15 people i loved in 2010

Because after everything we’ve talked about, if we can honestly say that love never dies, if my heart can still flutter when I see my boyfriend from when I was 15 and a half, I cannot honestly say that there is no chance for real love in my life somewhere in the next 15 or 20 years. Because I believe that there’s always that possibility. I never want people to think that I’m some cold woman who thinks that love may have existed all those years ago when I was younger, but doesn’t exist in my dreams now, because it does exist in my dreams now. But I’m also really good not having it because I’m not lonely, I’m not bored. I have so much to do that I can hardly get three hours of sleep.” - Stevie Nicks to Lana Del Rey, 2017.

On Jaime, Brienne, and Undeniably, Cersei

I made a post last night off the cuff that I titled “NO REBLOGS” and of course, people reblogged it and added commentary. I didn’t want to start discourse like it’s 2013 again, I didn’t want to make people angry, but I was procrastinating and had an opinion I wanted to share on my personal (not even an ASOIAF) blog. I deleted the original post but because I got a request from @elenatria, I’m recreating the bulk of the post and adding more to it for your liking and reblogging purposes. 

I started reading ASOIAF in 2010, when I was 15 years old, and I’ve been in the fandom almost as long although lately, I haven’t participated as much. I always loved Jaime and Cersei individually, and I loved them as a pair as well because as a ship, they hit everything that I truly wanted in one, tragic love that wasn’t going to work out, love bordering on obsession, love that was tinged with extreme violence, you name it. However, the most popular ASOIAF ship according to AO3, is Jaime x Brienne. Now, I’m going to say this straight up, I have no problem if you ship Jaime x Brienne. Draw your fanart, write your fanfiction, by all means, ship away to your heart’s content. Personally, it’s not my cup of tea so I stay away from it, but I’ve noticed in my years in ASOIAF fandom that there’s a really genuinely sinister tinge to a lot of Jaime x Brienne shipping, a misogynistic tinge and I want to write about it here. Again, no disrespect if you ship it without resorting to these claims but like, I’ve been around the block when it comes to this fandom. 

I guess I’ll just bullet point the rest of this post because honestly there’s too many things I have to say and I don’t want to do it in paragraph format.

  • First of all, Jaime and Cersei and Jaime LOVING Cersei (and Cersei loving Jaime) are CANON. I don’t care how much you hate Cersei, you can’t ignore the fact that they were in love with each other for most of their lives, have three children together, and are both honestly obsessed with each other. From his very first chapter in ASOS to his last chapter in ADWD, Jaime constantly thinks of Cersei even if his feelings go from devoted, downright obsessive love to extreme anger, even thinking about how nice it would be to kiss her and then immediately knock out her teeth. Not cool Jaime, violence against women is never acceptable, even if it’s against your “bitch” sister who cheated on you and nobody except Cersei fans EVER calls him out for his violent thoughts. Like, Jaime might not be threatening to kill Brienne anymore or insulting her every other breath but that doesn’t mean he’s in love with her. I know, radical thought. (I’m reminded of that Tumblr post where it’s like “My boyfriend Chad is great, he only called me a bitch once last week”) But yeah my point is, Jaime is in love with Cersei. He’s extremely angry with her as of ADWD, but I can tell you for a fact that being angry at somebody doesn’t negate love for them. In an AU where he magically gets over Cersei, sure Jaime x Brienne could work, but in canon, they aren’t going to have sex and have (more) blonde babies. Jaime is going to face Stoneheart, be the Valonqar, kill Cersei and then most likely kill himself. That’s how basic narrative structure works, like that’s high school level English. The Valonqar is not Loras Tyrell, or Sandor, or Tyrion, or Tommen for god’s sakes, it’s JAIME. I get the appeal of AUs, I have a certain predilection for Jaime x Sansa in a very messed up AU even though I fully acknowledge how fucked up that is but in canon, Jaime isn’t going to be long for this world without Cersei. 
  • Relatedly, Brienne deserves somebody who isn’t in love with someone else and who began their relationship by copiously insulting and threatening to kill her. Like, I don’t know how to get this into people’s heads: being angry at somebody doesn’t mean you don’t love them. And he’s been in a lifelong codependent relationship with his literal twin sister. Do you really think he could move on and have a healthy relationship with someone else after KILLING the love of his life? Most emotionally healthy adults can move on from long term relationships but Jaime Lannister is not what I’d call an “emotionally healthy adult” like he’s trapped in the mind of the 17-year-old who killed Aerys. Arrested development you know?
  • I don’t like the Beauty and the Beast metaphor that people use to describe Jaime and Brienne. Brienne is not a Beast!!!! She’s called the Beauty mockingly, so it’s not as if she would remotely appreciate being referred to in that manner either. There’s a lot I have to say about beauty in ASOIAF too because there’s a certain “beauty is goodness” thing but it’s also the “You don’t know you’re beautiful” trope with Arya and Lyanna and the idea that any girl who is born beautiful must suffer for it. Sansa, and Cersei, and Ashara Dayne all come to mind, like Sansa is sexually assaulted in King’s Landing and is currently being groomed by Littlefinger, Cersei was repeatedly raped by Robert, and Ashara Dayne was said to have thrown herself off a cliff for failed love, and for what? Do they deserve it for being born beautiful and vain about it in the case of Cersei? Or should they not be aware of it? Would that make it better?
  • Jaime isn’t going on a redemption arc. Period. He doesn’t become a better person because of Brienne and it’s honestly disgusting that anybody would try to put the onus on Brienne to MAKE him a better person because it’s never a woman’s responsibility to fix the moral failings of a man. I think it’s worth it to talk about how the Lannister brothers, Jaime and Tyrion are much more morally gray than Cersei who’s more an anti-villain than anything who’s going mad queen on Westeros, but that’s not my point here. According to the literal text, Jaime isn’t going on a redemption arc. (cough cough trebucheting babies) That’s again, basic reading comprehension. I know people go on about different ways of interpreting the text but in reality, there are right ways and there are wrong ways and to claim that Jaime is going on a redemption arc is a wrong way.
  • I really really dislike the “Good Woman” “Bad Woman” dichotomy that people make with Brienne and Cersei. Cersei isn’t a “Bad Woman” she’s a bad PERSON. I recently wrote about how Cersei and Weaponized Femininity and how the patriarchy fails her miserably because she tries and fails to use her sexuality to gain power but that’s the thing: using her sexuality, whether it works or not, doesn’t make her a bad person. What makes her a bad person is killing children, sending people to be tortured, enacting her abuse on other women and children, and stuff that’s not remotely related to her sexuality. If anything, Cersei is severely traumatized by sex because of being repeatedly raped by Robert for literal decades and she’s totally disgusted by non-Jaime sex and that’s more tragic than anything. And as for Brienne? Brienne is the flip side of Cersei. She isn’t conventionally beautiful and doesn’t have the so-called privilege of “using her sexuality” but at the same time, she isn’t constricted by femininity in the same way. Cersei wishes she could have had a sword like Jaime, which is the only canon reason she’d ever be jealous of Brienne. I have a lot to say about gender and sexuality and these two but I’ll leave it at that.
  • I said this before but Jaime x Brienne is an easy ship for people to stomach because it’s a classic trope, Good Girl Fixes Bad Boy and takes him away from Evil Blonde Bitch and it’s an extremely sexist trope at that. The Blonde Bitch is a real live person who LOVES the “Bad Boy!!!!” Like Cersei loves Jaime! People don’t like to believe that because it detracts from their image of the Evil Queen who doesn’t know how to love and also, they’re like “haha Jaime doesn’t love Cersei anymore because she’s a crazy bitch who doesn’t deserve love.” Brienne isn’t inherently more deserving of Jaime’s love and that’s honestly a really misogynistic way to look at it. She’s a better person than Cersei hands down, but that doesn’t make her “worthy” of love because romantic love doesn’t work like that!!! I just basically hate the idea that one kind of woman is more deserving of love than another kind of woman, that is all.  
Fun Facts about Dylan Larkin

DOB: July 30, 1996, in Pontiac, Michigan.

FIRST HOCKEY MEMORY: “Probably learning how to skate with my brother and cousins at Lakeland Ice Arena.”

HOCKEY HEROES: “Steve Yzerman, Doug Brown, my brother, and I’d probably say Mats Sundin. (Why Doug Brown?) Doug Brown coached me from the time I was 12 until I was 15 or 16. I learned a ton from him and just how much he loves hockey. I played with his son. People always ask when I learned to skate. I was always a pretty good skater, but he kind of made me into an exceptional skater I guess.”

LAST BOOK READ: “‘Unbroken’ it’s a great book. I saw the movie after I read the book. The book is way better.”

CURRENT CAR: “A black 2010 Jeep Cherokee.”

FIRST JOB: “I worked for my dad, making deliveries and working at the house for him. He owns his own business.”

GREATEST SPORTS MOMENT: “Winning the U18 World Championship.”

MOST PAINFUL MOMENT: “Probably losing in the Big Ten championship.”

FAVORITE UNIFORMS: “I love the Michigan football uniform.”

FAVORITE ARENA: “Yost (Arena in Ann Arbor). Just the atmosphere, the windows, and the Jumbotron.”

CLOSEST HOCKEY FRIENDS: “I have a lot. Niko Porikos, Zach Werenski are the biggest ones. I’d say the whole ’96 USNTDP class as well. (Important to be at this year’s draft for Werenski?) Yeah, for sure, it was cool to be on the other side of it and to see how fired up he was.”

FUNNIEST HOCKEY PERSON KNOWN: “Tyler Bertuzzi and Jake Paterson. Tyler’s always got something going on. He’s funny.”

TOUGHEST COMPETITORS FACED: “Probably (defenseman) Johnny MacLeod on my NTDP team. He’s just a tough guy, hits and blocks shots. He’s fast, strong, and as a forward you don’t want to go up against him in practice.”

MOST MEMORABLE GOAL: “Scored to win the International Silver Sticks, game-winning goal in Newmarket (Ontario), probably when I was 10.”

FUNNY HOCKEY MEMORY: “That’s a tough one. You’ll have to give me a minute. … A few times I forgot my jersey and had to wear a goalie jersey.”

FAVORITE PLAYERS TO WATCH: “Patrick Kane, I love watching Pavel Datsyuk. Datsyuk live is probably the best.”

FAVORITE SPORT OUTSIDE HOCKEY: “Soccer. I used to play and just love watching it on TV with all the best players in the world.”

QUALITIES ADMIRED IN OTHERS: “Kindness.”

FAVORITE MOVIE: “I’m not going to say ‘Miracle’. Probably ‘Happy Gilmore’.

IF NOT A HOCKEY PLAYER, WHAT: “A soccer player.”

HIDDEN TALENTS: “Maybe soccer.”

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO HAVE: “Hockey.”

LIFE AFTER HOCKEY CAREER: “Stay in it.”

NICKNAME: “Larks.”

PREFERRED JERSEY NUMBER: “I wear No. 19 because my brother wore it and he wore it because Steve Yzerman wore it.”

OFF DAYS: “Hanging out, playing a little golf, putt putt.”

MOST FAMOUS PERSON IN PHONE: “Luke Glendening.”

FIRST PURCHASE AFTER SIGNING CONTRACT: “I really didn’t buy anything big, I just went to Lululemon.”

GUILTY PLEASURES: “I love Goldfish, the crackers.”

ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO DO/HAVE BEFORE EVERY GAME: “I have to have coffee with cream and sugar.”

MORNING PERSON OR NIGHT OWL: “Neither.”

IF YOU COULD BE SOMEONE’S TEAMMATE FOR A DAY, WHO: “Sidney Crosby because he’s my idol, and just to get to see how he is.”

GO BACK IN TIME MOMENT: “And everything would be the same? (Yes) Probably, when I was 14, just to relive it all.”

WHAT SCARES YOU: “Getting old, hockey ending.”

MOST EMBARRASSING CHILDHOOD MOMENT: “I was in a wrestling club in elementary school and that was embarrassing now that I look at it. (Were you bad at it?) No, it was like WWE and we would all watch it and try to reenact. (How’d that work out?) I don’t know, we thought we were cool.”

Source: https://www.nhl.com/redwings/news/wings-encounter-dylan-larkin/c-775581

#1 Favorite movies

Whip It (2009) dir. Drew Barrymore

“In Bodeen, Texas, an indie-rock loving misfit finds a way of dealing with her small-town misery after she discovers a roller derby league in nearby Austin.”

Seriously, nothing screams girl power like this movie. Frankly I’d like to call it one of the best feminist movies out there. I love everything about it. The scenography, the soundtrack, the cast, the message - simply flawless. One of few movies that I can watch over and over again and never get tired of.

The To Do List (2013) dir. Maggie Carey

“Feeling pressured to become more sexually experienced before she goes to college, Brandy Klark makes a list of things to accomplish before hitting campus in the fall.”

Oh, Aubrey Plaza. Another amazing performance. It’s like the role she’s playing (Brandy Klark) was made just for her. I think this is a super funny and charming teenage movie. Yes, it is a movie about virginity, but what I like about it so much is that Brandy Klark chooses to loose her virginity to this guy that neither know her nor love her - and that challenges the idea that a girl has to ‘save it’ for the right one.

Submarine (2010) dir. Richard Ayoade

“15-year-old Oliver Tate has two objectives: To lose his virginity before his next birthday, and to extinguish the flame between his mother and an ex-lover who has resurfaced in her life.”

Okay, I know what you think. Another virginity movie. Bur damn the scenography in this is spectacular. Some might think the director tried too hard to make it stand out (let’s be honest, no real people are like Oliver and Jordana), but I’m in love with it. Teenage anxiety, growing up, falling in love, dealing with your awkward parents and yeah, losing your virginity - that’s how I’d like to summarize it. It’s a quirky indie movie, you either hate it or love it.

Her (2013) dir. Spike Jonze

“A lonely writer develops an unlikely relationship with his newly purchased operating system that’s designed to meet his every need.”

Wow. This is one of the best movies I’ve ever seen. That’s all I can say. Watch it if you haven’t already.

Blue Is The Warmest Color/La vie d'Adèle (2013) dir. Abdellatif Kechiche

“Adele’s life is changed when she meets Emma, a young woman with blue hair, who will allow her to discover desire, to assert herself as a woman and as an adult. In front of others, Adele grows, seeks herself, loses herself and ultimately finds herself through love and loss.”

Probably the best romantic movie that’s not about a hetero couple. Some think it’s a movie for lesbians, but gee, no. Anyone can watch this. This one is far better than all the stereotypical-heteronormative-love-tringle movies out there (in my opinion). Adele’s and Emma’s romance is based on lust to the most extent, but that doesn’t make it any less heart-breaking. I cried my heart out to this one.

Donnie Darko (2001) dir. Richard Kelly

“A troubled teenager is plagued by visions of a large bunny rabbit that manipulates him to commit a series of crimes, after narrowly escaping a bizarre accident.”

Honestly, I didn’t understand at all what was going on in this movie until I read an explanation. But after I did that, I realized what I just had seen. The plot is kinda complex and hard to understand, but it really is a masterpiece of a movie. 

Might make another list like this some other time, I hope you enjoyed it!

I want to add, having said all that, I would never believe that it is not possible that coming right around the corner is the man of my dreams, at 68 years old. It’s possible, and I accept the possibility of that completely.
Because after everything we’ve talked about, if we can honestly say that love never dies, if my heart can still flutter when I see my boyfriend from when I was 15 and a half, I cannot honestly say that there is no chance for real love in my life somewhere in the next 15 or 20 years. Because I believe that there’s always that possibility. I never want people to think that I’m some cold woman who thinks that love may have existed all those years ago when I was younger, but doesn’t exist in my dreams now, because it does exist in my dreams now. But I’m also really good not having it because I’m not lonely, I’m not bored. I have so much to do that I can hardly get three hours of sleep.
—  Stevie Nicks to Lana Del Rey, 2017. Read the full interview here.
TAKARAZUKA Goods Sale

Hi guys :)
It’s been forever, I know. I had some mental health issues and I’m still searching for a job so I wasn’t really feeling too well. 
Now I decided to take a new step and do a Working Holiday in Japan for which I need to save some money so I decided to sell some of my Takarazuka stuff.

All items are in perfect condition.
The calendars are still in the original packaging, the DVDs have only been watched once and the books I’ve only looked through once or twice.

If you would like any of these items, message me here or better via Email at mpoller612@gmail.com

Shipping is worldwide. Payment via PayPal. 

If you’re not interested in any of the goods I would still appreciate it if you could reblog the post to reach more people. Since I lost touch with the fandom too…


Elisabeth Takarazuka Mook II 2007 - 15€

Daiundoukai 2014 Takarazuka Mook - 15€

(More under the cut)

Keep reading

Ace blogs questionare

Tumblr URL: asexualsuccubus
Sexual/romantic orientation:
Age group? (13-17, 18-25, 25-39, 40+): 22 (18-25)
How long have you identified as Ace spec? Since 2010, I discovered it when I was around 15/16 I think?
Favorite color: dandelion yellow
Favorite food(You may not say cake. We all love it, okay?): banana ice cream
Biggest pet peeve?: people not understanding asexuality
Hobbies: cosplay, singing, cooking, doodles, roleplay
Favorite movies/tv shows: American gods, Valley of the dolls
Favorite genera of music? Sub genres of punk, and pop
Favorite artists?: greenday, marina diamandis, Melanie Martinez, Amanda palmer, the frights
Who do you consider your role model?: loaded question I have self image issues but ultimately it’s my goal to one day make myself somebody that can be a good role model and activist
What is your hidden talent?: puns and classical singing
Best/favorite pick up line?: you’re cute!-ohMygodimsorryihavetogonow….
Who would you want to be marooned on an island with?: Neil Gaiman or somebody with actual survival skills
Chocolate or fruity candies?: frooty!
Name (optional): you can call me gigi!
Country/state/region (optional): Illinois USA Chicago area

npr.org
As A White Mom, Helping My Multiracial Kids Feel At Home In Their Skin
As more families resemble my own, more parents are going to have to figure out how to talk to their kids about what it means to be mixed race. Here are a few things I've learned.

Last year, after months of watching — and re-watching — the movie Frozen, my daughter Selma, who is 6, announced she didn’t want to be brown. “I wish my skin was white,” she told me one day in our living room, where we were hanging out after school.

I knew she idolized the film’s alabaster-skinned heroines, and it made my heart ache. Our daughters started picking up on the differences in our family’s skin color at a very young age — I’m a white-skinned woman raised in the South, my husband, Jason, is part-white, part-American Indian, with medium-brown skin, and, depending on the season, both of our girls look more brown than white. There’s research showing that children can recognize differences in race as early as infancy, and can develop racial biases as early as 3.

Knowing all this, we’ve tried to raise our daughters to be comfortable in their skin, making sure they’re in schools with other black and brown children, searching out books and movies with black and brown main characters. I had even tried, unsuccessfully, to steer her away from the snowy princesses.

But our attempts clearly weren’t foolproof. “You’re beautiful the way you are,” I told Selma, stroking her long hair and trying to mask my sadness. “I love your brown skin.” She wasn’t convinced. “I wish it was like yours,” she told me.

As more families resemble my own, more parents will have to figure out how to talk to their kids about being mixed-race. The Pew Research Center found that in 2010, about 15 percent of new marriages in the U.S. were mixed, up from about 7 percent 30 years earlier. Multiracial children are the fastest-growing group of children in the country. Between 2000 and 2010, the population of children like mine — a mix of two or more races — increased almost 50 percent. By 2022, the number of multiracial students in American elementary schools is expected to have grown 44 percent.

At the girls’ schools, on the playground, at the swimming pool, I notice people scanning my multicolor family, and I don’t think it’s a stretch to assume they’re trying to figure out what’s going on: Who belongs to whom? How are these people related? From a young age, we want to help our daughters feel at home in a world that’s still getting used to kids who look like them.

Jason and I met 15 years ago in San Francisco, where being an interracial couple felt to us like a total non-issue. Our young family moved to my home state of Virginia in 2010 to be closer to relatives, and, for the first time, I worried about how we would be received. Virginia is home to the landmark Supreme Court decision Loving v. Virginia, which overthrew laws prohibiting interracial marriage. The case was brought by a married couple — Mildred Loving, a part-American Indian, part-black woman, and Richard Loving, a white man — after they were awakened in the middle of the night in 1958 and arrested for violating an anti-miscegenation statute in place in Virginia at the time. That was decades ago, but I still worried how we would be welcomed in Richmond, where racial segregation remains severe and Confederate statues line the streets near our home.

One day, a white boy who attends school with my daughters ran laps with us during before-school running club. “Is that your daughter?” he asked. I said of course she was. “But she looks nothing like you,” he replied. “That’s the funny thing about genetics!” I said, trying to keep it light. “She looks just like her father.”

Selma was listening to every word, wide-eyed, keeping pace with us. In these conversations with strangers, I find I’m really talking to my daughters; what I say could end up being what they say in situations where they’re on their own, and I want to equip them well. The boy needed a little more convincing, but he eventually seemed satisfied and left to run with other kids. Selma never mentioned it again, but I know these interactions stick in my daughters’ minds.

The night Selma announced her Frozen wish, I shared it with my husband. I could see he was bothered by her words but also unsurprised. “She’ll have to come to this on her own,” he told me, but he promised to talk to her about it. Tucking her in that night, he told her that her brown skin was something to be proud of and that it made her special. She nodded and kissed him goodnight, but we’ve been trying to come up with everyday ways to give Selma more positive messages about her skin color. I started referring to her as Jason’s “twinsie” to make her feel connected to him — and his dark skin color — and she embraced the nickname. Just last week, she requested a Barbie for her birthday, and we bought her a brown-skinned, brunette one, as well as a Doc McStuffins doll set, which features a black female doctor.

Lately, both girls seem to be developing a more complex vocabulary for skin color — their own, and everyone else’s too. Just the other day, Selma informed me that I am a blend of peach and white, while she’s a blend of brown and white, explaining that that’s why she is “light brown.” Amaya, who’s 7, currently calls herself “tan,” while labeling her sister “brown.” Sometimes they want us all to put our arms next to each other poolside to see who is darkest and who is lightest. When the girls talk about this with each other, I typically listen without commenting. As much as our daughters need messages from Jason and me, they also need to consider this on their own.

I’m sure this is just the beginning of their exploration of race. Some parts will be under their control. Whether their skin color becomes a key part of how they understand their own identities and personalities, that’s their decision. How they refer to themselves — mixed, multiracial, American Indian, part-white, or some other term — is also their decision. But we also know people will put their own perceptions of identity on our girls, and we want them to have plenty of practice having these conversations without fear or embarrassment.

In the meantime, it’s about small signs. I’ve noticed that Selma’s obsession with the Frozen princesses seems to be on the way out, and I’ve decided to take that as a good omen.

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