18 to 24 months

3

the royal meme -  royal moments [1/15]

Victoria turned 18 on 24 May 1837, and a regency was avoided. Less than a month later, on 20 June 1837, William IV died at the age of 71, and Victoria became Queen of the United Kingdom. In her diary she wrote, “I was awoke at 6 o'clock by Mamma, who told me the Archbishop of Canterbury and Lord Conyngham were here and wished to see me. I got out of bed and went into my sitting-room (only in my dressing gown) and alone, and saw them. Lord Conyngham then acquainted me that my poor Uncle, the King, was no more, and had expired at 12 minutes past 2 this morning, and consequently that I am Queen." 

Above: famous 19th century sketch of the meeting; The Young Victoria with Emily Blunt dramatising the scene

There are several reasons why fans of BBC’s Sherlock are utterly mad, incurably creative, and horny as hell. First and foremost, they are hungry. Devotees of American TV dramas get twenty-two episodes a year. Fans of most British drams enjoy six, eight, maybe a dozen. The Sherlock fandom gets three. The Sherlock fandom gets three television episodes every 18-24 months. The Sherlock fandom is deeply, abidingly, and very inventively starving.
—  Anne Jamison, Fic: Why Fanfiction is Taking Over the World.
June Week 3 (6/18-6/24): Like a Moth in the Flame

June Bug month is getting hotter with the third week here. This week, we are drawn to bright flames thanks to @heartofmuse‘s idea of:

Like a Moth in the Flame

Your piece doesn’t have to be about bugs but it certainly can be! *Please let this inspire your writing in any way!*

For our prompts, we accept and encourage all types of writing. We just ask you to please stay on topic and please read our post on topics we do not want glorified and condoned.

Tag your post #psjune and we will reblog your work throughout the week. If your work is not reblogged within 48 hours (Tumblr can be glitchy with tags), please message @just-4-thought

Any questions? Ask us!

anonymous asked:

I don't see people mad about harry going solo. What I see people mad about is that it appears H had an entire career lined up & ready to go & the other men were blindsided by it & left to scramble & figure out what they were going to do. The 18-24 months hiatus was repeated by ot3 several times, harry was silent. It appears ot3 thought 1 thing & H had this whole entire plan & ripped the rug out from underneath them after MITAM promo. It's the way he appears to have gone about it that's upsetting

Yup, this is what I’m seeing as well for the most part. Thank you for putting it more concisely than I have.

markusleben  asked:

Are you sure it was cards rotating out twice a year that was unpopular? It might've been how short an 18 month rotation is that was unpopular. You could have a 24 month rotation with twice yearly rotation and it would have the added benefit of making it so sets spent an equal amount of time in Standard.

The data showed two things:

1) Let us play our cards longer.

2) Have cards rotate out less often.

anonymous asked:

people: harry never said they'd be back in two years sweaty don't blame harry blame the boys :-) harry in late 2015: we’re just not touring next year.

So, I’ve seen people screaming Harry never lied.

Yeah, bullshit.

First off, he sure as hell implied they were coming back with statements like “we’re just not touring next year.”

Second, when your bandmates give 18-24 months and you sit there in silence, you are giving approval to what they are saying. (Sort of like if you sit around while people make nasty comments about your rumored-ex’s sex life, and you say nothing. Oh wait…)

Third, Harry has actually, quite clearly, been distancing himself from the band since Another Man. It’s just that many in this fandom have chosen to ignore his distancing language.

What’s funny is that the ones who have chosen the most to ignore his distancing language the most are the same who are trying to make every het song he has gay. They twist things around to however they want to read it. (Every het song is gay apparently.)

They also fail to realize that this anger over Harry’s tour is not just about Harry. It’s about being lied to by Harry/the band (I still contend we don’t know who knew/thought what when they were talking during MITAM promo), it’s about being lied to by big blogs in the fandom, it’s about fandom bullying, and it’s about people (finally) realizing that One Direction, even if they come back, will never be what it was. And most people in this fandom came for a band.

But if you came for Harry and a gay ship and the band was just incidental, as I think it (clearly) is for some people, you fail to understand that.

4

Miss Lane debuted her latest Disney costume at WDW Sunday for Dapper Day. She cosplayed at the Magic Kingdom as Jane Porter (from Disney’s Tarzan) and she really had a blast and met tons of very dapper friends. :D

At the top I made a little collage of construction pics I snapped while sewing her costume. (I was up until 4am Sunday morning -four hours before we left for the park- so sadly I didn’t snap pics of some of the pieces coming together in the end.)  I started out with a bright yellow tablecloth I found at Goodwill for $4.99. The color was perfect and just screamed Jane to me. (I’ve wanted to sew her costume forever and finally did it! YAY!) I created a bustle with steel hooping for her to wear under the dress (she also had a crinoline I made out of some netting.)  The hat is from Children’s Place and I just changed out the band around it. The belt is a remnant of brown suede and the tie was a scrap leftover from the hat band material.  The little parasol was a lace one I found at a thrift store and I took it apart and sewed a new cover to make it look more like Jane’s. I ran out of time so it’s missing the tassles and a few minor details, but I may revisit it before she wears it again. I kind of just made up the pattern and draped it as I went. They really don’t make bustle dress patterns in 18-24 month sizes. ;)  All in all I’m very happy with the finished dress and she was such a trooper wearing it around the park all day. It’s was quite warm, too–but she kept the hat and gloves on the entire time, and for a 2 year old toddler, that’s saying something! :D I’m so proud of my little cosplayer. 

anonymous asked:

What's the right age to stop socialisation and start SD training?

Hey there!

Well that’s a bit of a loaded question with a really complex answer so I’ll do my best. 

Socialization is a lifelong thing but dogs are generally most impressionable between 8 and 16 weeks of age. This means fears developed and not properly addressed during this time will probably stay for an entire lifetime, but conversely so will confidence and bonds made. This is why proper socialization is so key during this time. But a dog should still be introduced to new things and new people regularly when they’re older. Socialization is also so heavily encouraged with young dogs because its how you form a strong bond with them, so if you’re getting an adult dog, practice socializing them! 


I presume you mean task and public access (PA) training for “SD” training and this all depends on your individual dog, state, and training abilities. Your dog needs to be reasonably house-trained before you do PA work. This isn’t always age-dependent. VSEPR still has accidents if I don’t listen to his cues, but I also know his schedule and generally know when he’s going to be able to focus and ‘hold it’ for an outing. If you don’t start a habit of a dog pottying indoors, you don’t have to break it. VSEPR never really got the chance to learn that not-grass is a good place to eliminate, so he innately doesn’t really want to eliminate on not-grass. 

My (somewhat) unpopular opinion on PA work: It should start from day 1. This isn’t to say bring a 6-8 week old puppy everywhere with you. But do bring them to parking lots and work near carts, cars, big scary diesel trucks, automatic doors, doors with bells, doors with greeters, and people of all different ages, ethnicity, races, and sizes. DO NOT bring an under-vaccinated dog into pet-stores or other places they can get communicable diseases. Parvo will quickly devastate and likely kill a puppy. 

Gradually advance to working on walking into and out of stores, then walking through a few aisles and practicing commands, then to waiting in line, etc. Remember a young puppy will likely take 6+ months of practicing before you can actually bring them to a store and buy anything while an adult or more mature dog may be good-to-go on the first session. PA training should be comprised of designated outings that are specifically for training. 

All this is said remembering your rights and responsibilities handling an SDiT. If your state protects SDiTs and not-’certified’ handlers, don’t abuse it by putting your terrified SDiT into situations they aren’t ready for. Respect that businesses don’t exist for you to train your dog: be openly thankful for them accommodating you even if it is required by law and go back in after you’re finished training and purchase goods if you’re able. You’ll help the next SD or SDiT team by leaving a good feeling with the staff. 


Task training: this entirely depends on you, your dog, and the tasks you want them to learn. Don’t start brace and balance work if your dog isn’t fully grown and matured (18-24 months and has hips and elbows cleared by a good veterinarian). Some drug or bomb dogs start learning scent work at 10 weeks, so the same could go for med alert dogs. 

Regardless, you should start building the habits you need from them from early on. For example, VSEPR learned to touch his nose to my hand on cue within 5 days of coming home, but he’s nowhere near able to open a door for me. But that task will be much easier to train when he’s bigger because he already knows “touch”.  A professional trainer is a good resource for these ideas for your particular situation.

Hope that helped! Have a good day!

anonymous asked:

also do you think bella and abel were toxic for each other?

Potentially? I think their age difference immediately causes an imbalance, when they went public they were 18 and 24 but it looks like they started dating just a month or so after she turned 18 (so they may have met before) and she was a fan of his so he inherently had a power over her that. On top of that, Bella seems like she’s very passive/permissive so I imagine she would probably excuse and justify his bad behaviour and be very easily influenced into doing anything he says or adapt to what he does. He was never around her friends and she actually cut off a lot of her friends and went out way less when she was with him and that immediately changed after break up. However, her family was super encouraging and supportive of them and we never saw them act hinky together like they were a totally uneventful couple. Bella I think would be more annoying than toxic, she’s young and a party girl so she might’ve been more encouraging in that regard.

anonymous asked:

another gross thing about Clalec is Alec is like 23/24 and Clary just turned 18 like 2 months ago. technically she isnt a minor but she's still young enough to be in high school and he's an adult

Another gross thing about clalec is that it exists. Also good point I get what u mean bc she was a minor like 3 months ago (if even, bc it was her 18th at the start of the series)

Important Announcement - Please Read

{January 4, 2017}

Hey guys! Kaylee here. So, I have a really important thing that I need to tell you all.

Some of you might know that I’m a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Our common nicknames are “LDS” or “Mormon”. In our church, young adults have the choice and opportunity to serve a mission, where we are sent somewhere in the world to spread the word of God. During this time, our communication is limited since our main focus is to be a representative of Jesus Christ and help others. We don’t have access to Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter, etc.

18 year old men typically serve a mission for 2 years, or 24 months. 19 year old women typically serve for a year and a half, or 18 months. When you reach the respective ages, you can begin your missionary application. The process usually takes a month or two, and then you receive your call. You can list preferences on where you want to go, but for the most part you’re sent where you’re needed. We don’t get to pick where we go, but I think that’s good, because we learn to be humble and accepting of God’s will.

I turn 19 on April 6th of this year. You’re allowed to start your papers a few months before you reach missionary age. I met with one of my church leaders last night to start my application process. This is something I’ve prayerfully considered for years now, and I know that this is what God wants me to do at this time. I love my faith very much, and the happiness I’ve been able to feel as a result is too wonderful and beautiful not to share.

I’m going to list my availability date as sometime in the beginning of July 2017. That’s July of this year. That means that I’ll be away from Tumblr until December 2018 or January 2019. The thought of leaving you all for a while is upsetting to me, but I know that this is what I need to do. There’s a common quote that family and friends of LDS missionaries like to keep close to heart: “missionary: a person who leaves their family for a short time in order to help others be with theirs for eternity.”

On the bright side, you all will hear from me once a week! Missionaries are allowed to send out emails and letters to friends and family back home. I can’t guarantee that it will be every week, but I’ll do my best. We can get really busy, haha. For the most part, missionaries will send out a generic weekly email that’s basically a status report on what they’ve been doing, who they’ve been teaching, and the things that the mission teaches them. I’m also more than happy to send personal emails and letters to you all as often as I can. In addition, the wonderful @luminescent-kat has agreed to post my weekly emails to my blog here!! She’s a lifesaver and I love her.

Please, feel free to ask me any and all questions about my faith, the mission, and the process! I’m more than happy to answer your questions and help anyone understand. I won’t be leaving until July, but I wanted to give you all a decent heads up. I love you all a lot, and know that I’m not doing this because I want to leave you guys or leave Tumblr. I’m doing this to bring joy to others, and to grow as a person and follower of God. When I get back, I’ll definitely revive my blog and resume screaming with you all

Thanks for being so understanding!!

Love, Kaylee

anonymous asked:

Hey I liked the post you did for parents of children with autism. I'm talking about the one where you say that there's always a reason for something they do. I have a question for you. What are your thoughts on ABA therapy? And how do you feel about Behaviorism in general? I'm just wondering. I have some opinions myself but wonder what your thoughts are. have a wonderful Saturday

Hello!

I think the reason ABA exists is because people who practice it and support it simply don’t see autistic individuals as human beings with their own thoughts, consciousness and personality.

So ABA or applied behavioral analyses is a technique that uses rewards and punishments to encourage desirable behavior and eliminate unwanted behavior. Typically it requires the child (or teenager, or adult) to pay close attention to what the practitioner is doing and do it for several hours at the time, but obviously there are exceptions.

The basic premise is that if the child does something you don’t want them to do, you punish them (by taking away stickers or reducing their playtime or in bad cases by hitting their hands or spraying water on them). And if they do something you want them to do, you reward them (with stickers, or toys, or more playtime, or in bad cases just with breaks or food).

Does this remind you of anything? Yeah, exactly, it’s dog training. You attract the dogs attention, you reward it for doing what you want it to do and punish it for doing what you don’t want it to do. And I mean, it’s pretty effective, right? I don’t think it’s not effective. Basic neurobiology says it is effective, it forms new reflexes and achieves the goal of reducing “bad” behaviors and inducing “good” behaviors. And research shows that parents see a positive difference because on the outside it looks like their child is improving.

And I’m not saying we don’t use reward/punishment techniques on allistic children. We do, and I’m not saying we should eliminate behavioral therapy entirely. I just think we should remember about the underlying reasons we use it. We train dogs because dogs don’t have a consciousness or episodic memory and it’s impossible to just explain to a dog that it shouldn’t eat things off the ground or run across the road when it’s red light.

Sometimes children are too young to understand why they shouldn’t have a diet entirely made out of candies or why they should go to bed now, so we use punishments and rewards to achieve the goal. However we should remember that human children from the age of 18-24 months already have a consciousness, some episodic memory and ability to decide for themselves. So that kind of training gets less and less effective as they age, and we need to reason with them and explain why eating candies only is bad for them and why they need to do this thing.

We recognize that (allistic) children are humans with all these qualities and we don’t expect them to obey like dogs because children also have feelings and thoughts and they might have a more complex reason to do a bad thing. Maybe they don’t want to go to bed because they think there’s a monster under their bed. Maybe they don’t want to eat their meal because it makes their tummy hurt. In that case parents usually communicate with their child, discover the underlying cause and modify their response to it. Now instead of saying “if you won’t go to bed now, no cartoons for you tomorrow!” the parent might say “let’s put special monster traps under your bed to catch all the monsters!” and that’s what wonderful about humans. We think, we feel, we are self-aware.

ABA comes from a premise that autistic children aren’t fully human. And before you go “not all ABA therapists!”, let me remind you that Ivar Lovaas, the inventor of ABA, said that exact thing in his book. He thought that autistic children don’t have a personality or a conscious mind and therefore you can’t reason with them. So you just need to sort of “carve” a real human out of them by suppressing their autistic behavior and training them into doing allistic things, like hugging or making eye contact. He associated those things with humanity and in his opinion if you don’t do them, you simply aren’t human.

ABA does exactly that. It assumes that autistic behaviors are inherently bad and harmful, and in order to make the child whole you need to train them into doing allistic behaviors. An ABA therapist won’t look into why a child bites their fingers, they will simply train it out of them with punishments. An ABA therapist won’t figure out why the child doesn’t like hugs, they will train them into doing it with rewards. They just don’t consider a possibility of reasoning or communicating with the child like they are a real human being. They do their job, they train the child into pretending to be allistic, which from the outside looks almost like the child has been “cured”.

Does it work? Well yeah, sorta. After hours and weeks and months of ABA, your child will learn to suppress stimming, look people in the eyes, sit still when you tell them to, and hug you and say “I love you” on request. Will it “cure” them of their autism? Nope. Autism is still there, it’s a fundamental part of their brain and you can’t train it out of them. The reason why they used to stim or avoid hugs is still there, it didn’t go anywhere, it’s just now the child won’t ever show it. They will go to bed despite being afraid of that monster, every night, and cry, clutching their pillow. They will eat that meal and try to show that they aren’t in pain by biting their lip and saying “thank you for the yummy meal” because that’s what they were trained to do.

ABA comes from the belief that autistic people don’t have thoughts, feelings and consciousness. ABA thinks that those autistic behaviors like stimming serve no purpose and need to be eliminated. ABA thinks that the only way to stop a child from screaming or banging their head on the wall (which they most definitely do for a reason, probably because they feel bad) is to take away their reward stickers for doing that. It just doesn’t occur to them that perhaps the child bangs their head on the wall because they are constantly overwhelmed and stressed and need to let out their frustration. It doesn’t occur to them that perhaps the child doesn’t like hugs because it’s too much touching and feels awful, and that they’d rather flap their hands when seeing their parent to show affection. They think that the *only* way to get desirable behaviors out of the child is good old basic reward-punishment training.

I won’t even tell you about the effects of ABA on children, about the rates of PTSD in those children, about the self-hate, depression and complete lack of self-esteem they acquire, about the rates of abuse and molestation for those children (because they are trained to always obey adults and do what they are told). I think you can guess it’s Not Good.

So yeah, these are my thought on ABA. I’m sorry it got long, but I had a lot to say.

THE MEANING OF THE EOD BADGE

The Wreath
Symbolic of the achievements and laurels gained minimizing accident potentials through the ingenuity and devotion to duty of its members. It is in memory of those EOD officers and men who gave their lives while performing EOD duties.

The Bomb
Copied from the design of the World War II Bomb Disposal Badge, the bomb represents the historic and major objective of the EOD attack, the unexploded bomb. The three fins represent the major areas of nuclear, conventional and chemical/biological interest.

Lightning Bolts
Symbolize the potential destructive power of the bomb and the courage and professionalism of EOD personnel in their endeavors to reduce hazards as well as to render explosive ordnance harmless.

The Shield
Represents the EOD mission - to prevent a detonation and protect the surrounding area and property to 

Meaning of Each Level
There are three levels of the Explosive Ordnance Disposal Badge. The first is the Basic EOD, the second is the Senior EOD and the third is the Master EOD. Requirements vary between the badge levels and branches of service. In general, the Basic badge requires explosive handling training and between 18 to 24 months of on-the-job training. The Senior badge is issued after three to five years as a specialist. Those with between seven and 15 years of service in a senior, supervisory position may receive the Master badge.

Regrets (Nate Maloley)

Can you please write one where Nate and the reader are having twins and she goes on tour with him and but he’s not sure if he’s ready to be a dad and not sure of he still wants to be with her bc he feels like he’s going to miss opportunities maybe she overheard him talking to the guys about it an she decides to stay home and break things off with Nate. Then when he gets back from tour he realizes he wants her and the twins but it’s too late and she’s with a new guy. -Anon
—–
I don’t think I’ve ever felt more happy and excited in my entire life. When I told Nate that I was pregnant and it was twins, I was terrified of what he would do. Surprisingly he was more excited than I was. Now, I’m 3 months along and packing for the tour.

At first I was nervous about going on tour with him, especially since I had 2 little lives in me, but after a quick visit with the doctor I was completely free to go on tour, as long as I stayed away from the drugs and alcohol and kept the partying to a minimum. Nate promised to stay away from it too, for the sake of the babies because ever since I read an article online that said that just inhaling various fumes could cause birth defects I started to worry.

I headed into the studio with a couple bags of food for the guys. They wanted to work on one last song before we got on the road tomorrow. I opened the door and heard all the guys talking as I headed down the long hallway.

I heard Nates voice, which immediately made me excited, “Man, I don’t know how I’m gonna do it. No weed, no alcohol, no nothin for a whole 6 fucking months. This is about to be torture.” I stopped, curious to see what he’d continue saying without me there.

“Haha, that just means more for me,” Swazz says. “You know, we gon’ start up another tour about 3 months after this one, if all goes well. You gon’ come?”

“I don’t know, bro. The twins are still gonna be newborns then.”

“Oh my god, here we go with this baby stuff again. You know if you don’t keep it going you gon’ miss out on your big shot and end up working 9-5s right?”

“Nah, I’ll die before I start that shit.”

“Okay, but them babies of yours gon’ need a father who’ll be there. Can’t do both. What happened to no cuffs, huh? Oh yeah, you forgot a condom.”

I expected Nate to get mad, but instead it was me, when he just seemed to agree.

“Yeah, kind of regret that. But Y/N’s cool, and it happened now. No turnin back.”

He regrets our children? He told me he didn’t. He told me that if anybody, he wanted it to happen with me, and that we’d be the best things in his life from now on. I stormed back out of the room and shoved the food into Sammy’s hands when I saw him getting ready to head in.

“Aye, Y/N, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I said as I rushed past him, tears already coming down.

I drove myself home, barely able to see. I left my suitcase aside and didn’t finish packing. All I wanted to do now, is curl up in a ball and sob, which I did, until I remember that stress wasn’t any good for the babies. So I pulled myself together.

I’d just ask Nate about it when he got home. I’m sure he meant well, he just worded it wrong. He said he loved us. I sat myself down and watched TV while I waited for him to finish at he studio.

When he walked through the door a couple hours later, I out on a brave face.

“Hey, baby,” he said.

“Do you want to have children with me?” I asked.

He looked at me strangely. “Well, of course. Even if I didn’t it’s kind of late now,” he said, referring to my stomach.

“Do you regret the night we forgot the condom?”

“Where is this coming from, Y/N?”

“I heard you and Swazz, Nate. I heard about you hating not drinking and smoking, and about missing out on the tour, and how it’s too late to turn back now. Tell me the truth. Do you really want these babies?”

His hesitance was enough of an answer.

I held my head high as I headed upstairs to put all my belongings in the suitcase that just hours ago had been meant for us to go on tour together with. Nothing hurt more than the look in his eyes as I passed him to head out of the door with all of my belongings with me. We both knew I wasn’t coming back, that I couldn’t.
—–
18 months later:
Cameron and Violet had only 24 hours left before they’d be a year old. It made me want to cry and jump in excitement at the same time. I watched them as they each played with their own toys. They were quiet most of the day, unless one of them got in the way of the other, or one was in trouble. If one was crying, they both cried, if one was irritable, they both were. It was exhausting, yet comforting and cute at the same time. Vienna would pout if I wouldn’t let her have extra strawberry puffs, and even if Cameron didn’t know what it was about, he’d pout too.

Alex had helped me organize this big birthday bash we were gonna have here at the house for them. We’d invited all the neighborhood kids, family and friends. I’d just finished hanging the streamers when the doorbell rang.

What was on the other side, I never would have been prepared for. Nate was here. What the hell? I hadn’t seen him since that day. All I could do was stand there speechless.

“Can I come in?” he asked.

I forced myself to snap out of it. “What are you doing here?”

“I shouldn’t have let you leave.”

“It’s a little late for this conversation, Nate.” (Ha rhymes)

“I know and I’m sorry it took me so long,” he says. I can see the bags under his eyes.

“No, you’re not.” He tries to interrupt me but I keep going. “You’re not sorry at all that it took you this long to come around. This was probably your plan. Wait until you were in a better spot to deal with us and then try to come back. That’s not how shit works. A family doesn’t come when it’s goddamn convenient for you, Nate.”

“I know and I wish I would’ve come back sooner-”

“Why didn’t you, huh? That tour finished 3 months later. It’s been a whole year.” In truth, I knew exactly why he didn’t. After the tour a bigger rapper took him under his wing. He went on another tour 3 months later as his opening act, and now his new album drops in a month, which is projected to be twice as successful as his last one. Even after all this time I kept up with him because I couldn’t stop part of myself from loving him.

“Things have just been really crazy and all I can say is I’m sorry.”

Just then, Alex walks into the room, in his suit and tie heading to work.

“The twins are distracted watching their shows but they’re gonna be grumpy and hungry in a minute, I’d move fast if I were you.” He stops at the door, just behind me. “Is this..?”

I just nod, I can see the hurt on Nate’s face.

“Okay, well, I’ll let you two go back to your discussion,” he says. He kisses my forehead and squeezes himself between us to get out of the door. “I’ll be back by 7.”

After he leaves, I can see Nate and I can almost predict the questions he’s about to ask. I should tell him that Alex is gay and just living here because I pay most of the bills and he just likes helping with the kids, but he deserves the uncertainty.

“Is-” he starts, but I cut him off.

“It’s none of your business, Nate. If you want to try for custody of the kids then we can talk about this in a courtroom.”

“No, you guys can keep custody, but can I at least see them every once in a while? I know tomorrow is their birthday.”

I want to say no, but I won’t let my children miss out on knowing their biological father just because of my hurt. “Fine. You can come to the party tomorrow at one. And if you’re still here afterwards, we’ll talk about Cam and Violet spending time with you. Okay?”

He smiles a little and agrees. “I love that you went with the names we agreed on.”

“Yeah, sure,” I say, not in the mood to bond with him. “Don’t forget, tomorrow, here, at 1.” The. I close the door and sit on the couch gathering myself before the twins toddled in one after the other and sit on their blanket next to my feet.
—–
Nate was the first person to show up, surprisingly. I remember him always being slightly late for everything back when we were together. He got there right at 12:59. When he came in, it was just us, Cam and Vi for a good 10 minutes.

Seeing him play with them was the cutest thing ever, I can’t even deny it. For a minute, I thought he was gonna cry, and I couldn’t tell if it was out of joy from being able to see his children or sadness from missing their first year. I even played with them for a couple minutes and the feeling of us being a real family. Eventually I had to leave to wipe my tears before the guests started arriving. Playing family with Nate was absolutely heart-wrenching.

The party went off without a hitch. The cake was amazing, they looked so cute with cake all over their faces. There were a ton of outside activities to do. Cam and Vi played with all the other children and all the parents had fun too, surprisingly. The last family didn’t clear out until it was almost 8 and the twins were so tired, Cam fell asleep in their play pen, his head laying on his stuffed truck, and Vi fell asleep trying to boost herself into the couch. Her feet were hanging off so cutely. Nate helped me by carrying one of them to their crib while I carried the other.

I’d just finished putting away the dishes when I heard Nate from behind me. “You ready to talk?”

“Uh, yeah. Have a seat.” I gesture to the table and sit across from him. I’d rather be on the comfortable couch, but I feel more in control this way.

He starts. “Uh, I don’t know how to say this, but I think that guy you’re with is cheating on you… with another guy.”

I can’t help but let out a chuckle. “That guy is Alex and I’m not with him.”

“Oh,” he simply lets out. I do wonder who Alex was with though. Probably that single dad he’s been talking about ever since he brought his daughter for a play date with the twins. “So you’re not married?”

“No, but that’s beside the point. We need to try to work out this whole custody thing.”

“You don’t have to call it custody. I just want to spend some time with my kids. I wish I would’ve grown a pair and talked about this with you before, but I can’t turn back time so..”

I ignore his comment. “So what exactly were you thinking?”

“Uh, well I’m gonna be in town for at least a year, so I’d like to see them maybe once a week? We’d just spend some time at my condo, maybe go play somewhere. I have a couple of friends who have kids now too so we could meet up with them.”

“Okay. But let’s lay down some ground rules. You will not have my children anywhere around drugs or alcohol. If you or them come back here smelling like that, the deal’s off. And also, I’d like to know what you guys will be doing when you’re gone, just in case. Here’s my number,” I give him my business card for the little shop I run down the street. And I have one last question.“

“What is it, sweetheart?”

I momentarily glare at him for the nickname. “What’s gonna happen when you’re not in town, huh? Because if you plan on just disappearing on them for another year and a half, this deal won’t work.”

“No, Y/N, letting you guys leave my life, not coming after you, was the worst mistake I’ve ever made. That will never happen again. If I go on tour after this year is up, I’ll still make the effort. I’ll come back between stops, we can FaceTime or something, I don’t know. I’ll make it work, I promise.”

I wanted to test him, to fight him about why he didn’t keep his promise in the first place but something told me this time around he meant it.

“Alright, that’s fine. Cameron and Violet will be ready to go Thursday at 2, just bring them home by their bedtime, which is 9.” I get up and we head to the door.

“Wait, uh Y/N, I was wondering if, maybe sometimes you’d want to come with us?”

“To make sure the twins are comfortable with you? Sure-”

“No, I mean just so we can all spend time together. You know, as a family.”

“I don’t know Nate, I’ll think about it. I mean I will be there tomorrow just because the twins will go crazy if they don’t get used to you first, but we’ll see after that.”

He nodded. “Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow for our family date.”

All I could do was be that innocent girl that first met Nate and roll my eyes as I close the door. This was gonna be a long ride. 

Masterlist
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A/N:
Thanks for reading, hope you liked it. I kind of tweaked this one a little. Hopefully I’ll have more out by Thursday, maybe tomorrow. I think I only have one or 2 more elaborate imagine requests so I’ll hopefully get those out by the end of the week and finish out the song and prompt imagines. To the requester: hope you liked it! I did do just a bit of tweaking because I find it really hard to do an unhappy ending, so I tried to leave it more open-ended.

Peace,
Shay.

Dear Mr. Trump,

Last night during the debate the conversation of vaccinations was brought up, specifically with you and Dr. Carson weighing in on the discussion. Before I go on, I want to sincerely applaud you for seeing the necessity of vaccinations. However, there are a few points I would like to clarify. Now I am no pediatric neurosurgeon like Dr. Carson, but I am on the road to get my PhD in Clinical Psychology. But possibly more important is the fact that I can and do read scientific research when forming opinions on scientific topics, one being the relationship between vaccines and Autism. Last night, you made it very clear that you believe that vaccinations cause Autism; an opinion that appears to be formed by personal experience or things you have seen. Although Dr. Carson tried to explain to you that the research does not show that, I understand he only had 1 minute and 30 seconds to speak, so let me break it down for you:

  • In 1998 Dr. Andrew Wakefield published a study that claimed there was a link between the MMR vaccine and autism. Of note, his sample size for this study was 12. Anyone who conducts research knows that a sample size that small does not have a lot of power and lacks generalizability, unless you are researching an area that is extremely rare.
  • Dr. Wakefield later lost his license to practice due to misconduct related to the “evidence” he gathered. Further, the paper was later completely retracted and Dr. Wakefield was found guilty of ethical violations, due to the fact that the data was made up, the support for the connection was insufficient, and the paper was published due to financial interests, rather than the interest of good research.
  • Since this study was published in 1998, numerous other studies were conducted on a total of over 14 million children and not a single one found the link between the MMR vaccine and autism.
  • Mr. Trump, I am assuming you are an intelligent man and, therefore, you can put two and two together to realize that there has only been one study that has linked Autism to vaccines, and said study was fraud.

Well, what about the personal things you have seen or the fact that Autism has become an “epidemic”, as you called it, and 25-30 years ago we didn’t see Autism at the rates we do now? Let me help you out on that one too:

  • You mentioned that you had a friend whose baby went to get his 2 year old vaccinations. A week later he had a fever and now is Autistic. The irony is, research has indicated a link between fevers and Autism; however, the link is the opposite of what you have seen. Multiple studies are now describing the “fever effect” which means that when a child with Autism has a fever, the symptoms of Autism actually subside or are not as prominent. 
  • Further, one reason this child may have “suddenly become Autistic” is the fact that many pediatricians in the United States screen for Autism and 18 months and 24 month well visits. It is possible that a screener was given at his 24 well month visit and he was identified as high risk, further testing was conducted, and a diagnosis was made. Although the average age of Autism diagnosis in the United States is around 4 years old, symptoms often start to show and diagnoses can be made around 18 months to 2 years. So it is possible that the diagnosis just happen to align with the time he got his vaccinations because that is when symptoms start to occur and children start to be identified. 
  • Well what about the increase in autism; an “epidemic” as you call it? First and foremost, there has been an increase in the diagnosis of these disorders, which is different than an increase in the prevalence of the disorders. Think about it this way, the MMR vaccine became available in 1971. Infantile autism was not even a recognized disorder in the DSM until 1980 (35 years ago), with Autistic Disorder appearing in the DSM in 1987 (28 years ago). Further, autism as most people know it today was not described until 1994 (21 years ago). Looking at those numbers alone, no wonder we didn’t see the current number of cases of Autism 25-30 years ago. Over the past 20 years we have seen a rise in the increase of diagnosis of Autism, but that does not mean it wasn’t present before then, we just didn’t have the research or a name for the disorder.
  • Further, the disorders that the MMR vaccine apparently “cause” weren’t even around until 9 years after the vaccine became available, with the disorders as we know them now, coming along much later. However, if the MMR vaccine really causes neurological disorders, we would have seen a rise in these disorders starting in the 1970s, when the vaccine first came out, even if there was not necessarily a name at the time, not the 1990s and 2000s (around and after the time Dr. Wakefield’s paper was published). 
  • Over the past 20 years, research has advanced dramatically. Instead of blaming vaccines for the increase in diagnosis, how about we consider the fact that we now have a name for these disorders, and more research and information about them, as well as more accurate measurement tools to diagnose the disorders, thus causing the increase in diagnosis.

So Mr. Trump, you may believe that vaccines cause Autism, but scientific research would have to disagree. You say that Autism is an epidemic, but know what else will be? Measles, mumps, and rubella, if children are not vaccinated as they should be. I personally would rather have an epidemic of a neurological disorder, that can improve with therapy and in which many people can go on and graduate high school, college, sustain a job, get married, etc., than have an epidemic of a deadly disease that may take these innocent children’s lives away before they ever have those opportunities.

Sincerely,

A woman who knows how to science.