100 avengers

me : *is the first one to finish the reading of a paper in class *

teacher : Have you finish yet ?

me : yep

teacher : Wow, you’re a quick reader !

me : I read a lot.

teacher : Really, that’s great. What do you read ?

me : *think about all the 60k (and more) fics I’ve been reading since the last few years*… Harry… Potter…

teacher : *confused* the last one was published about 10 years ago…

me : I read it…again… a lot ? 

Some hilarious writing prompts

Alright so a few days ago I decided to look for some hilarious text posts on tumblr and I laughed so much I just had to write some prompts! (is possible to be customized)
(Send me requests with 1/1+ prompt/s. I write about a lot of fandoms and also a lot of different things : one shots/scenarios/imagines/headcanons/chats/conversations/aesthetics/alomst anything) REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

*1. Do I look like I give a fuck?
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*2. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you again for taking advantage of my compassionate and forgiving nature! HOw dare you.
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*3. Me? Overreacting? Probably.
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4. I used to be passive aggressive, but now I’m aggressively passive. Don’t mess with me kiddo. I’ll be right here. I’ll fucking forgive you.
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5. A: Whar are you doing?
B: Avoiding.
A: Avoiding what?
B: Everything.
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*6. This was impulsive. Probably shouldn’t have done it. WHO CARES?
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*7. You’re really cute and it’s ruining my life because I think about kissing you all the time.
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8. A: It’s okay, I’m not mad.
    A (5 mins later): Actually? You can go to Hell.
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9. I hate people who get personally offended when I’m in a bad mood, likeI’m not mad at you Susan (name), I’m mad at the world!
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10. A to A: Bitch, if you actually applied yourself in like…anything, you’d be dangerous ,damn my lazy ass.
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11. I don’t know what I’m feeling, but there’s a lot of it.
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12. Not to dictate your life, but drop your shitty friends.
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13. That sounds like responsibility and I want no part in it.
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14. Why am I better than everyone? Jesus, life’s hard.
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15. A: How do you make someone holy?
B: You beat the hell out of them.
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16. A: I’m amazed of how insignificant we actually are.
B: Not me, I’m important.
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17. If anyone can do it, then someone who isn’t me can do it.
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18. In the old days of one week ago things were different. Now look at us - slightly older than we were back then, other clothes and such.
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19. I’m not going to claim that I know everything, I’m simply going to act like it.
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*20. You have to “see it to believe it”, so as long as I’m not looking I don’t have to believe in anything.
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21. I’m visualising a powerful mystical energy at the moment.
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22. If I don’t learn anything from my mistakes then I don’t have to consider them mistakes in the first place.
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23. Why the hell is there always this one weak bitch in the group that isn’t down with murder? No offence though.
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24. A: If you ever feel stupid, or weak, or powerless, just remember that I, am not.
B: THanks.
A: You’re welcome.
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25. I wanna do dirty stuff with you like farming.
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26. A: What are you reading?
B: 10 tips for beutiful hair the Government doesn’t want you to know.
A: wHAT the fuck?
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27. A: I’m tired of these constant near-death experiences.
B: (opinional) don’t be a whiny bitch, bitch.
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28. Man, how many eye contact until date?
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29. God has a favourite comedy tv series and it’s called “my life”.
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30. Sometimes all you can say is “yikes” and then just on the fuck on.
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31. Why is everyone having their mid-life crisis at like 19?
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32. It’s a beutiful day to give me money, honey.
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33. Women aren’t complicated, you’re just dumb.
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34. Well this social situation isn’t going the way I acted it out in the shower.
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35. No offence, but my favourite hobby is staying hydrated and beautiful.
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36. I’m actually pretty cool if you give me like 5 tries to get it right.
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37. Today I’m feeling cloudy with a chance of sarcastic.
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38. Be prapared to add a cute emoji next to my name in your contacts list because you’re gonna love me.
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*39.A: Babe, I’m not grabbing your boob, I’m grabbing your heart.
B: That’s my right boob though.
A: Babe.
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40.Every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough.
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41.What makes me feel like a failure the most is when I can’t remember the answet to a Harry Potter trivia question.
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42.I hate it when I’m really nice…And then people are just not that nice? Like what the fuck.
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43.Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.
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*44.Is your name candle? Because I wanna blow you.
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*45. So, was that just awkward eye contact, or were we checking eachother out?-

46.You know, having feelings is ruining my reputation of being a heartless bitch.
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47.My turn ons? Well I don’t know, maybe some fucking common sense.
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48.I may seem like an angry person on the surface, but deep inside I’m actually angrier.
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49.I ship me and that boat.
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50.Listen. I did mean to make you upset and I do think your opinions are shit. But you’re still my friend so it’s okay.
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51.Because my two moods are like glitter and death.
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*52.My kink is closing the fucking bathroom door, because no one wants to see you fucking pee!
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53.If I go to Hell I’m gonna constantly torture everyone by continuously asking if it’s hot in here or is it just me.
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54.Oh my God are you seeing this shit?
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55.Graduated top of my class from Hogwarts school of bitchcraft and misery.

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56.A (shows up at your door 10 years after we had an argument): aND ANOTHER THING

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57.I’ll betray all of you in the Hunger Games.

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58.Well, well, well, if it isn’t my old friend, the dawing realization that I fucked up real bad.

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59.I’m a screamer. Not sexually, just life in general.

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60.I’m not racist, I hate everyone equally.

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61.Tell me I’m cute or something, so I can roll my eyes at you, but then blush when I think about it later.

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62.You know when your hair is greasy and it makes you feel so bad about yourself? And your entire life. Everything is awful because my hair is greasy.

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63.True love is having a crush even when he got a haircut you know.

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64.Emotions? You know, I just push my tear back into my eye and tell it “Not now, you little bastard!”.

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65.Are we gonna hold hands, or what?

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66.My soul leaving my body, but with one of those slide whistle sound effects.

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67.A: I love you.

B: What if I got a bowl cut?

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68.I should really stop planning my future around being rich or famous…but I can’t.

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69.I’m aggressively thibking about having sex with you and trying to keep a straight face at the same time. Do you know hOW hard that is?

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70.My opinion is no.

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71.Did you fall from heaven, because so did Satan.

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72.What to hear a fairytale? Once upon a time you weren’t such a little bitch.

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73.Which is messier - my life or my hair?

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74.How can you face the problem when the problem is your face?

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75.Sometimes I wonder what it feels like to know wHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.

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76.Read a girl who dates books.

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77.My hands are cold let me put them in your pants.

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78.I’m sorry, you must be at least level 4 friend to unlock my tragic backstory.

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79.My therapist once told me that I have this obsession with seeking revenge…we’ll see about that.

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80.You have lips, I have lips…interesting.

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81.Do my dark undereye circles and unwashed hair turn you on?

/PART TWO/


/170715 ; a Temporary side note: please for the moment don’t send me requests with the numbers that have a (*). I’ve received so many requests with those, I’m starting to run out of ideas :D Thank you ! / - persuasivus

I was thinking about that churro lady
  • Peter either swung down to her because he saw that she was confused or she just like tapped this random spandexed stranger on the shoulder to ask for directions
  • Both are so hilarious to imagine
  • “You’re the hero! The one on the news!”
  • “Yes ma’am, th-thank you”
  • Peter getting really happy because a stranger just called him a hero
  • Him beaming through the mask
  • “I’m supposed to meet my son at this little coffee shop on 31st” 
  • “Oh yeah! I go there all the time with my aunt”
  • Peter getting paranoid because revealing that he has an aunt might have somehow compromised his identity 
  • Him pointing down the street a couple of different ways
  • He has to bend down a little bit to talk to her which feels nice because he’s self-conscious about his height
  • The lady pats him on the hand and says “Thank you, thank you”
  • “Yeah, yeah, no problem, Miss”
  • She sees the churro cart across the street as Peter’s beginning to leave
  • “Oh! Wait!”
  • He sees where she’s looking and jogs back to her side
  • “Do you like churros, sir?”
  • “Yeah, yeah, churros are, uhm, churros are good”
  • Peter being flustered again because she called him “sir”
  • He sub consciously deepens his voice a little bit for the rest of the conversation after that comment
  • “I’m going to buy you one. C’mon, c’mon”
  • Peter insisting that “it’s fine, it’s fine, I - I just ate lunch”
  • “Nope. I’m buying you a churro”
  •  He’s really smiling now
  • “Thanks, Ms. Lady”
  • He helps her across the street and she tells him about how she used to get churros all the time with her kids “but now they’re a little too old for that”
  • “No one’s too old for churros”
  • She laughs a little bit “Yes, I suppose”
  • She gets the churro and the guy behind the stand is in  a w e
  • She insists on getting multiple napkins for him to hold it with
  • “We don’t want your… costume to be getting dirty now, do we?”
  • Peter resisting the urge to inform her that it is not a costume, it’s a suit
  • Just agreeing instead
  • Karen adds that “Mr. Stark would not be happy if you got your suit dirty”
  • Peter jumping a bit because he’s still not used to his new suit and Suit Lady
  • “My grandson really likes you, you know. He always looks for you out the apartment window”
  • Peter’s heart swelling
  • “Wow, that’s - that’s awesome. Uhm, tell him I said ‘hi’, tell him Spiderman says ‘hi’”
  • “Alrighty, dear, I will”
  • Her insisting that she remembers the way to the coffee shop
  • “Okay, uhm, thanks for the churro, I’ll eat it on my way home, thanks a lot”
  • She smiles and pats him on the shoulder and walks down the street
  • Peter totally downplaying how giddy he was that someone recognized him when he called to give his report for the night

Time for some more rambling. I’m not sure if this is something that’s already been touched on in the fandom, but I was rewatching the The First Avenger recently and I’m pretty sure the train was set up by Hydra to be a trap for Bucky… 

Let’s start by looking at the scene where Steve rescues Bucky from the Hydra munitions factory. When Schmidt sees that Captain America has infiltrated the facility, he sets the building to destruct. Zola sees what Schmidt is doing and he freaks the hell out.

Now, Zola is normally a groveling worm when it comes to Schmidt. He knows better than to stand up to him; but there’s something that tips him over the edge here–if just for a second.  

We already know there are a handful of other munitions factories across Europe (which is part of the reason Schmidt can be so casual about blowing up this one). Wanting to save the weapons might be part of Zola’s reaction here, but that really isn’t reason enough for him to risk Schmidt’s anger (which can be deadly). At this point in time, there’s nothing in the factory they can’t afford to lose. 

Except for Bucky. 

Sergeant Barnes is the first one to show signs he might survive his stint in the isolation ward. He’s the first one to show signs that he might be responding to Zola’s attempts to create his own super soldier. That research is only located in one place, and Schmidt is about to send Zola’s breakthrough up in flames. The moment Zola realizes he can’t stop Schmidt, he makes a break for the lab to try to rescue his notes. Of course there’s no way he can carry Bucky out of there, so he has to make do with what he can get.  

In a painful twist of fate, Steve does Zola a favor by saving Bucky. 

Take a look at this standoff on the scaffold. Here the audience is meant to focus on Steve and Schmidt going head-to-head for the first time; but pay attention to Bucky and Zola. This is their standoff, too. Follow their line of sight. They’re not looking at Steve and/or Schmidt through most of this scene. They’re looking at each other, and you can almost see the realization on Zola’s face that his experiment might just be saved. 

Don’t you dare look at Bucky like that, you asshole. 

Also, can I just point out the look on Bucky’s face when he spots Zola?

If looks could kill. 

Not to mention his face when he sees what Schmidt looks like under the mask. Sure, Bucky’s line asking Steve if he has “one of those” is meant to be a joke for the audience; but I think Bucky’s experience as a character is a lot different from our experience outside the fourth wall. He’s genuinely scared–for Steve, for himself. You can see the trace of tears in his eyes. 

Bucky knows something awful has been done to him at the hands of Hydra, and he doesn’t know if he’s going to lose his humanity, too. 

Jump ahead and Captain America and the Howling Commandos are now laying waste to anything and everything Hydra. Things are looking bad for our villains.

This is an interesting line, because the movie doesn’t exactly tell us what Zola’s mission is. Maybe we’re supposed to think his mission is to make sure the weapons are finished in time to meet Schmidt’s timeline for world domination. Or maybe it’s to kill Captain America. And maybe those things are part of his job, but as Zola himself says, “I merely develop the weapons. I cannot fire them.” His primary job is research and development, not tactical planning and defense. 

Now that Hydra is up against a super soldier, it’s likely that Schmidt is anxious to get his own super soldiers into combat. The easiest and fastest way to complete that research, of course, is to retrieve Sergeant Barnes. (In theory, Zola could use Steve for experimentation if he caught him; but he would have to start the experiment from scratch. Peggy made it clear earlier in the film that it would take them years to find out the formula using Steve’s blood. Chances are good the same would apply to Zola. The work on Bucky is already underway, it’s Zola’s own handy work, and Bucky’s still weak enough to be an easy catch compared to Steve.)

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that, directly after Schmidt gives Zola the ultimatum to “finish his mission,” we cut to the Howling Commandos laying in wait for the train. They’re hoping to catch Zola, whose location has somehow been leaked, and it quickly becomes clear that the scummy doctor hasn’t been caught by surprise. In fact, everything indicates that Zola was the one laying in wait for them. He’s surveilling the entire train from a command center and issuing orders to strategically placed Hydra soldiers.

When Steve and Bucky board the car, Zola deliberately separates them.

Divide and conquer is a tried and true tactic, but look at the difference in the opponents sent after them. Steve is given a huge opponent armed to the back teeth with a Tesseract energy gun. But Bucky? Bucky faces off against one traditionally-armed guard. (EDIT: In a subsequent viewing I noticed he actually faces off against two guards, but the second one is barely seen and is removed from the equation fairly quickly.)

Why wasn’t that guard given an energy weapon too? My guess would be because Zola didn’t want his guinea pig harmed too badly. Bullet wounds can heal, but disintegration is forever. 

It might also be telling that when Steve and Bucky are back in the same compartment together, Zola screams “kill him” not “kill them.” It’s up for debate who Zola meant for the guard to target; but since he was initially sent after Steve, it’s my assumption that’s who Zola meant for him to shoot.    

As we all know, the plan goes horribly awry on both sides and Bucky falls to his seeming death. Zola is captured and, when Colonel Philips tells him that “the last guy you cost us was Captain Roger’s closest friend,” Zola barely acknowledges it with a creeptacular grin. 

He knows. He knows whatever he did to Bucky would keep him alive. And, as it turns out, even as a captive Zola will gain the means to finish his little experiment. 

Fucker. 

Some hilarious prompts #2

(bcs why not) Finally my collection of text posts will get in use omgg :D:D:DD:

(is possible to be customized)
(Send me requests with 1/1+ prompt/s. I write about a lot of fandoms and also a lot of different things : one shots/scenarios/imagines/headcanons/chats/conversations/aesthetics/alomst anything) REQUESTS ARE OPEN! (for promts from this list and from the first one)

82. Do you ever talk to a person and your heart starts doing some dubstep shit.

83. If you can’t deal with my sarcasm, I can’t deal with being your friend. 

84. I’m nothing but a constant state of internal screaming at this point.

85. I went to the beach once, 500 years later I still have fucking sand in my shoes.

86. How long after arriving at someone’s house is it appropriate to ask for the WiFi password?

87. Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

88. Thanks elevators, for bringing me up when I was down.

89.  Here’s a little song I like to call “I cherish our friendship so I won’t tell you I would totally have sex with you if you asked.”

90. A: Do you ever get the urge to get up in the middle of the night while everyone else  is fast asleep and just walk places and be completely and entirely dedicated to your thoughts?
      B: Yea, but the problem is I don’t want to get murdered. You feel me. 

91. Let me sleep in your stupid t-shirts and hold your dumb hand, you piece of shit.

92. need a gang to follow me around all day and clap when I make jokes.

93.  You know that feeling when you’re not your favourite person’s favourite person, and it kind of feels like you’re constantly swallowing sand.

94. “Stop being so dramatic” they say, “I don’t know what you mean” I say as I descent from the ceiling, surrounded by mist.

95. Just because you’re trash doesn’t mean you can’t do great things. It’s called garbage can, not garbage cannot.

96. Studies show that I literally did not ask.

97. A: It doesn’t matter what you look like on the outside…
      B: Whew!!! good
      A:…It’s who you are on the inside!
      B: Ah, fuck!

98.  A (puts their hand over their crush’s): Ha ha how’d that get there?

99. I express my emotions in long groans at different octaves.

100. I mean you piss me off, but I’d do anything for you.

101. Honestly, sometimes you just gotta let me be dramatic. Because I will get over it. But let me be dramatic first!

102. Do you ever feel like a 4 times divorced 45 year old woman that smokes cigarettes in her fur coats on a grand piano? Cause I do and it’s sad.

103. Single, not sure how to mingle.

104. I love it when people rant to me, like yes, I am entrusted with your hate.

105. My idea of flirting is making fun of each other, until one of us fucks up and says something nice.

106. A: I hate playing “never have I ever” because I’m a fucking slut.
        B: I hate playing “never have I ever” because I’m a fucking virgin.

107. Do you live on Elm Street, because you’re a nightmare.

108. Remember your parents told you to take out the trash? I’m the trash. They were telling you to take me out. Date me.

109. You know, liking someone and pretending you don’t is a lot of hard work.

110. How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked and on top of you?

111.  A (whispering): I really like you and want to kiss you a lot.
        B: What?
        A: I said you suck.

112. Have you ever accidentally befriended someone who is very very irritating?

113.  If you step on a person’s foot they open their mouth, just like a trash can.

114. How do I get over someone I never even dated?

115. Things I want - snuggles. Things get - struggles.

116. If you see me and I’m not wearing black, you saw wrong, that’s not me.

117. Why do we need to watch the sky to enjoy the stars, when the ulitimate star is me.

118. I hate when It’s so hot outside and a bitch tells you to take your jacket off, like bitch no, this is my outfit.

119. If karma doesn’t come around and hit you in the face, I will.

120. I don’t think I’ve ever shut up in my entire life.

121. A: You don’t talk much.
        B: I’m observing your weaknesses since you’re so freely verbalizing everything about yourself.

122.  A: My kink is when people actually care about my feelings and what I have to say
         B: Too unrealistic, settle for bondage like the rest of us.

123. A: Your future self is watching you right now through your memories.
        B: Not if I get drunk enough.

124. A: Is there a word between angry and sad?
        B: Malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolated.
        A: Smad.
        B: Oh my gOD.

125. Does the pale glow of my computer make me look hot?

126. Rest in peace to all the hours of sleep I’ve lost to overthinking.

127. You know it’s really rude to talk while I’m interrupting.

128. Is “no” an emotion, because I feel it?

129.  I always look sleep deprived is that hot?

130. If you listen carefully you can hear me whisper “shut the fuck up” at least once every five minutes.

131. I’m kind of hurt, kind of offended, kind of not planning on saying anything about it.

132.  I’m tired 8 days a week.

133. I don’t trust people who look good with messy hair.

134.  I may be a shitty friend, but I’m your shitty friend.

135. Seven billion people on this planet and I have 2 friends. What is wrong with people, like put some effort in it, I’m not just gonna come and do the job for you.

136.  I’m sorry, is my swag distracting you?

137. I aspire to get to that level of hot when my hair looks like shit and I smell like black coffee and yesterday’s eyeliner is smudged under my eyes, but I still look fine as hell.

138. A: No, listen! What if one day you just turned into an almond and you couldn’t do anything about it because you were just a fucking almond?!
       B: You need to get laid, you weirdo.

139. A: You wear that a lot.
        B: That’s because I’m the main character of the story here, peasant.

140.  I don’t “dress to impress”, I dress to depress. I want to look so good that people hate themselves.

141. Behind every great man is me, checking out that ass.

142. The future is now, old man.

143. Seriously, all you do is bitch.

144. Are you trying to seduce me? Because so far you’re doing a great job.

145. Forgive and forget? More like resent and remember.

146. I’m that kind of person who between two choices always picks the wrong one.

147. I know what you’re going through, I read “The Perks of Being a Wallflower”.

148. Excuse me, I hate to go and vomit.

149. A: One day I hope I am the girl that walks into a room and all eyes are on her.
        B: The trick is to get a really big hat and scream.

150.  So tired of being human, I want to be a flower.

151. Screenshots don’t scare me, I know what the fuck I said!

152. I’m sorry for what I said, I was hungry.

153. A: Don’t buy a girl flowers. Flowers die. Buy her a dragon.
        B: Because dragons don’t die?
        A: Because it’s hard to say “no” to something that can murder you instantaneously.

154. I want to be rebellious, but I don’t want to get in trouble.

155. A to B: Breaking news: being an asshole all the time doesn’t make you complicated and mysterious, it just makes you an asshole

156. You know it’s really rude to talk while I’m interrupting.

157. One of these days I’m going to roll my eyes too hard and I’m gonna go blind.

158. I’m not a hint taker, you need to speak up.

159. Why allow yourself to be full of hate, when you can be full of pasta instead?

160. I’m an angry person and I want to let it all out and be an asshole, but I’m also a nice person and I don’t want to actually hurt anyone’s feelings, do you feel me?

100 Banging Kinks: Fuck Machine

Originally posted by complete-fandom-trashhh

Pairing: Bucky / Reader

Word Count: 651

Warning: Smut (bad horribly written smut but smut the nevertheless), language, and just toys?

This is my first time writing smut so bare with me. But with the celebration of Bucky Barnes 100th birthday, I am participating in @bucky-plums-barnes 100 banging kinks! I hope you enjoy.


You moaned lowly as Bucky took his fingers from your wet folds and brought them to his mouth, sucking them clean. “Fuck baby, you taste so good,” he cursed and you whined, arching your back in pleasure.

Bucky was sitting against the headboard, you between his legs with your back flush against his chest. He gripped your thighs and spread your legs wider, draping them over his before bending his knees so you were really on full display.

“Bucky~” You whimpered and felt his chest vibrate as he chuckled close to your ear.

“Eager are we kitten?” He asked and you tilted your head back against his chest as a blush formed on your cheeks. But your eyes never left the contraption in front of you.

A few days ago, you and Bucky made the horrible decision to get drunk and one thing led to another and that night, one of your kinks were revealed. Since then, Bucky had made it his mission to fulfill that kink.

“I want you to watch yourself,” he murmured in your ear and your eyes drifted up to where he had moved your mirror so it showed you and him everything that was about to happen. His icy blue eyes bored into yours through the mirror and it was in that moment you saw the remote in his hands.

His thumb clicked the button on the remote and your back arched again as you gasped. The fuck machine came to life under Bucky’s control and did exactly what it was supposed to.

Bucky’s arm wrapped around your stomach to keep you still as his other hand came to your breast, groping and massaging the mound as the dildo thrusted in and out of you in the first speed.

“Bucky!” You groaned and instinctively rolled your hips to meet each thrust, your eyes closing as it continued to slid deep within you. Bucky then clicked the remote again and the machine sped up its movements causing you to cry out snapping your eyes open to look at Bucky through the mirror.

“I said to watch yourself,” he growled lowly and you felt his erection against your back.

The view he had of you was intoxicating. His eyes couldn’t keep away from the dildo that pushed between you wet folds over and over again causing you to cry out and squirm in his grasp. A thin layer of sweat was stuck on your body and your legs kept tightening against his in attempts to close while your hips simultaneously moved meeting the fuck machine so it would slid in deeper.

“Bucky,” you groaned and his eyes looked towards the mirror where you were already looking at him. “Bucky, I’m close-” you whimpered and moaned your hands finding their way to his hair, pulling it as you closed your eyes again, the familiar heat forming within you.

Bucky smirked and slid his hand down to your clit, rubbing the bundle of nerves in figure eights as his other hand clicked the remote one more time making the machine go the fastest it could go. You cried out in ecstasy and your hand gripped his wrist to ground yourself as you felt your legs begin to shake.

You then felt his other hand wrap its way around your throat, squeezing just right as his breath fanned over your neck. “Cum,” he demanded and it was all you needed as the tension that built in your body snapped and your body shook as you felt what was maybe your strongest orgasm wash over you.

When you finally came down from your blissful state you realized the machine had came to a slow stop and Bucky was stroking your hair as he kissed your shoulder gently. “We are definitely doing that again.” He murmured and you nodded your head lazily, your legs still slightly shaking in post-orgasmic shock.

“Fuck yes.”

3

47. My turn ons? Well I don’t know, maybe some fucking common sense.
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52. My kink is closing the fucking bathroom door, because no one wants to see you fucking pee!

Those are probably my favourite ones omg ;D Hope you’ll enjoy what I wrote :)

“Why are boys so annoying, oh my god!”- you groaned in frustration, followed by Bucky who had an unbelievable smirk on his face, which you wanted to smack at the moment. “And why do you keep walking around half naked and…wet? Why the hell are you wet? You look like a glistening baby’s butt, Barnes!”- you waved your hands in the air like a mad man, but god, you were annoyed!

“No, don’t laugh at me, because you keep doing it! You keep walking your naked butt around as if it’s something everyone wants to look at, playboy!”- the expression on your face was the perfect opposite of his. While yours was a one that said ‘So done with your shit’, his…well his was more like ‘You know you want some more of my shit’.

Well, maybe you did, but that’s not the point now, is it?
You smacked his hard chest with your hand and he brought his to the spot you had just hit him and opened his mouth, pretending to be hurt. “You’re a dick”. Yes, that was your final word about it, why the hell bother with an idiot anyways, and besides you can’t really stay near his half naked self for too long and not stare like a schoolgirl.

But, he didn’t have to know that, so you just brushed him off and turned around dramatically, and just so dramatically failed as you found yourself hitting your pinkie toe on the edge of the cabinet.

So, whining in misery, you glared at him, and he was looking quite amused, laughing and such. “You okay there?”- you narrowed your eyes at him, and went to kick him in the leg. “Don’t act like you care, you little fuck!” 

His laughter was a blessing from god, well usually, now it was just irritating you in two very opposite ways. Another thing he doesn’t need to know.

“Come on, baby, you have to admit I turn you on, at least physically, you get all blushy when I’m around.” - well how dare he! You just scoffed at him with an unbelievable expression. “So what do you say, I think I can definitely add myself on the list with your turn ons…maybe even kinks?”- he wiggled his brows and even if this made your insides turn red, your face stayed equally annoyed as two seconds ago.

He was one smooth bastard and he knew it, so he made his way over to you and well, his chest were really in your face now, like wow has he been training, because damn. What the fuck _____?? No. “So tell me what turns you on?” - his voice was just the right amount of deepness, mixed with huskyness and like ten spoons of flirtatiousness, but you weren’t giving up just yet, so you kind of said ‘fuck off’ to your horny brain.

My turn ons? Well, what could they be, I don’t know, maybe some fucking common sense! Which leads me to my kink, that would be closing the fucking bathroom door, because no one wants to see you fucking pee! I don’t want to get flashed by you anymore God damn it, there isn’t a bloody part from you that I haven’t seen!! I feel traumatized and my eyes - my eyes have been violated too many times, Barnes!” - your voice progressed from mumbling to yourself to yelling in his face and shaking him by his arms, while he was simply looking at you dead in the eye with a seductive smirk.

Until… the towel around his hips fell on the ground.

“Oh my gOD, NOT AGAIN!”