100 people who make life beautiful

100 BRAVE QUESTIONS

1.What’s the toughest decision you made today?

2.What’s the toughest decision you made this year?

3.What’s the toughest decision you ever made?

4.What have you forgotten?

5.What do you want to be when you grow up?

6.What’s it like being you right now?

7.What makes you nostalgic?

8.If you had two hours left on earth what would you do?

9.What’s the most beautiful word in the world?

10.Who makes you laugh more than anyone?

11.What did your father teach you?

12.What did your mother teach you?

13.What’s the best gift you’ve ever given?

14..Best gift you ever received?

15.How many times a day do you look in the mirror?

16.What do you bring most to a friendship?

17.If 100 people in your age group were selected randomly, how many do you think they’d find leading a happier life than you?

18.What is or was your best subject in school?

19What activity do you do that makes you feel most like yourself?20

20.What makes you feel supported?

21. Whom do you secretly admire?

22.What time of the day do you feel the most energetic and what do you usually do in those moments?

23.What’s something you never leave home without?

24.What’s a recurring dream you have?

25.What makes you feel safe?

26.What’s the best thing that ever happened to you?

27.What do you want people to say about you once you’re gone?

28.What’s the coolest thing about science?

29.What’s the best money you ever spent?

30.What’s a bad habit you have?

31.What are you grateful for?

32.Whom are you envious of?

33.What’s an image you’ll never forget?

34.Describe a near-death experience.

35.If you had a clone, what would you have the clone do?

36.What’s your idea of Heaven?

37.What’s your idea Hell?

38.When did you know?

39.What can you do better?

40.When are you most yourself?

41.What superpower would you most like to have?

42.If you were granted three wishes, what would you do with the second wish?

43.What is your actual superpower?

44.If you won 100 million dollars, what would you buy first?

45.What’s the best sound in the world?

46.What’s perfect about your life?

47.What song do you sing only when you’re alone and what memory does it bring back?

48.Describe a moment you were so embarrassed you wanted to disappear.

49.How many times a day do you think about money?

50.Who has been the biggest influence on you in your relationship to money?

51.What’s one thing you’re certain of?

52.Describe one of your colossal failures.

53.What makes you cringe?

54.What does your inner voice tell you?

55.What crime have you considered committing?

56.What’s great about your mom?

57.What’s great about your dad?

59.Which day would you gladly re-live?

60.What are you awesome at?

61.What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you?

62.When were you most afraid?

63.What are you terrible at but love to do anyway?

64.What weapon would you carry during the Zombie Apocalypse?

65.Which of your five senses would you keep if you could only keep one?

66.What’s something you love to make?

67.What do you cook better than anyone?

68.What do you wish you’d invented?

69.What would you like to invent?

70.Out of 100 random people, where would you rank yourself in terms of your intelligence?

71.Where do you want to be right now?

72.If you could be someone else for a day who would it be and why?

73.What makes you feel powerful?

74.What’s the meanest thing you’ve ever said?

75.What’s the meanest thing someone has ever said to you?

76.What three words would you have on your grave stone?

77.What’s your first thought when you wake up?

78.What’s one thing you wake up to in the middle of the night worrying about?

79.If you could tell someone something anonymously, what would it be?

80.Whom would you like to forgive and forget?

81.If you could get rid of one of your responsibilities today, what would it be?

82.What type of person angers you the most?

83.What is your greatest strength?

84.What is your worst weakness?

85.How do you show your love for others?

86.Why are you here in this room right now?

87.When is a time you forgave someone or were forgiven for something?

88.What’s the biggest mistake you ever made?

89.What are you hiding?

90.What’s your unanswerable question–the question you seem to always be asking yourself?

91.What are you ashamed of?

92.What is stopping you?

93.What’s a secret you have?

94.How do you secretly manipulate people to get your way?

95.When was the last time you apologized?

96.What is the biggest lie you tell yourself?

97.What’s the moment you left childhood behind?

98.What’s missing from your life?

99.Do you believe in a higher power?

100.What are you ready to let go of?

What are you not saying right now?

anonymous asked:

How can i build self confidence

Hi there lovely,

I have some awesome tips for you and some links :)

Steps to improve self Confidence:

  1. Focus on your strengths – figure out what you are good at! There are plenty of things that you are wonderful at and use those to build your confidence! No one is good at everything so do not fret if you are bad at something! Instead focus on what you are good at and enjoy them!
  2. Learn from your mistakes - you don’t have to be good at everything like mentioned above but use your mistakes to your advantage! Don’t worry about them- live and learn!
  3. Do what you love – make time everyday to do something you enjoy! Do something that makes you happy to improve your mood!
  4. Tell yourself you are beautiful - stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you are ! Keep telling yourself and fake it until you make it! Really mean what you are saying a realize all of the beautiful things about you - including any flaws ( they make you unique!)
  5. Turn your negative thoughts into positive ones – instead of thinking your legs are big or whatever your problem is, be thankful you have working legs that you can run marathons with if you wanted! Try to stay optimistic and see the positive side of everything! It will greatly improve your mood and outlook on life!
  6. Realize that beauty has no measure on your life. Okay even if someone is not beautiful that has no relevance to one’s life ! Everyone has worth and is amazing! I am sure you are the prettiest person ever but even if you are not then who really cares? What does it really matter? All that matters is that you are happy and love your life- and that should not be dependent upon whether or not you are pretty.
  7. Weight has no relevance to beauty! Whether you are 100 or 300 pounds you can be beautiful! Please do not relate the two to one another! See this post (:
  8. Spend time with people you love and who love you! It is important to spend time with loved ones! They will boost your mood and confidence! If people have a negative impact on your life then you don’t have to spend time with them! Don’t feel like you must stick around for everyone! You have to put yourself first and make sure you are happy! Don’t let others drag you down!
  9. Remember that life is simple - the sun rises and the sun sets, we just tend to complicate the process. Remember the simplicity in life and let it help you to stay calm and stay focused on the important things! Love yourself and love your life! Enjoy it while you can and don’t let everything stress you out so much!
  10. Be generous! Help others, be kind to others, and give when you can. It will spread love and make you feel better as a person.

Now, lets work on changing your thought process. Changing the way you think about things for example, when you have negative thoughts. Try these thoughts instead:

  • I am ugly - I am beautiful
  • I am worthless - I have worth
  • I am sick - I will heal
  • I hate myself - I will learn to love myself
  • I am weak - I am strong, or I wouldn’t be here today
  • I am moody - I have profound emotional depth
  • I am lost - I will find myself
  • I am scared - I have courage
  • I am crazy - It is normal to struggle
  • I am in pain - It’s okay to hurt
  • I am tired - I will not give up
  • I’m not good enough - I am better than “good enough”
  • I can’t change - I can change

Tips to help end self loathing:

  • Talk to yourself the way you talk to someone you care about: “What would you say to good friend who was going through the same thing you are going through?” These are important questions. If you hate yourself, you likely say things to yourself that you would not dare say to another person. What would you say to somebody else who has the exact same traits as you? What could you say to yourself?
  • Recognize that beliefs do not equal truths: Often, people believe what they tell themselves. If you think you are a loser, you may believe it is absolute truth. Try this cognitive behavioral technique called “the three C’s”: catch, check, change. Catch yourself thinking something negative about yourself. Check whether your distressing thought is true. Change it, if not. You can talk back to your negative thoughts. Challenge them. Serve as a defense attorney to the prosecutor in your head.
  • Embrace the concept of “good enough”: Many people feel they should be perfect—never angry, always generous, never critical, always right, and so on. These expectations deny that imperfection is the human condition. If you are one of these people with too-high expectations for yourself, ask yourself what is good enough?
  • Consider turning to spirituality or religion: Many spiritual or religious traditions center on the belief that people are flawed but inherently good, not only lovable but also inherently loved. These beliefs can serve as a huge balm for the hurting soul. The practices of meditation and mindfulness, too, can foster feelings of self-compassion as well as loving kindness toward others.
  • If you hate yourself for mistakes you made, make amends: You may be reading this and thinking, “This does not apply to me. I did something so awful that I can never be forgiven.” First, as much as you condemn yourself, ask if you would equally condemn—to their face—someone else who did the same thing. If not, then you are being unfair to yourself. Perhaps you really did do something awful. If you cannot make amends to the person or people you harmed, do something good for somebody else. Beating up on yourself serves nobody. Doing good for others or taking part in a larger movement not only helps others, it helps you—and it can lead to self-forgiveness.

Helpful Links:

Self confidence links:

Hope this helps! <3

QINGMING!!!

After all the hard work, it’s finally almost done! Withered Roots! It’s coming out super amazing, and I’m having fun doing all the millions of backgrounds for it XD It’s also great to channel all my love and fascination of China into this short story! It’s taken months of research and drafts, but it was worth it! (Also QingMing was actually on April 4th but I needed more time to make this special soooooooo lol)

Before it’s even posted, I want to thank everyone who’s contributed and helped/is helping me visualize this story! I can't​ express how seriously grateful I am for people who gave their time and talents to make this come to life. It’s just so spectacular. They’re all generous and BEAUTIFUL people! Follow them ALL!!!

FloralConversations / Muddledsketches / Chmoobie / Ask-Nurse-Bloodshot / Ask-Ivylee / Ask-Peachy-Pop / Manny-mg / Ask-the-French-Olive

Take a trip back to Zhong’s childhood home from June 22nd to June 25th!

100 Writing Prompts (Part III)

151. Compare a situation you’ve been in where you’ve behaved in an immature/ irrational manner to what looking back you’d do, setting aside strong emotions.
152. Make a list of flowers.
153. Do you believe the words other people would use to describe you are truly depictions of who you are?
154. Write about the Puerto Rican debt crisis. It could be just a brief analysis, or a more subjective piece.
155. Describe smoke curling in the air.
156. Write about a time in your life you’ve felt excluded.
157. Create a character whose name is Priscilla.
158. Talk about yellow things.
159. Do you think people should feel the need to “come out”?
160. Make a set list of only female artists/ groups.
161. Do you tend to have one best friend or are you a part of a group of best friends?
162. Write about a person in your life who look uncannily like an animal.
163. If you could give a gift to one person with no limitations, what would you give and who would you give it to?
164. Write a book review on a book you read a long time ago.
165. Do you think your society shelters children too much or too little?
167. What are you most worried for in the next week? In the next year?
168. Analyze the saying, “The best is the enemy of the good.”
169. If you had a terminal illness and were given a year to live would you tell those around you?
170. Do you find people who cry too often less genuine?
171. How effective was your high school health class?
172. Describe what makes a home.
173. Talk about your parents marriage/ relationship.
174. Do you ever feel as though you should’ve been born into another era?
175. Do you ever feel as though you should’ve been born into another family?
176. Write a list of things you’d like boys/ men to know.
177. Write a list of things you’d like girls/ women to know.
178. Discuss pornographic images in our society and how they may impact youth or adults.
179. Write a letter to someone who you are at fault for ruining the relationship you had with them.
180. Write an apology letter to yourself.
181. Do you find history interesting or boring to study?
182. Do you know what you want to have in life?
183. Do you long for more or less change in your life?
184. Describe a beautiful person’s face when the are resting versus when they are smiling.
185. When do you experience bought a of lack of motivation.
186. Have you ever felt guilty for having luck you didn’t deserve?
187. Write a list of things you are waiting for.
188. Describe waking up with a stiff neck.
189. Who has made the biggest mess of your life?
190. Are you extroverted or introverted? Do you ever wish you were the opposite of what you tend to be?
191. Write about a philtrum (the tear drop crevasse above your upper lip) in a very descriptive manner.
192. Describe the human body as if the person reading has never seen one.
193. Do you find the typical binary male or female body to be more or less interesting than the other?
194. Look up the year 1894, did anything interesting happen?
195. How do you feel when someone is taking a photo of you?
196. A boy in my friend group was messaged on social media by a (transgender) female. When he was told she was trans the next day by friends he acted disgusted and openly insulted the girl saying he felt “emasculated”. Write a response.
197. Talk about the confederate flag.
198. Do you have an opinion on MTV?
199. Compile a list of words you think more people should know.
200. Look up the definition of sonder and write a response/ analyzation.
201. In the movie The Truman Show, a mm loves his life in a fake reality unknowingly being filmed for a world wide tv program. What if this were to be true for your life?
202. Do you ever feel addicted to sleep?
203. When you were in school, how did you spend your summer vacation?
204. When do you feel unkept or wild?
205. Why are you on tumblr?
206. What defines an abusive relationship?
207. Who has the most control over you in your life?
208. What’s a promise you have made that you know you couldn’t keep?
209. What class has had the biggest impact on your views?
210. Do you smile in pictures?
211. What in this life, gives you the most anxiety?
212. Create a list of dumb things you regret doing that still gives you anxiety today.
213. Who do you do you think humanity owes the most too?
214. Have you listened to the Hamilton soundtrack? What’s your opinion on an urban musical?
215. Make a list of things that make you angry.
216. Define culture.
217. Discuss body hair.
218. Watch the movie In Your Eyes on Netflix and write a reaction.
219. Why do you write?
220. If you were publishing a book and got the dedicate it to someone, who would you choose?
221. Talk about wars of religion (100 Years War in Europe, 6 Days War in Israel, ect.)
222. Do you feel pressure to perform well academically?
223. Should more people become active in politics?
224. Create a list of things you didn’t understand as a child.
225. Have you ever considered writing erotica?
226. What frustrates you the most about writing?
227. Do the people around you influence you more than you influence them?
228. Make a list of beautiful people.
229. What’s the difference between spirituality and organized religion?
230. When in your life do you think you were the most attractive? When were you the happiest?
231. Are you a trustworthy person? When is trust is okay to break?
232. Is it ever okay to purposely ruin/ destroy books? What does the way a person treat books say about them?
233. How do you learn best?
234. Why do we celebrate birthdays?
235. Are you a sentimental person? Explain.
236. Does your country over test its students?
237. Would you rather feel big or small?
238. Write a scene that’s entirely dialogue.
239. What makes an apology sincere?
240. When is the last time you asked someone to hangout/ do something with you?
241. Talk about shows/ movies you saw as a kid/ preteen.
242. Create a character who hates books.
243. Describe the sound of breathing through your nose.
244. John Locke believed everyone was born “tabula rasa” or a “blank slate”. He thought everything we knew we gained from experience or we were taught. Do you agree with this?
245. Have you ever seen a TED X talk? If you had to give one, what would you choose as a topic?
246. Listen to the song Forever by Ben Harper and write a response. Then compare this to his song Walk Away. (Seriously, this one is completely worth doing.)
247. Describe the color purple by making an alliteration with the letter P.
248. Write down the first hundred words that enter your mind, excluding pronouns, conjunctions, and prepositions.
249. Do you think being bilingual/ multilingual is something that interests you?
250. How do you maintain/ control your image on a daily basis?

-cjf

Contest Winners

Hey, friends!

First of all….thank you so much to everyone who has entered. So many amazing entries have graced my ask box, and I had such a hard time choosing. I chose based on what I instantly felt like I could create a steady, “meaty” story around. As for the ones that were not chosen, I would like to keep them in my ask box for when I do have an idea for the prompt! My goal is to eventually fulfill them all, whether through a multi-chapter, or oneshot.

As for this specific contest, here are the winners:

In third place, sent by @bookishempire, is:  Evalin and Rhoe’s love story in Terrassen, being pregnant with Aelin, and Aelin’s childhood in the palace with Aedion filled of cute heart warming stories about them as kids. I will be making a three part series about this beauty, TOG prompt! 

In second place, sent by @highladyfxyre​, who totally is in sync with me and my 80s movie obsession,  Okay I was thinking a nessian dirty dancing au, where Nesta is baby ( 100% will not take shit from anyone but still sweet) and Cassian would be johnny (handsome, sweet, yet people think he’s worthless bc of his history with women and his background) and Mor would be Penny (has been through a lot in life and has come out stronger) bc her and Cassian as dancing partners but not together is great! I LOVE 80s films and your breakfast club fic was amazing!!!. This will also be a three part series (wink, wink)!

In first place, I have combined multiple prompts to make the ultimate fic, with the help and guidance of @throne-of-ashes-and-beauty……

So, drumroll…..

Two of them were sent by @queen-archeron:  for the contest, maybe a feysand au where rhys loses a bet or something and has to take an art class, and ends up in the same class as feyre and he has like 0 painting skills so for a project they have to work together and feyre helps him and ya know they get closer ;)) and  a Nessian AU where Nesta is a nurse or something, and Cassian comes in one day and she takes care of him, and when he leaves he can’t stop thinking about her and then he starts faking sick all the time just to see her and she doesn’t admit it but she likes seeing him, and idk maybe they hang out outside of the doctors and get closer?

The final part when sent by AnonHey! I was wondering if you could maybe write another multi chapter feysand fanfic? I absolutely love your writing and I love anything to do with feysand! I would really like to see a modern au that starts with feyre still dating Tamlin, I would really like to see the abuse, both mental and physical (im honestly surprised that he didn’t escalate to anything super physical in ACOMAF and ACOWAR) I know there was the scene where he threw the table at her, but he never hits her with his own fist  I would also like to see Rhys meeting her and trying to help her get away, but Tamlin doesn’t like him which kinda makes things worse for Feyre, but in the end it turns out good! Overall I’d just love to see a modern au for them and please don’t feel obligated to write this for me, I just thought I’d asks and see if you were up to it or not! Anyway, sorry that was so long and I hope you had a great day!!

I will also be adding Azriel, Elain, and Lucien to this fic. I have already begun outlining, and I must say, I am excited to share this with you! I plan to hit real life issues, and take it to the next level both emotionally, and physically (ayo).

I will release a teaser soon! 

And, as I’ve said, I will keep all other prompts in my ask box and look over them regularly. When I get an idea to fulfill them properly, I will!

Thank you so much to everyone who entered!!!!!!

The 100 Modern Career AU: Lincoln//Artist and Art Gallery Owner

Lincoln has had a passion for art his entire life. Not only making art but also finding other beautiful pieces and recognizing the passionate people who made them. That’s why he poured so much time and effort making his dream a reality. Now he spends his days in his very own gallery, doing what he loves and helping others to do the same. 

(Part 4/??)

What Taylor Taught Me (in each era)

Taylor Swift: 3 chords and the truth can change the world. Your differences are something to be embraced and celebrated. Be kind to everyone you meet, always.

Fearless: Love is complicated, unpredictable, and absolutely magical. Take chances, follow your dreams. Being fearless doesn’t necessarily mean that you aren’t afraid of something. Instead, you might be terrified out of your mind, but you jump anyways.

Speak Now: Bullying and criticism is never easy to go through, but it IS something that you can reach the other side of. When you have a choice between forgiveness and holding a grudge, choose forgiveness. Don’t wait for the perfect moment to say something. Speak NOW, and let your feelings be known.

Red: Heartbreak, like falling in love, never follows a predictable pattern. Let your feelings out when you feel them– it’s okay to not be okay. Your friends and loved ones will always have your back, and will always be the most important people in your life. Take chances, live life on your terms, and make beautiful memories. 

1989: You are not the opinions of those who don’t know you. You are enough. Own every wonderful, weird, quirky part of yourself. Be bold, be brave, and be yourself 100% of the time. Let go of anything and anyone that brings you down, and shake off any negativity. It’s never too late to start over. Walking through lots of rain storms makes you clean.

Reputation: The greatest revenge in the world is massive success. No matter what others say or what has happened in the past, YOU are in charge of your own life story and YOU can decide how it is written and by whom. Take back control, and don’t be afraid to reinvent yourself if you need to. 

Thank you for 8 years of lessons, advice, inspiration, and wonderful memories, @taylorswift. I love you more than you know. P.S. I made this while watching the new video on repeat. <3 

mavecalores  asked:

ok this is my q for tonight, socnet members as characters from six of crows. go

fdsdfghjhgfdfghj ur gonna make me work arent u @sixofcrowsnet

dev = jesper (loves gambling, probably has a low life expectancy)
sage = jesper (the mc’s right-hand man, underrated and undervalued)
lyra = kuwei (nervous a lot and would die for a joke probably)
aşiya = nina (loves food and making everyone nut over her appearance)
annie = kuwei (smol but has ambition and a big destiny, too cool for us tho)
sofia = dunyasha (has zero chill, consistently the Worst™)
lacie = inej (realist, too quiet, probably really flexible)
caspar = matthias (both ghosts)
chessa = kuwei (quiet, pretends to know a lot less than they do, probably)

steph = dunyasha (unnecessarily dramatique™, always so extra, starts shit)
denali = nina (big ego, so beautiful she could kill you and you would thank her)
nahir = kaz (feelings? dk them. also, will drop everything to pet an animal)
hazel = jesper (memes, in the wrong place at the wrong time 100% of the time)
bri = wylan (suddenly, things start going right when they show up)
diana = wylan (certified nerd, that asshole who wakes up early)
ang = kaz (rly needs to Chill Out sometimes, probably has a tragic backstory)
james = nina (loves attention, loves food more than people)

riya = wylan (tuff™, but also a crybaby, doesnt know how to handle life)
meghan = nina (the emotional support, supportive + loving, could kill a man)
merc = nina (just too beautiful. like illegally beautiful)
adiba = inej (rly badass, wants to make a difference in the world)
laura = kaz (will also drop everything to pet an animal)
roh = wylan (too nice for her own good, also loves explosions)

malia = kaz (young but taking ketterdam by storm, quiet but u should be scared)
nia = kuwei (loves drama when they’re not in it, highkey into plants)
sophie = matthias (has good intentions, caught in the crossfire)
poke = wylan (van sunshine)

I’m gonna be completely honest with you, I have never thought there was anything wrong with plastic surgery, nothing @ all and I don’t understand why people do. If someone is unhappy with their appearance, if they want to change and they can afford to, they want to then they should do it. I don’t think people, especially bystanders should have a say on whether or not someone looks better or worst because you’re not them. you are your own individual person with the ability to decide your own life choices, your own morals, your own happiness and it’s wrong to think you can do that for others. It’s kind of silly hearing people call so n so beautiful, but then quickly backtrack saying they’re fake when there are plenty of people that have come out about with their surgeries because they are happy with how they look now. that’s all that matters, that whoever is making a choice to change themselves is happy with who they are n frankly, 100% of the time none of this is ever your business and you should focus on your goals, your happiness, your life n try seeking out what you can do to become a less judgmental person.

anonymous asked:

I don't have any friends. literally none, and its mostly my fault and i hate myself so much. i don't know what to do, i feel so lonely

Hi darling (:

Honey, I’m sure you have at least one friend because I’m your friend and I care about you. You’re not alone. I understand your pain when you feel like nobody is out there. But I’m going to assure & promise you that someone out there in this giant world… Loves & cares about you. <3

I have some tips on how you can make friends plus some links and some advice/links on self esteem and how you can end self loathing.

  • offer help. always offer help to your friend and be there whenever they need you.
  • Don’t stick to one person. Mingle with lots of groups so if a friend turns on you, you can fall back on your other friends.
  • Make sure your friend is comfortable around you. You don’t want to annoy her if she isn’t, so try to look out for signs that she is definitely happy around you.
  • Learn to entertain. Create a reason why people would want to come over to your place. Offer something to people that they don’t already have. While you don’t want a pool or a video game console to be the only reason people come over, it will give you an opportunity to socialize with people and for them to get to know you better.
  • Be reliable and trustworthy. Friends should be able to trust each other, even with personal secrets.
  • You don’t have to be a superstar to be fun. You don’t even have to do cartwheels. You do need to be positive and friendly, however, so that people feel good and appreciated when they’re around you.
  • Let the friendship unfold naturally. Don’t force the friendship, because they won’t be your true friend if you cannot be yourself around them.
  • Encourage your friends to know your family as well so that there will be more chances to stay in touch with one another.
  • Friendship is not about what you can get, rather it is about what you can give.
  • Get to know that person’s other friends. That way you’ll not only be friends to them, but friends with his/her friends too!
  • It’s very important to remind and counsel your friends about the things they should avoid or refrain from. (Try not to be pushy, though.) This will help you convey how special that friend is to you, and will help you be a positive influence in their life.
  • Be honest. Being honest helps them to make them trust you.
  • Don’t talk about yourself all the time. Ask them questions about them and show interest in your friends and their likes.
  • Make yourself approachable.
  • Get around fun, and confident, people.
  • When having difficulty with a friend, never say anything bad about them to anyone else, because that makes the issue worse.
  • Just be yourself. If someone doesn’t like who you really are then they don’t deserve you on their friend list. If someone does sit with you then please don’t move away from them. This is not considered to be polite to the person trying to get to know you.
  • Make sure you keep yourself open to new possibilities. You never know what might be in store for you, if you are open to many possibilities.
  • Ask them about family. Ask them if they have any pets and then tell them how many you have. They’re most likely to ask what kind of pets and what are their names. Pets is a great and easy topic to keep the conversation going without awkward silence.
  • Along with learning to entertain, try to be unique. When you have something interesting that people can learn from you, they tend to stick around and ask you questions. This is usually the case when you know a lot about something popularly known yet complex, something controversial, or something that could just spark a big debate. Some of the most interesting people you meet may have a large knowledge base when it comes to things like politics, certain religions, or unusual topics like astrology and divination.
  • Friendships require a lot of tolerance and it boils down to how much you are willing to give and take.
  • Know that this is not an exact science. There’s no perfect method to getting a friend. It’s a natural process, and if it happens, it happens.
  • Don’t just go up to someone and say ” Lets be friends” it puts the person in an awkward position.
  • Be kind to each other and hang out with other people who make you feel comfortable being yourself.
  • If you have a friend who knows some good people that you aren’t acquainted with, ask them to invite those people to hang out with the two of you. It is a great way to make some friends who have common interests.
  • Being friendly and polite to each other don’t do the nasty thing Make sure don’t being mean to each other.
  • Try to make friends with someone sitting near you or someone who look really lonely. They might really be able to use some help.
  • If there’s someone who you really want to be friends with, try to sit next to them, but not all the time, or they’ll think your weird. Try to find other people to be friends with instead, while sitting with this person other times.
  • Be yourself.
  • Sometimes you should consider the facts that maybe there won’t be people at your school that will understand you the best! Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t find someone at the time, because the perfect person will come along soon. Just remember to give it time.
  • Give your friend space. You don’t have to see your friend 24/7. If you don’t leave your friend, he or she will feel uncomfortable.
  • Don’t be shy and be real. Many people will like you just the way you are.

Helpful links on friends:

How to Make Friends:

I now have some advice for you on how you can raise your self esteem and become more positive and end self loathing. :)

Self Confidence / Self-Esteem:

Steps to improve self esteem:

  1. Focus on your strengths – figure out what you are good at! There are plenty of things that you are wonderful at and use those to build your confidence! No one is good at everything so do not fret if you are bad at something! Instead focus on what you are good at and enjoy them!
  2. Learn from your mistakes - you don’t have to be good at everything like mentioned above but use your mistakes to your advantage! Don’t worry about them- live and learn!
  3. Do what you love – make time everyday to do something you enjoy! Do something that makes you happy to improve your mood!
  4. Tell yourself you are beautiful - stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you are ! Keep telling yourself and fake it until you make it! Really mean what you are saying a realize all of the beautiful things about you - including any flaws ( they make you unique!)
  5. Turn your negative thoughts into positive ones – instead of thinking your legs are big or whatever your problem is, be thankful you have working legs that you can run marathons with if you wanted! Try to stay optimistic and see the positive side of everything! It will greatly improve your mood and outlook on life!
  6. Realize that beauty has no measure on your life. Okay even if someone is not beautiful that has no relevance to one’s life ! Everyone has worth and is amazing! I am sure you are the prettiest person ever but even if you are not then who really cares? What does it really matter? All that matters is that you are happy and love your life- and that should not be dependent upon whether or not you are pretty.
  7. Weight has no relevance to beauty! Whether you are 100 or 300 pounds you can be beautiful! Please do not relate the two to one another! See this post (:
  8. Spend time with people you love and who love you! It is important to spend time with loved ones! They will boost your mood and confidence! If people have a negative impact on your life then you don’t have to spend time with them! Don’t feel like you must stick around for everyone! You have to put yourself first and make sure you are happy! Don’t let others drag you down!
  9. Remember that life is simple - the sun rises and the sun sets, we just tend to complicate the process. Remember the simplicity in life and let it help you to stay calm and stay focused on the important things! Love yourself and love your life! Enjoy it while you can and don’t let everything stress you out so much!
  10. Be generous! Help others, be kind to others, and give when you can. It will spread love and make you feel better as a person.

Now, lets work on changing your thought process. Changing the way you think about things for example, when you have negative thoughts. Try these thoughts instead:

  • I am ugly - I am beautiful
  • I am worthless - I have worth
  • I am sick - I will heal
  • I hate myself - I will learn to love myself
  • I am weak - I am strong, or I wouldn’t be here today
  • I am moody - I have profound emotional depth
  • I am lost - I will find myself
  • I am scared - I have courage
  • I am crazy - It is normal to struggle
  • I am in pain - It’s okay to hurt
  • I am tired - I will not give up
  • I’m not good enough - I am better than “good enough”
  • I can’t change - I can change

Tips to help end self loathing:

  • Talk to yourself the way you talk to someone you care about: “What would you say to good friend who was going through the same thing you are going through?” These are important questions. If you hate yourself, you likely say things to yourself that you would not dare say to another person. What would you say to somebody else who has the exact same traits as you? What could you say to yourself?
  • Recognize that beliefs do not equal truths: Often, people believe what they tell themselves. If you think you are a loser, you may believe it is absolute truth. Try this cognitive behavioral technique called “the three C’s”: catch, check, change. Catch yourself thinking something negative about yourself. Check whether your distressing thought is true. Change it, if not. You can talk back to your negative thoughts. Challenge them. Serve as a defense attorney to the prosecutor in your head.
  • Embrace the concept of “good enough”: Many people feel they should be perfect—never angry, always generous, never critical, always right, and so on. These expectations deny that imperfection is the human condition. If you are one of these people with too-high expectations for yourself, ask yourself what is good enough?
  • Consider turning to spirituality or religion: Many spiritual or religious traditions center on the belief that people are flawed but inherently good, not only lovable but also inherently loved. These beliefs can serve as a huge balm for the hurting soul. The practices of meditation and mindfulness, too, can foster feelings of self-compassion as well as loving kindness toward others.
  • If you hate yourself for mistakes you made, make amends: You may be reading this and thinking, “This does not apply to me. I did something so awful that I can never be forgiven.” First, as much as you condemn yourself, ask if you would equally condemn—to their face—someone else who did the same thing. If not, then you are being unfair to yourself. Perhaps you really did do something awful. If you cannot make amends to the person or people you harmed, do something good for somebody else. Beating up on yourself serves nobody. Doing good for others or taking part in a larger movement not only helps others, it helps you—and it can lead to self-forgiveness.

Hope this advice helps :)

–Shelby (:

anonymous asked:

I figured youre dealing with a lot of hate rn, and you definitely deserve some love. Youre handling it all with grace and forgiveness and its truly inspiring to watch You respond with kindness and respect, and that's incredible difficult and yet every time you don't fail to send hate back with some love and an actual explanation and not just an angry rant. Its inspiring me to be kinder to some people in my life who bother me, and I hope you know that you are making steps towards equality.

Thank you so much, darling. I’d be lying if I said this didn’t make me tear up. 💜💜 these sorts of messages are seriously the best, they keep me going with this blog 100%. You all are so beautiful and I would not be here without you all. 😊 -mod Jay

Unapologetically Yours

I’ve been talking with a good friend of mine lately who is struggling with other people’s opinions of him. He feels the need to give an explanation to every action and bases a lot of what he does on how he thinks people will perceive him. He is constantly plagued with an underlying fear of causing disappointment, apologizing for himself before he even knows if what he did warrants an apology.
I know how tiring that is. I have always called myself a “reformed introvert”. It took truly immersing myself into this band, committing to my life and marching forward toward this whole “no back up plan” to truly come out of my shell.
I remember always worrying about what other people thought, and putting their comfort and happiness above my own, even to the point where it affected me physically.
I’m here to tell you that there is a way out of that shell! And there is a balance to be had, because respecting yourself does not mean that you are selfish, and it doesn’t mean you have to be a dick. It means that you have a great understanding of your surroundings, yourself and what truly matters.
I want to encourage you to stop apologizing for everything. Before “I’m sorry” comes out of your mouth, ask yourself “why”, and if you truly are.
And before you give an explanation to justify your actions, ask yourself why you feel the need to. You don’t need to censor yourself just to comfort someone else’s ignorance. And you are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness.
Me? I care about people, it’s part of what I do. If I see someone hurting, I want to help. It is my choice to help. Some people cannot be helped, and I have had to make that decision not to drown with them. I also care about me. I care about my sanity, and clarity. Because if I lose that… I cannot be a help to anyone else. Remember that Only By loving who we are do we truly open the door to love someone else.
I believe that Every choice You make should be your own. Don’t be scared of disappointing anyone because there’s Always gonna be someone who is disappointed no matter what you do.
For example, I had to make a hard decision last summer, to not finish a tour because of what I now know is a vocal change I am going through ( see my first tumblr blog post). There was a lot of love and understanding I got from people, and there also was a lot of hate. So much of both, that due to the volume of negative, battled by the positive people reporting all of it that FB actually shut my page down for a few days! Ha!! Truth is, I know that if I had continued on that tour and couldn’t give everyone my 100% or even my 80%… Someone would’ve been disappointed and hated me for that too.
In my position, Every action I make causes a ripple of passionate, and differing “opinion wars”. What I wear, what I eat, what I drink, my hair color, the occasional recreational weed or cigar… It’s a classic damned if you do, damned if you don’t scenario.
I do appreciate all the passion people have for who I am and what I do! That is the beauty of music, impacting someone’s life in such a way that they feel the need to express their opinions. I’m grateful to be in a very amazing position in my life where I’m able to touch so many people.
I’m giving these examples of my life to help paint the picture of what everyone goes through now in this Internet/Social Media age we are in. Because everyone has a hard time separating the Internet with real life from time to time. And coming from someone who was born before the Internet…I feel the need to reiterate that people’s opinions of you online, good or bad, do not reflect who you are in real life. Only You know your story. And who cares if everyone agrees or disagrees with your story… It’s not theirs. It’s Yours. Just like my life is Mine.

“someones gotta hate, it’s never gonna change, it gets harder everyday, it’s a hell of a place to keep your heart from freezing, to keep yourself believing…
But I won’t run, I’m not afraid… I’ll look em in the eye, gonna hear me say it’s…
My life, my love, my sex, my drug, my lust, my god, it ain’t no sin… Can I get an Amen?”

“I promise to myself, me and no one else, I am more than this…I am the fire”

“Step into my closet and maybe you’ll find something that’ll scare you, something that you like…”

“I’m unapologetic with you tonight, nothing to hide, turn on the lights, all of the lights and I’ll take you as you are”

“I’m a sick individual and I’m doing this thing called whatever the fuck I want”


I’m currently encouraging my friend to do what he loves, unapologetically. And if he makes changes in his life, do it for him, not because he thinks someone’s opinion will change because of it.

As always, I hope that through putting pieces of myself out there on this blog, you in turn will find some peace and insight to carry on your own journey xx

In closing… Life’s too damn short…Might as well be happy!
Rock on my little freaks…Rock on!

Love,
Lzzy

10 reasons to love yourself

1. You are the only person you’ve 100% got and you are the most important person in your life
2. Your body gets you to new places and helps you experience new things
3. The more you love yourself the happier you’ll be
4. You have people you love and things you enjoy and that makes you a good and interesting person
5. However small, you do have a sense of humour and your laugh is beautiful if you believe it or not
6. There is always people who will miss you and like love you and if they love you why don’t you love yourself?
7. You’re are beautiful
8. There is no one like you, you bring something special because of all your experiences and skills
9. You have the ability to help people and brighten their day
10 your are always growing into a new and better person

5

I think it’s a little silly that it took me getting some hate on Instagram to decide it was time to share what’s going on in my life, so for that, I apologize. When I was thirteen years old my hormones went a little crazy and I started to grow a beard, ever since then for the past ten years I’ve tried plucking, threading, shaving and waxing to try and make it go away so I would fit in with everyone around me. It was a subject of great shame and pain for me for a very long time, but this year, ten years after the pain began, it ended. With the support of some amazing people, my mom, my girlfriend and my very dear friend, I’ve started to grow my beard out. I don’t expect everyone to understand this decision, but I’ve found it to be freeing and I’ve found that it makes me truly happy. I don’t have to lie about who I am anymore, I don’t have to pretend that the only way to be beautiful is to look like everyone else, because let’s be honest people, what if beauty if not a concept designed by society to try and ensure we all look the same? I’m a bearded lady, I’m not transitioning, I’m 100% female, and I can grow an awesome beard. And if that bothers anyone, feel free to unfollow me. Because I don’t need that kind of person in my life.

I know a lot of you here in the studyblr community are on the tail end of high school and soon to be graduating or just recently finished up on school. I graduated high school last year and so wanted to share with you guys 12 things I’ve learned during and after my senior year! Seniors, add on to this post for our high school studyblrs out there!


1.    Everything is not about your grades.

Work your ass for them, but there is a life outside of them, okay.

2.    You are so much more than you think you are.

DO NOT EVER DOUBT YOURSELF. You are a mighty queen or king that is courageous, intelligent, brave, amazing, and exuberant. I know it’s hard to understand things but trust me, it’s going to get better. It may not seem like it, but a lot more people like you than you think.

3.    Your friends are not always forever.

Some might not talk to you after high school, and some might. Some might not talk to you but still care a whole lot for you (those are good friends – keep them) and some you might never see again. It’s all a little complicated really. You’ve got to make an effort to keep up your friendships sometimes! Do you, and the people who really deserve to be in your life will be there, present and supportive. Remember to be there in theirs, too.

4.    Stay away from drama.

Trust, fam. Trust.

5.    Some teachers are your friend – they are not all bad.

I had one teacher that I had a few times throughout high school, and I can never be able thank him enough for the help he gave me, as well as the life lessons he shared. He was the only one that truly expressed his belief all of his students, including myself. The thing is, your teachers are human too. They’re stressing and worrying and may (or may not) have a bucket load of other things on their plate just like you do. One of the biggest highlights of your high school career is the bond that you shared with your teachers. No, you will not be friends with them forever, but yes, they will make an impact on you for a long time. Form relationships with your teachers. Ask them how they are. Do they need help? Can they help you? Despite it being their job, some of them will support you and help you through tough times.

6.    Don’t worry too much about boys… it’ll work out.  

Don’t get so caught up worrying about other people… sometimes we begin to lose ourselves in it all. Don’t ever change who you are – your morals, style, and mindset – for a boy. If you do worry too much however, a few of these guys are going to be life lessons. One of my experiences went too deep without somehow ever scratching the surface and all I can say heartbreak is a horrible thing.  Don’t ever think you are not good enough or worthy. You are 100% worthy. Just because he/she may not see you the same way, it does not make you any less beautiful. Don’t ever rush to find your perfect match. Let it come to you. Be amazing and loving and strong without them first. And take it slow if prince charming finds his way to you (you may not realise this now). Trust me, friendship is so important in your relationship. I’m lucky enough to be with a person that I didn’t initially get too serious with (although we both liked each other very much), and I’m so very glad we became good friends before we took it further. It may not happen in your senior year, or maybe it will, but it’ll happen one day soon, I promise.

7.    Be comfortable doing you.

This explains itself – it is OK TO BE DIFFERENT. It’s ok to go to parties and it’s ok to not go to parties. It’s ok to be a nerd and it’s ok not to be a nerd. It’s ok to be kind and it’s ok to be yourself. [What’s not ok however, is being disrespectful and mean… be a good person, my friends. Respect.] Oh, and don’t ever be ashamed for being who you are.

8.    STUDY EFFECTIVELY!!!

I’ve always been a high achieving student (not to toot my own horn here) and studied A LOT. The complication was that I didn’t pay enough attention to how I was studying, compared to how much I was studying. I mean, sometimes I did, and sometimes I didn’t. PASSIVELY HIGHLIGHTING AND READING IS NOT EFFECTIVE, GUYS. I know from experience. I worked my ass off more than enough but I flunked in my finals. You wanna know why? I wasn’t in a 100% healthy state physically and mentally, and on top of that I didn’t work and learn in a way that benefitted me at all! Find study methods that fit you – stick to one or two styles and fit them accordingly to your classes. Don’t worry about perfectionism!!! Do what you have to do but do it right! Please don’t give yourself so much excessive stress by not applying yourself and actively study!!!

9.    It might not always go to plan, but you’ll get there.

In reference to my previous tip, know that sometimes it’s just not going to go the way you want it to. Let it all out and take a breath. Start again. Keep going. You can do this.

10. DO NOT NEGLECT YOUR MENTAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH. See a counsellor, or find someone to talk to as soon as you can.

I had never felt so stressed more than I had in year 12. On top of school, I had other activities, extracurriculars and sports I took part in. I also had lots of social events, a relationship and lots of family events/time that were important.  I struggled so much to juggle this all and did not know how to say ‘no’. It ruined me.  If you’re struggling and don’t know what to do, talk to your school counsellor or a teacher (maybe the one your friends with, as mentioned in #5) or a trusted friend or adult. Please, for the love of whatever you believe in, please look after yourself. When you get home from school go for a walk for 20 minutes.  Try out a free yoga class on YouTube. Go for a run! Do some resistance work! Smile. Be friendly. Stay away from drama. Power on day by day. Cry if you have to. Let your emotions be free. Learn to live to appreciate yourself. Prioritise and reorganise your life. Look after yourself. This is so important.

11. PACK LUNCH EVERY DAY

I’m not talking about a plain old PB sandwich – though no hate if you’re into that – instead have leftover dinner, fresh veggies and dip, grapes and strawberries and bananas, a bar of dark chocolate, a handful of almonds… the list can go on. Pros? You get your own delish lunch; ummm your own pick of food, duh; you can pack as much as you want (literally I’d bring lots to school every day so I would never go hungry between breaks – trust me on this one); SAVE MONEY; and it’s likely better for you than what’s in your cafeteria anyway! Most of my friends were quite jealous of this, funnily enough.

12. Appreciate your support network.

Year 12/Senior Year is tough. Who are in your support network? Thank them. It’s stressful, I know, and sometimes you snap at your family for irritating you or you don’t pay enough attention to your friends. Love them and appreciate them and support them when they need it too. Let them know year 12 is hard. They want nothing but the best for you, and love you so so much! 

It’s going to be one heck of a year. Have fun. Good luck.

-   Kalyisah (studywithkal)

Kind (Barry Allen x Reader)

A/N: Another original idea! Requests are still open! So you are welcome to send them in! Love you!

Pairing: Barry Allen x Reader

Warnings: swear words

Originally posted by wwhatfinn

             The day was sunny and my sense of direction was fucked up. I had no idea where I was and where I was actually going. It didn’t really help that I was new to the Central City and my phone has just died few minutes earlier. I looked at the useless device in my hand cursing myself that I forgot to charge it.

             Sure Y/N, go out, see the new city, forget that your battery was dying and get lost. I shook my head looking at the shops around me. I knew what I had to do. I had to find a book shop with maps. Yes, I was going to be old-fashioned and buy a map. People used to use only these and find their way around. Why couldn’t I? It was going to be great. I would get in touch with part of history… see the city I just moved into… It was going to be just peachy.

             After acquiring the map, I spent good ten minutes orientating myself around. I pin-pointed my location and the location of Central City Museum and I was good to go. With a map in my hand and proud/scared look on my face I started walking, looking at the piece of paper every few seconds, knowing well that I would lose myself otherwise.

             I had a good feeling that I was getting closer, or that I might have walked in a completely different direction. I didn’t know. The map didn’t have the small blue dot that I was so used to. I began to think, how easy I had it with my phone, which was doing literally everything for me. I thanked silently the people who came up with smartphones, for making my life that much easier.

             Lost in thought and in my map I bumped into someone. I lost my balance and I was almost 100% sure I was going to end up on the ground, somehow doubting that the map would cushion my fall.

‘Woah!’ I heard the male voice and I was balanced by the owner of it.

             I crashed the map in my hands and felt my cheeks burning bright red. I looked up and saw the most beautiful being I have ever seen. He was tall, his eyes were shining like two emerald crystals and his brown messy hair were sticking out in all directions. I kind of wanted to touch them. I looked at his full, pink lips and licked mine. I was so done.

‘Are you okay?’ he asked looking at me intensively.

             I was mute. I didn’t know what to say, I could only stare into those mesmerizing eyes. I needed to get my shit together and fast, because that beautiful human being just spoke to me and I needed to stop staring at him like a creep, I probably was.

‘Yeah… sorry’ I said quietly, feeling stupid ‘It’s just that bloody map was in a way… and I wasn’t looking where I was going and my phone died and I just moved here and they have this new exhibition in the museum and I wanted to see it before they closed it, but now I realise that I’m probably lost cause for the life of me I can’t find my way without my phone… I’m sorry, I’m a mess.’

             Woah. Great. I just told this total stranger my whole life story, it was going so great. I felt my cheeks getting even redder and I wondered how that was even possible. I looked like a tomato and I knew that it wasn’t my best look.

             I looked up at him and I could see traces of laughter in his eyes.

‘For one, CC museum is that way’ he pointed towards the direction I just came from.

             I hung my head down and shook it. I just made myself look like a complete idiot. He probably thought my sense of direction was really bad. Which was not wrong, but I didn’t necessarily want him to know that. Not yet anyways.

‘I’m passing it on my way to work, if you want I can take you there’ he said.

             I blinked few times, trying so hard not to overanalyse what that meant. He was just a kind soul, that took pity on me. It was on his way to work; it didn’t mean anything. It definitely didn’t give me the right to think about how beautiful our future children would be and the wedding march should not be playing in my head.

‘It is so kind of you’ I said, struggling with the map to put it back the way I found it.

‘I’m Barry, by the way’ he said, extending his hand towards me.

             I took it, shaking it lightly. Barry was an old man’s name. But it was not going to be an issue for me. Not with that beautiful smile of his.

             Y/N. Chill the hell out. He is just a strange man, who you just met. He literally did not give you any reason to fall in love with him. Well, except his face and his kindness. I wanted to be Mrs Barry so much.

‘I’m Y/N’ I said, smiling. ‘I’m sorry for bumping into you like that…’

‘Well, in all honesty, I bumped into you, cause I was on my phone’ he laughed awkwardly.

             I looked at him for few seconds and chuckled. There was no awkwardness between us. Normally when I talked to new people I had this feeling I was doing something really wrong. It wasn’t the case with him. I felt comfortable, I felt like I could tell him anything. And that scared me a bit, since I literally knew him for five minutes.

‘Well, Barry, I forgive you’ I said laughing.

‘But seriously, the map? Couldn’t you get a battery pack for your phone or something?’ he asked.

             I blinked few times. Yeah, I was really slow. That thought didn’t even cross my mind. The moment my phone died, my brain went straight to a map. Well done, Y/N, well fucking done.

‘I guess I wanted to feel like I was living in 2000s…’ I joked, chuckling ‘Okay, I didn’t really think about that.’

             He stopped and I looked at him confused. He showed me the huge building with the Central City Museum carved into it. I just overshot it by mere 200 meters. What was even more embarrassing, I probably passed it on my way. And I missed it. I missed a huge building. How did I even manage to do that, I had no idea.

‘See, I wasn’t that far off’ I said.

             I really didn’t want him to go. Our encounter was really brief, but it felt right. It felt like I was supposed to bump into him on that day. My phone was supposed to die and I was supposed to meet Barry.

‘Well, that’s where I leave you’ he announced, hesitantly, giving me his hand. ‘It was nice to meet you, Y/N’

‘Likewise’ I shook his hand.

             He nodded, let go off my hand and turned around. I tried to stifle the sadness which took over my heart when I saw him walking away. I felt really stupid, since I really didn’t know anything about him, but it just felt wrong. Him walking away felt wrong.

             He turned around and looked at me, making up his mind.

‘Y/N, can I have your number?’ he said, confidence evident in his voice ‘I don’t want you getting lost again… And I could show you around Central City… If you would like that, I mean.’

             Thank god.

‘Yeah, I’d like that’ I smiled.

*****************************************************************************************

Requests are still opeeen! My Masterlist. And Prompts and Prompts 2

Take a picture or two and then put down the damn phone. Feel the fireworks in your chest, not through your screen. Let your favorite band’s voice bring you to tears without distraction. Laugh hard with your friends without feeling the need to show everyone on the internet or snapchat or insta you are having a good time. Posit it after, once you are home. Or don’t post it at all. When you stop constantly updating the world about what you are doing, you will realize you are free. You have the world at your fingertips, and I don’t mean through a touch screen anymore. You can walk on a trial with your best friend and have the deepest discussion in your life and only the two of you will know, you can realize how beautiful your mother’s eyes are, you can take necessary time to be truly 100% alone with you and your thoughts to figure out who you are. And no one will know. That’s the beauty of it. No one will know except you and the people you truly love, the people experiencing it with you. And those will make better stories than the stories you post on snapchat, which disappear after 24 hours.
—  I’m tired of trying to talk to my friends and not seeing their eyes

I can’t even begin to explain how imperative it is to learn how to be your own best friend; to be able to step outside of yourself and realize that your thoughts are not always truthful and representative of reality; to gain awareness of the fact that the mind, although a beautiful part of you, is capable of (and most often does) working against you. You are not worthless or useless, and the space you take up is not wasted. Remind yourself of your right to be alive 100 times a day if you need to. Relish in your accomplishments and concentrate your energy on the things and the people who make you feel good. Stop identifying with the cynical lies about yourself that you internalize. The key to living a long, happy life lies entirely within perspective and consciousness.

So...

I just want to say that there’s something cool that’s happening between my mom and I because of The 100. For the longest time, she would never accept the fact that I was gay. She wouldn’t acknowledge it or even speak of it, it was a very “forbidden” thing to talk about between her and I. She would always bring up how I needed a boyfriend or joke that this dude was cute or that dude was cute. I know it’s not #clexaforme anymore, but I really want to just touch on this because there are some /those who shall not be named/ who just don’t seem to get it. When I first came out I was beat for loving who I loved. I was dragged out of my bed by my hair and told some pretty cruel things because I had feelings for a gender that was the same as me. Introducing my mom to The 100 was kind of something that I had an iffy feeling about, but alas, I introduced it. She ships herself with Lincoln…but the thing is that they introduced these characters so smoothly, and I’m not just talking about Lexa. I’m talking about…this show makes you feel things, it makes you feel so deeply for the characters and realize that there are multiple layers to each and every one of those characters and you might not think that’s important but it really is, because that allows the viewer to really sympathize and be compassionate to the characters they’re watching. The 100 finally introduced Lexa to the mix and the interaction between her and Clarke was amazing. At first my mom questioned Lexa (like no doubt many have) slowly she started realizing that I had Lexa on my lockscreen/homescreen of my phone and the outfits I was making/cosplaying were Lexa someone who has literally become a hero for me. She saw the relationship between Clarke/Lexa and slowly she started talking to me about it all. Suddenly, my extremely homophobic mother was talking to me about this crazy dynamic between these two females. She was hurt greatly by Lexa’s choice to leave Clarke at the mountain but we talked about it and she saw my view, come around to season 3, she was rooting her ass off for Lexa and when she saw that she took down the Ice Queen Lexa was becoming this amazing character for her too that she could root for along with me. Realizing that we love who we love that we are human and that we make decisions that we do because we are human, we are just trying to survive in our own way. It’s opened such a crazy and amazing gateway to be able to communicate with her about loving someone who is the same gender as me. That lesbians aren’t all these ‘demon’ like creatures, they’re human too and fail and succeed the same as everyone else. It’s meant so much. And I like to say to those who make the comments “that’s cool for you, that it means so much to you is cool but it doesn’t mean anything to me.” Please take the time to realize that, people die all the time because they chose to love someone the way many might not understand, that kids are beat by the very people that are supposed to protect them, that this is a very serious issue and that it being represented the way it has, it opens up so much and it offers a new view that normally people wouldn’t be open to. That’s what makes clexa and the 100 beautiful. I’m not here to argue about ships about if this guy and that girl should be together, i’m here to argue about the fact that the 100 is making my life easier, making the people I love realize that I also have feelings, and that it might not be the same as everyone else’s but I feel too.

Lexa is my hero because she is a strong young woman who believes in herself. She is confident when no one else has faith in her. She tries to push out all the hate that other people have for her and keep the peace. She is a strong person because while people are trying to exploit her for being ‘weak’ she is fighting back and realizing that the very thing people are trying to kill her for is what makes her strong and she gives no fucks. She forgives in such a gracious manner that astonishes me…the Ice Nation KILLED her love of her life and she worked with them swallowed everything that was hurting her and persevered to make them apart of her coalition to obtain peace. 

Clarke is my hero because she isn’t afraid to be stubborn to fight for what she believes in. She isn’t afraid to go through hell and back to find another way, a way to be good. She keeps a good heart close to her even when the decisions she has to make has no good ending. She is amazing. She learns quickly and adapts quickly. She also takes no shit from anyone and does what she needs to do even though people sometimes don’t trust her decision or also tell her not to go through with something. 

These two are my heroes together and apart.  I’m not saying ‘you need to ship them’ i’m just saying reduce your hate because to some people these characters are the gateway to an easier life and an easier conversation starter with those that are family/loved ones. They maybe the one key to open the eyes of people who refuse to believe that such beautiful things exist in the least expected. 

That’s all I’m saying. #Clexaforme #Lexaforme #Clarkeforme 

Thank you. 

@shawnambenson @kimshum @aaronginsburg

anonymous asked:

I'm thirteen. Why do I have stretch marks on my thighs and butt?

Hi darling, x

Speaking from a personal level, I have major stretch marks on by butt, thighs, and boobs. But that’s because I’m finally growing into my body, I can’t say for sure why you might have stretch marks, but I’ve done some research…

Once you’ve checked out those links, I have a few things that I’d like to show you!

20 Ways to Love Your Body

  1. Think of your body as the vehicle to your dreams.  Honor it.  Respect it.  Fuel it.
  2. Create a list of all the things your body lets you do.  Read it and add to it often.
  3. Become aware of what your body can do each day.  Remember it is the instrument of your life, not just an ornament.
  4. Create a list of people you admire:  people who have contributed to your life, your community, or the world.  Consider whether their appearance was important to their success and accomplishments.
  5. Walk with your head held high, supported by pride and confidence in yourself as a person.
  6. Don’t let your weight or shape keep you from activities that you enjoy.
  7. Wear comfortable clothes that you like, that express your personal style, and that feel good to your body.
  8. Count your blessings, not your blemishes.
  9. Think about all the things you could accomplish with the time and energy you currently spend worrying about your body and appearance.  Try one!
  10. Be your body’s friend and supporter, not its enemy.
  11. Consider this:  your skin replaces itself once a month, your stomach lining every five days, your liver every six weeks, and your skeleton every three months.  Your body is extraordinary—begin to respect and appreciate it.
  12. Every morning when you wake up, thank your body for resting and rejuvenating itself so you can enjoy the day.
  13. Every evening when you go to bed, tell your body how much you appreciate what it has allowed you to do throughout the day.
  14. Find a method of exercise that you enjoy and do it regularly. Don’t exercise to lose weight or to fight your body. Do it to make your body healthy and strong and because it makes you feel good.  Exercise for the Three F’s: Fun, Fitness, and Friendship.
  15. Think back to a time in your life when you felt good about your body.  Loving your body means you get to feel like that again, even in this body, at this age.
  16. Keep a list of 10 positive things about yourself—without mentioning your appearance.  Add to it daily!
  17. Put a sign on each of your mirrors saying, “I’m beautiful inside and out.”
  18. Search for the beauty in the world and in yourself.
  19. Consider that, “Life is too short to waste my time hating my body this way.”
  20. Eat when you are hungry.  Rest when you are tired.  Surround yourself with people that remind you of your inner strength and beauty.

10 Steps to Positive Body Image

One list cannot automatically tell you how to turn negative body thoughts into positive body image, but it can introduce you to healthier ways of looking at yourself and your body.  The more you practice these new thought patterns, the better you will feel about who you are and the body you naturally have.

  1. Appreciate all that your body can do.  Every day your body carries you closer to your dreams.  Celebrate all of the amazing things your body does for you—running, dancing, breathing, laughing, dreaming, etc.
  2. Keep a top-ten list of things you like about yourself—things that aren’t related to how much you weigh or what you look like.  Read your list often.  Add to it as you become aware of more things to like about yourself.
  3. Remind yourself that “true beauty” is not simply skin deep.  When you feel good about yourself and who you are, you carry yourself with a sense of confidence, self-acceptance, and openness that makes you beautiful regardless of whether you physically look like a supermodel.   Beauty is a state of mind, not a state of your body.
  4. Look at yourself as a whole person.  When you see yourself in a mirror or in your mind, choose not to focus on specific body parts.  See yourself as you want others to see you–as a whole person.
  5. Surround yourself with positive people.  It is easier to feel good about yourself and your body when you are around others who are supportive and who recognize the importance of liking yourself just as you naturally are.
  6. Shut down those voices in your head that tell you your body is not “right” or that you are a “bad” person.  You can overpower those negative thoughts with positive ones.  The next time you start to tear yourself down, build yourself back up with a few quick affirmations that work for you.
  7. Wear clothes that are comfortable and that make you feel good about your body.  Work with your body, not against it.
  8. Become a critical viewer of social and media messages.  Pay attention to images, slogans, or attitudes that make you feel bad about yourself or your body.  Protest these messages:  write a letter to the advertiser or talk back to the image or message
  9. Do something nice for yourself—something that lets your body know you appreciate it.  Take a bubble bath, make time for a nap, find a peaceful place outside to relax.
  10. Use the time and energy that you might have spent worrying about food, calories, and your weight to do something to help others.   Sometimes reaching out to other people can help you feel better about yourself and can make a positive change in our world.

(source)

Steps to improve self esteem:

  1. Focus on your strengths – figure out what you are good at! There are plenty of things that you are wonderful at and use those to build your confidence! No one is good at everything so do not fret if you are bad at something! Instead focus on what you are good at and enjoy them!
  2. Learn from your mistakes - you don’t have to be good at everything like mentioned above but use your mistakes to your advantage! Don’t worry about them- live and learn!
  3. Do what you love – make time everyday to do something you enjoy! Do something that makes you happy to improve your mood!
  4. Tell yourself you are beautiful - stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you are ! Keep telling yourself and fake it until you make it! Really mean what you are saying a realize all of the beautiful things about you - including any flaws ( they make you unique!)
  5. Turn your negative thoughts into positive ones – instead of thinking your legs are big or whatever your problem is, be thankful you have working legs that you can run marathons with if you wanted! Try to stay optimistic and see the positive side of everything! It will greatly improve your mood and outlook on life!
  6. Realize that beauty has no measure on your life. Okay even if someone is not beautiful that has no relevance to one’s life ! Everyone has worth and is amazing! I am sure you are the prettiest person ever but even if you are not then who really cares? What does it really matter? All that matters is that you are happy and love your life- and that should not be dependent upon whether or not you are pretty.
  7. Weight has no relevance to beauty! Whether you are 100 or 300 pounds you can be beautiful! Please do not relate the two to one another! See this post (:
  8. Spend time with people you love and who love you! It is important to spend time with loved ones! They will boost your mood and confidence! If people have a negative impact on your life then you don’t have to spend time with them! Don’t feel like you must stick around for everyone! You have to put yourself first and make sure you are happy! Don’t let others drag you down!
  9. Remember that life is simple - the sun rises and the sun sets, we just tend to complicate the process. Remember the simplicity in life and let it help you to stay calm and stay focused on the important things! Love yourself and love your life! Enjoy it while you can and don’t let everything stress you out so much!
  10. Be generous! Help others, be kind to others, and give when you can. It will spread love and make you feel better as a person.

Now, lets work on changing your thought process. Changing the way you think about things for example, when you have negative thoughts. Try these thoughts instead:

  • I am ugly - I am beautiful
  • I am worthless - I have worth
  • I am sick - I will heal
  • I hate myself - I will learn to love myself
  • I am weak - I am strong, or I wouldn’t be here today
  • I am moody - I have profound emotional depth
  • I am lost - I will find myself
  • I am scared - I have courage
  • I am crazy - It is normal to struggle
  • I am in pain - It’s okay to hurt
  • I am tired - I will not give up
  • I’m not good enough - I am better than “good enough”
  • I can’t change - I can change

Once you’ve tried changing your thought process, the next set of advice I have for you is some awesome links that I think you could benefit from looking into”

Helpful Links:

Keep me updated? xx