Today i would be logging onto tumblr ecstatic to see all the amazing new gifs, edits and ridiculous jokes about the show from the night before. I’d rewatch the preview for the next episode a thousand times looking for clues as to whats in store for us next.
Today I would groan as I restart my weekly mental countdown to next Thursday. I would read theories and join in the speculation of whats in store for all of our favorite characters. Who will pick sides, who will fight whom, and who will finally lose their battle. I would go to bed each night anxious for the next day so I could be just one more day closer to Thursday.
Today i woke up empty. For the first time in a long time I missed the episode. There is no more countdown. No more excitement to log on and begin obsessing over new gifs and jokes. There’s no more witty banter over whether or not Clarke will finally tell Lexa the candles must go. No more watching thos two idiots being so extra around each other and wondering who’s going to be the one to make the next move that makes my heart jump out of my chest with happiness. No more watching these two teenage girls enjoying eachothers presense in this post apocalyptic world where no one cares who loves who. No more feeling connected to the most amazing character I’ve ever had the pleasure of falling in love with.
I lost all of that the day that Lexa died. I lost a part of me.
3/7/16 will forever be the saddest part of television history.