14 days of things happening


Since three years Carl and you are a couple and it has been the best time you ever had.
Apocalypse or not.
Of course at the beginning it was difficult.
Difficult because of Rick, he didn’t trust you and thought that you would spy for your father Negan.
Difficult when you brought Carl to the factory, but after some harsh words of your dad the Saviors were nearly friendly to him.
“Hey, you with me?” Carl whispers, kissing the spot behind your ear.
“Yeah. No.” You mumble and he laughs.
“So-” But before you can finish your sentence you run to the toilet and you’ve to throw up. You can feel Carl’s hand, keeping your hair.
“Hey, is she okay?” Michonne asks Carl and he sighs.
“I don’t know. It’s the third time this week.”
“That sucks. Do you use condoms?” Carl’s grip on your hair gets stronger and you let out a small whimper in pain. Immediately he lets loose.
“Yes.” He says but you both know that this was a lie.

Since this day 14 years have passed.
A lot of things happened during this time.
Your dad was so pissed off about the pregnancy that you had to live in Alexandria for a few weeks.
Rick was so pissed off about your dad that he drove to the factory and screamed at him for 15 minutes.
After this your dad came to you, telling you that he’s afraid to lose his little girl to Rick’s group, but you told him that he will be always your dad and you’re not leaving him alone.
In the end your fathers were more excited about the pregnancy than you.
6 month later Carl and you became parents of a wonderful daughter. She looked exactly like Carl just with your father’s eyes.
She was the best what could happen to you.
And someone took her away from you.
From Carl, her father.
From Rick and Negan, her grandfathers.
From everyone.
You kneel in front of her grave, screaming, crying, not understanding that someone could kill someone so innocent.
“Come, we go.” Carl whispers to you, but you shake your head.
“No, I can’t leave her alone. It’s all my fault.” Carl wraps his arms around you.
“No, it’s not.”

Negan knew from the beginning that the new group is unscrupulously. But he never thought that they would kill a little girl.
His little girl. The best thing that happened to him next to his daughter.
He wants revenge and as he looks to Rick he sees that he wants the same.
“I’m so sorry, princess. But Carl is right, it’s not your fault.” He hugs her, holding her while she cries.
He wants to cry too, but there will be later time for it. At first they need to die, each of them.
Negan looks at Carl who brings his daughter away and his heart breaks a little bit more.
“You good?” Rick asks and he looks at him.
“I want them dead, Rick. I will fucking tortue the shit out of this motherfucker.” Negan hisses and Rick nods.
“Not only you.”

Negan walks next to Rick through the woods, trying not to make a noise. He recruited all Saviors and Rick asked for help from the Hiltop colony.
“Almost there.” Rick whispers.
The group lives in an old office building and it will not be easy to sneak in unnoticed. The plan is that one part storms the building from behind and the other part from the front.
“You two are ready?” Daryl asks and with a nod from Negan and Rick they run into the building, killing anything that moves.
A few of his own men fall on the floor, but Negan doesn’t care.
Not now.
Floor by floor they shoot, looking for the man who killed their granddaughter. From a hostage he took one week ago Negan knew that this fucker is in an office on the top floor.
“Last floor.” Rick says, looking at the body of a young man.
“Yeah, finally we can take revenge on this motherfucker.” Negan hisses.
“Oh Negan, that’s not very friendly. I never had sex with my mother.” There he is, holding his hands in the air with a smirk on his face.
“Piece of sh-” Before Negan has the chance to attack him Rick stops him.
“Tell us why before we kill you.” Rick growls.
“I don’t like you.” He simply says and this time Rick doesn’t stop Negan.
Negan punshes him. Again and again until his head is a bloody mess.
“Kill him.” Negan says, heavy breathing.
Rick shoots the man.
One, two,…five times with a scream.
And then it was over, but none of them feels better. ~~~~ Part 2 of ‘Imagine you’re Negan’s daughter and falling in love with Carl.’

The clock has just ticked over and I’m now 35. Earlier today (yesterday now I guess) I remembered a shitty thing that happened 14 years ago the day after my birthday and for the subsequent two years of my life. I left my parent’s house the day after my 21st birthday and didn’t talk to them for 6 months after arguing with my mother over my choice in friends (“weird” lesbians, bisexual boyfriend, blah blah). I left and ended up in the most fucked up situation in my life, a waking nightmare.

I blocked out a lot of that time and every now and then it comes back to me and I feel dread and shame. But I am in my mid 30s now. I made it. I always longed to be here. I had a sneaking suspicion that if I could survive myself I might find contentment and stability but I had to work so hard for this. I met an amazing person in Nick who helped me create a life to find joy in.

My psychiatrist tells me I need to embrace my narrative. So this is me trying to do that. Cheers, Natalie.