165 days!

The first person I lost was my lover… I cried for 165 days in a row and the first day I didn’t, I felt guilty; as if suffering somehow equated to love and the fact that I hadn’t cried meant I didn’t miss them enough and I never deserved them in the first place…
The next person I lost was my friend… Things happened… things went wrong… It felt like my whole life was falling apart and when all I wanted to do was turn to my best friend… I realized they were gone…
After that I lost my soulmate because I honestly think I lost a part of my soul. I’m not the same person anymore, a part of me is missing and I know I’ll never get it back…
And one day when I’m ready… I will lose one more person to the distant past… One day… I will lose the ghost of those three people. The spectre I see sitting across from me at empty café tables, the one I turn to face at the punchline of every joke, and one I reach for in the within vast emptiness inside myself. One day that ever present shadow will fade away forever like the rest… but not yet. I ‘m not ready to let that last echo fade… I’m still trying to reconcile the loss of the other three because they were all so much to lose…
And I lost them all within a single person.
In honour of Speak Your Language Day : 165 insults and other obscenities “à la française”

Abrutis
Analphabète
Andouille
Âne baté
Archéodendrite 
Arrière-faix de truie ladre !
Avorton
Baltringue
Barjot
Bécasse
Bélître
Blaireau
Bon sang (de bonsoir)
Bordel
Bougre d’âne / d’imbécile / de congre
Branleur
Branquignol / Branquignole
Brise-burnes
Butor
Canaille / Canaillou
Cancrelat
Casse-pieds / couilles / bonbons
Catin
Charogne
Cinglé
Clampin
Con / Conne  
Con comme un balai / un manche / une chaise / la lune / ses pieds…
Conchieur
Connard/ Connasse
Coquebert  ! 
Cornegidouille 
Couillon
Crasspouillard
Crétin (des Alpes)
Crevard 
Crevure
Croupion
Cuistre
Cul-terreux
Décérébré
Dépravé
Diantre
Don Juan de pissotière / en herbe / de pacotille
Ducon
Ecervelé
Ecornifleur
Ectoplasme (purulent)
Emmanché
Emmerdeur
Emplâtre
Enculé
Enculeur de mouches
Enflure
Enfoiré
Engeance débauchée
Face de pet / de rat
Faquin
Félon
Flagorneur 
Flute
Fourbe
Foutre Dieu
Fripouille
Fumier
Garce
Géménée de godinette
Géopyge 
Gibier de potence
Glandeur
Gourde
Gredin
Grigou
Grippeminaud 
Gueux
Guignol
Hérétique
Hurluberlu
Ironie de la création
Ivrogne
Je te conchie !
Jean-foutre
Jocrisse
Malandrin
Malapris
Malotru
Manant
Maquerelle
Maraud
Maroufle
Mauviette
Mécréant
Merdeux
Minable
Mince
Morbleu
Mordious
Mortecouille
Mouton de Panurge
Nodocéphale 
Nom de Dieu / d'un chien
Oiseau de mauvaise augure
Olibrius
Orchidoclaste
Ordure
Ostréipyge 
Palsambleu
Paltoquet
Panoufle
Parbleu
Peau de vache
Pendard 
Péquenaud
Pervers
Pétasse
Philistin
Pignouf
Pimbêche
Piqueniquedouille
Pleutre
Poivrot
Pouf
Poufiasse
Putain (de bordel de merde) !
Pute
Puterelle 
Raclure
Rastaquouère
Rat
Résidu de basse fosse !
Ribaude
Roi des cons
Roublard
Sac à vin / à foutre / à puce
Sacrebleu
Sagouin
Salaud
Sale trogne
Salopiaud
Saperlipopette
Scélérat
Schnok
Sinoque
Sous-merde
Suppôt de Satan 
Ta gueule !
Tartempion
Tartignole
Tas de fumier / de merde
Tocard
Tonnerre de Brest
Triple buse
Triste sire
Trou du cul / de balle
Troufion
Truand
Va nu pieds
Vaurien
Ventre saint-gris
Ventrebleu
Vermine
Vieille baderne / carne
Vieux fossile
Vipère
Zélateur


J’ai un jour de retard je sais, mais j’y ai pensé que ce matin après coup (en même temps c’est French Friday aujourd’hui …). J’ai ce fichier qui traîne dans mon bazar depuis un bout de temps déjà et ce n’est que maintenant que je me dis que c’est une occasion rêvée de le partager et d’en faire profiter tout le monde. Amis francophones de tous les horizons, vous avez naturellement la permission d’ajouter votre contribution à cette liste. 

I’m a day late I know, but it was an afterthought. I had this file somewhere for a while now. It was only this morning that I saw the opportunity to share it. Feel free to contribute to this list.

(◡‿◡✿)

Days until... June 12th 2017

Summer 9 days ☀️
Halfway to Christmas 12 days 🎄
Christmas in July 43 days 🎅🤶
September 81 days🍁
Autumn 103 days 🍂🍁
October 111 days🦇
Halloween 141 days 🎃
November 142 days 🎄
Thanksgiving 164 days🦃
Black Friday 165 days 💳🏷️
December 172 days ❄️
Winter 193 days 🌨️❄️
Christmas Eve 195 days🦌🎅
Christmas 196 days 🎁🎄

Resident Evil 7 Logic
  • Eveline : If you don't want to be my daddy, then DIE!
  • Ethan : Lol bish look here
  • Eveline : NO NOT THE SYRUM
  • Ethan : No it's math lol
  • Ethan : Three years ago you were about 10 years old. Now you're like 70. So that means you aged 20 years per year.
  • Ethan : 20÷365 and you age about 0.0547945205 years per day
  • Ethan : The average life span of a human is 79 years old so 79-70 and you have 9 "Years" left this current year.
  • Ethan : So that roughly means that within 165 days you would have reached 9.0410958825 "years" .
  • Ethan : Which means that you will pass away on the 14th of June .
  • Ethan : And although Resident Evil 7 : Bioharzard came out in 2016 the events takes place midway 2017.
  • Ethan : So you will die within the next 2 months at most.
  • Eveline : DAMNIT I should have sent that email out earlier
  • Ethan : No bish you should have requested home schooling