12 Steps Programs
12 Step Programs for Sex and Sex Addiction to beware for:
- SAA - Sex Addicts Anonymous
- SIA - Survivors of Incest Anonymous
- COSA - Codependents of Sex Addicts
- COSLAA - CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous
- S-Anon - Spouses and family members of sexaholics
- SA - Sexaholics Anonymous
- SCA - Sexual Compulsives Anonymous
- SLAA - Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
- SWA - Sex Workers Anonymous
- SISA - Sex Industry Survivors
The Twelve Steps | A small study and analysis
Below are the 12 Steps in their entirety, as originally published by Alcoholics Anonymous, the original 12 Step program. But each 12 Step group modifies the words “alcohol and / or alcoholic” to suit its specific purpose.
Also the term “God” can be understood as any “Higher Power” including the power of the group itself. It is left open to interpretation for the victim.
Step 1 - We admitted we were powerless over alcohol [this word changes, according to program] —that our lives had become unmanageable.
[ This is not entirely a bad thing, but when an abuser partakes in this behavior and decides they are powerless to their necessity and desire to bring harm to a victim, they will scorn and berate the victim for being affected by it. It commonly ends in more violence for the victim and oftentimes enabling of the abuse. ]
Step 2 - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
[ This is simply downright extremely ableist. You have not lost your sanity, you are mentally ill and there is quite a difference between “losing your sanity” and being ill. Normally you’d think that one seeks help or tries to work into living with harmony with their mental illness, but in this case they leave these symptoms and issues to an unidentified “higher power”, this can make things worse. Of course it works for some, but this is not a good way to look into life and trauma and it’s harmful and ableist. ]
Step 3 - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
[ Understood what? Turn our physical, emotional and safety will over to a higher power that has no power over the life of a person? Please make sense. Again this isn’t exactly bad, and in fact I think this is one of the most dangerous step, you’re turning your will toward a religious figure instead of willing Yourself FOR yourself. ]
Step 4 - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
[ This isn’t sane. This is simply not sane, this can give place for extreme levels of victim blaming and ableism. Your moral inventory is, to beging with, irrelevant to your trauma and your neurodivergence as a result of it, and seeking a moral ground in a psychology exclusive field is toxic and harmful. ]
Step 5 - Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
[ What wrongs?! This is outright blatant victim blaming, in all cases of victimization this is not the victim’s fault and the victim has done no wrong, abusers can use this against the victims and it enables abusive verbal speech against the victims. “You did wrongs too!” basically is a weapon for abusers to berate a victim into submission. ]
Step 6 - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
[ So basically goodbye personality and mental illness that are going to be – Oh wait more abusive language. Yes, as a matter of fact this is abusive behavior. UNLESS we’re talking about things like “I throw garbage on the side of the road” or “I yelled at the person at starbucks”, victims should not be held to abuse perpretator standards. ]
Step 7 - Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
[ Exactly what was the shortcoming? As victims we shouldn’t have to be treated as if we did anything wrong, if you went soccer mom on someone, apologize yes, yes if you did something wrong you should be held in contempt and apologize as soon as you take responsibility for it. But this is a group for people who have suffered any kind of sexual, physical or emotional violence. This does not apply for them. ]
Step 8 - Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
[ Again: This does not apply to victims and is downright ableist. ]
Step 9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
[ See above. ]
Step 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
[ Okay for a change this is actually a good thing, yes acknowledge your wrongs and take responsibility for them, but as the victim you should not be held under these standards, the abuser should. ]
Step 11 - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His Will for us and the power to carry that out.
[ This works for people who practice I guess, I am not religious and therefore have no opinion. ]
Step 12 - Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics [this word changes, according to program], and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
[ jesus christ. ]
NOTE: For me, one of the things that truly sets 12 Step Programs apart is the set of principals by which they run.
These are called the 12 Traditions and are unique to such organizations.
Conclusion: In the case a support group for victims at least come up with your own standards and steps, instead these people are using the same stuff as in AA (Alcoholic Anonymous) which makes it seem as if the victim is in the wrong and it is extremely harmful. If you need help PLEASE seek professional help and avoid these groups.