me normally: fuck capitalism.. it’s a rigged system that keeps us poor and subjugated and it isn’t fair… you shouldn’t need to work 3 jobs to afford basic necessities the people at the top couldn’t even spend that money in five lifetimes

me playing monopoly: sorry sweaty if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor :)

I’m running a canned campaign in a sci-fi setting

Totally not-shady NPC: I’ll need you to retrieve my secret cargo from the abandoned spaceship, but it’s very private, so don’t look inside–

Player: Is it a girl in a box?

NPC: …What?

Player: This is a sci-fi story, and there’s a box you don’t want us to look into. There’s only ever one way that ends, and it’s always with a girl stuffed into a box.

Other Player: Hey, we don’t even know how big it is. It could just be a cigar box.

First Player: Okay, you’re right. It could be a bunch of sex toys. How big is the box?

NPC: It’s… uh… six feet long by three feet wide by three feet deep…

First Player: Ugh. Okay, fine. Somebody pack a crowbar and a spare set of women’s clothing. We need to go get this girl out of her box.