100 butches

straight women LOVE stealing lesbian things!

the bedchel test? originally a lesbian thing. straight women found it, and now it’s a feminist thing.

during the jewish holiday of pesach (or passover), there’s a meal called the seder. during the seder, there is an explanation of all of the foods on the seder plate. some people, but not all, put an orange on the plate. this orange is from a story. the story says that, once, a lesbian asked her rabbi if there was a space in Judaism for LGBT people. her rabbi said “there is as much space for LGBT people in Judaism as there is for an orange on the seder plate.” thats why it’s there. and to me, a Jewish lesbian, that story has so much meaning and hope. however, straight women took that story. they turned it into this: a woman asked if she could be a rabbi. she was told “there is as much room for female rabbis as there is for an orange on the seder plate.” now, instead of a lesbian thing, it’s a feminist thing.

“femme” is a lesbian term. straight women have turned it into a term that can apply to anyone.

one can be a feminist and still let lesbians have things!

Lesbian Master List

Lipstick Lesbian: An extremely glamorous, very feminine, lesbian. Not a doc marten or flannel in sight, just dresses and heels and everything in between. Perfume, flowers, pink, and women. Often portrayed as submissive in a lesbian relationship, but that isn’t always the case. Lipstick lesbians can kick some ass. Have you seen the sharpness of those heels? They are all the glitz and glam of a lesbian. Portia De Rossi and Sarah Paulson are just a few examples.

Femme: A feminine lesbian, simply put. Not as glamorous as a lipstick lesbian, but still extremely feminine. Makeup, jeans, maybe the occasional pair of chucks in baby pink. Also often viewed as the submissive one in a lesbian relationship, but that’s not always the case. Leisha Hailey is a great example of a femme lesbian.

Stem: An African American femme. The same exact definition of a femme, but this definition is reserved just for woc, which is much deserved. Wanda Sykes or Robin Roberts are wonderful examples of stem lesbians.

Sporty Dyke: Still a femme, but so athletic that it would make you think otherwise. Running shoes and sweats are very familiar with sporty dykes, and they probably always have their hair up in an under armour headband at all times. Have you ever seen their hair down? Probably not. She won’t put on a dress until her sports banquet, and her whole team will gasp in shock. Sporty dykes have the best body of any lesbian though… You need muscle to play softball as good as they do. Jillian Michaels is a great example of a sporty dyke.

Blue Jeans Femme: Have you ever seen The Kids Aren’t Alright? Then you know what I’m talking about. Blue jean femmes love their Mossimo dark wash jeans just as much as they love their vegan leather Birkenstocks and their farmers market veggies. Reads a lot of self-enlightenment books and probably has a colorful afghan. Joni Mitchell and Ani DiFranco probably run through their blood stream. They love thrift shopping and green juice after meditation, and god dammit they love their girlfriend.

Chapstick Lesbian: A relatively feminine lesbian, but still has a fair share of masculine or tomboyish characteristics. Chucks, doc martens, band tees and flannels are no new thing to chapstick lesbians. But dammit do they love their mascara and their pretty pink curtains. They can kill a spider with only a little scream, and can probably put an IKEA dresser together with the help of her girlfriend. Sarah Gilbert is a great example of a chapstick.

Beibian: The stage most baby dykes go through… The 2009 Justin Bieber hair phase. *gasp* Yes, they actually have Justin Bieber type hair. Yes, they probably just came out and are trying to find themselves in the world of lesbian. Beibians are freshly “came out” lesbians with skinny jeans and target plaid button-ups and the rainbow hottopic bracelet and “pride” pins all over their black jansport. Probably wears vans. Probably spends 30 minutes to an hour straightening their freshly cut coming out hair-do and will probably take a flash mirror selfie to post on tumblr. Justin Bieber is a great example of a Beibian.

Futch: Not a femme, not a butch. Content with being both and neither. Maybe you have a pixie cut, maybe you have long hair. Maybe you wear pretty flowy blouses, maybe you wear button ups. Maybe you wear makeup one day and not the next. You’ll wear a pretty dress to your cousin’s wedding and a pantsuit to your sister’s birthday. You are so confident with feeling one way one day, and another the next, and you love to play with masculinity and femininity, and you do it well. But you’re indecisive, so your girlfriend always picks the restaurant. A great example of futch is Ellen Page.

Soft Butch: Mostly masculine, but they have something soft about them. Flannels and button ups are the typical attire, hats are always a must. Even though they love to be chivalrous and kill spiders and act tough, they secretly love buying candles and going clothes shopping with their girlfriend. They can cry to a romcom and cheer to a basketball game. They are everything great about being a butch, but they’re just soft about it. Get yourself a soft butch, she’ll fix your toilet and gossip about OITNB. She’ll be the big spoon, most of the time. A wonderful example of soft butch is our president, Ellen DeGeneres.
Stud: The same as soft butch, but this definition is reserved for black women! An example of a stud is Samira Wiley. *Enter a Poussey joke please. My heart still hurts too bad to do so.*

Butch: The cream of the lesbian crop. Butch. When you see a butch, the first thing you think is, “lesbian.” Which is accurate. Because, well, she’s a lesbian. Butches are characteristically confident and sure about their identity, so much so that they are willing to go outside gender norms and wear not what’s typical, but what feels good. Most every butch has short hair, it’s kinda the butch thing. (Unless you’re a LHB, or a long haired butch, who are equally butchy and attractive.) A butch is a masculine woman simply put. 100% men’s clothes down to the knickers. She’s chivalrous, and can take apart an IKEA desk and can put it back together in a blink of an eye, and can probably kill a spider without so much as a bat of an eyelash. Watches a lot of sports but will watch Project Runway if her girlfriend forces her, (she secretly likes it.) She’s just cool. Everyone wants to have the swagger of the butch. A couple perfect examples of a butch would be K.D. Lang, Rachel Maddow, and Sarah Bettens. They are hotter than any dude could ever be.

Stone Butch: Take the definition of butch and times it by 100. They are the butches of the butch. Intense and intimidating, with womanly swagger, all in one. By law, every stone butch has to own a leather jacket. It’s just the law. She probably has carpenter jeans and really intense steel toed combat boots. Every stone butch has at least 14 tattoos. At least. She probably has a group of super scary butch friends, and will pick you up on your first date on her motorcycle. She may be a stone butch, but her heart is as warm as it comes. She loves taking her gf out for joyrides and pushing chairs out for her. So don’t ever be intimidated by the stone butch, they are the friendliest of all. It is typical for stone butches to be particularly “dominant” in any relationship, and they maybe classified especially by not not liking to be intimately touched in any situation. Overall, the stone butch is the even better butch! An example of stone butch would be Lea DeLaria.

*If you think of anymore, feel free to add on or ask us to add onto it!*

Things I Believe to be True

EDWARD NYGMA IS IN LOVE WITH OSWALD CHESTERFIELD COBBLEPOT

ISABELLA HAD A PURPOSE WE WILL FIND OUT SOON OKAY

HARLEY QUINN SHOULD REALLY BE A NEW CHARACTER YEAH

BABS AND TABS SHOULD BE A THING 100% (SORRY BUTCH)

OSWALD COBBLEPOT IS BEAUTIFUL 

SELINA IS AMAZING I’M GLAD THEY HAD THE CATS SAVE HER LIKE IN BATMAN RETURNS

IVY IS A PRECIOUS PLANT GODDESS I HOPE SHE GETS HER PLANT POWERS NEXT SEASON

WE NEED MORE ZSASZ DUH