batman: t-shirts and action figures do. Otherwise I’d be flat broke and racing to the scene of a crime on a Bat-Bicycle.”
“ Yeah, Clark, why do you think only rich dudes get to be the only superheroes without powers? Skill and determination, my ass. Better get out your checkbook, Golden Ball."