100 celine

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Remember when 20 year old Beyoncé hit Celine Dion so hard with that high note she took a moment to realize what just happened.

When bitty and jack come out to Shitty he takes it super well and proceeds to throw a party in their honor (even if the other guests don’t know it). 

Anyways, everyone is properly scwasted and Shitty gets Bitty alone and stage whispers “Jack and I have something that you will never be able to replace”

Bitty just nods and says “I’m not replacing anything. I love what you and Jack have”. And Shitty just shakes his head and slurs out 12 “no”s one after the other. 

“nah not that. I’m super secure in that. But there’s one thing that he’s done with me that he will never do with you” 

Okay so this peaks Bitty’s interest. He motions for Shitty to continue his thought. 

“Jack Zimmerman, totally wrecked and  belting Celine Dion on a karaoke machine”

“No fucking way”

“It’s the TRUTH. He wasn’t even looking at the words! He knew them all”

“If you say that to a field it’ll be fertilized”

After five minutes of Bitty screaming Bullshit and Shitty saying “nah man” Jack finally returns to them from wherever he was as confirms that, yes, he did sing Celine Dion’s “it’s all coming back to me now” in his first year. and that, no, he don’t think he’d do it again. 

Shitty and Bitty both exchanged a look, and then decided to spend the rest of the night to get Jack to sing at all. No such luck. But it doesn’t stop there. They keep trying whenever they are able to all meet up. It’s always like “hey Jack do you wanna sing along to some tunes in the car?” or “hey this bar has good drinks and…wow there’s a karaoke machine that sounds fun doesn’t it???” 

So when the newest video on Falconer’s TV is a karaoke competition between Jack and Tater, and Jack (the competitive lil shit) is going all at it is uploaded. Shitty and Bitty both text him like crazy. 

“Jack Laurent Zimmermann what the hell were you thinking”

drag matinee was 100% celine dion themed so with 6 queens performing, that makes 12 celine dion songs in a row, count ‘em, 12

I can’t even name 12 celine dion songs but the point is, I got to see Porcelain and she stuck a tube up her nose and out of her mouth and then Trannika did a shot through it

last night was wild

Earning approximately $135 Million Dollars in the past year, Katy Perry has taken the title of the female artist who has earned the most money in a year from Madonna, who set a record with $125 Million Dollars earned in 2013.

Katy Perry $135 million (2015)
Madonna $125 million (2013)
Beyoncé $115 million (2014)
Celine Dion $100 million (2009)

​Note: Not cumulatively - but the most in a single year, not overall.