11 Funniest Moments:
↳ 8. Tommy Knows How To Cook (3rd Rock From The Sun)
Tommy: Hey guys, what’s going on?
Dick: Why don’t you tell us what’s going on?
Tommy: What do you mean?
[Dick holds up two plastic bags]
Tommy: Where’d you find those?
Dick: In your sock drawer.
Sally: How could you?
Harry: After all we’ve done for you.
Tommy: Okay, it’s not what you think.
Dick: It’s exactly what I think! It’s oregano and fresh rosemary!
Sally: I don’t believe it!
Dick: You can cook!
Tommy: No! No! I can’t cook, I swear!
Dick: Then how do you explain this?
Tommy: It’s uh…it’s marijuana!
Dick: This whole time we’ve been eating her slop and you’re a damn gourmet!
Tommy: No! No! It’s pot I swear! I smoke it with my friends! I love to toke up on the fat daddies! Uh…dude!
Sally: I blame myself! How could I have missed all the signs! I mean, just last month I was doing the laundry and I found a measuring spoon in his pants.
Dick: He wasn’t lying to just you Sally. At the mall, he said he was going to the comic book store, but I saw him come out of the Williams-Sanoma!
[Harry picks up a vile.]
Harry: Oh Tommy!
[He tastes it.]
Harry: It’s confectioners sugar!
Dick: Confectioners sugar! So you’ve been baking too! Look what your selfishness has done to Sally! Get out of my sight!
Tommy: WHO IN JEHOVAH’S NAME POKED MY SOUFFLE!?!?