17 february 2013

I really don’t know how to caption this. This is for my mom, because I miss her so much. The biggest regret of my life was and is now not appreciating my mom when she was alive.

My mom died February 17, 2013. Which is not that long ago, but this February it will be one whole year without my mom. She died in her sleep, and I still don’t know how she really died. She was way too young to die at this age.  The worst part about her death is that I was there. And I feel like I could’ve done something about it. I still remember screaming and crying in my dad’s car, and I kept saying “She has to be alive. Please be alive Mommy. Please.” And my dad looked into my eyes and said
“I’m sorry baby but I don’t think she will be alive.” And at that moment, all hope drained from my body.

I still have nightmares. I still miss her. I still remember like it was yesterday.

The point of me telling you this is so you will learn to cherish and love your parents and loved ones now.  Before it’s too late. Cherish every single minute of your life with them, because you don’t know when it will be your last.

Mommy, I’m still your princess Jasmine. I will be so successful when I grow up and I will make you so proud of me. I love you so much, Josh does too.

We miss you, mama.

“So this is me swallowing my pride

Standing in front of you, saying I’m sorry for that night

And I go back to December all the time

It turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you

Wishing I’d realized what I had when you were mine

I go back to December, turn around and make it alright

I go back to December all the time”

(Idea from ipadhbu)


Shots taken during the premiere and preview of STOKER, first English language film by Park Chan Wook, at @CurzonCinemas