Pregnancy Updates
  • I am craving ice cream like nobody’s business.
  • I felt the baby move at 16 weeks and 0 days,
  • The baby rolled over yesterday, it was the strangest feeling ever.
  • We had a Down Syndrome scare but everything appears to be okay, I will know more about the baby’s condition on Thursday at the anatomy scan.
  • Marcie and I bought a few teddy bear onsies for the baby- very cute.
  • We are super anti-gender stereotypes, our child will wear all sorts of colors. Also, I kind of hate the color pink (which is funny because it was my favorite color as a child). However, I don’t hate pink as much as I hate orange. Blech! I think our sex reveal colors will be green and purple. Maybe green for a girl and purple for a boy? We haven’t decided yet.
  • Our top names right now are London for a boy and Willow Sky for a girl. These things are still being debated however.
  • The kids at my school rub my bell every day and tell me how big the baby is getting. The also sing to the baby, talk to the baby, and draw pictures for the baby. Last week, one of the classes predicted whether the baby would be a boy or a girl. More students voted for boy. We’ll see…
  • I haven’t set anything up in the room yet. Marcie started a registry and my mom dragged me to Babies R Us to pick out a crib. I think we may have chosen a set for the room.
  • I found a lawyer yesterday so that Marcie can legally adopt the child once she/he is born. This is necessary these days unfortunately, but only if we are ever in a state that does not recognize gay marriage.
  • I had AWFUL hip and back pain over the weekend. It was hard to walk.
  • I am HUGE for 17 weeks. People keep asking me if I am having twins. I HATE that question because I lost the twin.
  • I still grieve the loss of the second baby.
  • I want a girl but I want a live baby more than anything.
  • My breasts have started making colostrum which thoroughly freaks Marcie out! Ha! My breasts have also grown at least a size and a half and I am still squeezing into my old bras- not a good choice.
  • I take a bath every day to relieve hip pain. Also, that is strangely where I work best- laptop right next to the tub (also not a good choice).
  • I am procrastinating other super important things right now by making this list. ;)
  • I started a journal for the baby and I have been very open in it about the details of the pregnancy. Perhaps someday I will scan it and put it online.
17 Weeks

So in keeping with the “what size is the baby this week” photos, here we are. (In case you couldn’t tell, nugget is the size of an onion this week.):

And the side view:

And for some reason in this dress I just look REALLY pregnant. I think it’s the empire waist that makes me look like I’m much further along than I really am:

I’m getting EXTREMELY anxious for our Level II ultrasound next week. I’ve not seen the nugget since 11w6d and by the time this ultrasound happens I’ll be 18w3d. THAT’S A LONG FRICKEN TIME! I’m annoyed that my OB wouldn’t give me an ultrasound at my appointment 15w6d. It’d been 4 weeks at that point so I don’t understand the major issue there. But they just kept saying that I’d have an ultrasound three weeks later.

Why are doctors so chincy with these ultrasounds???? Do those massive ultrasound machines have a lifetime of like 100 uses on them or something? I don’t get it. And it’s an abdominal ultrasound so no one has to look at anyone’s lady parts. Makes no sense to me.

But because it’s been so long—though I did hear the nugget’s heartbeat at 15w6d, which was, thankfully, enough to ease my anxiety for a short time—I’ve grown increasingly anxious about there being something wrong. I’m in that strange in between period, too, where you desperately want to feel the baby move to reassure you and yet you can’t decipher between gas pains and possible flutters.

There have been several times that I SWORE I felt something. Little pops and whooshes, but nothing consistent. I know the little guy isn’t big enough yet for me to really feel him, but come on, nugget! I need you to kick harder!!

So the countdown till the next ultrasound begins. It can’t get here soon enough!

Second Trimester Screening

I had my second trimester screening yesterday at 17 weeks and 6 days. Everything was normal and the baby looked perfect! The baby’s heartbeat was strong and we saw both hemispheres of the brain and all four chambers of the heart. The baby was measuring right on track and growing appropriately. It was only me who lost a pound! I really need to start eating better… My mother was there and the she stepped out when the ultrasound tech told us the sex of the baby. It is a big secret until the day of our reveal party (April 7th). I will post pictures and videos later. You wouldn’t believe the quality! The baby has such a cute little button nose.

I started DHA supplements yesterday. The doctor’s office didn’t have any that were vegetarian so I had to buy them from Whole Foods. I also started taking extra folic acid.

I feel a beautiful strength rising in my being. A deeper comprehension of & gratitude for existence and how we come to be.
Each day is such a blessed step of the journey; as I feel this new life growing inside of me, I know I am ready to embrace motherhood with all that I have.
I have so much love to share with you, my sweet little child, and I can’t wait to hold you in my arms, to show you that endless, undying love, and to teach you how to share it with all you meet. You are the most wonderful blessing I could ever ask for, and your papa and I are overwhelmed with a joy which cannot be expressed in words~

The husband gave me a gift

On Saturday morning, after we’d slept in with your puppy, Bella, and had a really nice breakfast with some really great (decaf!) coffee, the husband and I were sitting in our sunroom talking when he got all frazzled. He stood up and said, “I have something for you. But I’m scared you won’t like it.” He then walked out to the garage, into his car, and walked in with a gift bag and handed it to me.

“Happy Mother’s Day.”

I was shocked. I’m not really a mom yet, after all. And we’d decided not to spend money on gifts for one another since we’re currently paying off our IVF. But I opened the gift and inside was a long necklace with beautiful Murano glass beads on the very end. Then came the explanation.

“The green one is for Bella’s birth month. The clear one is for my birth month,” then he stopped. I looked at the two pink ones left on the chain and I teared up. “And the pink ones are for your birthday and the baby’s birthday in October.”

For about the fifteenth time in a month I just broke down in tears. The husband asked me if I was crying because I hated the necklace, but he knew better. In between sobs I told him, no, I love it. My tears were because I’m just so happy and feel so grateful.

The tears came all weekend. I had five friends give me mom-to-be cards, lots of texts, well wishes on Facebook, and a lovely bouquet of tulips from my friend, Amy, in Boston for Mother’s Day. I caught myself tearing up every time I’d open a card or get a text or whatever. And in church on Sunday, well, I did really well at composing myself—last year on Mother’s Day our pastor talked about moms but really focused on those who long so badly to be a mom. I couldn’t keep the tears from falling that day and, then, a year later there were just tears of joy. How much has changed.

To say it was a great weekend is an understatement—I was glowing with happiness. But I also found myself thinking all weekend about how much Mother’s Day hurt me last year and how much it hurts those longing to be pregnant or who have lost their babies. I am so incredibly happy and yet can’t stop thinking about those going through treatments or whatever it may be.

They say once you’re an infertile you’re always an infertile. Ain’t that the truth.

17 weeks + 1 day

Feeling great, headaches are still bad but my doc gave me some kick ass medicine. I feel baby moving around daily but the kicks aren’t strong enough to see from the outside of my tummy! My belly button is already flat and I pee a shit ton. Other than that, my hormones are balanced and I’ve been in a great mood.

I’m still lifting and staying as active as time allows. My husband and I are also starting up our own business and details/updates will obviously be posted here once things get going a little quicker!!! Super exciting!

17 Weeks Pregnant

How Far Along: 17 weeks and 2 days

Size of Baby: 5 inches (about the size of a turnip)

What You’re Doing: Enjoying spring break. Trying to will myself to accomplish the ten gazillion things I have to do.

Cravings: Ice cream, cheese cake, and Oreos.

Sleep: Sleep has been difficult the past few nights because of hip and back pain. It has also become frustrating because we put up a baby gate at the end of the hallway that is in our suite (at the entrance to the sleeping area of our room) to keep the dogs off of our carpet because they smell. Our golden retriever has been pacing up and down the hallway and whining all night! Ugh!

Sex of Baby: It’s a secret until our sex reveal party. ;)

Weight Gain: Last time I checked it was 8 pounds but I am getting bigger by the week so who knows?

Names: Girl names- Meadow, Willow, Elizabeth, Kya, Melody, and Sky (we are leaning towards Willow). Boy names- I think I like London the most.

Symptoms: Increased emotions, not to an extreme, but increased. I get a little bit more testy when I am driving than usual. Also, I have been having wicked back and hip pain. It is difficult to walk at times. The only thing that provides true relief is floating in the bathtub.

Fetal Movement:The baby started moving at 16 weeks and 0 days and has been sporadically popping around in there ever since. Marcie has felt her move a few times.

What you are looking forward to: Our sex reveal party and picking a name. I also can’t wait for our 18 week ultrasound on Thursday. My mother is driving up from NY to be there for it.

Best moment this week:The baby can hear now so I placed my phone to my tummy and played “A Thousand Years” for the baby. This is a song we picked out for the baby early in pregnancy.

What baby is doing this week: 

My how your baby has grown! She’s about the size of your palm, weighs about five ounces, and is developing some body fat (join the club, baby!). Her heart is now regulated by her brain (no more random beats) to beat 140 to 150 times per minute — about twice as fast as yours! What else is up? She’s practicing the survival skills she’ll need at birth — like sucking and swallowing.

Your baby’s little limbs reach to their relative proportions and they continue their development after this week. Even though your baby’s ears are not structurally completed and fully functional, they can hear actively.

Various parts of the baby’s brain start to develop in order to progress the hearing and other senses. When you are 17 weeks pregnant, your baby’s bones are getting stronger by the day. Unique finger prints and toe prints begin to develop.

Your baby is very mobile now and will move almost all parts of its body, which is visible in 17 weeks pregnant ultrasound. Also the baby’s body starts to be surrounded by a protective layer called vernix.

What your body is doing:

You are 17 weeks pregnant and you can feel your baby’s movements inside you. If you are a first time mother, then there is a chance that you do not recognize the movements inside your body. For first time mothers, there is a tendency to ignore the initial movements.

When you are 17 weeks pregnant, the pain in the legs may appear and also you can start feeling the pressure on the sciatic nerve. The pain can be hard to bear sometimes and the only solution is to change the body position as often as possible especially during the day. You can notice changes in posture because the breasts are becoming larger.