180 flip

things that kill me

Bakugou’s face going from this:

to this:

in a span of a single panel of Uraraka collapsing

like holy shit that’s a complete 180 degree flip of emotions. he goes from giving this SUPER EXCITED AND SLIGHTLY MURDEROUS GRIN to looking quietly shocked. surprised. like he never expected this to ever happen.

hell, he looks slightly distressed from seeing her fall

he goes from excited to distressed and god i love that scene so much, it’s so interesting to see Bakugou’s reactions to Uraraka and seeing the full range of emotions he shows during and after their fight

Fandom vs Canon (Diabolik Lovers)

Fandom Shu: Lazy closet pervert who loves music and his s/o, likes bathing with his clothes on

Canon Shu: Lazy open pervert with PTSD who wrestled a fucking polar bear and can probably kill everyone in the room if he wanted to. Scared to death of loss. Extreme sadist, cuts you with a knife because your blood tastes better when you’re scared.

Fandom Reiji: BDSM mom friend, likes collecting plates

Canon Reiji: Pessimistic sadist with a sibling oriented inferiority complex. Had no problem murdering his own mother and even wanted to resurrect her so he could kill her in a more painful way each time. Burned down a village to kill his brother’s best friend. Could kill you in your sleep and wouldn’t blink twice.

Fandom Ayato: Lovable and confident dork who likes memes, boobs and takoyaki.

Canon Ayato: Do-S with an extreme superiority and inferiority complex. Abused and pressured to beat Shu as the heir to the vampire throne. Thrown into a lake to drown by his mother, ended up murdering her out of hatred and smiled the entire time. Sleeps in a fucking iron maiden. Will probably snap your neck if you don’t call him Ore-sama.

Fandom Kanato: Smol screaming child, bipolar, will like you if you make him deserts

Canon Kanato: Neglected sadist, quite possibly with Aspergers, with severe distrust towards other people, bordering on paranoia. Has sex with you more than any guy in the game, eats the ashes of his dead mother when he gets panic attacks. Might stab you in the throat with a fork if he doesn’t like your desert.

Fandom Laito: Macaroon fedora pervert, constant boner, “Bitch-chan~”

Canon Laito: Confuses love with lust due to being sexually abused by his own mother, was thrown in a dungeon by his father when he found out. He killed her so she could “be with him in eternity.” Manipulative and incredibly clever, voyeuristic with a degrading kink. His personality can turn dark in less than a second. Will use your fears to break you.

Fandom Subaru: Angry emo trash but is actually a cinnamon roll. Likes Blink 182, MCR, and punching wall-chan

Canon Subaru: Extreme sadist who ended up being an incest child because his dad used him as his mom as an experiment. Was called a filthy abomination by his mother who he loved more than anyone, now has a distrust towards women and constant suicidal thoughts.

Fandom Ruki: Hot mysterious book worm who’s into BDSM. Secretly cares about you and loves you.

Canon Ruki: Hot mysterious book worm who has been abusing people since he was seven years old. Was abandoned by his mother and his father killed himself, forcing him to live in the street. Warped perception of companionship, fear of abandonment, treats you like livestock because he was branded like cattle.

Fandom Kou: Prancy dancy idol-chan, sweet but manipulative, listens to BTS

Canon Kou: Abandoned at birth, turned into a sadist due to the amount of abuse he endured as a child. Ripped out his own eye to escape border line slavery and tried to commit suicide multiple times. Manipulative, will always expect something in exchange from you, capable of a 180 personality flip and won’t hesitate to kill when he’s angry.

Fandom Yuma: Giant gardening teddy bear, sugar-chan~ rebellious in a hot way

Canon Yuma: Can and will snap you in half. Beaten by his parents for not praying to God. Watched his parents burn alive and joined a gang, living on the streets. Sold himself as a slave to just to make enough money to survive. Sadistic, perverted, hot headed and can go on a total rampage. Kills you or someone else in almost all of his dark ends.

Fandom Azusa: Sweet masochist cinnamon bun who collects knives, doesn’t say much

Canon Azusa: Extreme masochist and sadist who enjoys self harm and harming others. Cuts you because he “wants you to feel good.” Enjoyed getting beaten as a child. Pain keeps him alive and gives him purpose, borderline suicidal.

(I might do more of these for other fandoms as well~)

How to Successfully Adopt a Lifestyle Change

Not a diet. Diet implies temporary, and what we need to do is form a set of new, sustainable habits for the rest of our life.

A lot of you probably have a daydream of taking a black, billowy trash bag and planning a SWAT-style assault on your fridge and cupboards and then setting fire to the dumpster you hurl it into. Naturally, you’ll dash over to the grocery store and purchase a ton of strange-looking foods you don’t regularly eat, or never eat! Then you’ll slap on a pair of shiny new shoes and go run a 5K. This works for–some people. Honestly, few people.

The reality for many people; however, is they get off their foray after a few weeks. Why is that?

Think about it. How long did it take you to really get into the groove of your current habits? Months? Years? If you’re trying to simultaneously kiss soda and chip’s ass good-bye, change every bite of food you eat, and start a fitness routine. Guess what? Stress, stress, stress! Your stomach was used to those portion sizes (whether too large or too small) and some of your favorite snacks, your brain is literally addicted to it. A lot of people will reach nuclear meltdown levels trying to transition to a healthy lifestyle this way.

Just like it took you time to form your current habits, it’s going to take some time to form your new habits. I truly do empathize with the feelings of wanting everything to be different right now, but realistically we can only handle a certain amount of stressors and change at one time.

Start With Nutrition Habits: While I really would recommend finding a few cheeky ways to get more active, you’ve probably heard some variant of “can’t outrun your fork,” or “it’s 80% nutrition.” Well, it really is true. Being more active is absolutely crucial to improving overall health in the “endgame,”  but we’re still playing the “tutorial” and the dietary aspects of our lifestyle change are the bulk of the impact. It goes beyond that, though. I’ve written more about it here, but being a beginner can be genuinely hard at times!  It takes a lot of time and effort to get oneself to a point where they can physically and mentally handle what entails “regular, moderate exercise.” One part of making that transition easier will be better nutrition and hydration.

Start With an Easy Target: I always tell people if they drink a lot of soda, juice, or sweetened tea/coffee to start here. Sugar provides us pretty much no nutrition and removing the pulp from fruit makes juice not that great for us, either. Drinking more water is not negotiable and replacing these beverages with water will do a surprising amount of good for how you feel–all by itself. I recognize how hard this one can be to kick, but sweetened beverages really do load many people’s lifestyles with a lot of bad juju.

If you don’t have a beverage problem, maybe you do have a condiment/dressing problem and can reduce the quantities and find alternatives. Maybe you party-hardy a little too much and need to cut down on alcohol. While I said “easy target,” no one said it would be that easy, but you probably have an idea where most of these so called “empty” nutrients are coming from.

Transition Bad Habits a Few at a Time: The opening of this probably already made it clear, but Rome wasn’t built in a day. You probably have an idea of what some of your most problematic habits are, so choose one; maybe two, and see how you adjust over a week or two before considering the next step.

Small Swaps: Start switching out various items in your pantries, fridges, and lunchboxes with simple alternatives. Change white breads, rices, and pastas to brown. Take the bag of chips from your lunch and turn it into a few servings of seasonal fruit and vegetables. Pick out a leaner cut of meat and use a little less dairy, if you eat them. Little changes can have massive results.

Learn Moderation: Remember that whole sustainable part at the very beginning? Our lifestyles do need to reflect our real lives. Well, my real life has a love of chocolates, pastries, and candies. So, it’s not realistic for me to say “no chocolate, pastries, or candies.” Food molarity can be a pretty toxic outlook on eating and life in general. Instead of labeling foods as “bad,” just learn and respect the limits. There are times where you have to say, “enough, is enough,” but living in a constant state of “no” is not realistic or mentally healthy for most people. It’s OK to love indulgent food. Think about how long your life is going to be. So, now think about how dinky an occasional treat will be in retrospect.

Depending on Your Struggles, Consider Therapy: As we know, many aspects of unhealthy eating habits are actually unhealthy mental habits. Depending on the severity and exact nature of those problems, never be embarrassed to seek professional help. I struggled with stress eating and even binge eating for most of my adolescence, and finally getting help for my anxiety disorder played a pretty crucial role in improving both my physical and mental health. If it’s not a possibility at this time, consider journaling.

Walk Before Your Run: Literally and figuratively. I’m going to recommend this previous post I recently wrote again, but when you’ve gotten a few habits cracked and feel like you’re ready to start amping up your activity, start with low impact and low equipment exercises. If it has been years, or if you’ve never exercised, it takes some easing into it. I recommend walking to all beginners because we already know how to do it, have what we need to do it, and probably won’t hurt ourselves.

So, there you have it. Tackle small challenges and get your body acclimated to them before you consider some of the overarching and holistic goals you have for your lifestyle. That said, we’re all different. If you still want to try and do that 180-flip, I can’t stop you and some people are successful that way. No two people or personality types have the exact same problems or strategy for overcoming them. However, if you’ve gotten frustrated and thrown in the towel a time or two, consider the scope of change and how to realistically implement it over a period of time.  We didn’t form our old habits overnight.

Leave This Town Pt 8 (Mechanic!Bucky AU)

Characters: reader, Bucky, Wanda and Pietro (mentioned)

Summary: After leaving the small town life behind, you’ve worked hard to make your dreams come true. When something unexpected brings you home, you’re brought back to the place where everything changed. Timing is everything and now there just might be a second chance with the man you left behind.

Song Inspiration: Angela by The Lumineers

Warnings: Fluff!!!! 

Word Count: 3.4k

Tags are at bottom (TAG LIST IS CLOSED I’M SORRY)

**This fic is for @bionic-buckyb ‘s 5K AU Writing Challenge**

Y/N: Oof. 

<<<Part 7   Part 8   Part 9>>> 

Leave This Town Masterlist

Full Masterlist


Originally posted by science


You waited a few minutes until the driver’s side door opened with a squeak and Bucky slid inside. Shaking his head, water droplets sprayed in your direction making you squeal in laughter while shielding your already damp self.

Bucky threw you a wide grin, feeling a familiar warmth inside you grow despite the chill seeping in from your wet clothes. He held out a hand and you gave him the keys with the engine roaring to life seconds later.


“Ready,” you replied, wondering what this unexpected night would bring.


Conversation was impossible on the ten minute drive to Bucky’s place. The loud thundering of rain pelting the truck’s roof along with Bucky’s need to concentrate on the road with very little visibility, you resigned yourself to silence. You didn’t mind though. It gave you a chance to unabashedly stare at the man you hadn’t seen in two years, and yet you instantly still felt that comfort and ease in his presence.

Bucky was right, he hadn’t changed much. His hair was a bit longer with a few more laugh lines around his eyes, but you found that they made him even more attractive. One of your first observations, though, was the lack of a ring on his finger. That still wasn’t a definitive answer to a question you had yet to voice, though.

Keep reading

So I recently marathoned Camp Camp [SPOILERS]

And of course, just like everyone else, the season 2 finale had me in tears, but I actually wanna talk, or rather ramble, about something else

The season 1 finale

I watched all of Camp Camp in one night not all too long ago, and since then I keep going back and watching one particular scene of that episode: the scene where David finally admits that Max is right and that times have changed

Now, it was super interesting to see our beloved David for once not being so happy-go-lucky, but the specific moment I keep going back to is actually right after that

Max’s reaction

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I had an exam today so I missed most of the panel but the vld tag is blowing up with "lance is Keith's stability" and how shiro is pretty harsh with keith and WHAT ON EARTH???? WHAT SORT OF 180° FLIP HAPPENED BETWEEN THE TWO RELATIONSHIPS? are people exaggerating or like is it real????

vld panel: lauren montgomery says off hand that lance’s relationship with keith has fully evolved; he’s now keith’s stability on the team. discusses what kind of a girl lance might eventually end up with.

y’all: K L A N C E

vld panel: shows an extended clip of shiro trying to convince keith to stay on the team. shiro smiles softly, tells him he’s a good leader and the black lion chose him. keith in return insists that shiro is the true pilot of the black lion. the scene is intimately back lit by the sky at sunset. josh keaton discusses how important keith is to shiro and how much shiro wants to support him.


The Endgame Puzzle - What Can You See?

Everybody has said that the puzzle pieces look like Bethany Young’s drawings and I definitely agree so I edited a screenshot from the promo for the next episode and once I saw a certain picture in my head of what it could be, I can’t unsee it - it’s pretty hard to explain so bare with me here. This is it flipped 180, so the opposite way that anyone would see it looking down at the board the right way, obviously. 

Point A - looks like a head/face looking upwards and their hair falling back behind them. As though they’re standing looking up at someone above them.

It seems as though the the person who drew the photo was looking down to this person, like this…

Point B - These lines reminded me of an octagon we’ve seen before around someone…

I know Bethany was buried lying down and the hole wasn’t deep enough for her to be standing up BUT the drawing looks so similar to ones in Bethany’s book…

I always thought the drawings in Bethany’s book were drawn by another person, since it seems, she is in most of them from another’s POV. She could of asked someone to draw for her? Eddie Lamb, Wren, Charlotte, a friend who is yet to be revealed (Lucas or Jenna)…  and so the drawing is theirs of what they imagined Bethany went through when she was buried alive. They might want the girls to suffer for it - did they even figure out what actually happened to her? 

It could also be to represent Mona and what she went through in the dollhouse. She had been in there alone a lot longer than the girls and still through everything she does, she’s yet to be seen as ‘one of them.’ Plus, Mona did hit Bethany so this could be her way of making up for that. You made me hurt her when it should of been one of you…

And lastly, it could be a hint towards Melissa since she buried Bethany.

What do you guys see? I think I’ve genuinely gone mad staring at it for too long…

Christian Yu x Reader: Let Me Explain - Chapter 5

Chapter 1: These Seoul Streets. | Chapter 2: Uninvited Guests | Chapter 3: Confrontation | Chapter 4: Who Wouldv’e Thought? 

Chapter 5: Red Roses

Word count: 4007

Series type: Angst, Smut & Fluff.

Warnings: Bad language. mentions of sex and mature content.

Additional Characters: DPR LIVE (Dabin) and mentions of other artists/fictional characters.

A/N: Please keep in mind English is not my first language therefore there might me some spelling/grammar mistakes

“You will?” both Yura and Dabin asked shocked.

“Well yeah, but only if that’s okay with y/n” he says shrugging.

“Look, I get that there’s a lot at stake for you here but if y/n doesn’t agree then you’re going to have to find another way to deal with this mess.” Christian says walking towards you and protectively putting his arm around your waist.

You were surprised he actually considered your feelings for once. But now 3 pairs of eyes were staring at you. 1 relieved pair, Dabin. 1 desperate pair, Yura. and 1 angry pair, Hyung Suk.

“What a coincidence that y/n-sshi is your actual girlfriend” Hyung suk said through his teeth. He didn’t seem happy about that reveal at all. His eyebrows were furrowed, looking you up and down.

You felt uncomfortable. Not only because of the way Hyung Suk looked at you, but also because Christian wasn’t even your boyfriend. At least not yet.

Christian scoffed at Hyung Suk’s tone. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.” He says tightening the hold on your waist.

“Well, it is if you’re going to do this.” Hyung Suk says sniffing, crossing his arms while giving you an impatient look.

Dabin looked at you, telling you with his eyes that it’s okay if you didn’t want Christian to do it. Of course you didn’t want Christian to do it. But there is a lot more going on here than your selfishness can take into consideration right now.

Yura took your hand, looking straight into your eyes. “Eonni, remember how I told you I was sorry earlier? I still am. Even more so now. I understand how difficult this all must be for you given everything that already happened but I’m begging you. This is all I have riding for me right now. I also understand if you don’t want him to do it, but I just want you to know that you can trust me.” She says.

You look at her a little startled. Can you trust her? Is that what it’s all about? Trust?

You bite your lip, knowing that this would be the ultimate test for Christian to prove his loyalty to you. It’s only a fake relationship right? So if he slips up, at least then you’ll know for sure to run from him. As far away as possible.

“Okay” you say. “Fine” you take Christian’s hand from your waist and take a step back.

Yura’s eyes lit up as she throws herself at you, hugging you as a thank you. You awkwardly pat her back, making eye contact with Hyung Suk who still looked at you like you were an unfitting piece to his puzzle.

You really don’t know why you said yes, and by the look of Christians facial expression, neither did he.

“Oh my god eonni thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she says letting go of you.

Christians eyes find yours, he kind of smiled at you. It was an indifferent smile. He didn’t feel a special way about the situation, but he was also relieved to know that you trusted him enough to let him help Yura.

“Well. Mr Yu. If you could just come by tomorrow, we’ll map out our strategy with the marketing team.” Hyung Suk says.

Yura smiled at Christian, but he avoided her gaze only looking at Hyung Suk.

“Marketing team?” Christian asked confused.

“Yes. Mr Yu, the marketing team will come up with strategies to shed a light on the situation to try and make the public sympathize with your relationship rather than loathing it.” Hyung Suk answers in a very professional tone.

“Keep in mind there will be a few public appearances as a couple and fake dispatch photo’s before we announce the break up.”

Dabin sighed getting up. “Bro I hope you understand what you just agreed to. You too y/n.”

You just nod, lost in thought. This was going to be so much more work than you thought it would be. Deep down you knew you’d regret this decision, but it’s the only way to put Christian’s loyalty to you to the test, even if that meant getting hurt. Again.

“What about dance classes…and her mv?” you ask trying to look Hyung Suk in the eye again.

“Everything will go on as planned. It would be odd if you suddenly resigned. Wouldn’t it?” he says almost mocking you.

His tone annoyed you. He talked to you like you were an outsider to this entire situation when in fact, you were right in the middle of it.

Dabin noticed your annoyance and decided to blend himself into the conversation. “So everything will basically be the same, apart from the fake news and photo’s. It’s not like Christian needs to be with Yura all the time, right?”

You internally thank god for Dabin’s existence. He asked the questions you couldn’t think of right now, but would think of when you’d be alone in bed with plenty of time to overthink.

“Correct. Just try not to hold hands in public y/n-sshi, in fact. Try not to be alone together in public for the mean time.” Hyung Suk sarcastically smiles at you. “Oh and take the back entrance to each others apartments.”

Christian sighs. “We’ll be careful.”

You run your fingers through your hair and nod, looking to the floor.

This was such a 180-degree flip to Hyung Suk’s personality. He seemed so nice and professional when you first met, but now it seems like that person never existed in the first place.

You decide to lighten the mood as you see how tense Yura was standing next to Hyung Suk, scared you’ll suddenly decline with all of these new terms and revelations being added to the mix.

You bite your lip before speaking. “I expect at least one box of triple chocolate chip cookies at the next practice” you tell Yura in a serious tone.

Dabin was amazed at how well you were handling the situation. It was so unlike you to ignore such a bullshit attitude Yura’s manager was giving you, just to make her feel better.

Christian chuckled. “Make it two” he says putting his hand on your shoulder.

Dabin looked at Christian’s body language. He noticed how Christian kept touching you, only standing closer to you so people would see you as the pair. Making him impressed with Christian as well. Well shit this might work out, he thought to himself.

“Yes! Of course!” Yura smiled, and so did Hyun Suk. But his smile wasn’t sincere. You could just see it, not necessarily through his facial expression but through everything he emitted.

His presence made you uncomfortable.

“Well then Yura, let’s go. I’ll take you to your sister’s house.” Hyung Suk says placing his hand on Yura’s back while giving you one last look before he turned to Christian.

“So, I’ll expect you at the YG building at 2 PM tomorrow.” He says putting out his hand for Christian to shake.

Christian shook his hand and nodded. “Sure.”

Hyung Suk nodded to Dabin as a goodbye and walked out, followed by Yura who politely bowed to the three of you and quickly hopped after him leaving you alone with Dabin and Christian in the dance studio.

“Okay, well. Let’s get food. I’m starving” Christian says taking your jacket off the floor and handing it to you.

You look at him a little funny. Not saying anything.

“What…” Christian cautiously asked, still standing there with your jacket in his hands.

Dabin looked to the floor. Unable to handle the awkwardness.

“Food?” you just say.

“You’re telling me you’re not hungry.” He asks sincerely confused.

You turn to Dabin crossing your arms. “Why is he acting like nothing happened?” you ask acting as if Christian wasn’t standing right in front of you.

“Shit y/n, I don’t know. Why don’t you ask him yourself?” Dabin says walking to the door.

Christian rolled his eyes at the both of you, taking your hand. “Let’s not make it a big deal okay?” he says looking at you. “The more we talk about it or think of it, the more it’ll consume us. Let’s just focus on us. The way we have been for the past week.”

Dabin walked out. “I’m in the car” he yells from the hallway clearly avoiding the situation.

You sigh staring at the ceiling.

“It’s not too late to say no…” he says wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you close to his chest.

You hug him back, burying your face in the crook of his neck. “I’m scared of what this’ll do to us” you confess closing your eyes inhaling the scent of his cologne.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of” he says softly.

His arms let go of your waist to grab the sides of your face. He looks into your eyes and stares into them for a while when suddenly he presses his lips to yours. Never in your life did you expect him to do that. Even after everything you’ve been through and all of the emotional attachment, unspoken feelings and sexual tension he has never once kissed you.

At first your body froze, your heart was now beating like crazy as Christian led the kiss, massaging his lips against yours. You slowly relaxed, leaning into him and letting him do as he pleased, wrapping your arms around his neck. His hands went down your body, taking a hold of your waist, steadily lifting you up on one of the higher stools behind you. You wrapped your legs around Christian’s waist while you passionately kissed him back, pushing his torso closer to yours with your legs, grabbing on to his messy hair.

Out of breath he pulled away before things got too heated. You both panted while hungrily staring into each others eyes. He rested his forehead onto yours, breathing heavily. “Fuck” he says closing his eyes.

You lean back as he stands up straight, you both longed for more, that wasn’t a secret, but not like this, and definitely not here.

As the both of your breathing calmed down a bit, he took your hand helping you off the stool. “You know. I’ve wanted to do that since the day you walked into that dance studio in your white booty shorts the first time I met you.” He says taking both of your hands, smiling while you intertwined fingers. You shyly try to cover your face with your hands which were still holding onto his, but you failed; making him chuckle at your cuteness.

“Y/n, I’m yours.” He says biting his lower lip, cocking his head sideways to admire your swollen lips a little.

“I don’t want you to forget that when all of this goes down.” He says stealing a quick peck. “I’ll keep doing things like this to remind you of that, okay?”

you shyly nod looking to the floor.

He let go of your hands, laughing a little. “Since when are you so shy around me?” he asks teasing you, poking your sides.

“Stoppp” you playfully demand, taking his hands into yours again so he’d stop teasing you.

He chuckled, pecking your lips once more, a little longer this time. “Don’t forget that you’re mine too now” he says putting a lost strand of hair behind your ear.

                                                 - time jump –

Christian was lying down on your couch, scrolling through some articles related to Yura and him while you cleaned your kitchen after the three of you had eaten. Dabin had already left, saying he had to meet up with someone.

“These comments are crazy” Christian says out loud.

“What comments?” you ask finishing up, leaning over the kitchen counter while looking at him.

“People are telling her to die and stuff it’s just crazy” he says lost in thought.

You sigh, it obviously bothered him more than you’d expected. If anything; reading those comments made him want to help Yura even more.

“Is there anything about you on there?” you ask walking towards the couch, sitting in between his legs while facing him.

“No…nothing really” he says in a little higher pitched tone than he usually talks in.

You squint your eyes at him. Liar.

“Give me that” you say leaning forward, almost falling on top of him when you finally get a hold of his phone.

Your eyes scan through the comments.

Wahh, daebak. Where did she find him?” You read out loud.

You can say what you want about her, but they look good together” you continue reading.

I don’t know him, but now I want to know him, maybe have some ramyeon at his place ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ”

you read raising your eyebrows. (sidenote: having ramen with someone at someone’s house is the Korean equivalent to Netflix and chill)

Christian leans forward taking his phone from you. “Stop torturing yourself, netizens are crazy you know that.” he says sitting up, removing a fallen eyelash from your cheek with his thumb.

You blankly look at him. “I don’t know Ian, they think you look good together.”

Christian cocks his head to the side looking at you with a tired expression on his face. “Babe, don’t be like this. Besides those are like the only descent comments under that article.”

You sigh crossing your arms. “You know I can’t help but feel jealous” you say avoiding eye contact.

Christian chuckled putting his phone on the coffee table, unexpectedly pulling you towards him so you’d be laying on top of him. “Why be jealous when you’re the only one I see” he says brushing your hair behind your ear. You look at him with anticipation. Hoping he’d kiss you again but he just looked at you, caressing your face from your temple to your cheek, placing a kiss in between your brows.

You decide to steal a quick kiss from him, quickly hiding your face in his neck afterwards.  You felt giddy. Like a 15-year-old who just kissed her crush on her own for the first time. You traced your finger over his inner shoulder tattoo under the strap of his black tank top, when suddenly he flipped you over so you’d be under him.

He supported his own weight, placing his elbow beside you as his other hand grabbed the side of your face while pressing his lips onto yours. His sudden sexiness made you moan into his mouth, turning him on even more as he always wished to hear you moan under him.

You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer as his hands disappeared under your shirt, lightly stroking your sides with his fingernails, unleashing a tickling and sensual sensation in your lower abdomen. You let out a slight moan again, enjoying the physical contact.

He broke the kiss, putting his hand on the side of your face again while his other hand was on your waist as he sloppily kissed and sucked on your neck. You threw you head back so he had more access to your skin, arching your back a little when his hands pushed your shirt up just above your bra.

He slid down lower, taking a firm hold of your waist with both hands as he left wet kisses from your belly button to your neck again. He came back up to kiss your lips, fondling your still covered breast while grinding on your clothed heat. You nearly lost it, ready to rip his shirt off of him when suddenly your doorbell rang.  The sound scared the both of you as adrenaline still rushed through your veins. You both sit up in a fraction of time a little out of breath when you give Christian a quick look pulling your shirt down while Christian runs his hand through his hair, showing his frustration.

“Who the fuck could that be at this hour” he says annoyed.

You sigh getting up, walking to your kitchen window to see who was outside, but there was no one to be seen. You frown, quickly walking to your door to open it.

You looked around. No one. The cool air hit your face giving you goose bumps. Your cross your arms to shield yourself from the wind. You sigh looking down, not expecting to see what you saw. Your eyes widen squatting down to pick a bouquet of at least 30 red roses up. Suddenly a card attached to the bouquet fell on the floor.

You take a step back, picking it up, confused and a little anxious at the same time. Not knowing what to expect. Is Christian playing a joke on you or something? You look over your shoulder if he hadn’t gotten up to check on you before you opened the card and started reading.

This was supposed to be a thank you letter for agreeing to the deal, but coming here changed my mind. I want to be sure that you won’t break after seeing what I just saw. Know that I recorded the two of you on your couch through the window just now. If you, in any way talk Christian out of our little deal or form any type of threat, I will release the video online with a time stamp and a fabricated story. Showing his disloyalty to Yura. Turning him into the bad guy. What a story that would be right? I think you are smart enough to know the consequences for the both of you. Don’t underestimate me y/n. I would do anything to ensure my own and Yura’s reputation. I look forward to seeing you again. And just a tip. Buy some curtains sweetheart. Good night.

You panic. Your heart pounded in your throat as your breathing became heavier. If that video leaked it would ruin Christian. Not only Christian but DPR too. A tear escaped your eye. Fuck. You swallow harshly unable to wrap your head around the situation yet, feeling like you just stepped into a nightmare.

“Babe?” Christian yelled from the living room, wondering what’s taking you so long.

You quickly wipe your tear away. But you fail at the attempt to calm yourself down when your eyes land on the card again.

“Uhh-I-just a second” you stammer with a shaky voice. You quickly take the card and hide it in one of the pockets of your jacket. You take the roses from your doorstep and close the door. Trying to get yourself together a little more, you quickly do a few breathing exercises before you walk into the living room again. You see Christian sitting up straight on the couch, he was on his phone before he looked at you, luckily only noticing the huge bouquet of roses instead of your body language.

“Do you have another boyfriend I need to know about?” he says wide eyed. Getting up.

“When I opened the door all I saw was these” you lie, blinking a couple of times.

Christian looks at you. “Are you okay?” he asks worried seeing your pale complexion taking the roses from you.

You want to cry so bad right now. It took everything from you to control your emotions. You bit your lip shaking your head looking to the floor.

Christian put the roses down on your kitchen counter and walked closer to you. “Baby what’s wrong? What’s this about?” he asks making you look at him with his thumb and index finger on your chin.

You close your eyes. “I’m not feeling well. Maybe it was the food I don’t know.” You lie again walking away from him to a cabinet, searching for a vase to put the flowers in.

He walks after you, sitting down on the high stool behind your breakfast bar. Looking at you cautiously. You were acting weird, it was obvious.

You removed the thorns from the roses with a knife, one by one, putting them into the vase. “Who are the roses from?” he asks still looking at you.

“I fed my neighbors’ cat while she was on a business trip, I guess this is her creepy way of saying thank you” you lie again not making eye contact.

He supported his head on his hand, still looking at you pursing his lips together. Somehow he felt like he needed to give you some space. Maybe that make out session happened too quick when you both promised each other to take it slow. He knew what it would have resulted in to if that doorbell didn’t stop him. He looked at the time on his phone. 12:34 AM.

“A-are you staying over” you suddenly ask.

Christian looked up at you, shaking his head giving you a faint smile. “I have to get up early tomorrow. I want to work out before that meeting with Lee Hyung Suk. Otherwise it doesn’t fit my schedule”

Your heart sank hearing his name and you immediately looked down again to focus on the roses. You were relieved he wouldn’t stay though. You were trying your best to suppress your emotions, but didn’t know if you could for much longer. You needed time to think. Alone.

“y/n?” he says. You look up at him. Your heart was pounding so hard in your chest that you were almost afraid he could hear it.

“T-that’s fine” you stammer.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay, you really don’t look well.” He says furrowing his eyebrows walking towards you.

No, no, no. Please no hugs. You’ll break.

You decide to take his hand first, knowing he’d envelop you in one of his bear hugs if you didn’t.

“It’s okay. I’ll just drink some tea and go to sleep. I won’t be much fun to be around anyways.” You say still not looking into his eyes, intertwining your fingers with his.

“Fine” he says kissing the top of your head. “Just call if you need anything” you nod, taking a deep breath collecting the courage to look into his eyes. Knowing it’d be too weird if you kept avoiding to look at him.

When you do, your heart hurts. He’s genuinely worried, but something tells you he knows you’re lying. You don’t want him to think he did something wrong.

You both walked to your front door. Your eyes quickly check on the jacket you put that card in. Good. It wasn’t visible.  When he looks back at you, you give him a smile, standing on your tippy toes to give him a quick kiss. It surprised him, but he smiled back at you, caressing your cheek. “Good night” he says. “Text me in the morning if you’re still not feeling better alright?” you just nod at his words. Opening the door so he could walk through.

“Good night Christian” you say almost inaudible as he walked off. Your eyes followed him down the steps and to his car. You needed to be sure he wouldn’t come back.

When you see him drive away you close your door, and immediately you start to cry. You cover your mouth with your hands trying to mute yourself, slowly letting yourself fall to the floor, leaning against your front door. You sob uncontrollably as reality cuts through your heart like a knife.

It scared you, it scared you so much that Hyung Suk now had the power to make you distance yourself from Christian. Knowing you’d agree to any suggestion he would make to you, and you couldn’t do anything about it. That thought alone choked you up even more, not knowing what to do and not wanting to lose Christian, especially now that your relationship was taking a turn for the better.

You loved Christian too much to tell him. He wouldn’t care about what it would do to him or his life. He’d never let you keep it a secret, so he could never know.

You pull your knees up to your chest, leaning your chin on your knees while you close your eyes trying to bare the heavy pain chest.

You’re on your own now.

Chapter 6

if I’m sad or tired from life and you happen to be the person I confide in, don’t tell me that stupid “give life another chance” shit. No. Dont you dare.
At that point nothing you’ll say will make me feel better.
So next time if you hear from me giving up, look me in the eye and say “you’re a god damn slytherin” and I swear to the devil himself, I would do a 180° flip.
My house has helped me a lot. Its more than just a fantasy. It’s where I have found my home. People with greatness and tragedy in their blood Alike.
Yes. So next time just remind I’m a slytherin and what I am supposed to do. How great I am meant to be.
Because the world can turn it’s back on me but my house will never let me down

Mon El’s role

So Supergirl has been very explicitly referencing the election this season. They’re not being even a little subtle. Supergirl’s America has a female president, and she says something about how she can’t believe anyone even voted for the other guy. I think they used the phrase “nasty woman” twice now. Thematically, they’re really trying to make it obvious. 

And now we have the leaders of Daxam saying they need to “make Daxam great again,” with the response that “Daxam was never great.”

Here’s what I think that means thematically, and how I think Mon El factors into this particular message. The United States of Supergirl’s world has some issues, but they’re working specifically on protecting the aliens immigrating there. Between Lena and the president, we have strong female characters in positions of power. We also have Lyra, who is a refugee coming from a bad situation. So in Supergirl’s universe, America is not perfect, but getting better. It’s kind of going down the path that we wish the real US would start following. 

And as for Daxam. After this week’s episode, the parallels between the current administration and Mon El’s parents moved from debatable to explicit. I think that Daxam is meant to represent the worst parts of our country- our past, what we could become under this administration, the growing nationalist mindset of “America first.” We may not have slavery anymore, but we did. And what we do have are undocumented immigrants being paid next to nothing while certain people claim that they’re the ones benefitting from the deal (see: Mon El’s mother talking about how they give their servants a better life). We also have a system where the very privileged benefit from the suffering of the lower and middle class (see: “…letting myself be propped up at the expense of our people”). Daxam is Trump’s America, in short. It is what we could become- what we’re in danger of becoming. 

Which brings me to Mon El’s role to the overall theme here. Mon El isn’t heroic, initially. He was raised in a place where all this inequality was normalized, by parents who taught him that it was okay, where he benefitted from the system. And he did what most people do in that situation: nothing. He chose to turn a blind eye. He was afraid of his parents, afraid of confronting all the problems with his world, afraid of acknowledging what he was doing wrong. In the real flashback where he leaves Daxam, it seems clear that he knows that this is wrong. It also seems clear that he’s never done anything about it. 

So he leaves Daxam, where he is privileged and ignorant and cowardly. He gets to this new place, with all these heroic people around him (see: my earlier post about this). One of the first things that happens is Kara calling him out, personally. This is when he starts being forced to confront what he took part in on Daxam. He moves from the Trump America Metaphor to the optimistic view of America. He doesn’t do a 180 flip or anything- it takes some time to to change and unlearn his upbringing on Daxam. And he makes a lot of mistakes while he’s trying to change, like lying and denying who he was and not listening. He even tries to defend Daxam and “the prince” at first, because he doesn’t want to admit who and what he was. Which was a spoiled, privileged guy who was too afraid to stand up for what was right. 

So what’s the message here? What are they trying to get at? Well, here’s the thing. We’d all like to believe that we’re Kara, standing up for what’s right no matter what. Or that we’re Lena, willing to go against our families if they’re wrong. Or that we’re James, with the drive to do good and the desire to be a hero. Or that we’re Winn, continuing to do what’s right no matter how scared we are. 

The fact of the matter is that not everyone is Kara. Many, many people are Mon El- unwilling to confront their privilege, scared to go against the majority, preferring to deny their part in the oppression of others. We see it all the time, every day, constantly. Mon El, as a written character, is calling people out- “See what you sound like? See what you’re doing? Watch this character make your mistakes, and then consider how you feel.”

On Daxam, like in our country under this administration, we can’t really afford to be bystanders. We can’t afford to be neutral, to refuse to take a stand, to just go on believing that we don’t have to do anything because someone else will. So when Mon El starts trying to change, clumsily and slowly and with a lot of help, here’s what the message is:

It’s not too late to be on the right side of history. It’s not too late to stand up.