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the signs as guy fieri quotes

aries: “holy moly, stromboli!”
taurus: “i’m driving the bus to flavor town.”
gemini: “they make a porchetta you won’t forgetta.”
cancer: “it was a lightning bolt of an idea in flavor town that pranked the unprankable mayor, guy fieri.”
leo: “i could put this on a flip flop and it would taste good.”
virgo: “did you get any tater with that gator?”
libra: “the sauce is money!”
scorpio: “you’re takin’ the gobble full throttle!”
saggitarius: “this place is bananas. and bananas is good.”
capricorn: “love, peace, and taco grease!”
aquarius: “his seafood is so fresh it’ll slap ya.”
pisces: “you don’t have to eat a whole cheeseburger, just take a piece of the cheeseburger.”

  • <p> <b>Someone:</b> I need some volunteers to help lift this heavy object<p/><b>Me, a lazy and weak individual:</b> please don't ask me please don't ask me<p/><b>Someone:</b> I need some big strong men to lift this! You don't have to help.<p/><b>Me, filled with irrational feminist rage:</b> wtf i'll lift that couch up one handed and bench press it<p/></p>