If you are listening to this at the 17th of October, then I know everything I told Anna has gone to plan. It means this message, the first to be heard and the last to be recorded, is given to you. By the time this draws to a stop, every person who comes up to this pedestal and presses play will hear a different recording. It will never be this. This is for you.
Dean, I think this is truly it.
I can see everything dwindle into smallness. I can feel a pull on my wrist, and there is a whisper of something forthcoming that is suspended overhead. I know what is about to come, so I watch you softly as you sleep instead, counting the rise and fall of your chest in my mind.
I stopped counting at 201.
Dean, to look at you is to look at all I will lose and all I will leave behind, and I am agonized by the thought. When I die, I am to be cheated of you. You have made me want lazy, fruitless Sundays. You’ve made me want sand underneath my feet and the ocean surrounding my knees. You’ve made me want things so much that I feel selfish; a sick little boy who has accepted the end of his story, but still bargaining for more time. Kubler-Ross must be spinning in his grave.
I miss you terribly already, and I am still here.
I want to say your name over and over again so I can carry it over to wherever I’m going in the afterlife. If I am to cross the river Styx, I’ll whisper your name and the ferryman will take it, for it is worth all the gold in the world. I will leave this world a selfish man, for I will keep within myself all the pieces of you my dying heart could hold. I feel like there is so much I must tell you, yet I could not find my way out of the woods.
So, to my first love, and my last, Dean Winchester.
(Dean closes his eyes and presses a hand against his lips.)
These are the things I want to tell you.
The human body is 60% water.
The number of neurons in one person is the rough equivalent of the number of stars in a small galaxy.
There is 0.2 milligrams of gold in your blood, the heart is an elaborate engine—
I love you.
(Dean breathes out.)
And to the person who you will love in the future;
Love him infinitely more than I was able to.
5hr 55min 59sec
This writing is not mine. just my voice. yeah. ;w; (also sorry for the bad quality i did this on my phone)
I hope that the whole bracelet that counts down until you meet your soulmate thing isn’t way too overused, but I hope you enjoy!
Dean Winchester’s bracelet had read -m.-d.-hr.-min.-sec. for as long as he could remember. After many trips to doctors and professionals, Dean was told it would be far too expensive for a family of his class (a.k.a; poor and usually broke) to get his bracelet fixed.
Dean was quick to except the fact that he was, indeed, broken.
He’d never find his ‘soul mate’ and would never settle down with the love of his life. After his father passed (alcohol poisoning… no surprise there), Dean had made the silent decision that he’d move in with his brother, Sam, find a job, and live his pitiful existence like that until he passed away in a fate probably similar to his father.
Dean had no plans to have a fulfilled life. He just wanted to get it over with.
That was, until one day his timer started to work.
It was no surprise that Sam had married before Dean. He met his soulmate at college, a sweet pretty girl named Jessica. They found a small city house and had invited Dean to live with them. Considering Dean had spent his life since high school in shitty apartments that he could barley afford, he was forced to take up the offer. He knew this was the way it was going to go anyways, right?
It had been a miracle that Dean found a job. With his little college experience and sloppy resume, Dean was eventually able to get a job offer at an elementary school. Sure it was as the repair guy/janitor, but it was better than nothing.
His forest green bracelet flashed the digits 0m.0d.1hr.47min.22sec the morning of his first day of work.
At first he hadn’t even noticed. The stupid green bracelet wired in his wrist was just another reminder of his useless life, so it was usually ignored as much as possible. Dean saw the change when he was brushing his teeth. He nearly dropped his toothbrush when he realized that yes those were not just dashes but real numbers. He swelled with excitement, a smile creeping onto his lips for the first time in ages. For the first time, there was hope.
Unless, this was some kind of sick joke or the bracelet just malfunctioned and…
No. This was another chance, another start. Not another joke. The bracelets never were wrong. /“Except for yours…”/ Dean couldn’t stop himself from thinking.
Dean did his best to look collected when he waltzed into the kitchen. He had already been wearing his best for whole the first day gig, as in putting on a clean shirt and his best pair of jeans. With now having even more of reason to put effort into how he looked, Dean even styled his hair.
His unusual joy did not go unnoticed by his brother nor his wife.
“You excited for you job, Dean?” Sam asked as Dean grabbed his coffee mug out of the cupboard, sliding it under the nozzle of the coffee machine and waiting as the thick liquid dripped into the cup.
“Yup.” Dean answered, giving his brother a cocky grin.
Sam raised an eyebrow. “And, uh, anything else?”
His cup filled and Dean removed it from the machine, taking a sip from his beverage. “Oh, nothing much.” He shrugged before breaking his false calm exterior. “My bracelet’s working, Sam.”
First Sam looked doubtful, Jess even looked up from her papers she had been scribbling on to cock up an eyebrow. When they both realized Dean was being serious, they joined him in celebration.
“That’s great, Dean!” Sam beamed, standing up to strangle his brother in a hug.
“So what does it say now, Dean?” Jess asked after the excitement died down.
Dean lifted his wrist and read off the digits. “0m.0d.0hr.25min.12sec… Shit I better get going.” He scrambled away from the kitchen counter and rushed to get his jacket, shrugging it on before peaking his head back into the kitchen. “Wish me luck!”
His family gave their blessings and Dean was out the door.
He waited anxiously at the bus stop, nervously surveying anyone that walked up to the stop. Could they be it? Could they? No, they don’t look excited enough. Not them. Not- His line of thought was interrupted when the bus pulled up, its doors opening like the gates to Heaven itself. Dean shoved his way into the bus, flashing his card to the driver before searching to find a seat.
His bracelet now read 11 minutes.
Dean found a seat in the far back so he could take note of the other people on the bus, seeing if any of them were the ones destined to put up with him for the rest of their lives. Searching to see if anyone looked nearly as nervous as he felt. Mostly there was just a bunch of elderly people lounging near the front, staring steadily at some point in the distance. No, none of these people were worthy suspects. It wasn’t until a blond woman with bouncy curls and green eyes jumped into the bus that Dean felt his pulse speed up.
She was a near copy of what Dean had been; Eyes searching everywhere and everyone, an unerasable smile dancing on her lips. Every few seconds, her eyes would dart down to her bracelet. Dean sat up a little straighter, maintaining the excitement that was boiling up inside him. His heart dropped a little when she sat down in an empty seat about three rows in front of him. He glanced back down at his bracelet.
Maybe she’d talk to him when they get off the bus? Yes, that had to be it.
His heart raced back to the speeding pace it had been before when the blond woman sprung up out of her seat at the same stop Dean was getting off at. She ran out of the bus, and Dean followed at a similar pace. The gears in his mind were working overtime, planning out exactly what he would say and when. By the time he jumped out of the bus and the doors closed behind him, his wrist read 5 seconds.
The woman from the bus was not hard to find, she paced around a bit, bouncing slightly on her heels. Dean slicked back his hair with his hand and walked forward.
Now he was behind her, reaching a hand out to place on her shoulder.
And that was the moment the blond woman let out a shrill sound of excitement, running forward and flinging herself into the arms of a man with long ashy brown hair.
Dean froze, the bracelet now flashing back to the painfully usual -m.-hr.-min.-sec. It wasn’t even at 0s, like it usually turned when you found your soulmate,
Of course. Of course this would happen! It was his life. Everything was either a sick joke or a false hope. His heart dropped down to his stomach after the women pecked a kiss onto the man’s cheek.
Maybe he should cry. Or turn away. But Dean just felt numb. He must have looked ridiculous, just standing there in a comatose state. The world that had seemed so colorful that morning when he woke up now splashed back to the usual shades of grey. Dean knew he should go. He should move and get going before he was late to his first day of work, but he couldn’t bring himself to pick up his feet.
The numb feeling shattered when a large mass ran into him, knocking Dean onto the sidewalk pavement. “Oh my god, I’m sorry!” A deep voice sounded above him.
“It’s okay.” Dean muttered under his breath, preparing himself to stand back up until a hand shot up.
“Here, let me help you.”
Before Dean took the hand, he noticed the blue wristband screwed into the man’s wrist.
The digits were at -m.-d.-h.-min.-sec.
Just like Dean’s.
A flicker of hope, of belonging, shot through Dean as he took the stranger’s hand, allowing him to help him up off the ground. After Dean brushed off his pants, he shot back out his hand for the man to shake. “I, uh, I’m Dean Winchester.”
Blue eyes blinked back at him and a hand took Dean’s once move, shaking it firmly. “Castiel Novak. Sorry for inconveniencing you.”
“Oh no, you weren’t-” Dean stopped himself, eyes grazing over the man, Castiel. He was just a few inches shorter than him and had a shadow of a stubble on his face. When he spoke, the skin under his bright eyes crinkled only slightly. Once their hands dropped back to their sides, Castiel ran a hand through his thick dark hair.
Dean hadn’t even noticed that his own hand was rubbing the back of his neck. “I, uh, noticed your bracelet.”
Castiel’s face immediately grew more protected, his posture fixing itself. “It’s always been like that. The doctor’s can’t fix it. It’s just a processing error.”
“Oh, I know. Trust me.” Dean hesitated before showing Castiel his own wrist. “I thought I was the only one.”
Castiel gazed in wonder at his bracelet, taking a step forward to examine it further. When he blinked back up at Dean, he flashed a smile. “So did I.”
“I guess we can be processing errors together.” Dean joked. “So where you going, Castiel?”
“Oh, the elementary school. I’m a teacher there.”
“No shit.” Dean’s smile widened. “I’m the new janitor there!”
Castiel now shared Dean’s beaming smile. “Well, I guess now I have an excuse to walk with you.”
“I would have let you walk with me anyways.” They started at a decent pace, Dean teasing before their journey to the school, “You can’t get rid of me now, Castiel.”
The teacher answered with a playful smile.